A Knight for Nurse Hart

Who was she trying to kid? She’d never be the person she had been before. Hadn’t her counselor drilled that fact into her head? There was no going back. The only option was to move forward.

Firming her resolve, she climbed from the car and headed up to her second-story apartment. She smiled when her cat, Spice, meowed softly and came running over to greet her, rubbing up against her leg with a satisfied purr. She picked up the cat and buried her face in the soft fur. She’d adopted Spice from the local shelter a few weeks ago and had not regretted it. Coming home to an empty apartment night after night had been difficult. Spice made coming home much easier. And the cat gave her someone to talk to.

She threw a small beanbag ball past Spice—the goofy cat actually liked to play fetch like a dog—and tried to unwind from the long shift. But the relaxation tips her therapist had suggested didn’t help and she still had trouble falling asleep. She’d taken to sleeping on her sofa, and as she stared at the ceiling, she thought about her counselor’s advice to confide in someone. She knew her counselor might be right, but she just couldn’t make herself take that step.

If she told one of her friends what had happened, they’d look at her differently. With horror. With pity. Asking questions. She shivered with dread. No, she couldn’t stand the thought of anyone knowing the gory details. Especially when she couldn’t remember much herself.

The one person she might have confided in was Caleb. If he’d trusted her. Which he didn’t.

The events of that night when he’d looked at her with frank disgust still had the power to hurt her. She’d gone out to a local pub with a group of ED staff nurses and physicians after work. Jake, one of the new ED residents, had flirted with her. She hadn’t really thought too much about it until the moment she’d realized he’d had too much to drink. He’d leaned in close, with his arm around the back of her chair, trying to kiss her.

Before she could gently, but firmly push him away, Caleb had walked in. She’d blushed because she knew the situation looked bad, but he hadn’t given her a chance to explain. Instead, he’d accused her of seeing Jake behind his back.

She’d seen the flash of hurt in his eyes, but at the same time she hadn’t appreciated Caleb’s willingness to think the worst of her. She’d talked to him the next day, and had tried to explain. But when he’d sounded distant, and remote, she’d given up, telling him it might be best to take a break from their relationship for a while.

She’d been stunned when he’d agreed.

Pounding a fist into her pillow, she turned on the sofa and tried to forget about Caleb. With everything that had happened, she’d put distance between herself and her friends.

Her closest friend, Elana Schultz, had recently married ED physician Brock Madison. In the months since their wedding she hadn’t seen as much of Elana. They were still friends, but Elana had a new life now with Brock.

When Elana had assumed Raine had taken the job in Minor Care to avoid Caleb, she hadn’t told her friend any different.

It was better than Elana knowing the truth.

The next morning Raine’s phone woke her from a deep sleep. She patted the mound of linens on her sofa, searching for her cellphone. “Hello?”

“Raine? It’s Elana. I just had to call to tell you the news.”

“News?” Elana’s dramatically excited tone brought a smile to her face. She pushed a hand through her hair and blinked the sleep from her eyes. “What news?”

“We heard the baby’s heart beat!” Elana exclaimed, her excitement contagious. “You should have seen the look on Brock’s face, he was so enthralled. He brought tears to my eyes. You’d never guess he once decided to live his life without children.”

“He was delusional, obviously,” Raine said dismissively. “And that was long before he met you. I’m so excited for you, Elana. Did you and Brock change your mind about finding out the baby’s gender?”

“No, we still want the baby’s sex to be a surprise. But my due date is confirmed—five months and one week to go.”

Raine mentally calculated. It was the seventh of June. “November fifteenth?”

“Yes, give or take a week. Brock is painting the baby’s room like a madman—he’s worried we won’t have everything ready in time,” Elana said with a laugh. “I keep telling him there’s no rush.”

“Knowing Brock, he’ll have it ready in plenty of time.” Raine tried to hide the wistful tone of her voice. Watching Elana and Brock together was wonderful and yet painful at the same time. They were so in love, they glowed.

If only she were worthy of that kind of love. She pushed aside the flash of self-pity. “Do you have time to meet for lunch?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry Raine. I’d love to, but I agreed to volunteer at the New Beginnings clinic this afternoon. Can I take a rain-check?”

“Sure.” Raine forced lightness into her tone. The New Beginnings clinic was a place where low-income patients could be seen at no cost to them. She’d volunteered there in the past, but not recently. “No problem. Take care and I’m sure I’ll see you at work one of these days.”

“I know, it’s been for ever, hasn’t it?” Elana asked. Raine knew it was exactly one month and three days since they’d worked together. Since her life had irrevocably changed. “You’ve been working in the minor care area and I’ve been cutting back my hours now that I’m pregnant. The morning sickness has been awful. Brock is being a tad overly protective lately, but I’m not going to complain. I’m scheduled to work this weekend.”

“Great. I’m working the weekend, too and I’m back on the schedule in the trauma bay. I’ll see you then.” Raine hung up the phone, feeling a bit deflated. Not that she begrudged her friend one ounce of happiness. Elana had gone through some rough times, too.

Elana had moved on from her painful past, and Raine was sure she could too. One day at a time.

Since the last thing she needed was more time on her hands, Raine forced herself to climb out of bed. There was no point in wallowing in self-pity for the rest of the day.

She needed to take action. To focus on the positive. She’d taken to volunteering at the animal shelter on her days off, as dealing with animals was somehow easier lately, than dealing with people.

It was time to visit her furry friends who were always there when she needed them.

Caleb pulled up in front of his father’s house and swallowed a deep sigh. His father had called to ask for help, after injuring his ankle after falling off a ladder. His father was currently living alone, as his most recent relationship had ended in an unsurprising break-up. Caleb was relieved that at least this time his father had been smart enough to avoid marrying the woman. With four divorces under his belt, you’d think his father would learn. But, no, he kept making the same mistakes over and over again.

Leaving Caleb to pick up the pieces.

He walked up to the house, frowning a bit when he saw the front door was open. He knocked on the screen door, before opening it. “Dad? Are you in there?”

“Over here, Caleb,” his father called out. His father’s black Lab, Grizzly, let out a warning bark, but then came rushing over to greet him as he walked through the living room into the kitchen. He took a moment to pet the excited dog, and then crossed over to where his father was seated at the table, with his ankle propped on the chair beside him. “Thanks for coming.”

“Sure.” He bent over his father’s ankle, assessing the swollen joint, tenderly palpating the bruised tissue around the bone. “Are you sure this isn’t broken?”

“Told you I took X-rays at the shelter, didn’t I?” his father said in a cantankerous tone. “It’s not broken, it’s only sprained. Did you bring the crutches?”

“Yes, they’re in the car.” But he purposely hadn’t brought them in. He’d asked his father to come into the ED while he was working, but did he listen? No. His father had taken his own X-rays on the machine he used for animals. Caleb would rather have looked at the films himself.

“Why did ya leave them out there? Go get ‘em.”

Caleb propped his hands on his hips and scowled at his father. “Dad, be reasonable. Take a couple of days off. Being on crutches around animals is just asking for trouble. Surely the shelter can do without you for a few days?”

“I told you, there’s some sort of infection plaguing several of the new animals. I retired from my full-time veterinary practice last year, didn’t I? I only go to the shelter three days a week and every other Saturday. Surely that’s not too much for an old codger like me.” His dad yanked on the fabric of his pants leg to help lift his injured foot down on the floor. “If you won’t drive me, I’ll arrange for a cab.”

Caleb closed his eyes and counted to ten, searching for patience. He didn’t remember ever calling his dad an old codger, but nevertheless a shaft of guilt stabbed deep. He’d promised to help out more, but hadn’t made the time to come over as often as he should have. “I said I’d take you and I will. But, Dad, you have to try taking it easy for a while. Every time I stop by I find you doing something new. Trying to clean out the gutters on that rickety old ladder was what caused your fall in the first place.”

“Well, someone had to do it.”

This time Caleb counted to twenty. “You never asked me to help you with the gutters,” he reminded his father, striving for a calm tone. “And if you’d have waited, I could have done the job when I came over to mow your lawn on the weekend.”

His father ignored him, gingerly rising to his feet, leaning heavily on the back of the kitchen chair to keep the pressure off his sore ankle. Grizzly came over to stand beside him, as if he could somehow assist. “I’m going to need those crutches to get outside.”

Arguing with his father was about as effective as herding cats. His father simply ignored the things he didn’t want to deal with. “Sit down. I’ll get them.” Caleb strode back through the house, muttering under his breath, “Stubborn man.”

He grabbed the crutches out of the back of the car and slammed the door with more force than was necessary. He and his father had always been at odds and the passing of the years hadn’t changed their relationship much. Caleb’s mother had taken off, abandoning him at the tender age of five. One would think that fact alone would have brought him and his dad closer together. But his father hadn’t waited very long before bringing home future stepmothers in an attempt to replace his first wife. At first the relationships had been short-lived, but then he’d ended up marrying a few.

None of them stayed very long, of course. They left, just like his mother, for a variety of reasons. Because they realized being a vet didn’t bring in a boat-load of money, especially when you were already paying alimony for a previous marriage. Or they found someone else. Or simply got bored with playing step-mom to someone else’s kid.

Whatever the reason, the women his father picked didn’t stick around. Carmen was the one who’d stayed the longest, almost three years, but in the end she’d left, too.

Yeah, his father could really pick them.

“Here are the crutches,” he said as he entered the kitchen. “Now, be patient for a minute so I can measure them. They have to fit your frame.”

For once his father listened. After he’d adjusted the crutches to his father’s height, the older man took them and leaned on them gratefully. “Thanks,” he said gruffly.

“You’re welcome.” Caleb watched his father walk slowly across the room, making sure he could safely use them. Grizz got in the way once, but then quickly learned to avoid them. Crutches weren’t as easy to use as people thought, and Caleb worried about his father’s upper-arm strength. But his father was still in decent shape, and seemed to manage them well enough. Reluctantly satisfied, he followed his father outside, giving Grizz one last pat on the head.

The shelter was only ten miles away. Neither one of them was inclined to break the silence as Caleb navigated the city streets.

He pulled up in front of the building and shut the car. “I’ll come inside with you,” he offered.

“Sure.” His father’s mood had brightened the closer they’d gotten to the shelter, and Caleb quickly figured out the elder man needed this volunteer work more than he’d realized.

More guilt, he thought with a slight grimace. He held the front door of the building open, waiting for his father to cross the threshold on his crutches before following him in.

“Dr. Frank! What happened?”

Caleb froze when he saw Raine rushing toward his father. She didn’t seem to have noticed him as she placed an arm around his father’s thin shoulders.

“Twisted my ankle, that’s all. Nothing serious.” His father patted her hand reassuringly. “Now, tell me, Raine, how’s Rusty doing today? Is he any better?”

“He seems a little better, but really, Dr. Frank, should you be here? Maybe you should have stayed at home to rest.” Raine lifted her gaze and he knew she’d spotted him when she paled, her dark red hair a stark contrast to her alabaster skin. “Caleb. What are you doing here?”

“Dropping off my father.” He couldn’t help the flash of resentment at how friendly his father and Raine seemed to be. She had never mentioned working at the animal shelter during those two months they’d dated. But here she was, standing with her arm protectively around his father, as if they were life-long buddies.

A foreign emotion twisted in his gut. Jealousy. For a moment he didn’t want to acknowledge it. But as he absorbed the camaraderie between his father and Raine, he couldn’t deny the truth.

His father had grown closer to Raine in the time since she’d pushed him away.

Raine couldn’t believe that Dr. Frank was actually Caleb’s father. She’d never really known if Frank was the retired vet’s first or last name, and hadn’t asked. They’d had an unspoken agreement not to pry into each other’s personal lives. But now that she saw the two of them in the same room, the resemblance was obvious. Dr. Frank’s hair was mostly gray, whereas Caleb’s was dark brown, but the two men shared the same stormy gray eyes and aristocratic nose. Of course, Caleb was taller and broader across the shoulders but his dad was no slouch. In fact, she thought Dr. Frank was rather handsome, all things considered.

Caleb would age well, if his father’s looks were any indication. And for a moment regret stabbed deep. As much as she needed to move forward, it was difficult not to mourn what might have been.

“What time do you want me to pick you up?” Caleb asked his father.

“I can give Dr. Frank a ride home if he needs one,” she quickly offered.

Caleb’s eyebrows rose in surprise, as if he suspected she had some sort of ulterior motive. Was he assuming she was trying to get back into his good graces by helping his father? If things were different, she might have been tempted.

“That’s very kind of you, Raine,” Dr. Frank said. She could have sworn the older man’s gaze was relieved when he turned back toward his son. “There’s no need for you to come all the way back out here, Raine will drive me home. Thanks for the ride, Caleb. I’ll see you this weekend, all right?”

“Yeah. Sure.” For a moment Caleb stared at her, as if he wanted to say something more, but after a tense moment he turned away. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from calling out to him as he headed for the door. “See you later, Dad,” he tossed over his shoulder.

He didn’t acknowledge Raine as he left. And even though she knew it was her fault, since taking a break from their relationship had been her idea, she was ridiculously hurt by the snub.

Trying to shake off the effects of her less than positive interaction with Caleb, she faced Dr. Frank. “So, are you ready to get to work?”

Caleb’s father’s glance was sharp—she should have known he wouldn’t miss a thing. “Do you and my son know each other?”

She tried to smile. So much for their rule to stay away from personal things. “Yes, we both work in the emergency department at Trinity Medical Center,” she admitted. “Caleb is a great doctor, everyone enjoys working with him.”

“Everyone except you?”

She flushed, hating to think she’d been that transparent. Especially when she liked working with Caleb. Too much for her own good. “I like working with him, but I’m thinking of changing my career to veterinary medicine,” she joked, in an attempt to lighten things up. “Maybe you’ll give me some tips, hmm? Come on, let’s head to the back. I think I should take a look at that ankle of yours.”

“Caleb already looked at it.” Dr. Frank waved her off. “I’m more interested in the animals. I’m going to need you to bring them to me in the exam room as my mobility is limited.”

“No problem.” Raine wanted to help, but as he deftly maneuvered the crutches, she realized he was doing fine on his own.

Dozens of questions filtered through her mind, but she didn’t immediately voice them. Caleb obviously hadn’t mentioned her to his father during the time they’d been seeing each other, which bothered her. Especially since he hadn’t even talked about his father very much.

What else didn’t she know about him? And why did it matter? What she and Caleb had was over. For good. No matter how much she missed him.

Dr. Frank didn’t notice her preoccupation with his son. His attention was quickly focused on the sick animals.

She brought Rusty into the room, the Irish setter puppy they’d rescued three weeks ago. She’d fallen for Rusty in a big way, especially when everyone teased her that Rusty’s dark red coat was the same color as her hair. But unfortunately the lease on her apartment didn’t allow dogs, which was why she’d taken Spice, the calico cat, instead.

But when she did have enough money saved to buy a house, she planned on adopting a dog, too. Hopefully one just as sweet tempered and beautiful as Rusty.

“There, now, let me take a listen to your heart,” Dr. Frank murmured as he stroked Rusty’s fur. The dog had been in bad shape when he’d been picked up as a stray, and he’d shied away, growling at men, which made them think he might have been abused. Raine didn’t know how long he’d been on the streets, but he’d been dangerously malnourished when he’d arrived. And he’d been sick with some sort of infection that had soon spread to the animals housed in the kennels near him.

She held the dog close, smiling a little when he licked her arm. “You’re such a good puppy, aren’t you?”

“He’s definitely doing better on the antiviral meds we’ve been giving him,” Dr. Frank announced, finishing his exam. “Let’s move on to Annie, the golden retriever.”

Volunteering at the shelter had saved her from losing her mind in her dark memories. Raine found she loved working with the animals. The hours she spent at the shelter flew by. She barely had enough time to run home to change, after dropping off Dr. Frank, before heading off to work.

As she entered the emergency department, she saw Caleb standing in the arena. When his gaze locked on hers, her stomach knotted with tension. Was she really up for this? Working in Trauma with Caleb? She quickly glanced around, looking for the charge nurse, determined to avoid being assigned to his team.

Unfortunately, there were only two trauma-trained nurses on duty for the second shift, so she had no choice but to work in the trauma bay. And, of course, Caleb was assigned to the trauma bay as well.

Her stomach continued to churn as she took report from the offgoing nurse. As they finished, a wave of nausea hit hard, and she put a hand over her stomach, gauging the distance to the bathroom.

She swallowed hard, trying to figure out what was wrong. Could she have somehow gotten the virus that seemed to be plaguing the animals at the shelter? She’d have to remember to ask Dr. Frank if animal-to-people transfer was even possible.

Sipping white soda from the nearby vending machine helped and Raine tried to concentrate on her work. They’d transferred their recent patient up to the ICU but within moments they’d received word that Lifeline, the air-rescue helicopter, had been called to the scene of a crash involving car versus train.

Sarah, the other trauma nurse on duty, was restocking the supplies so Raine used the few moments of free time to head into the bathroom.

As she fought another wave of nausea, she leaned over the sink and thought of Elana. This must be how her friend had felt with her horrible bouts of morning sickness.

Her eyes flew open at the implication and she stared at her pale reflection in shock. Could it be? No. Oh, no. She couldn’t handle this.

Her knees went weak and she sank down onto the seat of the commode. Counting backwards, the sickness in her stomach threatened to erupt as she realized it had been just over four weeks since her last period.

Chapter Three

DEAR God, what if she was pregnant?

No, she couldn’t be. There was just no way she could handle this right now. Especially considering the circumstances under which she might have conceived. She shied away from the dark memories.

She didn’t have time to fall apart. Not when there was a serious trauma on the way. Car versus train, and the train always won in that contest. She took several deep breaths, pulling herself together with an effort.

She couldn’t think about this right now, she just couldn’t. It was possible she had flu, nothing more. She had to stop jumping to conclusions. She’d been through a lot of stress lately. Far more stress than the average person had to deal with. There were plenty of reasons for her period to be late. And it wasn’t really late. She could get her period any day now.

But the nagging fear wouldn’t leave her alone.

She used the facilities and then splashed cold water on her face in a vain attempt to bring some color back to her cheeks. She stopped in the staff lounge to rummage for some crackers to nibble on as she made her way back to the trauma bay.

The pager at her waist beeped. She glanced at the display. Thirty-five-year-old white male with multiple crushing injuries to torso and lower extremities. Intubated in the field, transfusing four units of O negative blood. ETA five minutes.

Five minutes. She took another sip of white soda and finished the cracker. She couldn’t decide if she should be upset or relieved when the cracker and white soda combination helped settle her stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Caleb demanded when she entered the trauma bay a few moments later. “You look awful.”

“Gee, thanks so much,” she said sarcastically. “I really needed to hear that.”

“I’m sorry, but I wanted to make sure that you’re okay to work,” Caleb amended. “The trauma surgeon has requested a hot unload. We need to get up to the helipad, they’re landing in two minutes.”

“I’m okay to work,” she repeated firmly, determined to prove it by not falling apart as she had last night. Every day was better than the last one—hadn’t her counselor stressed the importance of moving forward? She was living proof the strategy worked. “Let’s go.”

She and Caleb took the trauma elevators, located in the back of the trauma bay, up to the helipad on the roof of the hospital. At first the confines of the elevator bothered her, but she inhaled the heady scent of Caleb’s aftershave, which pushed the bad memories away and reminded her of happier times. When they reached the helipad, they found the trauma surgeon, Dr. Eric Sutton, was already standing there, waiting. Lifting her hand to shield her eyes against the glare of the sun, Raine watched as the air-rescue chopper approached. The noise of the aircraft made it impossible to speak.

When the helicopter landed, they waited until they saw the signal from the pilot to approach, ducking well below the blades. The Lifeline transport team, consisting of a physician and a nurse, helped lift the patient out of the back hatch of the chopper.

“He’s in bad shape, losing blood fast,” the Lifeline physician grimly informed them. “In my opinion, you need to take him directly to the OR.”