A Husband For Christmas

“Come on, Uncle Doug.” Kimmy skipped halfway up the front walk and beckoned to him.

Before he took a step, Kimmy had already turned her attention to a few clumps of flowers in the beds along the house. He gazed at her creeping around the leaves, loving her curiosity and eagerness to do homework, hoping her attitude would last a lifetime. Having a good work ethic helped a career. He shook his head, realizing how far in the future he’d gone. Instead he should focus on his own future.

“Coming in?”

He faced Nina standing in the doorway. “Stay right here, Kimmy, and then let me know when you’ve finished.

Nina swung the door wider, and again he wished he had a larger living room. When he stepped in, she motioned toward the sofa, her only seating besides the recliner.

Still in the doorway, Nina leaned out. “The door’s open, Kimmy. Come in when you’re done.”

His senses heightened. “Something smells delicious.”

“Good.” She turned from the door. “I’m making enough for all of us, but it’ll be a while. It’s in a slow cooker. Are you starving?”

Even if he was, he wouldn’t admit it. He shook his head.

“Good.” She sank into her recliner. “I thought if I have leftovers, I’d take them to El later tonight so he will have a surprise home-cooked dinner.”

Doug couldn’t imagine having home-cooked meals delivered to his door. His own simple recipes didn’t thrill him. “You’re a good person, Nina.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “Thanks. I wish—”

What did she wish? His mouth opened, then closed. He had to learn not to ask questions or make comments. She’d made it clear her life and problems were not up for discussion. “We ate lunch before we came so we’re good.” His eyes shifted from her to the Bible beside her.

Nina studied him, as if noticing his distraction. “You asked about the Bible earlier.” She rested her hand on the black leather book sitting on the table. “I’m not a religious person. Never brought up that way.” She shrugged. “El must have thought I needed to take a look. I couldn’t say no, but it’s all rather difficult for me.”

She looked away a moment, and though he sensed he should respond, he was at a loss for words.

“I will admit that El had some solid attitudes about God and faith. Things I’ll ponder, I think.”

“Faith is different for each person. I think it happens in its own way. I grew up in a home where church was a normal Sunday activity. I went to Sunday school and sometimes the adult services. I believe, but even I find it easy to skip church sometimes, especially since I moved. I need to look for a home church.” A rivulet of guilt ran through him. “I’ve passed so many here in Owosso. I think there’s one on every other corner.” Though he chuckled, his discomfort didn’t fade. “I try to go most Sundays when I have a church family.”

“Family?” She shrugged.

“It feels like a family and it’s a meaningful break in the week.”

“I imagine it is. Music and readings. Those things can draw a mind away from day-to-day troubles.” She patted the Bible and pulled her hand away as if it had burned her. “Any news from Kimmy’s mom?”

He drew his focus from the Bible to Nina, noting a look of discomfort on her face. “I talked with her yesterday.” A pang of sadness whipped through him, mixed with concern. “She’s in therapy now, but I don’t think she can stay by herself yet even if she comes home. It sounded as if she’ll go into an inpatient rehabilitation facility for physical and occupational therapy before they release her.” His throat caught as he absorbed the issues continuing to grow. “Our mother lives a number of miles away but she wouldn’t be much help, and I work every day.”

“I’m sure a facility would be the best for her, Doug. She’ll get good treatment.” She searched his face, her own growing taut before she glanced out the window. “Doug, you’ve never mentioned Kimmy’s father. Is he anywhere in the picture?”

His mood darkened. “Never. He’s never seen Kimmy. I don’t know if he ever knew about her. Roseanne never talks about him.”

“She’d never married or—?”

“That’s right. She took a chance, and Kimmy happened. She won’t talk about it so I don’t know a thing about him.”

“That’s hard.” She appeared thoughtful. “Does Kimmy ever ask about him?”

He shrugged, hoping to hide his dark feelings. “I guess she has but Roseanne concocted some story. I think she said he died.”

“One day when she’s older Kimmy will want details. How he died. When? Did he love her? All those things we all want to know about our parents.”

“I agree, but Roseanne only shakes her head and ignores me. She’ll do what’s right when Kimmy’s older, I hope.”

“I think she will. Truth from a mother with her child is important.”

Letting the subject fade seemed his best move, and he gazed out the window and a grin broke the tension. “Kimmy’s chasing something in one of the bushes.”

Nina craned her neck to look outside “She seems to be doing well. She’s adjusted. It’s better for her to stay with you.” Nina looked away a moment. “And you know, Doug, Kimmy’s a bright little girl, and I fear she might feel too much responsibility and even guilt if she went home with her mother still needing care. I don’t suppose you want to hear that.”

“I’ve thought about that, too.” He forced his eyes to stay connected with hers. “But I’m worried how to work it out. I can’t take a leave, Nina. It’s not feasible. Yet I’m the only one Roseanne can count on.”

“I wish I had the answers.” A distant look filled her eyes, but then she brightened. “I realize we’ve only met, but she’s a sweet girl and... I’d be willing to help in any way I can.”

Her concern for Kimmy touched him, and he wondered why she didn’t have children, but he knew better than to even hint at the question. “I’m sure you’re right, and thanks for your offer.”

The subject weighed on him, and he opened his mind to allow another thought to slip from his memory. “Isn’t Angie and Rick’s wedding soon? I overheard something on Friday. For a while, I thought they were already married, but obviously they’re not. He always goes home at night.”

Nina laughed. “They’re ones who follow their religion, I think.” She shook her head. “But that’s wise.”

She quieted again, and he wished they could recapture the easy, casual relationship they’d had when they first met.

Finally she broke the silence. “I was surprised when I received a wedding invitation. We’ve only known each other a short time, but we clicked, I guess. I like Angie and Rick. Carly’s a doll, too. She’ll be their flower girl.”

“I thought flower girls were toddlers who cry and run back to their moms.”

She laughed. “Sometimes, yes, but this is a wonderful way to include her in the ceremony.”

“It is. I was being silly.” He grinned, glad his remark had broken the tension.

She studied him for a moment. “Do you get upset by personal questions?”

He managed to lasso his laugh, recalling her idiosyncrasy. “Not usually, but I’d say it depends on what kind of personal question.”

She sent him a half grin and glanced out the window again. “I know you’re single, but I can’t help but wonder why.”

“I ask myself the same question. I mentioned once that life got in the way. And there’s truth to that. My dad was ill for a long time, and I did what I could to help my parents. Mom wasn’t that healthy either, and Dad needed to be lifted or helped to stand. He lost both legs to diabetes.” Those horrible days resurfaced, bringing pain with them. “Dad was a man’s man. Wouldn’t listen to my mom or the doctor’s warnings. He thought he could beat all illnesses, but he couldn’t. Strange how we do that, isn’t it? We know what’s best, but we ignore it.”

Her face darkened a moment, and he feared he’d done it again. “Nina, I’m sorry if I—”

She held up her hand. “No. It wasn’t what you said. There’s truth to that. I’ve been bitter for years over my failed marriage, and yet when you said we know what’s best but we ignore it, it struck home. The divorce was probably for the best under the circumstances.”

Questions flew to his tongue but again he refrained from uttering even a small question. Her marriage seemed to cause the last bugaboo, and he’d already spilled out too much of his life. He forgot they were virtual strangers. They’d met a short time ago, and yet it seemed as if it had been forever.

She eyed him as if wondering why he’d become silent.

He buried his question. “It’s good sometimes to look back with fresh eyes. I think with most things, time clears our heads and we can face things differently. We let the blame go and focus on the result or the possibilities.”

“Possibilities. That’s sort of like hope, isn’t it?”

“I suppose it is.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I still hold out hope that one day in the near future I’ll find the right person.” What had he said? His mouth flapped without control. He’d spent much of his life preoccupied with everyone but himself. Where had those feelings come from?

And yet he knew. He studied her, admiring her light brown eyes that crinkled when she smiled and her intriguing wavy hair.

“For some people that’s a real hope.” She lifted a finger. “Let me check on the time. I still need to add something to the slow cooker.” She rose and hurried away.

He watched her disappear beyond the door, as if she anticipated another question from him and was dodging it. He wished he could control his mouth and his heart. Nina looked uneasy, and he wished he knew what he could do to make their friendship as relaxed as it had been before.

He rose, perplexed, and wandered to the window, amazed that Kimmy spent so much time and patience in search of bugs. He shook his head. His patience ran amok more times than not. He should learn something from his young niece.

“I’m back.”

He turned and was struck by how lovely Nina was. She walked with an air of confidence, yet she had an amiable aura. Despite her discomfort with personal subjects, she reached out to Kimmy in a sweet manner. That’s what attracted him.

Nina joined him by the window. “I suppose we could go out and look for bugs, too.”

“Or just watch. I don’t want to ruin Kimmy’s fun.”

She chuckled. “Are you one of those men afraid of spiders?”

“I’m not talking.”

With no other comment, she stepped outside to the porch, where two canvas chairs sat on the far end. He settled into one and Nina followed. “What do you do if Kimmy’s sick or if you have to work overtime?”

He drew in a breath, hating to think of those situations. “Thank the Lord, they’ve been rare, but I had to take off work or see if I could get a neighbor to step in for me. In my previous home, I had an older woman close by who usually volunteered. She was a blessing.”

“You know I can often work at home, Doug. If you ever need someone in a pinch—”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that, but thanks for offering. I just pray that she stays healthy, and I can get off work on time. They have a latchkey program at her school so Roseanne had her in that program until she could pick her up. It was only for an hour or so.”

“If you’re sure, but just in case...” She rose and headed into the house.

His jaw sagged at her quick departure. In a moment, she reappeared and handed him a small card. He glanced at it, surprised she had a business card. “I see you’re a public relations consultant. That sounds interesting.”

“That’s why I can work from home at times. It’s a lot of computer work. As long as I get it done and it’s good, that’s all that counts.”

“Can you find me a job like that?” Feeling relief, he sensed their relationship had smoothed out again. He tucked the card into his pocket, pleased to see her cell phone number on it.

“Look, Uncle Doug.”

“I see you found a ladybug.”

“Two of them. Look.”

He slipped his arm around Kimmy and gave her a hug. “Your teacher will be very happy with all the insects you captured.”

Nina glanced at her watch. “I think it’s time to get cleaned up for dinner. The food should be ready soon.”

Doug loved Nina’s manner with Kimmy. He let the two go ahead of him before joining them inside, enveloped in a cozy feeling too often alien to him. The idea of being a family and having children wrapped around his mind and left him with a sense of wholeness. The sensation gave him pause. He’d become too enamored of Nina, and he needed to sort out his feelings. Was it her kindness to Kimmy that brought up these emotions? Or was he truly altering his attitude about relationships...and marriage?

* * *

Nina hit Save on her computer and rose. Her eyes burned from staring at the monitor. She’d worked at home all day, and in the quiet, she’d accomplished one large task for her new client, but she had more to do.

She sank into her easy chair. Though things had gone smoothly on Sunday with Doug, he hadn’t contacted her since. Four days had passed with nothing. She’d thought their friendship had solidified with her apology and Doug’s positive reaction.

When she lifted the footrest lever, she dropped back and closed her eyes, needing to sort her feelings. The word friendship struck her, but something deeper inched into her emotions. Getting involved again frightened her, and she’d set her mind to stay away from even a hint of commitment. Yet, Doug had come along and the idea of companionship cheered her. It aroused a sense of hope that Doug often talked about.

Since she’d moved to Lilac Circle, she had made friends with Angie and El and maybe that was enough. But as soon as she let the thought breathe, she knew the answer. She’d regret it if she and Doug didn’t become true friends.

Friends, even good friends, could enjoy each other’s company without calling it a date. Going to dinner together, talking on the porch, those were pleasant events without imposing two lives into one. That’s what marriage was. The willingness to give of yourself and be one. She could stand on her own without anything more than an enjoyable friendship. The idea sent tension out the window. Good friends. Best friends, maybe. Platonic. That was the word. Platonic friendship. She blew a stream of air from her lungs.

Now to believe it and act on it.

As the friendship idea drifted, Angie’s wedding came to mind. Though Angie had addressed it to her and a guest, she had mailed her RSVP indicating she would attend alone. Her shoulders heaved. Being alone at a wedding made her cringe. She would feel like an elderly maiden aunt who was parked in a chair and everyone had fun around her. What could she do to get out of it now? Illness? She could fake that, but it seemed so obvious. Her shoulder twitched again, and she veered her gaze out the window.

When she shifted her eyes, they lit on the bible. Margie’s bible. El shouldn’t have given it to her. Giving it to someone who would use it made more sense.

Yet her eyes remained on the book, and the verse she’d spotted at El’s came to mind. She flipped to the back and turned pages until she spotted the reference, and then searched through the scripture until she found the verses—Matthew 17:20.

He said: “Because you have so little faith, I tell you the truth. If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.

But who was the He referred to in the verse? She moved her eyes upward and found her answer. Jesus. Jesus said with the tiniest bit of faith nothing was impossible. How could that be? She closed her eyes. A mustard seed was minute, but she couldn’t claim to have even that amount of faith.

Her cell phone’s ringtone sounded from a distance, and she slipped the Bible onto the table, dropped the footrest and hurried to the computer table in her office. She viewed a number she didn’t recognize. It persisted. She hit talk and said hello.

“Nina, this is Doug.”

Her heart lurched. “Is something wrong?” Her head spun—how did he have her number? Right, the business card.

“Nothing horrible. I’ve been asked—that’s a nice way to put it—to work overtime tomorrow. I have a meeting in the morning and a huge project to get ready. I hate to ask, but—”

“Doug.” Her heart slowed to a trot, knowing Kimmy was fine. “I volunteered. I don’t mind. I’m going to the office in the morning and I’ll be working at home the rest of the day. Kimmy will be fine with me.”

“Are you sure?” The question rang with concern.

“I won’t indulge you with a response.” She cleared her throat with as much drama as she could, hoping he recognized she was teasing him.

“Okay, I get you.” Relief sounded in his tone. “I’ll stop by tonight with the info you’ll need, and I’ll go into the school when I pick her up today and leave your name so they’ll know I sent you.”

“Good, because I don’t want to be arrested for kidnapping.”

He chuckled. “Thanks so much. By the way, I’m sorry I haven’t seen you since Sunday. Once again life happened. I had to spend time with my mother on the phone, and then Kimmy and I went there one evening. She’s having some health issues, and I’m trying to convince her to sell the house and move into an assisted living facility.”

“Any progress?”

“Mom isn’t the easiest to convince. It’s frustrating.”

She recognized the weariness in his voice. “I can imagine, and with her living a distance away, it’s even more complex.”

“Thanks for understanding.” His contrite tone had brightened. “I’ll drop by tonight.”

The conversation ended, and she headed back to the chair, grateful that her work allowed her to spend time at home. And now with Kimmy, it answered Doug’s need. A sense of purpose eased through her as she tilted back in her chair. She closed her eyes while visions of her new life spread around her. She’d see Doug tonight and spend time with Kimmy. What could be better? A platonic relationship seemed perfect.

Hearing the doorbell, Nina dropped the footrest again and bounded from the chair, startled that she’d fallen asleep. Confused, she eyed her watch as she opened the door.

“Hope I didn’t interrupt.” Angie grinned and took a step forward, anticipating being invited in.

“You didn’t.” She shifted back and beckoned Angie inside. “In fact, I’m glad you came.” Nina swung her arm toward the recliner. “I’d fallen asleep in my chair.”

“I’m so sorry I woke you.” Angie frowned. “So what’s stressing you out?”

Angie’s questioning look caused Nina to shake her head. “Nothing. Why would you ask that? My eyes were tired. I’ve been staring at a monitor all day.”

Angie chuckled. “It’s a good excuse.”

Nina ignored the comment and motioned to a chair. “Please have a seat.”

She looked behind her and settled on the edge of the sofa. “I can’t stay long, but I finally got around to checking the RSVPs and I noticed you only put down one person attending.” She tilted her head, her eyes questioning.

“That’s correct. There’s no law, right?” Nina flashed a grin, though uncomfortable with Angie’s reaction. “I’m not dating anyone, and I decided it was easier just to come alone.”

“You can, but it’s more fun when you have a friend with you. Do you like to dance?”

Angie’s question stung. “I used to. It’s been a long time.”

“It’s like riding a bike. You never forget how to do that.”

Her attempt at humor failed. “I’ll keep that in mind if the opportunity arises.”

Angie rose. “I must have sounded pushy, Nina. Forgive me. I would love to see you have fun. I really like you.”

“Thanks.” She stood and rested her hand on Angie’s shoulder. “But I think I’ll come alone.”

“Okay, but...what about Doug? He’s a great guy and a neighbor. If we’d known him better, we might have invited him, too. In fact, there’s your answer.”

Whether she came alone or with someone wouldn’t ruin the wedding reception. “Angie. I’ve already decided that I’m not asking anyone.”

Angie studied her a moment as if ready to rebut. “Okay, if you’re that determined, but I’ll put you down for two just in case.” She gave a one-shoulder shrug and turned toward the door before she wiggled her fingers in a wave. “See you later.”

Exasperation bristled along Nina’s arms as she said goodbye and watched her go. Maybe Angie was teasing, but why couldn’t she make her own decisions without people pressuring her?

After stepping back through the doorway, she sank into her comfy chair. Bring a date? Angie assumed Doug was the only guy she knew well enough to ask. That was true, but she had never asked anyone for a date, and she wasn’t starting now.

She shook her head. As for Doug, she already had concerns about her feelings. Asking him would be truly stupid.

As she tossed herself back, she hit the footrest lever. Maybe she could fall asleep again and awake convinced that Angie’s visit was a bad dream.

Who was she kidding?

She closed her eyes, and her senses returned. What was she fighting? Angie hadn’t suggested a date. She’d suggested an escort. Friends sometimes did that for friends.

Friends. The word rolled around in her mind. Minutes ago she’d thought the solution had been found. Platonic friends. Then what was the probem? She closed her eyes, releasing a sigh that rattled through her chest. She could fool others but not herself. Having Doug escort her, in reality, tempted her emotions. One day, he would face his own reality and want a family. If she fell in love with Doug, he could walk away as Todd had done when he learned she couldn’t bear a child. Her chest constricted. And he should walk away if he wanted a family. She couldn’t chance it.

* * *

After working without a break, Nina checked her watch. One. She needed to pick up Kimmy at school between three and three-thirty. Fatigued again, and not only from the monitor. She felt plain old tired. Her sleep the night before had been restless. She thanked Angie for that. Why had she made a big deal about attending the wedding alone? Yes, she would mess up the table seating. Most everyone attended as couples, so the tables usually seated eight or ten. She’d make it seven or nine. She managed a chuckle. Maybe someone’s maiden aunt needed a seat.

She made her way to the kitchen, longing for something to distract her. The refrigerator didn’t pose any invitation as she gazed inside. The few cookies still in the jar she’d kept for Kimmy. Crackers? With what? Peanut butter, but she ran out a few days before. Maybe a trip to the grocery store would do it.

Instead she opened the back door and stepped outside, her eyes grazing the landscape. She’d done nothing about the perennials, and soon it would be too late. She hurried back in, grabbed her cell phone and purse and slipped into her car, recalling a garden shop not too far away. Soon she was pulling into the parking lot. After studying two rows of flowers, she spotted the coneflowers and hoisted a plant into her basket while her mind slipped to Kimmy. Time was ticking away, and she didn’t want to scare her or disappoint Doug by being late. With time on her mind, she spotted a sales clerk and caught her attention. “I’m in a new house without much landscaping, and I’m checking perennials but I want to make sure it’s not too late to plant. Can you tell me?”

“Sure. You have coneflowers there. It’s a good choice. They’re hardy flowers, and in Zone 5 the fall months are perfect for planting.”

She thanked the salesclerk and then asked directions to find the daisies.

The woman beckoned her to follow. With her guidance, she set three pots of daisies into the basket. Finally she circled back and grabbed three more colorful coneflowers to brighten her garden and her life.

She paid the bill, her mind everywhere but on her purchases. After she arrived home and unloaded, she realized Kimmy would already be waiting for her. Angry at her carelessness, she dashed to her car and headed down Oliver Street.

When she spotted the redbrick building, darkened with age, she slowed and pulled into the pickup lane. Only a few children were outside waiting, a couple others were getting into cars, but Kimmy wasn’t among them. Panicking, she pictured Doug’s frantic face and felt nailed to the seat. She sat a moment deciding what to do. Her only choice was to go inside. She drove to the parking lot and slipped out as her nerves set in. What would she do if Kimmy had been picked up by someone else. Kidnapped? Her carelessness rent her heart.