The Christmas Cradle

“You’re going to get me in trouble,” Cari teased. “You keep forgetting I’m not allowed on the executive floor.”

The executive floor was for the Preston family. Her father had a large suite of offices, as did she and her brother, Reed.

Marisa turned from the window.

“What’s wrong?” Cari asked immediately.

“I saw him.”

Cari frowned. “Him? Who?”

“Him,” Marisa emphasized.

“Oh, no.” Cari understood now, and Marisa blurted out what happened.

“He was awful and I…I don’t understand.” Marisa was trembling visibly, and Cari quickly got her a glass of water.

“Here—” Cari handed her the glass. “Sit down before you collapse.”

Marisa sank into her chair and took a sip.

“Are you okay?”

Marisa nodded. “Seeing him was such a shock and he was so hateful, not at all like the man I once knew. It brought back so many memories. I wanted to tell him about our son, but he wouldn’t listen. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was. I wanted him to know—” Her voice wavered as emotion closed her throat.

Cari knelt beside her. “Marisa, don’t do this to yourself. You were so young, and you did the best you could under the circumstances.”

“Did I?” Marisa jerked to her feet and began to pace. “I don’t think so. I was weak and I let my mother control my life.”

Cari stood, too. “Marisa, what good will it do to—”

“My mother has these priceless crystal eggs that have figurines in them. I feel like one of those figurines, encased in glass, sheltered from the world, not allowed to live or make my own choices. That’s how both my parents treat me—like a piece of crystal.”

Cari didn’t say anything.

“Everyone knows my father created this job for me. I’m nothing but a figurehead. I’m allowed to decorate the store. That’s rich. That’s a joke.”

“Marisa, please—”

“But not anymore, Cari,” she said with renewed vigor. “No one’s going to treat me like that—including Colter Kincaid.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I have to see him again and tell him what really happened. That’s the only way I’ll have any peace.” She drew a deep breath. “But I don’t know where he lives. I never knew, even when we were together.”

“Do you really not know?”

Marisa swung to face her friend. “What?”

“I guess it was inevitable that you’d run into him one day.”

“What do you mean?”

A look of momentary discomfort crossed Cari’s face. “He has a large horse ranch somewhere outside Mesquite.”

“How do you know?” Marisa asked, pushing hair from her face.

“A couple of years ago, he was featured in Texas magazine. The story talked about his success as a horse rancher—and in the western wear business. His name’s on everything from boots to belt buckles.”

“What?” she whispered. “He was just a cowboy when I met him. And now he…”

“Marisa.” Cari’s eyes filled with compassion. “I never said anything because I didn’t want to upset you—and what good could it possibly have done? You’ve come too far to let this get the better of you.”

Marisa licked her dry lips. “Where’s his ranch?”

Cari shook her head. “I’ve just read about it, that’s all.”

“Please, Cari, I need his address.” Marisa stared into her friend’s eyes with a silent plea.

Cari sighed. “Marisa, I have this feeling you’re going to get hurt.”

“More than I’m hurting right now? I don’t think that’s possible.”

Cari flung up her hands. “Okay, let’s try the Dallas and Mesquite phone books.”

Marisa opened a drawer and pulled out the directories. Colter wasn’t listed, but his company had a Dallas address.

“That doesn’t help,” Marisa said. “And I’m sure his company won’t divulge his home address.”

“Your father has a lot of contacts,” Cari suggested. “I’m sure he could find the address in no time.”

“I don’t want my father involved in this,” Marisa replied, her tone abrupt.

Cari shrugged. “Just an idea. Now, let’s think. There must be a lot of people who know him.” Cari grew thoughtful. “Wait a minute. Why didn’t I think of this before? My sister’s husband works for one of those large feed-supply places. Colter has horses, so maybe he buys feed from them.”

“Call him, Cari, please.”

As Cari punched out a number, Marisa’s nerves were taut. She knew she should just forget about Colter and get on with her life. He had, so why couldn’t she? She didn’t have an answer. All she knew was that she had to find him.

Cari haggled with her brother-in-law, it was clear he didn’t want to give out the information. Finally Cari scribbled something on a pad and Marisa’s heartbeat accelerated.

Cari hung up, then handed her the paper. “I had to use a little family blackmail, but there it is.”

Marisa hugged her. “Thanks, Cari. Thank you so much.”

“Just don’t tell anyone where you got the address, or Charlie could lose his job.”

“I won’t breathe a word. I promise.” She grabbed her purse and coat.

“You’re going now?” Cari asked, sounding dismayed.

“Yes. I need to do this and I need to do it now.”

“But sleet’s in the forecast. Why don’t you wait until tomorrow?”

“No, I can’t,” Marisa said. “I’ll be back before the weather turns bad. Mesquite is only about fifteen minutes from Dallas, and the ranch can’t be much farther.”

“Marisa—”

A tap on the door interrupted Cari. Reed Preston, Marisa’s brother, walked in and shook his head at Cari. “You know you’re not supposed to be on this floor,” he said.

Cari didn’t bat an eye at Reed’s censure. “Don’t worry, junior, I was just leaving.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Cari lifted an eyebrow, then glanced at Marisa. “Call me later.” She sauntered out the door.

“I don’t appreciate it when you talk to my friends like that,” Marisa said once the other woman had left.

“Cari? She’s tough as nails, and if I didn’t reprimand her, she’d think I was ill.”

“Still, she’s my friend and I invited her here.”

“Point taken.” Reed grinned at her.

He was five years older than Marisa and a younger version of their father, very tall and handsome with a disarming smile. She was four years old when she and her mother moved to New York, and nine-year-old Reed had stayed with their father in Dallas. It was well known that Harold Dalton had arranged the marriage of his only daughter, Vanessa, to Richard Preston. His daughter didn’t have much interest in the stores, and her grandfather wanted a man who could control her and control the empire he’d built.

The marriage had been a disaster from the start, but they’d stuck it out until Harold Dalton passed away. Then they’d received a shock. Harold had left half his estate to Vanessa and the other half to Richard. If they divorced, they’d lose everything. Her grandfather had sentenced them to a life together. But her parents figured out a way around it—living separate lives without a divorce, and in the process making their children’s lives a nightmare.

“I stopped by to see if you wanted to go with me to the airport to pick up Mother.”

“Oh, no, sorry. I have other plans.” She couldn’t believe her mother’s visit had completely slipped her mind. She’d been dreading it for days. Now other, more important, matters took precedence.

Reed watched her for a moment. “Are you okay?”

“Sure, why?”

“You seem a little nervous.”

“It’s nothing.”

“I know you and Mother have had problems, but that’s all in the past, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

In her youth, her mother’s complete domination of her life had turned her into a shy, insecure teenager. Vanessa had dreams and plans for Marisa—dreams Marisa didn’t share. She’d rebelled only once, when she’d run away to Vegas, and that had been the happiest and yet most debilitating part of her life. She had thought she’d never recover, but after the death of her son, her father had brought her back to Texas. With his love and support, she’d stood up to her mother and refused to return to New York. For the first time in her life, she made her own plans. She went to university and earned a degree in business and then began working for Dalton Department Stores, much to her father’s delight.

She’d grown confident and stronger and was now able to cope with her mother on an adult level. She still had difficulty sorting out her feelings about Vanessa, but she did love her, although at times she found it impossible to like her.

“I really have to go,” she said, brushing past Reed.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be home in time for dinner.” She threw the words over her shoulder.

As she drove out of Dallas, her nerve began to falter, especially when she thought about Colter’s wife. Shannon had been crazy about him back then and she hadn’t liked it when Colter took an interest in Marisa. Colter had said they were just friends, but Marisa knew it was far more for Shannon. In the end, Shannon had won. Colter had married her. That hurt, even now, but she didn’t want to cause any problems in Colter’s marriage. However, she had to tell him the truth, for her own peace of mind, her sanity. She couldn’t live with the guilt any longer, and there was only one solution. To see Colter—and to tell him about their son.

Chapter Two

Colter sat at his kitchen table clutching a cup of coffee, unable to get her out of his mind. What was she doing in Dallas? Working, she’d said, but somehow that didn’t fit the Marisa he’d known. She’d lived in New York with her mother who was wealthy, and Marisa was a daughter of that environment. She was so far out of his realm that he didn’t understand why he’d gotten involved with her in the first place.

He shifted uneasily. What did she expect from him? She was the one who’d left. What did she hope to gain by trying to make amends?

He squeezed his eyes shut. He’d somehow known that someday they’d meet again. But she would not make a fool of him again—not now that he had his daughter. Ellie was his top priority, and ever since her mother had decided she didn’t want to be a mother, he had devoted his life to her, making sure she had roots, stability and a home. He didn’t bring other women into their lives and he realized that had probably been a bad decision. He’d thought his sisters would fill that void in Ellie’s life, but they hadn’t.

Ellie’s quest reminded him of the mistakes he’d made after Marisa had disappeared from his life. Marrying Shannon had been one of them. He hadn’t loved her the way he had Marisa, but he’d honestly believed they could make it work and raise a family.

Early on, it became clear he couldn’t get Marisa out of his head, and Shannon had reacted in anger. After a heated argument, she left and went home to Wyoming. She never called or asked about Ellie, which bothered him. He’d received divorce papers in the mail. Shannon didn’t want a thing and didn’t even ask for visitation rights. She’d severed all ties.

He should have taken Ellie and gone to Wyoming to talk things out. Once she saw Ellie, she might have changed her mind. He couldn’t do it, though. Shannon was as miserable as he was in the marriage, and staying together for Ellie’s sake wasn’t the solution. But he’d thought Shannon would make some effort to see Ellie. When she didn’t, he’d decided to raise his daughter alone.

Ellie was the best part of his life, and he didn’t want Marisa anywhere near her. That might be a little extreme, but it was the way he felt.

A familiar anger welled up in him. Seeing her, listening to her rekindled that pain of rejection, and he knew that he hadn’t learned to control his feelings for her.

And he didn’t know if he ever would.

AS MARISA DROVE, memories of Colter wrapped around her. In the early days, thoughts of him had been painful, but time had eased the pain and she could now think calmly about the past. Or some aspects of the past, she reminded herself. Not her baby…

She’d first seen him at the rodeo, then later at one of the parties given for the cowboys. She’d never met anyone like Colter, and without knowing how, she’d realized he was going to change her life.

He had made her feel so special, so alive, so much a woman, and when he’d asked her to marry him, she had happily agreed. They loved each other and nothing else seemed important. The stupidity of youth still astonished her. Why had she ever thought—?

She inhaled deeply, but it didn’t stop the memories. When her mother had returned home and found her gone, she’d called Stacy, who was then back in New York, and got the whole story—that Marisa had decided to stay in Nevada and was getting married. Announcing the news was like putting a match to gasoline, and the scenes that had followed were not pleasant. It had been the beginning of Marisa’s nightmare.

A sob left her throat and she forced herself to look at the directions in her hand. She turned off the highway onto a blacktop country road. As she did, she noticed the dark thunderclouds. A storm was brewing, as Cari had said, but she’d be back in Dallas before it broke. Dinner with her mother would be an ironic ending to the task ahead of her.

TULLEY CAME THROUGH the back door, removed his hat and folded himself into a chair opposite Colter. Jackson Tulley was like a father to him. Everything Colter knew about riding, Tulley had taught him. He’d been there for every win and every loss. He also understood every hurt and pain Colter suffered, because he suffered them, too.

Tulley and Colter’s father, James Kincaid, had been best friends, riding the rodeo circuit in their off time. James died when Colter was ten, and Tulley nurtured the boy’s rodeo interest with his mother’s approval. Looking back, Colter didn’t know what he would’ve done without Tulley in his life.

“You still brooding about seeing her today?” Tulley asked, watching Colter’s dark expression.

Colter tightened the hold on the cup. “I can’t get it out of my mind. I turned around and there she was. I couldn’t make myself walk away from her. I wanted to say so many things, but I’m not sure what I actually said. I just don’t know what she was doing there.”

Tulley ran one hand through his thinning gray hair. “Think about it, boy.”

Colter raised his head. “What?”

“Marisa Preston.”

“Yeah. What are you getting at?”

“Either you’re getting dense or you have a mental block.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Tulley?”

“Richard Preston, owner of Dalton’s Department Stores. Marisa Preston. There has to be a connection.”

“God, I never put it together.” Colter ran both hands over his face. “She said her father lived in Texas, but she never mentioned what he did.”

“Back then you two didn’t do much talking.”

Colter thought they had, but in reality Tulley was right. They had hardly known each other. He couldn’t understand why his memories of her were still so strong.

“So what are you going to do?”

“Nothing,” Colter replied. “She’s obviously working for her father now. What happened to the pianist career I don’t know, nor do I care. She’s not going to get her hooks into me again.”

Tulley’s eyebrows shot up. “Did she show any interest?”

“No, not really. She wanted to tell me something about the past and I didn’t want to hear it.” He ran his hands over his face again. “God, Tulley, why can’t I forget her? It’s been years and yet—”

“You know the answer to that.”

“Yeah.” Colter gazed out the window, his eyes matching the dark clouds gathering outside. “When I won at the finals in Vegas and she was there, I felt like king of the world. I spent a lot of my winnings on a ring, and when I got back to the motel room, she was gone. I hit the ground so hard, I’ve never recovered. No other woman ever made me feel like that. Not even Ellie’s birth dimmed it.”

Tulley just nodded. He’d heard the story before, and he cursed the young girl who had the power to hurt this man so much. Changing the subject seemed like the best thing to do.

“Becky got everything set for the stores in Austin?”

Colter took a long breath. “Yeah. She’s worked nonstop to get Kincaid Boots into more western stores.”

“That girl has a good head on her shoulders. Both girls do. You’ve done great with your sisters.”

Colter’s mother had died when he was eighteen and he’d become solely responsible for his two younger sisters, Jennifer and Rebecca. Tulley and his wife, Cora, had moved in with them and Cora had stayed with the girls while the men were on the circuit. But his sisters had always been level-headed and responsible and never given him any problems.

Becky and Jen had business degrees, and together they ran the Kincaid Boot Company. Colter put his expertise into the design of the boot, and Bart, Jen’s husband, who had a marketing degree, had turned Kincaid Boots into a thriving enterprise. Thanks to Becky’s drive, Jen’s management skills and Bart’s commercial savvy, a lot of western stores were carrying the Kincaid Boot. Accessories had recently been added.

Years ago they’d all lived in a small three-bedroom house, and when Colter had built this house he’d wanted it big, with enough room for everyone. But by then everyone was older and going off in different directions.

The girls were in college when Cora passed away. It had been a difficult time for all of them, but they’d had each other, and had adjusted. Jen was already dating Bart and soon married him. Becky lived in the house for a while, but then she became so involved in making Kincaid Boots a success that she was gone a lot. He’d encouraged her to rent an apartment in town because he didn’t want her to feel honor-bound to stay because of Ellie.

Ellie was his responsibility, and Becky deserved her own life. After many discussions, she finally rented a place not far from the Kincaid offices, but he still kept a room for her and Jen to use whenever they wanted to come home. It was just the three of them there now—Ellie, Tulley and him.

Colter took a sip of coffee. “I’m very proud of them. They’ve done wonders with Kincaid Boots. Of course, Bart helped a lot, too.”

“I think your name had a little something to do with it.”

“Yeah, but they did all the work.” He stared at his cup. “I was busy raising Ellie.”

There was silence for a second.

Tulley cleared his throat. “Jen will probably spend less and less time on the business now that she and Bart are expecting.”

“Jennifer’s always been a homebody, and if she wants to stay home with her baby, then I’m all for that. A baby needs a mother.”

Silence again.

“Dammit, Colt, boy,” Tulley said, reading his mind. “Shorty’s fine without a mother.” That was what he called Ellie—and had since the first day he held her.

“I don’t know. She has a dog that she insists talks to her and she writes all these letters to Santa. I’ve mailed four already this year. I’m at a loss as to how to deal with some of these problems.”

“She’s a little girl and she’ll outgrow them. All I see is a happy, imaginative child—and so should you.”

“Speaking of my child, where is she?”

“She’s at the corral looking at that new horse you bought.”

Colter jumped to his feet. “I don’t want her anywhere near that horse. He’s not broke.”

Tulley shook his head. “Lordy, boy, you’re jumpy. Give Ellie some credit. She knows not to get in a pen with an un-broke horse. We taught her better than that.”

Colter sank back into his chair with a groan. “I’m not thinking straight and I’m all keyed up.”

Before Tulley could answer, Ellie and Sooner came charging through the back door. Ellie rarely walked; she was always in a run, her ponytail bouncing. She slid onto Colter’s lap, and Colter held her tight, maybe a little too tight.

“That horse is real mean, Daddy,” she told him. “He’s pawing the ground, and Sooner growled at him. Sooner said he’s not scared of him, but I think he’s lying.”

Sooner barked.

“Yes, you are, Sooner,” Ellie said, and Colter closed his eyes briefly. He didn’t want to have another conversation about whether or not she could hear Sooner talk, not today. He had to get rid of this restless energy.

“Let’s go see just how mean that horse is.”

Ellie’s eyes grew big.

Tulley swallowed a curse word.

Colter got to his feet. “A good ride will calm him right down.”

“Have you noticed the weather?” Tulley asked. “There’s a storm coming and the temperature’s dropping fast. This is no time to be breaking a horse.”

“Getting soft?” Colter teased, but he knew he was about to do a stupid thing. It wouldn’t be the first time, he told himself, but if he could obliterate Marisa’s memory for those few minutes, it would be worth it.

COLTER HAD A RURAL ADDRESS, but it was easy to find. A couple of miles down the country road she came to a large brick entrance with a huge overhead sign in wrought-iron letters that read Circle K Ranch. She drove over the cattle guard onto a gravel road that led to a house.

Her eyes opened wide in appreciation of the scene that met her. The land was flat and a two-story brick colonial house nestled among huge oaks. Now bare, the trees stood proudly against the chilling wind, enhancing the beauty of the house with its white pillars and mullioned windows. Beyond the detached four-car garage were various barns, outbuildings and corrals, all neatly maintained. She couldn’t help thinking that even her mother would be impressed.

Parking on the circular drive, she took a steadying breath, then ran up the paved walk to the front door. The wind bit through her clothes; it had definitely grown colder. She pulled her cashmere coat tighter around her and rang the doorbell.

There was no answer, so she rang it again. Still no answer. She felt a deep sense of disappointment. It’d been difficult to make the trip at all, and now that she was here, she hated to leave without seeing him. But it seemed she had no choice. It was after four, anyway, and she needed to return to Dallas for the dinner party her father had planned.

As she left the circular drive, a movement from one of the corrals caught her eye. A small child sat perched atop a fence, and Marisa drove in that direction. She stopped some distance away, got out and ran over, hoping she might find Colter.

The child, huddled in a winter coat with the hood pulled over her head, was too engrossed in what was going on inside the corral to notice Marisa. Following the child’s gaze, she caught her breath at the sight of Colter astride a big red stallion.

The horse jumped and twisted, determined to dislodge his rider. Bending his head close to the ground, the horse struck out with his back legs, to no avail.

Marisa walked closer so she could see better. Too late, she realized her mistake. The child turned to look at her at the same time Colter did. As his concentration was diverted, the horse gave a wild kick that sent him flying against the fence.

Stunned, Marisa watched the horse run wild, his hooves threatening to trample Colter’s inert body lying in the dirt. Without thinking, she hitched her skirt high and climbed over the fence. Someone yelled, “Stay back! Stay back!” but she didn’t stop until she heard the sound of hooves close by.

She saw a man waving a rope above his head, trying to guide the horse into another pen. She felt a wave of panic as she realized she was in the corral with a wild horse. All those years ago, she’d been afraid of horses, that hadn’t changed. She held her breath as the horse thundered past her through a gate.

Her high heels hindered her progress over the loose dirt but nothing deterred her as she hurried to Colter’s side. When she reached him, the child called Ellie was already there, holding Colter’s head, crying, “Daddy, wake up! Please wake up.”

Marisa squatted beside them, her hand gently brushing the brown hair from his face. He was completely motionless, and her whole body felt a chill that had nothing to do with the weather.