Hero At Large

Rennie was so caught up in her thoughts, she forgot Sarita’s instructions. Not sure which of the identical doors led to the club, Rennie exited through the first one she came to.

“Oops,” she exclaimed as three men immediately whirled around. “Sorry, I think I’m lost—”

Somewhere in her subconscious, Rennie knew her mouth had stopped forming words and her lower lip was hanging lamely, but she was powerless to do anything about it.

Rennie had been hit by a wave of recognition so strong, it forced her backward several steps. Blinking rapidly, she tried to pull herself together, struggling to catch her breath. Had that one margarita given her hallucinations? It just couldn’t be….

“Gray? Is that you?” she whispered.

Chapter 2

“Rennie…” In the split second it took for Gray to register her presence, several emotions jolted through him like bolts of lightning.

Some of the sensations he was feeling were reflected in her eyes, like the surprise and excitement, the regret…and especially the pain. The sight of her brought an immediate and stabbing ache ten times more intense than what he’d felt each time he’d thought of her over the years.

But one emotion was entirely his own, and it took precedence over all the others. That emotion was raw, undiluted fear.

It kept him rooted to the spot, staring and shaking his head, until someone cleared a throat behind them, launching him into action. He pulled her to him in a brief embrace, and in one motion spun her around to face the door. Taking her elbow, he led her to the corridor. “Now that you know what’s behind door number one, let’s try door number two.”

They were both silent as he guided her to the main room of the club. To avoid losing her in the crowd, he took her hand and pulled her toward a roped-off staircase. “The VIP section of the club is upstairs. It’s much less crowded there.”

Gray didn’t just want to get her to a quiet corner where they could talk, he wanted to get her as far away from the gun shipment as possible. It made him crazy to think about how close she’d come to seeing something she shouldn’t have back there.

He still didn’t know how to process her sudden appearance. When he’d come back to L.A., he hadn’t believed for a second that he might run into Rennie. When she left him to go to college in Texas, he’d been certain she wasn’t coming back.

This was the last place he would have chosen for their reunion.

Gray led her to the bar, releasing her hand, which had been trembling in his. Clearly, she was as nervous at this unexpected meeting as he was. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Just water.”

While he gave her order to Franco, in the mirror he saw her run a self-conscious hand over the back of her hair.

Rennie had nothing to worry about. She looked perfect. As a teenager, she’d been pretty, with lots of potential. As an adult, she was heart-stopping. Especially in that short, clingy little dress she was wearing.

After he handed her the glass, Gray motioned her to a quiet corner table. Once she was seated across from him, she gulped her water, as if to avoid being the first to speak.

He smiled at her, trying to put her at ease. “It’s good to see you.”

She nodded. “Yes, it is. I mean it’s good for me to see you. That is, good to see you, too.”

He couldn’t help laughing out loud. “Yes, I knew what you meant.”

“This is so strange. I was just talking about you to a couple of my girlfriends.”

“Did you come with them tonight?” It hadn’t occurred to him until that moment that she might have come with a date. His eyes darted to her left hand. No wedding band.

“Yes, I did. We’re having a sort of…girls’ night out…thing.”

Gray felt a smile curling his lips again. He’d never seen her this frazzled before. He made another attempt to get her to lighten up. “Are you sure that water isn’t going to your head? Maybe I should have the bartender cut you off for the night. Or maybe you need something stronger. Relax,” he said, touching the back of her hand.

She pulled back as though he’d burned her, then tried to cover her reaction by grabbing her water glass and draining it as if it were a fifth of Scotch. “I know you must think I’m wound too tight, but I wasn’t prepared to see you here. It’s kind of spooky, really. Because, like I said, I was just talking about you. It’s as if you walked right out of my thoughts.”

“You were just talking about me, huh? What did you say?”

She shrugged and then began looking around as though she couldn’t get enough of the blue velvet upholstery, marble floors or scenic ocean tapestries. Clearly she wanted to change the subject.

He opened his mouth to ask her if she’d moved to the city or was just visiting when she turned to him.

“So, how was prison? I mean, how have you been?”

Gray flinched before he could stop himself. He didn’t know who had told her, and it really didn’t matter. The bottom line was that…she knew.

“I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say. I don’t know why I blurted that out like that.”

He felt his whole body go cold, and he welcomed the numbness that came with it. Gray raised his gaze to hers. Neither her stunned expression nor the hint of a blush on her mahogany cheeks fazed him. Sure, she hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but he knew exactly what she saw when she looked at him—an overgrown thug and an ex-convict.

The fact that he’d been to prison must have been on her mind the entire time. For all he knew, she’d been acting so rattled out of fear instead of nerves.

His mind replayed the image of her flinching when he’d touched her.

“Don’t apologize. I know why you said it. You want me to tell you it isn’t true, right?”

She seemed to be holding her breath. “Is it?”

“Sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart. It’s true.”

Rennie chewed on her lower lip. “What happened?”

He laughed. “Well, it was a weapons charge. You see, the police found two hundred Russian assault rifles in my possession, and they just wouldn’t accept ‘I’m a collector’ for an explanation.” He ended with a sarcastic chuckle.

“I don’t think it’s funny.”

“Really, you don’t? Gee, that’s odd, because I thought getting arrested was funny. And getting convicted—that was hilarious. And I thought I would die laughing when they sent me to—”

“That’s enough. You don’t have to make fun of me.”

Gray knew he was being cruel, but he couldn’t stop himself. It surprised him how much resentment he felt toward her at that moment.

Of all the clubs in L.A., why did she have to pick this one? If she’d stayed in Texas, she might never have known if he were dead or alive, but that would still be better than returning to find her worst fears confirmed.

Gray could see her disappointment. Before she left she’d told him how much she believed in him. She was getting out of the inner city, and she’d been certain that he would, too. Instead, she found just the opposite. If she stuck around long enough, she’d discover he’d given an old adage new meaning—if you can’t beat ’em, take over.

“I guess a lot has happened since the last time we saw each other,” she said.

Gray expelled a harsh laugh. “You can say that again.”

Rennie stared at her hands. They were trembling slightly.

Instantly, he felt terrible for upsetting her. None of this was her fault. He couldn’t say anything to change her mind about him. Lying to her was surprisingly easy, but it was killing him that he had to.

He forced himself to get a grip on his temper, taking a moment to study her. Her hair was short now. She’d traded in the ponytails and French braids he remembered for a slick, trendy cut that flattered her gamine features.

“You look beautiful…and successful,” he said, noticing the diamond studs sparkling in her ears. He was glad she’d moved up in the world, but part of him still wished she hadn’t had to leave him to do it. “What have you been doing with yourself?”

“I’m a psychologist.”

“Perfect. I bet you have your own office where the rich and pampered of Beverly Hills make weekly appointments to whine about their overindulgent mothers and their cold, stern fathers.” Despite his best effort, he couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his voice. Things were going from bad to worse.

Rennie’s lips twisted at his mockery. “Well, you’re right about one thing. Only one thing. I do have my own practice. But it’s in downtown L.A., not Beverly Hills. I work at the Help Center. I counsel women who have been battered or abused.”

Gray opened his mouth to respond, but Rennie cut him off. “So what about you? You’re what? A bouncer here?” Her tone was imperious.

“That’s right. You know there aren’t a whole lot of options for an ex-con.”

Rennie stood from the table. “My friends are probably worried by now. I’d better get back to them. Uh, it was…nice seeing you again.”

“No, it wasn’t.” He stood, too. “Not as nice as it should have been. But, like you said, a lot has happened since we last saw each other, Rainbow,” he said, using his old nickname for her.

He could tell he’d caught her off guard. The change in her demeanor was immediate. The line of her lips softened, and her eyes became dewy.

In that split second, they were transported back to a time where only the two of them existed. Before she had a chance to recover, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. He needed to be close to her for just a moment. He had to have a memory to carry with him.

“You take care of yourself,” he said, pulling back.

She nodded and bolted down the stairs and, most likely, out of his life.

After Rennie left, Gray stayed behind trying to make some sense out of what had just happened.

Franco walked over and sat down across from him. “Hey, G, what’s up with TK? You cutting him in?”

Gray looked up slowly. He hadn’t been expecting to hear that name for a while. “What do you mean? He’s in prison.”

“Not any more.” Franco grinned. “Los says a key witness just…disappeared.” He snapped his fingers to demonstrate. “They had to let him out.”

Gray felt his lips tighten. Once upon a time, TK had been their gang leader. “Where have you seen him?”

Franco shrugged. “He’s come around a few times. I thought he would have caught up to you by now.”

“Is he looking for me?” It was clear that TK had been avoiding him. That could only mean trouble.

Franco sobered, finally realizing that Gray wasn’t as thrilled with the news as he’d expected. “I don’t know, but he knows we’re all working here with you. So, you gonna cut him a piece of the action, or not?”

“We’ll see. If you run into him again, tell him I want to talk to him.”

Franco nodded. “I’m going on my break. Later.”

After Franco left, Gray swore under his breath. It wasn’t hard to imagine what was going through TK’s mind right now. He’d always had grandiose dreams about the money and power they were all going to have, but he’d never been able to make it happen. He was sloppy and he’d kept getting caught. Once TK had started going in and out of prison, the gang had fallen apart. Now it seemed Gray had stepped into his shoes and taken over his dreams—and he was succeeding.

Gray knew TK wouldn’t appreciate having to be cut in on his old territory. When Gray came back to L.A., he’d heard TK was up on murder charges, tied up in a trial that should have dragged on for months. Gray hadn’t expected to have to deal with TK at all.

Back in the day, Gray and TK had never agreed on anything. If TK did want a piece of their operation, it wouldn’t be long before he tried to run things again. Gray couldn’t let that happen. There were too many other forces at work here.

Still, he couldn’t quite leave TK out in the cold. His men wouldn’t understand. It didn’t even matter that their old gang no longer existed in its original form. They would always be bound together by the old codes and traditions.

Dealing with TK was going to be tricky. Now that he was out of prison, he’d expect things to go back to the way they were when they were all banging. It would be useless to try to convince him that those days were over.

After all, everyone knew that the only way out of a gang was to die out.

Chapter 3

Gray awoke the next morning to the persistent ringing of his doorbell. Cursing as he dragged on his jeans, he hopped to the door and shouted, “Who is it?”

“Overnight Express.”

Gray rolled his eyes and jerked the door open.

On the surface, nothing seemed out of the ordinary about the dark-haired package carrier dressed in the standard polo-shirt-and-shorts uniform. The man narrowed his green eyes, squinting at the envelope in his hand. “I’ve got a delivery here for Kee…Keesh—”

Gray snatched the envelope out of his hands. “Shut up and get in here.” Glaring at his partner and longtime friend Seth Greene, he tugged on the thread unsealing the letter. “I don’t suppose you could have waited until a decent hour?”

Seth made himself at home on Gray’s sofa, propping his feet on the coffee table. “Ten o’clock is a decent hour for most people.”

“Maybe, but you know I had to work at the club until three last night.”

“Anything interesting happen?” Seth rested a throw pillow behind his head.

Gray dropped the envelope without looking at the contents, shoving Seth’s feet down from the coffee table. Oh, yeah, something very interesting happened. Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with his assignment.

There was no point in telling Seth about Rennie, though she’d been on his mind constantly since he’d laid eyes on her last night. It didn’t matter, because he wouldn’t be seeing her again.

“Actually, there is something that you should probably check into. TK, the guy who ran the gang I used to hang with, has turned up. I haven’t seen him myself, but it’s only a matter of time.”

“What’s his story?” Seth propped his feet back on the table. “He heard you were back in town and wants in on the action?”

Gray shook his head. “I’m not sure yet what he wants. But it’s a safe bet that he’s not going to like the fact that I’m sort of in control now.”

“So you think he’s going to make trouble? Maybe even try to take over,” Seth concluded.

“No doubt.” Gray propped himself on the arm of the sofa.

“I’ll see what I can get on him.”

“That shouldn’t be too difficult. He was just up on murder charges. I don’t know the details, but the witness has apparently disappeared. It’s a safe bet that you’ll find TK behind it.”

“Got it. In the meantime—” Seth picked up the envelope he’d brought Gray “—here’s the list of names you need. These are all the major players. Seems things are going well. Your name is spinning in all the right circles. The word on the street is that you’re the man to see if you want to get into the drugs and weapons game in L.A.”

“Gee, wouldn’t Mom be proud.”

Seth scowled at him. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing.” Gray took the paperwork and shoved Seth’s feet off the table one final time. “I’ll look over these names just as soon as you leave.”

Seth stood and Gray followed him to the door. “Who are you kidding, Gray? You’re not getting ready to get to work on anything but a mattress and a pillow.”

Gray clapped Seth on the back, partially as a friendly gesture of farewell and partially to urge him to the door faster. “Where in the secret spy handbook does it say that a good agent is sleep deprived?”

Seth grinned. “Right under the paragraph where it says all uniforms worn in the line of duty will be itchy and at least one size too small.” He tugged irritably at his collar.

After Seth left, Gray considered going back to sleep, but he was entirely too restless to relax. He went into his bedroom and spread the contents of the envelope across his desk. There were pictures and bios of all the major drug lords in L.A. Several of them, Gray had already had dealings with.

Eventually, the connections Gray was making would lead him to SPEAR’s nemesis. They’d been tracking him for some time and were making slow but steady progress. They knew the traitor was going by the name Simon. Other agents had connected him to both the Brotherhood of Blood, a hate group in Idaho, and to terrorists in the Middle East. Most recently, a SPEAR operative encountered Simon in the flesh, giving them a face to go with the name.

Gray’s mission wasn’t simple, but he hoped to dispose of Simon once and for all. He couldn’t let Jonah down.

Jonah was the head of SPEAR and had been for as long as anyone could remember. Only no one had ever gotten the chance to look Jonah in the eye. To most SPEAR agents, he was a voice and a reputation.

But when he gave orders, no one dared question them.

Now that Gray had made a name for himself in the L.A. drug trade, it wouldn’t be long before Simon came to him.

Gray pulled out his laptop and connected it to a secured cable modem. He logged onto the SPEAR ISP, intending to send e-mail inquiries regarding his new contact list. Instead he found himself typing the name Rennie Williams into an encrypted search engine. In all the years he’d been an agent, he’d always managed to resist the urge to check into Rennie’s whereabouts. He’d squashed that compulsion by reminding himself that he was better off not knowing any details.

But now that he’d seen her face to face and looked into those soft brown eyes, he had to know the full story. She was a psychologist. That didn’t surprise him. She’d always had a huge heart and a deep concern for others.

In less than ten seconds, Gray had a full-page printout on Rennie. He stared at the sheet of paper, then crumpled it up and threw it in the wastebasket.

What was he doing? He couldn’t see her again. Especially not now. In her mind he was a criminal. A former gang member who had lived up to all of society’s expectations for him. He’d moved from a life of street violence to the ever-popular country club of crime, the state penitentiary.

She had no idea that her leaving him was probably the only thing that saved him from that inevitable reality. Rennie couldn’t know that she’d inspired him to escape, as well, to flee their destitute neighborhood of hopelessness and poverty just the way she had.

When Rennie left for school, he’d been bitter. Hadn’t she trusted him? Hadn’t she believed him when he’d promised to find a way out for both of them? Gray had asked himself those questions time and again. But the feelings of hurt and anger hadn’t lasted. Once they’d faded, Gray had been left with an almost desperate desire to prove that he could get out, too.

Soon after Rennie left, Gray’s mother had been taken by the cancer that had been eating away at her life and spirit for almost a decade. He had no more ties in the neighborhood. He no longer had an excuse for staying with the gang. After a couple of months of aimless wandering, he joined the United States Marines.

That move changed his life forever. He’d shown a natural talent for most things he’d tried. And it wasn’t long before his intelligence and skills had gotten him noticed by an exclusive, invisible government agency, SPEAR. He passed their rigorous testing process and was recruited.

He was a secret agent with boyhood images of fighting terrorists and busting up political conspiracies. Only Gray’s first assignment had sent him right back to the streets of south central L.A.

He jumped right into the middle of an illegal arms dealing operation, got the authorities all the information they needed and then was publicly arrested right along with the others. He spent two weeks in jail to solidify his cover and then was shipped off to his next assignment.

But those two weeks in jail changed him like no other life experience could. The world he became privy to in that short time made him all the more determined to keep fighting what seemed to be a never-ending war against crime. It chilled him to his soul, because if it weren’t for the grace of God, he might have filled those shoes in reality. The fact that he was inside for the good guys made that truth all the more poignant.

Growing up, he’d heard all the speeches from the ministers and do-gooders in the community. They especially loved the sound bite that black men in the inner city were an endangered species. In danger of succumbing to gangs, crime, violence, prison and ultimately death because society didn’t have enough good role models for the urban black male.

That line never meant much to Gray until he went to prison, but then he got a close look at what society had discarded. Men who’d never had any hope or belief that they could be anything more than what they were. And in just two weeks’ time, even though he was in jail under pretense, he began to get sucked into that world of hopelessness. He’d felt the black hand of despair reaching out to him. It had had him by the collar and would have had him by the throat if he hadn’t been transferred so quickly.

Even though his next assignment had him drinking champagne at political dinners as an African diplomat trying to smooth over a potential international incident, he never forgot what it felt like to be in prison. It was a lesson he used daily to remind himself that there was no room in his life for screwups.

When Rennie left L.A. nine years ago, the chances of her returning permanently had been slim at best. But after receiving her Ph.D. in psychology, Rennie surprised herself by turning down a teaching position at the University of Texas for an opportunity to set up her own practice. And it just happened to be six blocks from her old neighborhood.

The Los Angeles Help Center was a three-story apartment building that had been turned over to the community. Inside were offices offering a variety of social services, including family planning, addiction and crisis counseling and Rennie’s women’s counseling practice. The Help Center attracted some difficult clients, but during the past year, she’d found the work truly rewarding.

Rennie sank further into her wing chair as Sarita and the other women in her counseling session argued. The clock on the far wall read twenty past four. She should have broken up this heated disagreement a long time ago, but she’d been a bit distracted today.

“I don’t care what you say,” Sarita said. “Farah is not breaking up with Will. She’s just taking time to figure out what she wants.”

Jackie crossed her heavy arms over her substantial bosom. “Will is history. Get used to it. Now that Farah knows her daughter Lily is having Will’s baby, there’s no way she’s going to take him back.” Even under the best circumstances, Jackie didn’t have a forgiving nature. This was probably the reason men feared her.

“Well, I think it’s about time she got rid of that bum,” Moni said. “Everyone can see that Brock is in love with Farah. Once he recovers from his liver transplant, he’s going to tell her how he feels.” Moni had always believed that love conquered all, which explained why she focused her energy on keeping a man instead of keeping a job.

“Good luck,” Carla said, ever the pessimist. “I’ll bet you an entire case of snack cakes that Brock is dead before the end of the week.”

“Okay, okay.” Rennie held up two fingers. “That’s enough commentary on ‘To Love and to Cherish.’ Doesn’t anyone have any real issues to discuss today?”

Rennie let her gaze rest on each of the four women in turn. Silence. “What about you, Carla? What’s on your mind?”

Instead of harping on her good-for-nothing husband, as expected, the petite blonde looked at the soda can in her hand. “If you want to know the truth, I really wish you’d keep more diet soda in the refrigerator. This is the second week in a row that I’ve had to drink regular.”

Rennie resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Carla, I’ve told you before that you’re free to bring whatever you want to keep in the fridge. I could go broke trying to cater to everyone’s snacking preferences. That said, I think there’s one more diet cola hidden in the vegetable crisper.”