A Doctor To Heal Her Heart

‘Hi. I’m Euan.’

‘Sam. Good to meet you, Euan.’

CHAPTER THREE

SHE COULDN’T ACCUSE Euan of doing anything by half-measures. Watching him give his undivided attention to others had been frustrating and Sam was unable to deny that she’d been a little jealous. Now that she finally had that attention, it was making her knees wobble.

His quiet enthusiasm, as he showed her around the clinic, seemed to seep through her skin, warming her. The comfortable counselling rooms and the tranquil garden. The community room, where a small group was talking over coffee. People were coming and going all the time, and he had a smile to spare for everyone.

He saved his surgery, which doubled up as his office, for last. Now that they were away from the community areas he seemed more animated, propping himself against the side of his desk to talk, while Sam scribbled notes. ‘We’re in transition at the moment. When the new residential centre is up and running it’ll take some of the pressure off the clinics here, and allow us to extend our outreach services.’

‘When’s that going to be?’

‘In the new year.’

‘And you’ll extend your services how...?’

‘We’re planning to set up clinics and groups especially for users of party drugs. Amyl nitrates, ketamine hydrochloride, MDMA, methamphetamine... And we’re getting an increasing number of people coming in with steroid abuse problems, so we’re looking for someone who has experience of working with those kinds of body image issues.’

‘Will you be doing different things here than at the residential centre?’

‘Yeah. This place is ideal for clinics and groups, because it’s central and easy to get to. The residential centre’s out of town, so it’s good for weekend conferences and long-stay patients.’

‘And people will pay for the residential centre?’

‘If they can afford it, they make a donation. We don’t turn anyone away on the basis of money, and everyone’s treated the same whether they pay or not.’

‘It all seems so...’ Sam couldn’t really think of the right word. She’d expected the place to have more rawness about it. ‘So calm here.’

Euan chuckled. ‘Today’s a good day. We try to keep the atmosphere here relaxed, but it’s not always like this. Getting the better of an addiction is a long, tough process.’

‘But you guide people through that. Bring them back.’ She wanted to hear that Euan could single-handedly move mountains. Save the world. Someone needed to, because she couldn’t.

He was suddenly sombre, sitting down opposite her in one of the chairs reserved for his patients.

‘We can’t bring them all back. The clinic has a great success rate, but we can’t work miracles. Some of our clients will stop taking drugs altogether, some modify their habit and...some we lose.’

Her throat was suddenly dry. ‘But surely... Once someone wants to give up drugs, and they get help...’

‘That’s a great start. But addiction’s a powerful thing. Wanting to give up and getting the appropriate help is the first, all-important step on a very long road. Many of our clients have been through rehab more than once.’

‘How do you deal with that?’ Sam could hear an edge of desperation in her voice. For the last two years she’d thought that if only Sally had said something about her drug-taking, everything would have been okay. It hadn’t been much of a comfort, but it had been something to hold onto in a world of ever-shifting pain, and now Euan was snatching it away.

He leaned forward, his gaze searching her face as if he was trying to fathom out what she was really asking of him. ‘Sometimes I don’t. There are times when not being able to deal with something might be the most appropriate reaction.’

Sam would have to think about the implications of that statement. Later. ‘But you’re still here.’

‘Yep. So are you.’

Touché. Sam had her own reasons for that, and clearly Euan did too. She picked up her pencil and tried to think of a less demanding question.

‘What time does the clinic stay open until?’

‘Eleven o’clock. But my shift ends in ten minutes. I’m on call, but only for emergencies.’ His lips twitched into a smile. ‘Do you like Chinese?

That sounded like a trick question. ‘It depends...’

‘In that case, you’ll like the place I’ve booked for dinner.’ He grinned at her discomfiture. ‘A working dinner.’

‘Oh, so you’re going to make me sing for my supper, are you?’ Almost against her will she smiled back at him.

‘Were you thinking of clocking off yet?’

No, she wasn’t. Working too many hours was a way to keep from thinking too much. And if she fell into bed exhausted every night, that just meant that she slept a bit better. She did have to eat, though.

‘Am I okay to go as I am?’ Sam looked at her cargo pants and sneakers.

‘You want to show me up?’ He placed a hand on his chest, laughing. ‘Although you can if you want. This place doesn’t have a dress code.’

It would be impossible to show Euan up. He could ruffle his hair all he liked, wear whatever leapt out of his wardrobe at him, and still look good. His broad shoulders and the show-me-more ripple of muscle under his casual shirt attested to the fact that he’d already put in all the work he needed to on his appearance.

‘I left my tiara at home. I’ll show you up next time.’

He grinned. ‘I’ll look forward to it.’

* * *

When he ushered her out of the building he seemed to take a deep breath, sloughing off the cares of the day. They strolled down to the seafront together, walking along the promenade for half a mile, until Euan turned inland towards the centre of town.

‘Do you always go via the seafront?’ Sam was still getting her bearings, but she had an inkling that they probably could have cut ten minutes from their walk by taking a more direct route.

‘Usually.’ He grinned. ‘No point in living by the sea if you don’t grab as much ozone as you can.’

Sam jerked her thumb back towards the sea. ‘That’s the English Channel out there. I didn’t know there was any ozone...’

He chuckled. ‘Probably not. I like the beach, though.’ He made a sharp left, and opened the door of a glass-fronted restaurant, motioning her through.

Inside, there was already a hum of activity. Euan was clearly a regular, and the waitress who came to their table greeted him by name and handed Sam a menu, chatting to Euan while she scrutinised it.

Perhaps he brought his girlfriends here. No one seemed much interested in her, and Sam imagined he probably turned up with a different woman on a fairly regular basis. If he had a regular partner, she would have attracted more attention, and Euan was the kind of man who was unlikely to go short of female company...

‘Decided yet?’

Sam jumped and focussed her eyes back on the menu. ‘Um... What’s the Kung Po chicken like?’

‘Good. Very good,’ the waitress replied.

‘I’ll have that, then. With some rice and...’ The waitress nodded, scribbling her order down in Chinese characters on her pad.

‘Something to drink?’

‘Water, please. Sparkling.’ Sam never drank when she was working, and although tonight fell into a grey area somewhere between work and socialising, she needed to be careful around Euan. His job involved getting people to talk about how they felt, and he was obviously good at it. It would be horrifyingly easy to tell him her darkest secrets before she’d even realised it, and she wasn’t here for that.

He didn’t seem to make such distinctions, though. His work was intimately personal to him, bound up with feeling and hope and dreams. Even his discourse on health and safety procedures seemed more intimate than it should have been. Leaning across the table so that they could hear each other in the ever-increasing din of the restaurant, lost in the compelling magic of his eyes, it almost felt like a tryst.

‘So tell me something about yourself.’ They were waiting for their coffee now.

‘Not much to tell, really.’ She grinned at him. ‘I was born. I went to school, then university...’

‘Computer sciences?’

She nodded. ‘When we were at university together, my best friend and I had an idea. After we graduated, we thought we’d lose nothing by seeing if we could make something of it. We started off working from Sally’s parents’ spare bedroom.’

Even best friend didn’t cover it. The two girls had been seven years old when Sally had asked Sam back to her house one day, after Sam’s mother had become unavoidably detained by a bottle and some bad company and it had slipped her mind that she even had a daughter. With the benefit of hindsight, Sam could see that Sal’s mother had only needed to take one look at her to divine the situation, but she’d said nothing. Just laid an extra place at the table and made sure that Sam got home safely that night. After that, Sal’s family had become hers. And the two girls had been inseparable, like the closest of sisters.

‘And you made quite a go of it.’ Euan was nodding her on, and Sam realised that she’d fallen silent.

‘Yeah. Sal was the creative one, she had the ideas, and I did the programming. We made a good team.’

‘But you sold up?’ The look in his eyes told Sam that he wasn’t falling for the sugar and spice version of the story.

‘Yeah. Things change.’

He didn’t ask. Maybe he was thinking about it, and maybe he realised that she wouldn’t answer if he did ask. He paused, as if to allow her to reconsider her decision, but she couldn’t.

A tone sounded and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, giving her a mouthed apology before answering it. ‘Yeah, Mel. What’s up?’ His face darkened as the relief doctor at the clinic spoke at the other end of the line.

‘Okay. Yeah, that’s all right. Leave it with me.’ He cut the line, shoving his phone back into his pocket. ‘I’m sorry, Sam.’

‘That’s okay. We have to go?’

‘I have to go.’ He stood, pulling some notes from his wallet and beckoning to the waitress. ‘You have coffee. Call this number...’ he put a card from a cab company in front of her ‘...and tell them to put the fare back to the flat on the Driftwood account.’

‘I’m coming with you.’ Where the hell had that come from?

‘This is not part of your job...’

‘It’s what you’re all about, though, isn’t it? Give me a chance to at least see that.’ Sam was overstepping the mark, and she knew it. But here, at last, was the whole point of the infrastructure, the policies and the software. She’d found her way down to the heart of what made Euan tick.

He paused, clearly grudging even the two seconds that it took to think about it.

‘Give me a chance, Euan. I won’t get in the way, and I’ll do as you say. I promise.’

‘Okay.’ He pushed the notes into the waitress’s hand and she took them, clearly used to Euan leaving abruptly. ‘We need to hurry.’

CHAPTER FOUR

EUAN MUST LIVE close by, because his car was only two streets away in a quiet backwater of a road. Sam didn’t have much chance to take in the neighbourhood, because her lungs were bursting from their dash to the car.

His one concession to her presence was to open the passenger door of the black SUV for her before he got behind the wheel and started the engine. They drove in silence while Sam caught her breath and Euan negotiated the traffic through the centre of the town.

‘Where are we going?’

‘It’s only another couple of miles. Mel’s heard about someone who might be in trouble...’ He caught her questioning look and puffed out a sharp breath. ‘The clinic’s a community. People look after each other and they’ll often come to us before they go to the authorities if they think there’s a problem.’

There was obviously a great deal more to it than that, but Euan was keeping his own counsel. ‘They come to you before they go to the police, you mean.’

‘Yeah. Which doesn’t mean that we won’t refer things on to the authorities if we need to.’

‘Must be a hard line to tread.’

He shrugged. ‘Not really. We abide by the law. We don’t abandon those of our clients who fall foul of it to the system, though.’ The car slowed as he turned off the ring road. ‘Look, Sam, I want you to stay in the car...’

No. She’d got this far, she wasn’t staying in the car. ‘Perhaps I can help.’

‘If everything’s okay, I won’t need you. If it’s not, then...it may not be the place for you.’

It was the only place for her. Sally had died alone, as a result of drugs abuse. Sam would have given anything to be able to go back and be there for her friend, but that wasn’t possible. Maybe being there for someone else would help her sleep at night.

‘I want to go with you. I understand what that means.’

A quick, searching look as he slid the car against the kerb. Euan made his decision in the tick of a second. ‘I’m not sure you do. But you can come if you do exactly as I say.’

‘It’s a deal.’ Sam jumped out of the car before he could change his mind and followed him up the front path of a large, detached house.

When Euan rang the bell, there was silence, then a thumping sound from inside and the door was flung open. ‘Hi.’ A tall blonde smiled out into the night, her gaze roving across them and sticking on Euan. ‘Can I help you?’

‘My name’s Euan Scott. I’m a doctor, and we’ve had a report that a Carrie Grayson is unwell. At this address.’

‘Carrie? She’s in her room, I think.’ The girl looked behind her and shouted back into the house. ‘Paul, have you seen Carrie?’

‘Upstairs,’ a bored, male voice said. ‘She came in about an hour ago, said she was going to bed. She looked like shit.’

‘Please, will you check on her?’ Euan’s voice was gentle but firm. ‘It’s important.’

The blonde hesitated. ‘Okay. Stay here.’ She closed the door in their faces, and Sam could hear the sound of voices inside the house.

‘Ohh!’ Sam almost stamped her foot in frustration and Euan smiled grimly.

‘Would you let two strangers into your house on a Saturday evening?’ He felt in his pocket and handed her the car keys. ‘Here, my medical bag’s in the boot. Would you fetch it, please?’

Maybe it was a test to see if she really would do as he said. Maybe he just reckoned he was going to need the bag. Whatever. If bag-carrier was the role she was being offered, she’d be the best damn bag-carrier he’d ever seen. Sam hurried to the car, opened the boot and heaved the bulky bag out, staggering slightly as she slung it onto her shoulder.

Did he really need all this? She supposed so. There were so many different ways a person could die, and that meant a lot of different ways to save them. Sam slammed the boot shut and was halfway back up the front path when the front door was flung open.

‘We need help...’ The blonde’s eyes were wide with panic, her hair flying around her shoulders.

‘Okay.’ Euan stepped inside without a backward glance in Sam’s direction. ‘Where is Carrie?’

Sam made the front door at a run, and followed Euan up the stairs and along a wide, well-decorated hallway. The blonde was motioning Euan into a doorway at the far end.

‘I think she’s dying...’ The blonde caught Sam’s arm as she went to follow Euan inside.

‘We don’t know anything yet. Let the doctor see her...’ Sam prised the clenched fingers from her arm. ‘Stay here and stop anyone else from coming into the room. Can you do that?’

‘Yeah. Call me if you need me. My name’s Helen.’ The girl was younger than Sam, a student probably, and she was tearful but resolute.

‘Will do.’ Sam took a deep breath and stepped into the room.

A young woman was lying on the bed, fully clothed, her limbs jerking fitfully. The smell of vomit was sharp in the air and Sam ignored the bile that rose from her own stomach and hurried over to where Euan was examining Carrie, putting the medical bag down next to him.

‘Thanks.’ He hardly looked at her. ‘Call an ambulance, please. Let me speak to the controller when you get through.’

The rapped-out instructions told Sam how grave the situation was. She dialled quickly, watching as Euan pulled a blood-pressure monitor from the bag, wrapping it around Carrie’s arm. She waited until he’d finished and then held the phone to his ear so he still had both his hands free to stop Carrie from rolling off the bed. He spoke quickly, words that Sam half understood and couldn’t comprehend through the sharp misery of having to stand by and watch, unable to help. ‘Okay, thanks... Ten minutes. Good...’

He glanced up at Sam as she ended the call. ‘Can you hold her still? As gently as you can, just try to stop her from lashing out and hurting herself. And be careful she doesn’t hurt you.’

‘Okay.’ Sam was trembling but she crawled onto the bed next to Carrie and put her arms around her. Maybe she should talk to her. She wasn’t sure whether Carrie could hear her or not, but it might be worth a try. ‘It’s all right, Carrie. You’re going to be all right. Just let the doctor do his work.’

She caught what might have been a brief smile on Euan’s lips as he took Carrie’s arm and injected something into it. Perhaps he thought that she was being stupid, but all the same she kept talking in the hope that Carrie might hear her reassurances.

‘Okay, shift over a bit, I need to listen to her heart again.’ Sam moved, and pulled Carrie’s rumpled blouse open so that Euan could press the end of the stethoscope to her chest. He nodded. ‘Good. Just stay there.’

There was approbation in his eyes and Sam felt tears begin to well. She blinked them back, turning her attention to Carrie, dimly aware that Euan was taking something from his bag. ‘Here, hold the oxygen mask over her face. Yes, that’s right.’

Euan had Carrie’s wrist between his fingers, checking her pulse, watching her intently for... Sam didn’t know what. She couldn’t think about what at the moment. Carrie was breathing, and that was all she knew.

The doorbell rang, and Helen’s head poked around the door. ‘What do I do?’

‘Answer it, it’s probably the ambulance.’ Euan didn’t look up.

‘Yes. Right.’ The girl disappeared, and then the clatter of heavy boots on the stairs heralded the ambulance crew’s arrival. Euan took a moment to brief them, and then Sam moved away from Carrie to allow them to take over.

She almost staggered backwards, unable to help any more but unable to leave either, so she perched herself awkwardly against a dresser in the corner of the room. Euan and the two ambulancemen were busy, and she tried to keep her eyes on Carrie’s face, silently willing her to get through this.

Finally they were finished. Euan repacked his medical bag while Carrie was strapped securely into a carry chair, and slowly, gently the ambulance crew manoeuvred her down the stairs. Sam followed, unsure what to do next.

Helen caught her arm. ‘We didn’t know she was ill. Is she going to be all right?’

‘You’ll have to ask the doctors.’ Helen was chewing her lip, watching through the open front door as Carrie was lifted into the ambulance. ‘Do you want to go with her to the hospital?’

‘She’s my friend.’ Tears were rolling down the blonde’s cheeks now. ‘I didn’t know... Really I didn’t. We were all downstairs and Pete said that Carrie had just gone to get an early night...’

Sam recognised that kind of guilt. ‘Look, it’s all right.’ She took Helen’s hand and squeezed it to emphasise her point. ‘You can’t change the fact that you didn’t know Carrie was ill. Don’t let how you feel about that stop you from being there for her now.’

Helen still hesitated. Sam would have done anything to have had this opportunity with Sally. ‘Carrie’s got a second chance, and so do you. Are you going with her or not?’ she asked firmly.

Helen pulled a coat from the rack and picked up a shoulder bag. ‘Yeah. I’m going.’

Sam nodded and led her out to the ambulance, catching the attention of the driver and shepherding Helen into the back of the vehicle. When she looked around for Euan, he was leaning against the bonnet of his car, arms folded and watching her.

‘What?’ There was a half smile on his lips when she walked over to face him.

‘You’ve got something on your trousers.’ He caught her hand as she bent to brush whatever it was away. ‘No, don’t do that.’

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