Resisting Her Army Doc Rival

She risked a glance at him, and gasped at the worry filling his steady summer-sky eyes.

‘Are you all right?’ he demanded.

‘Yes.’ The thudding in her chest had spread to take up residence in her skull—beat, beat, beat. She needed to get indoors, away from dust clouds—and compelling eyes that had already seen too much. ‘I’ve never seen dust like that, and naturally...’ Would he fall for this? ‘Naturally I thought there was a fire. I won’t make that mistake again.’

‘You’d better not. It would be a hindrance on patrol. You could endanger others.’ His worry didn’t diminish, suggesting he was concerned she wouldn’t be competent enough to do her job as a soldier.

‘I think you’ll find I know what I’m doing.’ But reality was sinking in fast. This was nothing like practising back home, however seriously the officers had taken every manoeuvre in which they partook. If she did freak out at the sight of smoke again she might not get away with it. But as long as the camp commander didn’t see fit to lock her up in a padded cell she’d be all right.

‘You’d better.’ His worry might be abating but he was still studying her with the intensity of a microbiologist looking down a microscope.

Which rattled her nearly as much as the dust had. Her vulnerability was rearing up again, pushing out from the corner she worked hard at keeping it tucked into. Sam—or anyone on base—must not find her lacking. Neither could he learn how insecure she could be.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ he asked in a less autocratic tone.

‘How long have you served on the Peninsula?’ Suddenly her time here stretched before her, filled with uncertainties. Would she be strong enough to lead troops outside the camp? There’d be no respect from them if she turned into a blithering idiot because of dust. Or smoke.

‘Twelve months, give or take a day.’

She’d do less. Thank goodness for something. ‘Have you enjoyed your tour here?’ Anything to avoid the chasm she was looking into right now.

His nod was sharp. ‘This has been one of the better ones.’

‘So there’ve been others.’ Others that hadn’t been as comfortable, the edgy tone of his voice suggested.

‘Yes.’

‘Guess I’ve a lot to learn.’

‘Definitely, but we all have to deal with things we’re not at ease with when we first arrive. You’ll be fine.’ The grin was back, a little forced, but she’d accept it as it made her relax a teeny bit more. For now the danger of falling into that compelling look was far less risky than exposing the vulnerability that haunted her. This was Sam Lowe, a man she could relate to because they came from the same city, had been to the same school, and right now someone familiar was like balm on feverish skin.

Bet he’s a fantastic doctor. And a good soldier. He’d always done well at everything he did. Yes, she remembered that much about him. The pounding behind her eyes intensified. There was too much to deal with right now. ‘I need to settle into my room.’ She needed to look forward and not back, something she couldn’t manage while in Sam’s presence.

‘I’ll see you later in the medical centre.’

She nodded. ‘I’ll be there as soon as possible.’ And get started on her new job, even if she only got to meet her colleagues and learn the layout of the unit.

Sam turned away, spun back as though trying to catch her out. The intensity in his gaze had not backed off. Whatever he was looking for, she doubted he found it because finally he shrugged, said almost kindly, ‘Welcome to the Peninsula, Maddy.’ This time he strode away without a backward glance.

He remembered her friends called her Maddy? Or was it a natural abbreviation of Madison? That was more likely. He wouldn’t remember much about her. Why should he? They hadn’t mixed in the same crowd or been in the same classes. But... A sigh escaped her lips. The way her name sounded in his gravelly voice was something to hold onto. It warmed her when she was already hot, flattened the goose bumps that dust had raised, gave her hope. Hope for what? No idea, but it was so rare she’d hold onto it anyway.

The pack still weighed her down, pulling so her spine curved backwards, but it was the head stuff that kept her rooted to the spot. That and the man whose long legs were eating up the parade ground as he put distance between them. She felt as though she had too many balls in the air and wasn’t about to catch any of them.

Trudging towards her barracks, she tried to drag up memories of Sam. He’d been head boy in their last year, captain of his sports teams, a natural leader if the devotion from others wasn’t a figment of her imagination. Officer material for sure. Which said he’d want to be in charge here in the medical unit. Probably was anyway, given he’d been here for a year.

Too much to think about right now. Exhaustion gnawed at her. Her body ached and her head was full of wool. The heat pelted her from every direction. She was in way over her depth and had no idea how to get out. But she would find a way: after a shower and a full night’s sleep in a bed, and after time to reflect on how she could move forward without blotting her copybook.

Now, there was a first.

Could be quite exciting really.

CHAPTER TWO

‘MADISON HUNTER SURE grew up beautiful,’ Sam muttered. But, then, she’d had a good start, had always been cute and pretty, and had kept the guys on the lookout for her around the school grounds.

Slamming the outside door behind him, he cut off the heat—and the sight of Captain Hunter. He recalled the pert nose, the sweet mouth, and the thick, dark blonde hair that had swished back and forth across her back whenever she’d worn it free of the ties that the school had insisted on most of the time. That mouth wasn’t so sweet any more; tightened quickly as a lightning flash at times. But not in a sulky, spoilt manner. More as if something had hurt her in the past and she was desperate to hold herself together. There’d been a load of fear in her eyes, her face, her stance. What had that been about? Something horrendous that had changed her for ever? That’d be an explanation he could understand all too well. As for the short bob—who’d known how curly her hair was? Must’ve been the weight of it all that had kept it nearly straight back then.

‘What had I been thinking when I rushed out to welcome her on base?’ Had he wanted a taste of home? From someone who knew next to nothing about him? They were virtually strangers, had barely acknowledged each other eighteen years ago, mainly because they’d had nothing in common. These days his cocky confidence had been replaced with caution and a blinding awareness of how life could implode in an instant. Drawing everyone close to him no longer happened. Instead, he used the guilt he carried to keep everyone distant. How could he be happy when other people weren’t able to be because of him?

Drawn to the window like a lad to the candy shop, he stared out at Madison dragging herself towards the officers’ quarters. Tall, slim and, from the muscles tightening under his palms when he’d caught her, very fit. Enough to make a man put his heart on the line. If he had a heart. Which meant she was safe from him. He’d put that particular organ in lockdown two years ago to protect anyone from being hurt by him.

But he couldn’t deny the blood in his veins. It was heating him, hardening him, reminding him how long it had been since he’d been with a woman. Too long. An oath ripped out of his mouth as the truth slam-dunked him. Unbelievable. He wanted Madison. Minutes after saying hello to someone he barely knew and he was reacting with none of the usual hesitations that instantly sprang up to protect him, and her. Unbelievable.

He was going to have to pull tight on those bands around the pit that held all his emotions. In a very short time Madison was proving to be a challenge to everything he held close and accepted as his way of life now. He’d have to dig deep to keep her off limits. But he’d had plenty of practice over the last two years, so what was one week of hardship? An impossibility? No. Definitely doable.

The window was warm against his forehead as he tracked Maddy’s slow movements. Exhaustion folded her in on herself as she hauled one shapely leg after the other. He should’ve taken her pack and dumped it in the barracks regardless of the fact she’d been in a hurry to get away from him. How hard would it have been to do something kind instead of walking away to save his own sanity? There was no answer. Only minutes in her company and she’d begun scrambling his brain like the eggs he’d had for breakfast.

‘What’s the great attraction out there?’ Jock called across the room.

‘Nothing,’ he muttered.

‘So you’re going to stand there all day gaping at nothing?’ Jock was supposedly going through patient records, removing the ones of those staff heading back to New Zealand next week.

Grabbing the interruption with both hands, he turned around. ‘What’s up? That stack of files doesn’t appear any lower than it did an hour ago.’

Jock had probably been texting his family and pals at home. Now that they both only had a few days remaining it was getting harder to focus entirely on this tour of duty. Home was beckoning. For him that meant another army base, another round of training as well as working in a local hospital surgical unit until the next posting. More time to contemplate the empty years ahead.

‘I hear the new medic’s arrived. Guess we’ll meet her shortly.’

‘She’s unpacking.’ You’re going to fall under her spell in a snap. She was everything a red-blooded male could ask for.

‘You’ve met her?’

‘Long time back.’ Yikes. He hadn’t mentioned recognising her name in the email from headquarters. Now Jock would go for his throat. Sam tried to deflect him. ‘Just passed her on the field, said hello.’ Had seen her become as still as a rock, colourless as marble, staring at something he’d been unable to figure out as though it was going to attack her. He’d caught her before she’d face planted. What had that been about? Smoke, she’d said. Dust, he’d told her. The fear that had blitzed him from the shadows lurking in her eyes had dampened her spark into a dark brown bog filled with hidden torments. Genuine, don’t-hurt-me fear. He hated that. There’d been signs that spoke of pain and anguish, signs she’d desperately tried to hide. And failed.

What happened to you, Madison?

No, he didn’t want to know. Knowing would lead to wanting to learn even more and before he knew it he’d be getting close to her. He’d seen that fearful look before—in William’s eyes as he’d lain dying. Sam’s head tipped back as pain stabbed him. William. His best friend. They’d clicked the moment they’d met on the first day of training at Papakura Military Camp. The friend who’d never returned home after following him to Afghanistan.

‘Sam,’ Jock called, loud enough to break into his maudlin thoughts. ‘You got the hots for this woman? Or is there some juicy history?’ Jock’s expression was full of expectation.

Go away, man. But that wasn’t going to happen any time soon, so Sam went for the obvious. ‘I guess Madison will come visiting when she’s ready,’ he told the man who’d refused to back off from becoming a friend, no matter how often he’d been pushed aside.

Jock’s head tipped sideways. ‘Something you’re not telling me?’

The guy was too shrewd for his own good. ‘Can’t think of anything.’

He got laughed at for his efforts. ‘You’ve fallen for her.’

‘In thirty seconds? Give me a break.’ He shuddered at the thought. And that wasn’t because Madison was a horror.

‘I’ve heard that’s all it takes.’

‘Shouldn’t you be sorting those files?’

Wrong thing to say.

‘So I’m right.’

He had to shut Jock up fast. ‘You couldn’t be further from the mark. I cannot, will not, fall for a woman, no matter how much she interests me.’

‘You ever think it time to let that go, mate?’ One of Jock’s eyebrows lifted nonchalantly, as if he didn’t know the boundaries he was stepping over. But he did, and wasn’t afraid to show it.

Heat hit Sam’s cheeks as he snapped, ‘Knock it off, Jock. You know the story. Nothing’s changed.’ Anger tightened his gut. He would never let it go. He didn’t deserve happiness when William had died because of him.

Jock started to say something and Sam was instantly defensive, cutting him off. ‘Don’t go there,’ he repeated, the warning loud and harsh in his voice. Back in New Zealand there was a woman hurting because of her fiancé’s death, a lovely woman who’d never have William’s children or share her life with the man she loved.

But across the room his pal merely shrugged as if this wasn’t important. ‘No problem. So where did you know Captain Hunter?’

‘Madison. We weren’t friends, just attended the same school. But there was no not knowing who she was.’ Sam dragged his hand over his face. Maddy’s career moves had been unbelievably similar to his. ‘And don’t even say we should play catch up on people we might both have known at school. I’m not interested so I’m staying out of her way as much as possible for the time I’ve got left here.’ As the words were spilling regret flicked through his jaded psyche. He wanted to spend time with her despite the restrictions he’d imposed upon himself. But he’d stay away. One week wasn’t too long to hold out on this strange need to touch base with her sneaking through him. One week.

‘You seen the roster for tomorrow’s patrol?’ There was a mischievous sparkle in Jock’s eyes that didn’t bode well for his vow to stay clear of trouble.

Dread he didn’t understand floored him. One look at the notice board partially explained. ‘Swap with me.’ Maddy had problems. He’d seen them in her eyes, in that fear, and for him to get involved, maybe help her, would endanger both of them. Ultimately he’d let her down, one way or another. He did that to people who mattered to him. Never again. ‘Please,’ he grunted. Not quite begging, but damned close.

‘No can do. I’m rostered to take my crew into town and check out the hot spots there.’

‘So swap.’

‘Nope.’ Jock shook his craggy head. ‘Captain Hunter’s all yours.’

Sam’s crew would be patrolling beyond the town’s perimeters. ‘That sucks. She’d better be up to scratch,’ was all he could come up with, though he didn’t understand his concerns. Neither did he understand why his fingertips tingled and his groin ached just thinking about her.

Like he was eighteen all over again, working hard to be Mr Popularity at school, to show it didn’t matter he was being raised by a family that was unrelated to him because his own had left him. A wonderful, kind and caring family, but not his.

Jock clapped a hand on his shoulder. ‘These next few days could prove interesting. Time I witnessed you being brought to your knees over a woman.’

‘You going to let up on this any time soon?’ The guy knew what had gone down in Sam’s past so why all this bull dust?

A low cry came from the treatment room, cutting through his gloom. He raised an eyebrow at Jock. ‘One of ours?’

Jock shook his head. ‘That’s the mother of a three-year-old boy with five rotten teeth and inflamed gums. They were brought in while you were out filling the gas tanks.’

So he hadn’t been texting. ‘You never mentioned them when I came back.’ Or when he’d started out to welcome Madison.

Jock shrugged. ‘You want to swap anything, you can take this one for me.’

‘Where are you up to with the boy?’ Sam held out a hand for the notes being extended in his direction.

‘Waiting on bloods before putting him out so as we can extract what’s left of his teeth.’ Jock fidgeted with other files on his table. Everyone knew he hated working with children, found it too stressful since losing a child in an emergency operation under extreme conditions in Afghanistan two years ago. He’d been on a hiding to nothing before he’d even picked up the scalpel but no one had been able to make him see that then or afterwards.

Sam could’ve asked to change places on patrol in return for taking over the boy’s case and Jock probably would’ve obliged but, damn it, he wouldn’t do that to his pal. All right, Jock was a pal, was getting closer all the time, but not so close Sam would hurt him. Good to have him at his back, though.

‘Would you look at that?’ Jock’s eyes were so wide he appeared blinded by bright lights.

Sam didn’t have to turn in the direction his mate was staring to know Maddy had entered the room, way earlier than he’d expected. ‘She’s quite something, isn’t she?’

‘Can see why you were mooning at the window.’

‘I wasn’t mooning.’

Jock’s head bobbed like a balloon on the water. ‘You sure you don’t want to stay on for the next six months?’ he cracked.

Sam laughed, if that’s what the strangled sound that burst from his mouth was. Bitter, dry and full of despair. ‘I’m no good for her.’ But he had to face up to her—now and again and again over the coming days—without becoming mesmerised by her. He turned to nod abruptly at Madison. ‘That was quick.’ Some colour had returned to her cheeks, but the exhaustion remained.

‘The shower was cold.’ Her shrug was defensive.

‘That happens around here.’ Relief softened him. Her fear had backed off. He doubted it was gone, but right now she wasn’t being crippled by it. Wariness now met his gaze. Was she worried he’d told everyone she’d freaked out over a dust cloud? Not a chance. ‘Cold water’s just another thing to get used to. Come and meet the crew. Jock, Madison Hunter.’

Jock was on his feet in an instant, his hand extended in greeting. ‘Hey, great to have you on board. Sam says you two know each other from school.’

Her mouth twisted into something resembling a smile. Not her old full-on, love-me-or-get-out-of-my-space smile, but something softer and more cautious that inexplicably settled over Sam’s heart, loosened some of the tension he wore twenty-four seven. She said, ‘That’s an exaggeration.’ She might’ve been talking to Jock but those weary eyes were on him. ‘I didn’t play rugby and Sam wasn’t into debating.’

‘You still do that? Belong to a debating team, I mean.’ Damned if he could turn away. It felt as though he was falling into a pit, a deep one filled with the scent of home, the warmth of people he’d grown up with, the lure of a future he’d denied himself too long. And would continue to deny himself. But he would not hide from Madison for the next week. Decision made, he closed the gap between them. ‘You used to be very good.’

‘At arguing a point?’ Her mouth softened. ‘I still argue about most things, but no longer under the guise of representing a team.’

‘You sure Sam wasn’t in your team?’ Jock filled the sudden silence developing between Madison and Sam and halting the prickly sensation tripping down Sam’s spine. ‘He’s always disputing everything around here.’

‘Really?’ Those brown eyes widened, lightened into the colour of his favourite milk chocolate. ‘So you know better than the army?’ she teased.

‘Don’t tell the commander.’ He grinned.

‘As if he doesn’t know,’ Jock quipped, before heading towards the room where his young patient waited.

‘I said I’d take that case,’ Sam called after him. He needed to get out of here anyway. ‘You give Maddy the rundown on how the clinic works.’

‘No, you do that.’ Damn the guy but he’d shut the door on anything else Sam had to say.

‘What case?’ Maddy asked. ‘Can I do something to help?’

‘No, everything’s under control. Anyway, you’re not fit for duty until you’ve had some sleep.’

‘I guess. One of the troops unwell?’ She didn’t let a subject drop easily.

‘A child was brought in to have teeth removed.’ Now she’d really crank up the questions.

‘One of those waiting outside earlier? I thought you said they weren’t allowed in very often.’

‘There are exceptions. Especially with children.’

‘I’m glad.’ Her hand hovered over her stomach. ‘Kids shouldn’t be denied treatment because of the adult world around them.’

‘Agreed.’ He took a long breath, pushed aside thoughts of children and babies, especially those he’d once hoped he might have with a special woman he could give his heart to. When Maddy opened her mouth he rushed to close her down before she said something that might have him saying things he told no one. ‘You like kids?’

That hand flattened hard against her belly. The fingers whitened they were so tense. ‘Adore them.’ Her voice quivered.

Why? What was going on? Things weren’t adding up. Earlier she’d been terrified of smoke that hadn’t been smoke, now there was a distinct hint of sadness in her expression. ‘So do I,’ Sam commented, still wondering if Madison had problems at home. There were no rings on her fingers. Her surname hadn’t changed. ‘You haven’t married or got into a full-time relationship?’ he asked, oh, so casually, so as not to wind her up.

‘Divorced and single,’ she muttered after a long minute contemplating the wall behind him.

He hadn’t realised he’d been holding his breath until he heard those words. Would’ve been better if she was hooked up with someone. Then he’d be able to laugh at this annoying sense of wanting to get closer to her. He’d never step on another man’s patch. What did that matter when he had no intention of having a relationship at all? ‘I’m sorry to hear that. About the divorce, I mean,’ he added quickly, in case she misinterpreted his comment.

‘So was I. At the time.’ Then she winced. No doubt thinking she’d said far too much about herself. ‘Shall we go and see if we can help Jock?’

‘Sure.’ The boy did not need three doctors but Sam needed to get back on track with keeping away from Maddy, and she, he suspected, needed a diversion after revealing something so painful. The divorce must’ve been something she hadn’t wanted. Had she got over it? For her sake, he hoped so. Wasting life pining for what might’ve been would be a shame, thought the expert at it.

CHAPTER THREE

‘NEED SOME BLOOD HERE,’ Sam called from the other side of the treatment room six hours later.

At the sound of the deep voice that brought images of pebbles rolling up the beach on a wave Madison looked up to find Sam watching her. ‘You want me to get it?’ When she already had her hands full?

His headshake was abrupt. ‘You carry on extracting that bullet.’

‘I’m on to it.’ Literally. The forceps she held tapped against metal deep in her patient’s thigh right on cue. Maddy grimaced. Talk about being thrown in at the deep end. Removing a bullet from this man’s thigh wasn’t difficult, but it was different from anything she’d dealt with in emergency departments back home. Which could explain why Sam had given her this patient when they’d been called in from the barracks. Getting her up to speed ASAP. Bullets and the army went hand in hand, she just hadn’t thought she’d be facing any this soon. She’d wanted something outside her comfort zone, and now it looked like she’d got it.

He seemed to have to pull his gaze away from her to call out, ‘Cassy, a bag of O neg wouldn’t go amiss here.’

‘Coming right up,’ replied the nurse she’d met half an hour ago when she’d raced in dressed in a hurriedly pulled on long T and shorts.

One wide-eyed stare from Sam and she’d also hauled on scrubs quick smart. He had no idea of the hideous sight her garments covered, and the scrubs would make doubly sure neither he nor anyone else did find out. ‘What’s up?’ she’d asked at the time to nudge his attention away from her. Just in case Sam had X-ray vision and could see through her clothes.

He’d brought her up to speed fast. ‘Three locals were brought to the main entrance with injuries sustained when a man in the market went berserk with a gun. You’ve got the thigh wound.’

‘Not a problem,’ she’d replied, and had ignored his muttered comment that had gone something like ‘nor should it be’.

‘We have stocks of blood on hand?’ Maddy asked now. ‘Seriously?’ This wasn’t a fully equipped hospital with all the bells and whistles. Neither was there a blood bank to draw from.