The Doctor's Lost-and-Found Heart

It was a rhetorical question. She knew that, and decided to let it pass. “Look, it makes me angry, too. And my brother paces the floor he worries so much. But that’s the way we have to do things here, because we want to get along. It’s for the good of everyone, including Maritza. Things are changing here in the way we’re accepted, and those changes have their own pace. I mean, you lived here, so you already know that. Probably better than I do.”

“Look, I’m sorry. You have a nice facility here at Caridad, I’m not criticizing it. And I’m not criticizing either you or Ben. What you have works, and it’s none of my business how you treat your patients, so forget what I said because I’m not the one trying to take care of medical services on so many levels with so few means.”

Amanda stepped closer to Jack. “I appreciate the concern. No apologies necessary for that. And, Jack … thank you for earlier, for telling me who I might be.” She bent and kissed his cheek, her voice catching as the words came out. “Sincerely, thank you.”

As she was leaving, Ben was entering, and she gave him a bye-bye wave as she flitted out the door like a butterfly on a light breeze.

“She’s … ” Jack shrugged, not able to come up with the right word to describe her.

“A force,” Ben supplied.

“A force,” he repeated, just a little bowled over by Amanda’s passion. She was so out there about it. In his life those kinds of emotions were kept hidden, and he wasn’t used to being around someone like her, who showed all of it so naturally. It was a little off-putting to that self-admitted stodginess in him he tried to sustain. But it was also fascinating, much more than he would have expected. Still, should he have told her who she might be? It bothered him, made him uneasy being put in that position. Part of him was already realizing, though, that turning her down in anything she asked was going to be tough. Maybe damn near impossible. Because she was a force.

“Anyway,” he went on, trying to shake Amanda from his mind, “about this hospital-acquired infection you’ve got going …”

“Seven diagnosed cases right now, all of them limited to the children’s ward. General symptoms but not that serious—abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, malaise.”

“Fever? Cough?”

“Not yet. And the good news is we can do a limited amount of cultures here. But the bad news is, since we’re not really set up for it, I’m not sure I’d totally trust the results, if we were getting results, which we aren’t.”

“Which means everything’s turning up negative?”

“No positive test results for anything we’ve cultured. We’re set up to treat patients, and our lab, well … Let’s just say you’re not going to be impressed with it. So let’s just get this tour over with so you can figure out what to do with what we’ve got.”

“You mean Ezequiel’s tour wasn’t a real tour?” Jack asked, smiling. “Great kid, by the way. Smart.”

“We’re fond of him.”

“It’s good you let him hang around. Gives him a purpose.”

“And a home,” Ben commented.

“He lives here?”

“For a little over a year now. His mom brought him with her when she came for treatment, but she died from cancer, and we couldn’t find anybody who knew Ezequiel, let alone wanted him. No relatives, no family friends. So we set up a room for him … turned a large storage closet into a room, actually, and we all keep an eye on him. Make sure he’s fed, clothed.”

“Then he’s one of the lucky ones,” Jack said, thinking about Amanda, who’d also been one of the lucky ones. Thinking about Rosa, who hadn’t been.

“Lucky maybe, but he’s not getting a proper education, which is a problem. We’re each taking turns teaching him, but there’s no consistency to it. And he’s not with a family, not getting that kind of nurturing, which is an even bigger problem, because all kids need that. Yet if we turn him in to the authorities we might as well give him up for good. He’s too old to be adopted, probably wouldn’t do well in an institutional situation, which is where he’d end up if he didn’t run off. So we just …”

“Look the other way and hope for the best.”

Ben cringed. “When you put it that way, it sounds bad, doesn’t it?”

“No. Not really. I’ve worked in a lot of difficult situations and seen these lost children everywhere. Ezequiel’s sharp. A real survivor. You’re giving him more than he would have any other way, and he’ll make it through.”

“Let’s hope so, but he deserves better. Anyway, welcome to our lab,” Ben said, pushing open a door to reveal a closet-size space, set up with a table and two antiquated microscopes. “Like I said, don’t expect much. I found these in storage in a public hospital in Buenos Aries. They’d upgraded, and told me to help myself. So I filled our communal Jeep with everything I thought we might be able to use, which makes us, officially, a hand-me-down hospital.” Said with a big smile.

“I think the term today is repurposed.” Jack stepped in, took a quick look, and decided it would work. Not well, but well enough for some basic cultures. “So, Amanda said I have free rein, which means I’d like to start by examining the ward where the kids have been infected.”

“Well, since pediatrics is Amanda’s specialty, she’s going to assist you once she’s done with Maritza. Oh, and while you’re here, I’ve taken the liberty of adding you to our clinic schedule, if that’s okay with you.”

“You’re good, slipping that in there when you think I’m focusing on something else,” Jack said, laughing.

“We take our advantages where we can.” He patted Jack on the back. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re here, and until I hear otherwise, I’m going to consider you on call for general duty, starting tonight.” Ben pointed to the door at the opposite end of the hall. “My sister’s out there, when you’re ready for her.”

Jack didn’t respond. Could anyone every really be ready for Amanda?

Slipping into a pair of plum-colored scrub pants, Amanda cinched the drawstring at the waist and headed for the pediatric ward. Actually, it wasn’t a ward so much as one large room, sparse with equipment and other medical accoutrements. But there were beds, and sick children, and a growing problem that worried her.

Funny how Jack’s mere presence brought with it peace of mind. She couldn’t deny it, particularly since some of that peace was oozing into her. Peace in her medical life and, oddly, peace in her personal life. It was better knowing she might be Mapuche, she’d decided. Painful because that knowledge caused uncomfortable questions, but better. Although she owed him an apology because clearly he hadn’t wanted to be involved in the disarray she called her personal life. Yet he’d allowed himself to be dragged in, which wasn’t at all what she’d expected from him.

Something had changed him, though. She’d seen it happen. Seen the incredible struggle when it had flashed over him. But he had been so quick to grab it back, put it away. Leaving her wondering about the person he’d loved. Someone Mapuche. Perhaps a woman? The love of his life?

It occurred to her Jack may have returned to Argentina bearing some kind of pain, simply because she’d asked. “Who are you, Jack?” she asked, as her scrub top slid into place. “What kind of man are you?”

The kind who would fight to keep her from figuring him out. That was the answer that came to her on her way to meet him in Pediatrics. He wanted his distance, and she wanted … Well, she wasn’t sure about that. Maybe all she wanted was to understand him. After all, their worlds did intersect in more than one place, so why wouldn’t she want to understand someone who threaded in and out? Yes, that was it. A perfectly good reason for having Jack on her mind almost constantly. Which had turned into the case.

All thoughts led to Jack, but that was okay, because all she wanted was to understand. That was some mighty fine logical reasoning leading up to a half-believed conclusion. Who was she kidding, though? Because peel back all that logic and she just plain liked his gruff exterior, even his distance. That was what Argentina did for her, gave her different freedom than she was used to. Changed her perspective. It happened every time she was here, maybe because deep down she’d always felt the innateness of who she was. Or wanted to be.

“Anything going on other than what’s being recorded in the charts?” Jack asked from his casual seat behind the old wooden desk that sufficed as the hub of the ward. One desk, one swivel chair, a rusty file cabinet, all of it tucked into the corner, out of the way. And Jack’s size overwhelmed everything. An immense man in a small space made the man look even more immense.

Amanda noticed that, fought to keep her gaze steady. “Not really. Symptoms are mild, nothing you wouldn’t expect. No one critical or even in danger.”

“And you don’t think that this might be some run-of-the-mill hospital infection, one that’s not going to cause any real trouble.” It was a statement, not a question. “Ben’s downplaying it, so he’s not the best one to go to for an objective answer. You, though, got me here, which means you’re worried. So what’s your assessment?”

“That’s just it, Jack,” she said, perching herself on the edge of the desk. “I don’t know. Ben’s been fighting this HAI for a few weeks now, it’s isolated, but it’s not going away. Not getting better or worse, either. With the way things mutate … and I’m not the expert on this, so bear with me. But you read how these various strains, bacterial and viral, mutate, and how so much of what we thought would stop the spread is rendered ineffective very quickly. My brother is smart, and he’ll do whatever it takes to protect the hospital. Me too, because I’m also involved in this, and I believe you’re what it takes or else I wouldn’t have asked for your help.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, every hospital known to man runs some sort of HAI strain through it, Amanda. These kids have gastrointestinal flu-like symptoms. That’s all. And according to what I’ve read, they’ve all been cured pretty easily.”

“But per patient, our percentage is huge. One third of them are coming down with something we’re giving them and that statistic, if nothing else, should be a warning. It’s just that I don’t know what the warning is about.”

“Then it’s a good thing you called me because warnings are my specialty.” He glanced up. “So, it’s time for me to meet the ward.”

“Not the children?”

“Nope, not at first,” he said, standing. “Sometimes not at all. I seem to have a better rapport with the contaminant than I do patients, so I try to keep to where I’m better received.”

“Such a low opinion of yourself,” she said.

“Or a high one, depending on your perspective. Anyway, with the symptoms that are manifesting themselves, the scope of what could be infecting the kids should be pretty limited, so I like to look at everything from a fresh perspective, which includes culturing areas that wouldn’t normally be associated with what we’re seeing. In other words, wear a sturdy pair of suspenders along with a belt, just in case.”

“Overreacting?” she asked, smiling.

He didn’t answer her at first. Instead, he merely stood and stared at her, eventually giving in to a half smile, then finally, “Reacting.”

“Okay, then. If you’re intent on reacting, did you bring the testing supplies with you, because we don’t have—”

“I come prepared. Might even have another trick or two up my sleeve.” He grabbed his white lab coat off the back of the chair, which she hated seeing because she liked his look now … cargo pants, and a crisp, white T-shirt. But everybody had something to cover up, didn’t they? Jack covered something dark and despairing. Her parents covered something that scared her. She covered up so many things in herself, as well.

But what would happen once the covers started to peel back? That was a question she couldn’t answer. And wasn’t sure she wanted answered.

CHAPTER THREE

“I DON’T suppose you’ve solved it already?” Amanda asked hopefully. “You know, one swipe of a trusty test swab and you have your answer.” She plopped down on her bed, flat on her back, and looked across at Jack, who was busy reading, also trying hard to ignore her. “You know, Jack, the kids I work with back in Texas don’t respond to me half the time for any number of reasons. They’re slow processing the question, not sure what an appropriate response is. A lot of the time they’re distracted, or they simply don’t know that answering when someone asks them a question is the right thing to do. So when I don’t get a response from them, I understand because my children, for the most part, are autistic, and I teach them how to respond. But you don’t need to be taught.”

He turned his head to look at her, not even bothering to push up the reading glasses that had slid halfway down his nose. “Your point being?”

“We’re roommates. Roommates talk to each other.”

“I don’t have roommates, and if I did, we wouldn’t have anything in common to discuss.”

“Oh, I think you would, and a great place to start would be why you always set yourself apart from everybody else. People think you’ve got a terrible personality, that you’re unfriendly or grumpy. I heard that about you all the time back in Texas, from my own receptionist, from hospital staff. But do you know what I think?”

“Could I stop you from telling me if I didn’t want to know?”

“Just ask. I’ll respect your wishes.” True to form, he did what she expected. Ignored her for about thirty seconds. Then he finally pushed his glasses back up, specifically so he could look over the tops of them at her.

“Then don’t tell.” He cracked a half smile. “Or do. Whichever makes you happy.”

She laughed. “So that’s how you want to be?” He was like a breath of fresh air. No rules, no concern for what others thought of him. Basically, a man on his own terms, and she liked that.

“No, that’s how I am. I learned a long time ago it’s easier to let people just do what they want to do. It makes them happy, which makes my life a whole lot less complicated when it involves me. Besides, human nature … When someone asks you if you want to know what they think, they’re going to find a way to tell you.”

“Better watch out, Jack. You could be giving me insight into who you are, which means that if I do tell you what I think, I might be saying something you don’t want to hear.”

“Yeah, right. Like I haven’t heard it all before?”

“Not from my perspective, you haven’t.”

“Human nature again. While you think your perspective of me may be unique, it isn’t.”

“But you won’t know that until I tell you what I think.”

“Which leaves the ball in your court. Tell me, or don’t tell me. Either way … ” He held up his journal. “Reading. Seven articles to catch up on. All of them on the HAIs du jour. You know. What’s trendy, what’s new, what’s coming back into style.”

She studied him for a moment, and saw something that surprised her. Devilment, maybe? Was he actually playing with her? “You don’t ever just make the best of it, do you?”

“The best of what?”

“Your situation. The people you’re with. You know, occupy your moment. This is Argentina, Jack. Argentina! It’s Friday night, barely dark. We’re in the holiday season now, and the people in the village are starting their celebrations. Making the best of your situation would be going down to the village, joining in or at least observing from one of the outside tables at a cantina. Talking to people, letting people talk to you. You know, having fun.”

“You think reading medical journals isn’t fun?”

“I think you’re hiding behind a bunch of journals because you know you will have fun if you step out.”

“Then you’re challenging me.”

“Not so much challenging you as …”

“Purposely distracting me.”

“No. I’m telling you what I think.”

“See, I was right. You wanted me to know, so you sneaked it in there when you thought I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Oh, you were paying attention. I doubt there’s ever a time in your life when you don’t.”

He was definitely one tough nut to crack. Still, she wasn’t giving up on him, and it had nothing to do with professional camaraderie. She just plain wanted to see Jack unwind. Wanted to see what he’d be like when his mind wasn’t on such weighty things.

Okay, she was attracted on some weird level. She’d admit it. Back in Texas, the first time she’d met him, that attraction had crept up on her, but there had been nothing she could do about it as he’d been a family member of one of her patients. Yet here, in Argentina, they were doctor to doctor, and that attraction level was turning into something more than she’d expected.

“Oh, and fun is what you want it to be, Jack. If spending a dull evening reading journals is your type of fun, my brother’s got boxes of them when you get done with these. But if you want to go meet the people here, mingle a little, see what makes them who they are, then fun is where I’m going, and you’re invited along—to participate, or simply observe.” Okay, maybe she was trying to distract him a little. Nothing serious, and not for long, though.

“Except I’m on call.”

“So am I, but we’re not going that far. And we’ve got adequate staff on to take care of anything routine that arises.” She rolled over on her right side to face him, and propped her head up with her hand. “At a leisurely stroll we can be back here in ten minutes. Running, in less than two. Any more excuses?”

“Give me a minute to think, okay?”

“Said as the man is sitting up and putting his glasses on the table next to the bed. Which means you’re coming to the village with me. Right?”

“Or getting ready to explore your brother’s boxes of journals.”

“Ah, yes. The way Argentinian Friday nights are meant to be spent.”

“Are you goading me, by any chance?”

“Not goading. Just … ” She paused, thought for a moment, wrinkled her nose when she couldn’t come up with an answer.

“See, I was right, wasn’t I? You are trying to distract me.”

“Or show you something beneficial.”

“Beneficial? How so?”

“A night off clears your head, lets you relax …”

“Oh, so we’re weighing more medical knowledge against a night of bright lights and music? Now I understand.” He gazed across at her for a minute—a solid gaze that gave away no aspect of himself whatsoever—then shut his journal. “I had this relationship once, back in medical school. Fine-looking woman. One of my professors, actually. At the end of her day she was done. She could go home, kick off her shoes, read a book, cook a meal, do whatever she wanted to do.”

“Which was you, I’m guessing.”

He arched a suggestive eyebrow at her. “The only problem with that was at the end of my day I had to work a part-time job to keep myself in medical school. When I wasn’t delivering pizzas, I was studying. When I wasn’t studying, I was sleeping. So I got maybe two hours with her, which gave her cause to think that we could have our benefits

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