Return to Love

“That wasn’t your fault.” No one deserved the treatment Lori’s ex dished out. Anger boiled in Gracie’s stomach at the thought of someone cheating on her best friend. “Jason wasn’t the right guy.”

“Maybe Carter wasn’t, either.”

Gracie’s hands stilled on the containers. She’d never thought of it that way, only considered herself a victim of her best friend’s betrayal. What if Lori was right, and everything that happened between her and Carter was for a reason? Maybe they weren’t supposed to ever be more than what they were.

She shook her head. Too much to process for now. “I need to go talk to Andy about that fund-raising idea.”

“I’ll finish up here.” Lori opened a box to check its contents and her eyes lit up. “Ohhh, look—a stray slice of pepperoni.”

“I don’t know how you stay so thin.”

“It’s all the energy I exert getting excited about food.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down before shoving half the pizza in her mouth.

Gracie walked around the edge of the counter and snatched a pepperoni off the other end of the slice in Lori’s hands. “Wish me luck.”

“You’re lucky I’m not fighting you for that pepperoni.”

“Your support is overwhelming.”

“I’m just kidding.” Lori swallowed her mouthful of food. “Andy will be glad to help, you’ll see. Go for it.”

Gracie wiped her hands on her back pockets and looked toward the pastor, who was throwing a Frisbee with a couple of youth and laughing as it sailed over their heads. Hopefully Andy would see the cause of the gala as worthy as she did, and would be willing to let the youth group help her out—she couldn’t pay them but she could offer them an amazing backstage tour of the aquarium. Of course it still didn’t solve her problem about not having a band, but one issue at a time. If the teenagers would pitch in with advertising and raising funds for the short-changed budget, she might be able to make this work after all.

Tawny breezed up to the counter, bumping into Gracie’s shoulder, and grabbed a two-liter of Diet Coke. “Did you see the way Carter looked at me earlier?” Her words gushed faster than the liquid pouring into her plastic cup. “I so have a chance with him.”

Lori coughed and mumbled something unintelligible around her pizza.

Gracie swallowed the words tightening the back of her throat and forced a smile. “Oh, really?” Maybe if she didn’t look Tawny in the eye, the gorgeous brunette wouldn’t notice how her heart had fallen like a deadweight in her stomach. It was no surprise. Tawny represented a slightly more mature and filled-out version of the girls in high school Carter had never been able to resist.

The memories churned faster than her stomach. Gracie pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to ward off the details playing in vivid Technicolor of the night Carter broke her heart. A flash of green from her cashmere sweater, the neon lights from the disco ball hanging from the ceiling of the quarterback’s basement, stacks of blue cups and pink punch and gold class rings. Watching Carter—her date to his senior party—press a varsity cheerleader into the corner of the wall with a kiss. She’d approached him, hurt covered in anger’s thin disguise, until another girl’s catty voice stopped her midpursuit.

“You know you’re not his real date, right?”

The lights from the disco ball seemed to spin faster as Carter turned away from the cheerleader and caught Gracie’s eye across the room. He mouthed her name and she stared, not wanting to hear the rest of the girl’s explanation but unable to move.

The tipsy blonde continued, her words slurred but unforgettable. “He made a bet you wouldn’t come with him. Not Ms. Goody-Goody Church Girl.” She snorted and beer splashed from the edge of her glass. “Guess you’re not very different from us after all, huh?”

The impact of the girl’s words hit Gracie about the same time as the football player stumbling into her side. She caught her balance on the staircase banister and tried to ignore the lewd gaze he raked over her. “Whoa, I should have bet Carter more than a hundred bucks. You’re worth at least one fifty.” He leered. “Think he’ll mind sharing?”

He reached for her, but Gracie shoved away and pounded up the stairs, the taunts and catcalls of the party ringing in her ears as she made her escape—Carter’s laugh echoing the loudest of all.

“It’s just a matter of time until he asks me out.” Tawny’s voice jerked Gracie from her unwanted instant replay of the past. “Hey, you all right? You look a little red.”

Gracie blinked and realized her hands were clenched into fists. She drew a deep breath, willing the emotion to ease from her throat and avoided Lori’s look of concern. She straightened her shoulders. “Never better.”

She had a job to do—get Andy on board for the aquarium gala. The past would have to stay behind her.

And so would Carter Alexander.

Carter leaned against the wall under the basketball hoop and swallowed his last bite of cheese pizza. At a table in front of him, three high school boys wearing backward baseball caps and T-shirts laughed as they tried to see who could sink a napkin in a cup of soda first. Beside them, two older kids with multiple tattoos lining their arms finished off their dinner while discussing the youth group’s limited options of dating material.

“The blonde with the braids is pretty hot.” The teen with the spiky hair glanced over his shoulder toward a crowd of laughing students.

The second boy scoffed, his eyebrow ring shining under the fluorescent gymnasium lights. “That’s Jeremy’s girl. Everyone knows that.”

“I’m not afraid of him.” But Spiky Hair’s eyes darted to the large football player and back. “Whatever. What about Jay-Lynn?”

“Parents won’t let her date ’til she’s sixteen. Got six more months.”

“Bummer.”

“Yeah, it stinks. Almost as much as the music tonight.”

Carter straightened from his position on the wall. These guys didn’t enjoy his songs? He edged a step closer.

Spiky Hair seemed just as shocked. “What do you mean, man? You don’t like Carter’s stuff?”

“I don’t see why he had to give up the good music. This new stuff is boring. He could have been a mega star.” The kid with the piercing shrugged. “I just don’t get it.”

Disappointment crowded the pizza in Carter’s stomach. Should he approach the boys and try to explain his decision, or let it go?

The choice was made for him when they both abruptly stood with their trash. “Let’s see if that Bruce Willis movie is still playing at the theater.”

“Sounds good to me.” The boys moved toward the trash cans.

Carter watched them wave goodbye to Andy and slip out the side doors. A late movie, in the middle of the week? It was a school night. Things sure had changed from when he was a teenager. His parents would have never let him out after the youth service, even after he had his driver’s license. Maybe these boy’s parents didn’t know where they were—or didn’t care.

He shook off the melancholy as he glanced around the gym. Several of the kids were still eating, and a few kicked a hacky sack around in the back of the room. Did the rest of them feel the same way about his music as Spiky Hair and Eyebrow Ring? He’d hoped they’d see past the sacrificed fame and into the heart of who he’d become. It seemed as though Gracie had missed that particular message, as well.

Maybe he could hang around awhile longer, bum with Andy and try to get more involved with the youth group. He didn’t want his concert to be a waste. What if God had more for him at L’Eglise de Grace than he realized? It was definitely something to consider.

He crumpled the napkin he’d used as a plate in one fist and headed toward Andy, who had his back turned talking to—Gracie? Carter’s steps slowed. He didn’t want to interrupt. From the look on Gracie’s face the subject was serious. But then again, how serious could it be if Haley and Jeremy were at the other end of the table? He slid into the chair next to Andy, across from Gracie, and smiled.

Gracie’s blue eyes flitted briefly to his and then back to Andy. Dismissed. He ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach.

“Hey, man, get enough pizza?” Andy slapped Carter a high five.

“Is there such a concept?”

“Good point.” Andy held up one finger. “Sorry, Gracie, you were saying about a fund-raiser?”

“I just think it could be really beneficial for everyone—the penguins, the kids and me—if the youth group got involved. You’re always searching for a community project for them to participate in.” Gracie licked her lips and Carter fought the urge to swipe a smear of pizza sauce from the corner of her mouth.

If they’d still been in high school, he wouldn’t have hesitated. Probably would have licked his own finger and rubbed it right across her chin, just to get her girlie, disgusted reaction.

The difference was, in school he wouldn’t have been tempted to kiss those same lips. Now, it was all he could think about. It’s not your place anymore—you missed that chance. He shifted positions in the metal folding chair and tried to focus on Andy’s words.

“Sounds fine to me, Gracie. I think a project would be great for them right now. Some of the youth seem a little restless. They need a goal, and what could be a worthier cause?” Andy tapped his fingers on the table. “You just tell me what you need, and I’ll make sure we get volunteers ASAP.”

“Thanks!” Gracie’s eyes lit and she leaned forward against the table. “This is such a relief. You have no—”

“I’ll help, too.” The words flew from Carter’s mouth before he could fully process them.

“You?” Gracie’s brow furrowed. “But don’t you have to get back home?”

Hadn’t he just thought about talking to Andy about staying in town longer? What better opportunity to be a positive influence to the youth group than working side by side with them on a common goal—and if that same goal brought him closer to Gracie…Besides, maybe if he stuck around, he could dissuade Gracie from naming the wing after his father.

Carter smiled. “I’d be happy to. That is, if Andy doesn’t mind having a roommate for a while longer.”

“No way, man, that’d be awesome. It’s a plan.” Andy slapped both hands on the table. “Now we just need a sign-up sheet.”

“A plan,” Gracie echoed as she stood. “Right.”

Carter ignored the dismay dripping from her voice. It stung a little now, but after she spent more time around the new Carter, she’d warm up to the idea—and hopefully to him.

Chapter Six

“It’s been almost a week since the band cancelled.” Gracie fought the urge to bang her forehead against the Royal Blend Café’s wooden table. Instead, she propped her chin on her hand and rubbed her pulsing temples. “We can’t have a gala without music. We don’t want awkward silences.”

She thought gaining the support of the youth group and Andy would make her less stressed, maybe provide enough relief to focus on the positive and temporarily forget the fact that she had no band or even the hope of one. But her wishful thinking was about as much help as her penguins at cleaning time—zero.

“Are you sure you called everyone?” Lori pinched off a piece of apple-walnut bread from the plate between them. “Surely someone is available in this city.”

“They’re not. Trust me.” What was she going to do? She gazed out the side window overlooking a cozy little courtyard and fought a wave of jealousy. Patrons sipped coffee and shared pastries, talking over tabletops and buttoning their sweaters as a gust of wind threatened the napkins under their treats. Happy people, full of cappuccino and chocolate, people without the weight of an entire penguin colony on their shoulders—or the burden of an unwanted blast from the past with a certain ex-best friend.

She shifted her gaze back to Lori. “I called everyone listed in the phone book and the online directory. I even started to call the local school’s marching band.” She stared at the moist bread Lori enjoyed, wishing she had an appetite. Anxiety twisted her stomach in a knot that had yet to unravel. “Apparently December is a busy month if you know how to sing or play an instrument.”

“I took harmonica lessons once.” Lori popped a piece of bread in her mouth. “But I couldn’t figure it out. Kept spitting.”

Her headache intensified. “Are you kidding me? I’m having a crisis, and you’re strolling down Awkward Memory Avenue.”

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