Pagan Enchantment

‘I’m not suggesting you welcome her with open arms,’ he rasped. ‘Or that she could ever take the place of your adoptive mother—–’

‘She never could!’

He looked impatient with her vehemence. ‘As I said,’ he drawled hardly, ‘I’m not suggesting that. What I am saying is that maybe you could be friends. Anthea would like that,’ he added softly.

Merry studied his softened expression with suspicion. Could he possibly feel more than a maternal love for his stepmother? He said Anthea was thirty-eight, that made her only four years older than he was, and it also made his father a lot older than his wife.

‘Did she marry your father for his money?’ she asked suspiciously.

His mouth tightened. ‘What sort of question is that?’ Anger oozed out of him.

Her head went back. ‘Did she?’

‘They’ve been married for twelve years,’ he revealed abruptly. ‘I think my father would have realised by now if that were the case.’

‘Twelve years?’ she repeated softly. ‘Then she’s had all that time to think about wanting to know her daughter, so why now? Why doesn’t she just have another child and forget all about me?’

‘I’m beginning to think she would be better doing that myself!’ he rasped.

Merry flushed at his rebuke. ‘I’m sure she would.’

‘And will you forget her too?’ he taunted harshly. ‘Don’t be stupid. Merry. Now that you know of her existence it would be impossible to ignore her. As for why she would want to see you now, I can tell you that she’s always wanted to see you, but that she tried to be fair to you and not interfere in your life while you were still a child.’ His derisive expression showed that he still thought that was so. ‘Last year, when she was in hospital, she told us about you. I think she just wanted us to know that she had a daughter, a daughter she loved.’

‘In hospital?’ Merry repeated sharply. ‘What’s wrong with her?’

‘Why are you interested?’ he mocked.

Merry glared at him. ‘I’m not—–’

‘She had a nervous breakdown,’ he cut in steadily. ‘She’d been living on her nerves for years, and she just suddenly folded up. We finally discovered it was because of you, because of the guilt she still felt for giving you up.’

‘But that was last year?’ she frowned. ‘Surely she’s well now?’

He sighed. ‘Surperficially, yes. But she’s been on pills ever since, and my father fears that she’ll have another breakdown.’

Her mouth twisted. ‘Wouldn’t producing me give her rather a shock? You said she knows nothing of your search for me?’

‘I wish I could believe your concern for her was genuine,’ he snapped angrily. ‘But I know damn well it isn’t.’ He took a card out of his breast pocket and wrote on the back of it. ‘If you ever find yourself with a little compassion to spare call me at this number. But don’t call me otherwise,’ he rasped. ‘Anthea couldn’t cope with your derision and hate. Now walk me to the door, like the polite little girl you’ve obviously been brought up to be,’ he derided hardly, throwing the card down on the coffee table and following her out of the room.

Merry faced him awkwardly at the door, his contempt for her not missing its target.

‘Think it over carefully, Merry,’ he turned to warn her. ‘You could be turning away the love of a woman who needs you, much more than you realise.’

‘She has your father, she has you,’ she told him coldly. ‘I can’t see any possible reason for her needing me, a child she hasn’t seen for twenty years.’

His eyes were glacial. ‘Can’t you?’ he rasped coldly. ‘Then your adoptive parents have failed you.’

‘How dare—–’

‘They haven’t taught you forgiveness,’ he cut into her anger. ‘Goodbye, Meredith. I hoped it wouldn’t be like this.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry.’

She closed the door as he left, but she didn’t move herself. She knew that his regret hadn’t been because he had come here to confirm what he had told her four days ago, she knew it was because he was disappointed in her lack of maturity in accepting what he had told her.

‘He’s wrong, isn’t he, Merry?’ her father questioned quietly behind her.

She spun round, guilty colour flooding her cheeks as she saw her father sitting down partway up the stairs. ‘You heard …?’

‘All of it,’ he nodded. ‘I came back for some papers I’d forgotten. I overheard—I couldn’t help but listen.’

She swallowed hard. ‘Is it true?’

Again he nodded. ‘He was wrong, wasn’t he, Merry?’ he persisted. ‘Your mother and I did teach you forgiveness, didn’t we?’

It was a double-edged question, and she knew he was asking for forgiveness for himself as much as for Anthea Steele. ‘Oh, Dad!’ She ran to him, the tears falling unchecked down her cheeks as she threw herself into his arms.

For a moment he just held her, letting her cry, stroking her hair as he had done when she was a child and needed comforting. ‘It’s all right, baby,’ he finally spoke to her, his own voice thick with emotion. ‘And you are still my baby, Merry, no matter who brought you into this world.’

She looked up at him with shadowed eyes. ‘Why …?’

‘I know,’ he sighed. ‘We should have told you when you were still a child, but we kept putting it off, and putting it off, keeping you as our very own little girl, I think. Then we decided that your eighteenth birthday would be time enough to tell you, when you were old enough to understand that we loved you even though we hadn’t managed to conceive you. But you know what happened just before your birthday,’ he added sadly.

‘Mummy died,’ Merry said shakily, the memory of the horror of that night three weeks before her eighteenth birthday still as vivid. Her mother had been knocked over by a car and killed.

‘Yes,’ her father acknowledged heavily. ‘After that I couldn’t tell you, didn’t have the courage to without your mother. But you are still our daughter, Merry,’ he told her firmly.

‘That’s what I told Gideon Steele—–’

‘But you do have a real mother,’ he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. ‘And right now she sounds as if she needs you. Your mother did all the things for you that you claimed she did, and that forged a bond of love between you that’s so strong it will never be broken. But she didn’t bring you into the world, that was left to some other woman—to Anthea Steele.’

‘But—–’

‘Let me finish, Merry,’ he spoke strongly. ‘Your mother and I love you, you know we always will. Gideon’s stepmother, your real mother, could only have been seventeen when she became pregnant with you. Seventeen, Merry! Do you remember what you felt like at that age—imagine the trauma of expecting a baby when you were no more than a child yourself?’

She thought back to when she had been seventeen, to when she had been in her last year at school, taking her ‘A’ levels. She couldn’t have coped with a baby at that age.

‘You see?’ her father prompted gently as he watched the different emotions flickering across her face.

Merry remained adamant. ‘Then she shouldn’t have got pregnant! She—–’

‘If she hadn’t your mother and I would never have had you to love,’ he pointed out softly. ‘Your mother had every test possible, and she couldn’t have children of her own. Adoption was our only way of ever having a child then. If it weren’t for Anthea Steele, we would never have had you as our daughter.’

Hurt still warred with reason, her pain reflected in her deep green eyes.

‘I think Mrs Steele needs you, Merry,’ her father said softly. ‘I think she’s needed you for some time, for her sanity.’

Fresh tears flooded her eyes, falling softly down her pale cheeks, confusion, and also a reluctant curiosity, reflected in her eyes.

Her father was quick to note the latter emotion, and nodded slowly. ‘No matter what happens you’ll always be our daughter,’ he assured her intently. ‘But I don’t feel it would be disloyal to me to see your real mother. In fact, I’d feel rather proud if you did.’

‘P-proud?’ she repeated shakily.

He smiled. ‘If I do say so myself, we’ve done rather a nice job of bringing you up. I’d like Mrs Steele to see that her sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.’

Merry frowned once again at his choice of words. ‘Sacrifice?’

Her father nodded. ‘You don’t think she found it easy to give you up, do you? Because it wasn’t,’ he shook his head. ‘No woman could give her child up without causing herself pain. And it’s a pain that has obviously never left Anthea Steele.’ He stood up, taking Merry with him. ‘Think about it, darling,’ he advised. ‘I’m not pressurising you to see her if you really don’t think you could cope with it, but I would be very pleased if you could. All right?’

‘All right,’ she nodded tearfully, once again thinking what a wonderful man her father was.

He smiled, wiping away her tears. ‘The stairs is a ridiculous place to have had this conversation,’ his smile deepened to a grin, ‘but I’m glad we’ve had it.’

‘So am I,’ Merry said, and meant it, giving him a quick kiss and a hug before running up the stairs to her bedroom.

A few minutes later she heard the front door close, and knew that her father had gone to work as usual. She could hear the local children playing outside as usual, the occasional car as usual. Only she seemed to have changed. She was no longer just the daughter of Sarah and Malcolm Charles, she was also the daughter of Anthea Steele, the stepdaughter of Samuel Steele, and stepsister to Gideon Steele. Just knowing that changed the whole fabric of her life, made her want to know exactly who she was, and what Anthea Steele was really like.

But she didn’t run headlong into meeting her real mother. She gave herself time to think, to consider the consequences of such a meeting, for them both. For herself she didn’t feel she would be too deeply affected if such a meeting didn’t work out—after all, she still had her father, no matter what. But if Anthea Steele were in the emotional depression her stepson claimed she was then it could have a disastrous effect on her.

Finally it was the curiosity that made her seek out Gideon Steele at the telephone number he had given her. It turned out to be a hotel, and it took several minutes to put through to his room. When there was no answer the hotel telephonist came back on the line.

‘Could I take a message for Mr Steele?’ she offered politely.

Merry chewed on her bottom lip, not sure she would be able to find the courage to call Gideon Steele again. ‘Could you tell him Miss Charles called,’ she said breathlessly.

Now if he still wanted her to meet his stepmother it would be up to him to contact her! Nevertheless, she made the concession of turning down the invitation Vanda passed on about a party at one of their friends’ flats. After all, there was no point in leaving a message that she had called him if she then went out for the evening herself.

By ten o’clock she was beginning to wish she had gone with Vanda; the lateness of the hour seemed to indicate that Gideon Steele had gone out for the entire evening too.

She was in the process of changing to go to the party after all when the doorbell rang. She zipped up her skin-tight red velvet trousers as she ran to answer the door, her red and gold interwoven top also figure-hugging.

Her eyes widened as she found Gideon Steele standing outside the door. Once again his suit was superbly tailored, blue this time, contrasted with a lighter blue shirt, and there was a weary look’ about his eyes and mouth as he raised dark brows at her appearance.

‘Mr Steele …’ she said weakly.

‘You called me—–’

‘I expected you to call back, not just turn up here!’ She was instantly on the defensive, something about this autocratic man making her feel that way whenever she met him. ‘I was just on my way out.’

‘And I thought the outfit was for my benefit,’ he drawled.

Merry flushed. ‘Hardly!’

He gave an impatient sigh, his face darkening to a scowl. ‘Could we talk about this inside?’ he snapped.

She opened the door to him warily, taking her time about closing it again, allowing herself time to collect her thoughts together. Why couldn’t he have just telephoned her? It would have been so much easier talking to him on the telephone, to have agreed to meet Anthea Steele if she hadn’t had to speak to him face to face. She wouldn’t put it past this arrogant devil of a man to know that, after all, he must know the reason she had called him. There could only be one reason!

He was waiting for her in the lounge, his impatience barely concealed as he tapped his fingers on the old stone fireplace that now housed an electric fire, drawing attention to the artistic sensitivity of his hands.

‘I’m to take it you’ve changed your mind about meeting Anthea?’ He finally spoke, impatient with her silence.

Dull colour flooded her cheeks at his directness. ‘Yes,’ she bit out.

He nodded, as if she could make no other answer. ‘You’ve spoken with your father?’

‘Yes.’

His scowl deepened. ‘Aren’t you going to say anything else but “yes”?’ he snapped tersely.

Merry shrugged. ‘There isn’t anything else to say, you seem to know all the answers.’

He raised his eyes heavenwards. ‘Does that mean you can’t at least make a token show at conversation?’

She flushed at his rebuke. ‘It’s all been said. I’ve spoken to my father, we’ve agreed that it isn’t disloyal to him and my mother if I meet my—your stepmother.’ She bit her lip at the angry flare in his eyes as she corrected herself. Anthea Steele wasn’t her mother, and never could be.

‘Very well,’ Gideon Steele rasped tautly. ‘When do you want to meet her?’ His eyes were narrowed.

‘I—I haven’t really thought about it.’ The decision to see her at all had been hard enough. ‘When do you think …?’

‘There’s no time like the present—–’

‘Not now!’ Merry gasped her protest. ‘Not tonight. It’s ten-thirty!’

‘So late!’ he taunted mockingly. ‘You’ve just admitted that you were on your way out, so it isn’t that late after all. But as it happens, I didn’t have right now in mind. I think tomorrow would be a good time.’

It was all happening too fast, was like a snowball rolling down a hillside, getting bigger and bigger as it went—and it threatened to knock her off her feet when it came to an end!

‘Too soon?’

It was the taunting softness of his voice that brought the spark of rebellion into her glittering green eyes. ‘Of course not,’ she answered lightly. ‘Tomorrow will be fine.’

‘Good,’ he nodded his satisfaction, his expression grim. ‘Do you have a valid passport?’

Merry blinked dazedly. ‘Passport?’ she repeated incredulously, not able to keep up with his lightning change of subjects.

‘Yes. Do you?’ his impatience was barely contained.

She frowned. ‘As it happens, yes. I went to Austria with some friends last year. Why do I need a passport?’

‘Anthea and my father are in the middle of a Mediterranean cruise at this moment. Tomorrow morning I’m on my way to join them for the last two weeks. You may as well come with me and meet Anthea then.’

‘Oh, but—I can’t—That’s ridiculous!’ she protested. ‘I can’t just up and leave tomorrow morning for two weeks!’

‘Why not?’ he queried softly. ‘You aren’t back in work yet, I already checked that out. Your father wouldn’t mind, and you’ve already agreed to meet Anthea. So what’s your problem?’ he raised dark brows over eyes the colour of a storm-tossed sea, supremely confident, not understanding that although he might live the jet-set life that she didn’t. She couldn’t possibly just go off with him tomorrow to heaven alone knew where!

‘You’re the problem,’ she told him heatedly.

‘Expecting me to just up and leave at a moment’s notice for—for—–’

‘Athens,’ he supplied calmly.

‘Athens,’ she repeated pointedly. ‘I can’t just—–’

‘Why not?’ he interrupted.

‘Well, because—I just can’t! I don’t have a seat booked on the plane—–’

‘It’s a private jet.’

‘I’m not booked on the ship—–’

‘It’s family owned, there’s always room for the family—and friends,’ he added with a drawl.

So Vanda had got it wrong, it was shipping the Steele family were involved in—or was it shipping and airlines? He said it was a private jet. Probably both, she thought ruefully.

‘Settled?’ he taunted.

She could think of no further objections to make, and her mouth set in a thin disapproving line.

‘The ship will be an easier place for you and Anthea to become acquainted,’ he continued at her silence. ‘It will be more relaxing for you both.’

‘You think so?’ she said stiffly, knowing that at any other time she would have been thrilled at the idea of a Mediterranean cruise. But not in these circumstances.

His icy blue gaze raked over her. ‘I’m hoping so,’ he said pointedly. ‘On the way over here I also gave the problem of upsetting Anthea some thought.’

‘Yes?’ For some reason she suddenly felt wary.

‘You were right about it being a shock for her to have you suddenly produced before her. That wouldn’t be a good idea. My proposal is that you become my girl-friend for two weeks so that you can get to know each other naturally.’

CHAPTER THREE

‘IT will never work,’ Merry was still protesting at such an idea as they drove to the airport the next morning. Although the very fact that she was seated next to Gideon Steele in the sleek Ferrari proved that her protests were only token ones. She knew it, and so did Gideon Steele.

He quirked one dark brow at her. Today he was dressed casually in tight black denims and a black sweat-shirt. He looked ruggedly self-assured, and acted it too. ‘I’ll admit you’re nothing like the women I usually have in my life,’ he drawled. ‘With one rather obvious disadvantage. Although there are plenty of others I can think of,’ he added dryly.

Merry bristled angrily. ‘Such as?’ she prompted softly.

He stared grimly at the road in front of him, driving with the minimum of effort, relaxed to the point of laziness. ‘You have a fiery temper,’ he told her, just as if he were discussing something as innocuous as the weather. ‘You’re stubborn. And you’re full of resentment towards me still.’

‘And that’s just the minor disadvantages!’ she snapped. ‘What’s the main one?’

He gave a fleeting glance in her direction, seeming to take in everything about her, the long gleaming ebony hair, the light make-up that emphasised her high cheekbones and luminous green eyes, the light green tee-shirt that clung to the bareness of her breasts, the fashionably skin-tight denims, her feet thrust into rope sandals. She looked exactly what she was supposed to look, a girl going on holiday. So why was Gideon Steele looking at her like that?

‘Your youth,’ he stated bluntly, his haughty features appearing as if carved from granite in profile. ‘I’m thirty-four, and I’ve never taken out a twenty-year-old!’

‘Except when you were twenty!’

‘Not even then.’ He ignored her sarcasm, and shrugged. ‘I’ve always preferred women in their thirties, women who know what they want from life, and don’t confuse that wanting with love and romance.’ His derision was obvious.

‘You’re talking about sex,’ Merry stated disgustedly.

‘Yes.’

She looked at him with rebellious green eyes. ‘Maybe you should try looking at this from my point of view,’ she said softly, too softly if he did but realise it.

He didn’t. ‘In what way?’

‘That you have one main disadvantage that I don’t like either.’

‘Oh yes?’ he prompted warily, sensing her challenge now.

‘Yes,’ she gave him a too-sweet smile. ‘With the stupidity of youth,’ she mocked, ‘I happen to believe in love and romance. A middle-aged cynic like you wouldn’t normally appeal to me at all!’

There were several minutes stunned silence after this taunting statement, and Merry found herself holding her breath as she waited for his reaction. Suddenly Gideon began to chuckle, a soft throaty sound that developed into a laugh of pure enjoyment.

‘I forgot one thing in that list of disadvantages,’ he still smiled. ‘You’re blunt to the point of rudeness.’

She shrugged, relieved that he hadn’t exploded at her audacity. ‘So are you.’

He turned to include her in his smile, the devastation of blue eyes crinkled at the corners, laughter lines beside his nose and mouth, his teeth very white against his tanned skin, knocking the breath from her body. ‘Would you like to start again, Meredith?’ he queried softly.

At last her breath returned to her, her lungs seeming to be starved of oxygen as she realised just how lethal this man could be if he ever stopped thinking of her as a child. Although that wasn’t very likely!

‘We could try,’ she answered cagily, not sure it was possible for any woman to be friends with this man. ‘Most people call me Merry,’ she invited.

‘And most people—those that don’t think of me as a middle-aged cynic, that is,’ he mocked, ‘call me Gideon. I’m sure you have a beter idea than me what the others call me?’

‘Yes—I mean, no. Er—no,’ she blushed.

‘Sure?’ he derided.

No, she wasn’t sure! She could think of a hundred names she could call him right at this minute, and she wouldn’t need to repeat herself once! ‘No,’ she lied.

Gideon’s mouth quirked as if he knew of the lie. ‘We got off to a bad start,’ he said quietly. ‘And as we’re somehow related through the marriage of our parents I think we should make an effort to get on together.’ He was completely serious now. ‘Especially if it turns out you do want to get to know Anthea as your mother. Being my girl-friend is a safety valve, for both of you. You know that, don’t you?’

‘I don’t see how,’ she frowned.

‘If you decide you can’t accept Anthea knowing you’re her daughter, really feel you can’t love her, then our romance will just end, with Anthea none the wiser as to your identity.’

She could see that, but she still frowned. ‘You said I look like—like her,’ she reminded him. ‘What if she makes the connection straight away?’

‘She won’t,’ Gideon assured her confidently. ‘Once you were out of that disgusting make-up I looked for a likeness to Anthea. I found it only because I was looking for it. If you’re my girl-friend Anthea wouldn’t even think of the possibility of your being her daughter. She’s given up hope of ever finding you,’ he added huskily.

Merry swallowed hard, feeling Anthea Steele’s despair in Gideon’s concern. ‘Did she look for me?’

‘Once you were sixteen, yes,’ he nodded. ‘And while a child can trace his or her parent, the parent doesn’t really have the same privilege. She gave up her child, the child was happily adopted. And unless you made a claim to meet your real mother then Anthea’s longing to know you would remain unanswered. I’m afraid my own investigations weren’t made as fairly as Anthea’s,’ he told her drily.

No, she could imagine Gideon would have little patience with the rules and regulations in life, would brush them aside if they got in his way—as he had when tracing her.

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