Worlds Apart

Caution went to the winds. Whatever the cost, she thought recklessly, she couldn’t turn her back on this dream come true. Logan had to love her, even though he hadn’t actually used the word. How else could he contemplate marriage?

‘Yes,’ she breathed, not trying to keep her emotions in check any longer. ‘Yes, Logan, I’ll marry you. As soon as you like!’

He made no attempt to kiss her again, much as she wanted him to. His acknowledging nod was verging on the perfunctory. ‘Give me half an hour to return Ballantyne to the stables, and I’ll come and see your parents,’ he said. ‘Or better still, why don’t you come on back with me, then we can drive in together?’

It was all going too fast, much too fast, but Caryn wouldn’t allow herself pause for reflection. Logan was in charge all the way; that was how she wanted it. It was how she had always wanted it.

He put her up before him on the horse, the same way he had that other evening. Only this was different, so different, she thought blissfully, leaning against him. She could feel the strong beat of his heart through the two layers of clothing, the radiating body heat. The muscles of her inner thighs went into spasm at the memory of that other time. Such an age ago, but never forgotten. And soon to happen again, if Logan had his way. Only this time they would be man and wife.

Whitegates lay back from the coastal road. Built of mellow brick, and Georgian in design, the house was large and imposing, the formal gardens immediately surrounding it full of life and colour. The stables lay off to the rear, reached via a lane running alongside the property, with the seventy acres of privately owned land stretching beyond.

A youth came out to the yard to take the horse as Logan handed Caryn down from its back. She knew him by sight if not by name, and was aware that he recognised her too from the way he gaped at her.

‘You can talk to Mother while I get out of these things,’ said Logan, turning her back towards the house. ‘It won’t take me long.’

‘What do I say to her?’ Caryn asked, panicking at the very thought of facing the woman.

‘Just be yourself,’ he advised. ‘She won’t bite.’ He gave her a reassuring smile. ‘She wants this as much as I do.’

Neither of them more than she did herself, came the fervent thought as she looked up into the lean features. She belonged to this man, wholly and for ever. Time had no bearing. A day, a week, a year, even two yearsit was all the same.

They went in through a side door, passing along a corridor to emerge into a lofty hall panelled in oak. The staircase rose from the centre, branching off at the halfway point to galleried landings either side. Black and white tiles polished to a high but non-slippery sheen covered the floor.

Glancing around, Caryn felt intimidated by the obvious signs of wealth allied to superb good taste, conscious of her simple cotton trousers and shirt, her windblown hair. Even in jodhpurs and riding boots, Logan looked completely at home.

He crossed to double doors on the right and ushered her through to a room full of soft evening light. A beautiful room, full of antiques yet with a lived-in look that gave her fresh heart. Seated on a brocade sofa by the side of the white marble fireplace, Mrs Bannister welcomed the two of them with a smile that seemed wholly genuine.

‘I gather that congratulations are in order?’ she said to her son. To Caryn, she added, ‘Come and sit by me. We have to get to know one another.’

‘I’ll leave you to it, said Logan. ‘I’m going up to change.’

Stay, Caryn wanted to beg, but he was already closing the door in his wake. Feeling totally at a loss, she moved to do his mother’s bidding, perching on the very edge of her seat.

‘Do make yourself comfortable,’ the older woman invited. ‘I realise how difficult this must be for you, but I can assure you that I thoroughly approve my son’s choice.’

‘But you don’t even know me,’ Caryn pointed out bemusedly.

‘I know of you—and of your family. The Gregorys are very well respected.’ She paused as if to choose her words, eyes reflective as they dwelt on the face turned towards her. ‘You’re very young. The only question I would ask is, are you quite sure this is what you want?’

‘Oh, yes!’ Caryn could say that without hesitation. She gave a laugh. ‘I’m still reeling from the suddenness of it all, but it’s definitely what I want. What I always…’ She broke off, colouring and looking down at the hands clasped in her lap. ‘Logan said he’d told you… everything.’

‘Yes, he did. Two years ago. It was the only way he could make me understand why he had decided to accept his friend’s invitation to partner him in Australia.’ The tone was matter-of-fact. ‘It seemed the best thing at the time.’

Caryn said softly, ‘Because of me you lost your son for two years.’

‘Not wholly. I visited him. In any case, he and his father didn’t get along too well, so it was better for them both to be apart for a while.’ Her voice briskened. ‘That’s all in the past. We have the future to look to now. You’ll be prepared to live here at Whitegates after you’re married, I trust?’

‘Well, yes, of course.’ Caryn hadn’t got that far in her imaginings as yet, and could find no other answer.

‘You’ll have your own rooms, of course. The house is big enough to convert the upper east wing. Plenty of room for a nursery too.’

‘Nursery?’ Caryn’s head came up, eyes startled. ‘Isn’t that looking a bit far ahead?’

‘I hope not too far.’ The smile was still there, but slightly strained now, the grey eyes so like her son’s petitioning. ‘I’d give a great deal to see my grandchild before I die.’

‘Of course.’ Caryn could think of nothing else to say. She and Logan weren’t even married yet. If they were to grant his mother’s wish, they would have to move fast. She felt disconcerted by the request, even while she could appreciate the motives behind it. Everything was moving too fast.

She was relieved when Logan came back into the room. He had exchanged the jodhpurs for linen trousers and a fine cotton shirt in a pale green that enhanced his tan. Her heart jolted at the very sight of him. It just didn’t seem possible that he was to be her husband.

‘Ready?’ he said. ‘Let’s go and get it over with.’

For the first time Caryn allowed herself to consider the shock they were about to drop on her parents. How on earth did she make them understand?

‘It’s too soon,’ she heard herself saying apprehensively. ‘They never even met you before!’

‘They’ll adjust,’ Logan declared firmly. ‘They’ll have to adjust.’

‘Logan will take care of it,’ his mother assured her.

Caryn came to her feet with reluctance. Logan might, but she would still have to face her family after he had gone. They were going to be devastated, disbelieving. How could they be anything else in the circumstances?

‘I’ll see you again soon,’ said Mrs Bannister. She looked tired, her face pale. ‘Very soon.’

They were in the Mercedes and heading down the drive before Caryn found her tongue. ‘I think I’m going to wake up and find this is all a dream,’ she said, unsurprised to hear the quiver in her voice.

Logan looked amused. ‘Would you like me to pinch you to prove you’re awake? It’s real enough, I can assure you.’

She glanced at him sideways as he brought the car to a halt before turning out on to the road, viewing the clean-cut profile with an undeniable thrill of excitement. He moved the car out from the drive, and accelerated away, hands firm on the wheel. Good hands, thought Caryn, watching their movement; long and lean and knowledgeable, the nails neatly trimmed and cleanrimmed. If he was nervous, he certainly wasn’t revealing it. He looked totally at ease.

Sensing her scrutiny, he glanced her way with a brief smile. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’ll do the talking.’

It wasn’t a long journey. Caryn knew a wave of sheer panic when Logan brought the car to a halt at the front gate. She fought it down, but could feel herself trembling inside when she got out of the vehicle.

‘Bear up,’ said Logan softly, closing the door. He slid an arm about her shoulders and drew her close for a moment, his lips warm against her temple. ‘It will be all right, you’ll see.’

Eventually, perhaps, she thought, but it was the here and now that had to be got through first.

The front door was unlocked, the way it usually was during the day despite all the warnings. Susan Gregory came out from the living-room as Caryn closed the door again.

‘You’ve been a long…’ she began, breaking off abruptly on taking in Logan’s presence. Surprise gave way to confusion as her gaze moved from his face back to her daughter’s, then her natural good manners took over. ‘Mr Bannister, isn’t it? From Whitegates?’

‘That’s right,’ he returned easily. ‘And the name is Logan. I’m sorry to spring things on you this way, but better sooner than later.’

The confusion grew. ‘I don’t understand. What things?’

He indicated the room from which she had just emerged. ‘I think you and your husband should hear it together.’

Throat dry as a bone, Caryn felt his hand at her centre back ushering her ahead of him into the room in her mother’s wake. Her father looked at the newcomer in surprise, then questioningly at Caryn.

‘Is there something wrong?’ he asked.

Face registering little, Logan reached out an arm and drew Caryn to his side in a gesture unmistakably possessive. ‘Before anything else, we should tell you that we’re going to be married.’

The silence following that forthright announcement seemed to Caryn to stretch interminably. The two stunned faces gazing back at them looked to be carved from stone. John Gregory was the first to recover his power of speech.

‘Isn’t this a bit sudden?’ he asked on an amazingly mild note. ‘I know who you are, but I wasn’t aware that you and Caryn knew each other. Didn’t you just get back from Australia or somewhere?’

‘That’s right,’ Logan said again. ‘Only yesterday. I’ve waited two years. I wasn’t prepared to wait any longer. It would be nice to have your blessing.’

Nice, but by no means essential, his tone suggested— to Caryn at least. She kept her eyes fixed on her father’s face, neither caring nor daring to glance in her mother’s direction.

‘I know it has to be a shock for you both,’ she said huskily, thinking that that had to be the understatement of the year. ‘It was for me too. But it’s what I want. More than anything in the world!’

‘I don’t understand,’ said her mother blankly. ‘It doesn’t make any sense! You were just a schoolgirl two years ago!’

‘Which is why I went away when I did,’ put in Logan smoothly. ‘To give her time to grow up. Even if you’d been willing to grant approval then, which I very much doubt, I couldn’t have traded on a sixteen-year-old’s feelings. Fortunately, Caryn still feels the same way. We want to be together.’

‘Are you saying you were seeing each other while she was still in school?’ demanded Susan on a shocked note. ‘You must be nearly old enough to be her father!’

The dark head inclined, mouth wryly slanted. ‘Possible, if unlikely. Caryn was a very mature schoolgirl in a lot of ways. We shared a lot of interests.’

‘Michael Sinclair introduced us at a family party,’ said Caryn swiftly. ‘You remember Michael?’

‘Of course I remember Michael. You brought him to meet us.’ Susan’s voice had sharpened. ‘This is quite ridiculous!’

‘I think the two of you had better sit down,’ said John Gregory. ‘You too, Susan,’ he added to his wife. ‘We have to discuss this.’

‘There’s nothing very much to discuss,’ Logan returned. ‘Apart from wedding arrangements perhaps. It would probably be easier all round if we made it the register office rather than a church ceremony. Easier and quicker. Before the end of the month for preference.’

‘Now just wait a minute!’ Relatively calm up to now, the older man was beginning to sound agitated. ‘Everything else aside, what’s the rush? You haven’t been back five minutes!’

‘There’s a good reason,’ said Caryn, deciding it was time she put in a word. She glanced at Logan, taking his nod as recognition and approval of what she was about to impart. ‘Mrs Bannister doesn’t have long to live,’ she went on, trying to sound as matter-of-fact about it as the woman herself had been earlier. ‘She naturally wants to see Logan settled before she goes. The longer we wait, the weaker she’s going to become.’ She paused, looking from one parent to the other in an appeal for understanding. ‘I don’t want to wait either.’

‘I’m sorry about your mother,’ said Susan Gregory to Logan on a subdued note. ‘I heard she’d been ill, but I had no idea it was so bad.’

‘She’s accepted it,’ he returned levelly. ‘But you can appreciate that I’d want her to be as happy as possible while she’s still with us, and this will help.’

‘Does she already know about it?’

Caryn took it on herself to answer that question too. ‘Logan took me to see her before we came on here.’

‘It’s a wonder the shock didn’t kill her!’

‘She’s always known how I felt about Caryn,’ answered Logan without particular inflection. ‘I realise how you must both of you be feeling, and I’m sorry it has to be this way, but that’s the way it is. Caryn is happy about it. I’d like you to be too.’

The arm about Caryn’s shoulders increased pressure for a fleeting moment, then was removed. ‘I think the best thing is for me to leave now and give you all chance to talk in private. Tomorrow will be time enough to start discussing arrangements.’ To Caryn herself, he added on a softer note, ‘Come and see me off.’

She accompanied him wordlessly, reluctant to have him go so soon, even while she recognised the motive behind his departure. She had to face her family alone some time, so why prolong the agony?

‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said at the door. ‘You have to get to know your future home.’

‘I’m at work tomorrow,’ she reminded him, and saw his expression alter.

‘I’d forgotten about your job. Are you monthly or weekly salaried?’

‘Weekly,’ she acknowledged. ‘But—’

‘Then you only need give a week’s notice. I’d propose that we arrange the wedding for the twenty-ninth. That’s a week from Wednesday. I can only spare a few days for a honeymoon, but we can take a longer break later.’

Caryn’s head was reeling. He had it all planned. Every last detail! And why not? came the thought. Wasn’t it better to have a man who knew exactly what he wanted and did something about it than one who left everything to others? She had always known him for a forceful character; she wouldn’t want him any different. And hadn’t she been saying only yesterday that she found her job boring? Life as Logan’s wife would be infinitely more exciting!

‘I’ll hand my notice in first thing,’ she promised. She gave a sudden laugh. ‘It’s going to cause quite a furore when I tell them the reason!’

Logan smiled and shrugged. ‘A nine-day wonder. They’ll get over it.’ Bending his head, he placed a brief and unsatisfying kiss on her mouth, leaving her aching for more. ‘You’d better go on back and face the music,’ he said. ‘I’ll be here tomorrow evening.’

He was gone before she could protest, pulling the door closed behind him. Caryn stood for a moment or two gathering herself before returning to the living room. Nothing anyone could say or do was going to change her mind, she vowed. She would marry Logan come what may! As he had said, it was her life, her choice.

All the same, facing the two of them was one of the hardest things she had ever done in her life. Looking from one accusing face to another, she sought defence in a direct frontal attack.

‘I do know what I’m doing, and I’m of age to do it,’ she declared, ‘so please don’t try telling me any different. I was in love with Logan two years ago, and I am still.’

‘You were too young to be in love with anybody two years ago,’ said her mother flatly. ‘You were infatuated with an older man.’

‘Call it what you like,’ Caryn returned defiantly. ‘I know how I felt then, and I know how I feel now.’

‘And what about Bannister?’ asked her father without raising his voice. ‘Are you as sure of his feelings?’

‘Of course. Why else would he want to marry me?’

Susan made a helpless little gesture. ‘I still can’t take it all in. You never even mentioned his name before!’

Caryn felt the defiance crumble. She crossed swiftly to her mother and pressed a kiss on her cheek. ‘It’s going to be all right. It really is. I love him.’

‘A man nearly twice your age!’

‘I’d feel the same way whatever age he was.’ She tried to lighten the atmosphere with a joke. ‘And you have to admit, he’s an awfully good catch!’

‘There’s a great deal more to marriage than money,’ said her mother sharply, taking the remark at face value. ‘How do you know you can trust him? He had quite a reputation in the past.’

‘If he had, it’s in the past,’ Caryn responded, refusing to allow the intimation to bother her. ‘I’d be far more worried if he hadn’t already sown his wild oats, as the saying goes.’ She made an appealing gesture to her father. ‘I’m sorry for springing it on you this way, but please try to understand. I love Logan, I’m going to marry him, and I want you to be happy for me.’

‘If he cares enough for you,’ said John Gregory slowly, ‘he’ll be prepared to wait a while.’

‘Regardless of his mother’s condition?’ Caryn shook her head. ‘It wouldn’t make any difference, anyway.’ She paused, looking from one to the other of her parents. ‘You won’t refuse to have anything to do with the wedding, will you?’

‘Meaning you’ll be going ahead with it whether we do or not.’ Her father’s tone was wry. ‘No, we won’t refuse. How could we turn our backs on our own daughter?’

‘Thanks.’ Caryn hardly knew what else to say. ‘I think I’ll have another early night,’ she tagged on, anxious to escape any further discussion. ‘I’ll be giving in my notice tomorrow, by the way. Logan doesn’t want a working wife.’

She made her escape before any comment could be made, and went straight upstairs to her room, sitting down on the end of bed to contemplate her reflection in the dressing-table mirror. Love not only made the world go round, it also improved one’s looks, she decided, viewing her bright eyes and glowing skin. Confidence, that was the key. With Logan to inspire it in her, she could handle any situation that came along.

CHAPTER THREE

ON THE face of it, the wedding went off without a hitch. Susan would have preferred that it take place in church, but with no dates available until well into August, Logan had refused to wait.

He had made the arrangements himself, and insisted on paying the bills. With personal savings at a low ebb, and an utter dread of being in any kind of debt, John Gregory had been forced to pocket his pride and let matters take their course.

Despite every precaution, news of the impending nuptials had spread through the town like greased lightening. Emerging from the register office to find a whole crowd of well-wishers hanging around the doorstep, Caryn put on a brave face and tried to ignore the fact that most of them were here out of curiosity alone, not through any genuine interest.

Apart from Jane, she had invited no one outside her own immediate family. Logan, however, had extended his list to include several friends. It had been quite a shock to see Margot and Duncan Ashley among them, although the former appeared happy enough to be there. Wearing apricot silk, she outshone every other woman in the place—including the bride herself in Caryn’s own estimation.

In place of a formal reception, they were to eat a buffet luncheon out at Whitegates. Later, she and Logan would leave for the Cotswolds, where they were to spend what she knew would be an idyllic few days at a small but exclusive country hotel he knew of. Caryn could well understand his reluctance to leave his mother alone for any longer time under the circumstances. Less than a year, the medics had said, but that could mean more or less any time.

‘Happy?’ he asked, when they gained the comparative privacy of the hired limousine at last.

‘Totally,’ she said, closing her mind on the image of her parents standing there so forlornly on the pavement. They were to follow on in one of the other cars.

‘They’ll get used to it,’ Logan advised, taking an accurate guess at her thoughts as her face clouded a little. ‘It isn’t as if you’re going to be far away.’

Caryn summoned a smile, a shake of her head. ‘I know.’ She looked out through the windscreen at the sunlit streets, feeling a swelling sense of wellbeing. ‘I hope this weather keeps up—for the next few days at least.’

Logan’s smile was slow. ‘I dare say we can find ways to entertain ourselves even if it doesn’t.’

The very thought of what was to come doubled her pulse-rate. There had been no opportunity over the past few days to indulge that desire they both so obviously shared, nor would she have wanted to do so. What she wanted was a wedding-night to remember—the first time of sharing a bed with the man she loved. It had been a wonderful experience two years ago, but tonight would be better still. Tonight there would be no shattering comedown, no heartbreak to be gone through. Tonight, and all the other nights to come, Logan would make love to her as her husband. They would be together for all time.

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