Lone Star Holiday

Heart in her throat, Lorrie Ann dropped the plate on the counter and rushed to grab Celeste before she fell. “I think it would be better if you didn’t stand on a swivel chair.” With a heavy sigh, she started picking up the cups.

Celeste joined her. “I’m sorry, Miss Lorrie Ann. My sister says I need to learn to sit still.” Her voice sounded subdued.

With a forced smile, she faced the little girl. “No harm done.” She patted her on the head. “It’s okay, rug rat.” They put the last cup back on the counter. “See, everything’s back in place and nothing broken. But I would suggest not standing on moving chairs.” She patted the seat. “Cool tower, by the way.”

“Thanks.” The smile beamed again.

“Here you go. Time to eat.” She scanned her brain for a safe topic. “I think I saw grapes. Do you want some?” She went back to the refrigerator and pulled out a clear bag full of the fruit. While washing them, she glanced out the big picture window, hoping to see her aunt. She sighed at the empty driveway and tore off a small bunch of grapes for Celeste.

“Oh, I can’t eat whole grapes. Daddy says they have to be cut in half so I don’t choke. Hot dogs, too.” She tossed a cubed potato in her mouth. “Why do they call the purple crayon grape when grapes are green? Will you please cut them? Daddy won’t let me use a knife.”

“Sure.” She pulled a small knife from the same drawer they had been in twelve years ago.

“I tell Daddy that only babies eat cut grapes, but he says I’ll always be his baby.” She stuck out her tongue and scrunched her little nose.

“In Los Angeles, cut grapes are gourmet food. I only eat sliced grapes myself.” She pulled a white plastic knife from the drawer and handed it over to Celeste. “Here, you can use a plastic knife.”

Together they sliced the grapes. Lorrie Ann tossed one up to catch in her mouth, but it bounced off her chin, causing the sweetest giggle to come from the other side of the counter. She closed one eye and looked at the little girl with the other. “Hey! Are you laughing at me?”

Celeste sat up straight. Her ponytail swung with the shake of her head while her shoulders trembled as she failed to hold down her laughter.

Both turned at the sound of the screen door opening.

“Aunt Maggie, look! Miss Lorrie Ann taught me how to make gourmet grapes.”

“She has always been very creative.” She smiled at them then headed to the red wall phone. “Give me a minute. I need to start the prayer chain and call your grandpa.”

“He’s at the five hundred pasture today, Aunt Maggie.”

Maggie ran her finger down a list of names. “Well, then, I’ll just leave him a message.” She pushed the buttons on the phone. Bare spots on the twisted ten-foot cord exposed colored cables.

Lorrie Ann smiled. “Do you ever think about getting a cordless?”

“Oh, Yolanda bought me one of those, but I lose it all the time. This one works just fine.” As she listened to the rings on the other end, she glanced around the kitchen. “Where’d Celeste go?”

With a gasp, Lorrie Ann turned to the empty chair the little girl had been sitting on, and her heart froze in her chest. How did she lose one little person? “Celeste?”

She moved through the large archway that led to the family room. “Celeste?” Behind her, she heard muffled giggling. Shooting her aunt a questioning look, she only received a smile and shrug. Aunt Maggie turned to finish her phone call.

So, she was on her own again with the small creature. “Celeste, where are you?” She started scanning the floor and under the counter.

Huddled in a ball under the ten-foot pine table, Celeste giggled again.

Lorrie Ann went to the floor. “May I ask why you’re hiding in the chair legs?”

“I’m a rabbit and this is my home.”

“How about a movie?” Aunt Maggie asked from across the room.

Celeste wiggled her nose. “Okay.” She started hopping out then stopped. “You’ll stay with me?”

The same golden-brown eyes Lorrie Ann had looked into this morning pierced her heart. What would it be like to see your own features in a child? She doubted she’d ever know.

“Sure.”

Less than fifteen minutes into some princess movie, Celeste fell asleep, curled up like a kitten with her head resting on Lorrie Ann’s thigh. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back on the overstuffed leather sofa.

Aunt Maggie walked into the living room. “I figured she’d go to sleep.” One click of the remote and the princess’s song went silent. “Now, Lorrie Ann Ortega, you will tell me what happened that brought you home.”

Lorrie Ann kept her eyes closed and wondered how long she could fake sleep.

“I know you aren’t asleep.”

Apparently less than a minute. With a heavy sigh, she opened her eyes.

“I needed to get away. Once I was on IH 10, coming here just felt right.” She rubbed her arms and studied the sleeping child in her lap. “I really don’t want to talk about it right now. I have the holidays off, so here I am. After Christmas I’ll go back to L.A. recharged and ready to take on the world again.”

“Is it your fiancé?” Her aunt’s voice turned quiet. “Does it have anything to do with that bruise?”

“Now that I’m here I’m fine.” As long as I don’t become my mother. “You don’t need to worry about Brent. That’s definitely off, no regrets, no maybes about it. We are over.”

“Okay, then.” She reached over and picked up her quilting hoop. “This is your home. I’m glad you’re here.” She placed her purple reading glasses low on her nose and contemplated the stitching in her hands. “We can throw a party.”

Lorrie Ann groaned and ran her hands through her hair. Ugh, she needed a shower. She rested her head on the back of the sofa. “There are people who won’t be happy I’m back.” The one thing she regretted most was bringing shame to Aunt Maggie and Uncle Billy. “You know I didn’t leave on the best of terms.”

Aunt Maggie slipped off her glasses and moved to sit next to Lorrie Ann. Reaching past Celeste, she put her hand on Lorrie Ann’s shoulder. “Mija, I have prayed every day that God brings you back to your family.” A soft smile eased its way across her milk-chocolate skin. She pushed a piece of hair away from Lorrie Ann’s face. “Let the petty high-school drama go.”

At her aunt’s soft touch, Lorrie Ann felt like a little girl again.

“When you’re ready, you can talk to me.” She gently squeezed her shoulder. “But know this...you sitting here is an answer to many, many prayers.”

Uncomfortable with the love in her aunt’s gaze, Lorrie Ann turned her head and closed her eyes to block the feelings of guilt. Instead, she focused on the heartbeat of the sleeping child in her lap.

Maggie stood and placed her quilting hoop back in the basket. “I need to call around to make sure Amy’s parents have meals.”

Lorrie Ann relaxed and closed her eyes again but couldn’t shut off her brain.

Her hand moved to stroke the silky blond hair of the little person in her lap. She smiled, thinking of Celeste’s father.

Her gaze fell across the family pictures on the bookshelf. Smiling faces of her many aunts and uncles along with all the cousins crowded together in mismatched frames. She lingered over the only picture of her with her mother. Blue-and-purple icing smeared on both their faces at her tenth birthday, the last birthday she’d spent with her mom. Happiness filled the face of the little girl she had been, thinking her mother would stay.

She realized returning to the farm, she wanted to find the family she never really knew and the only place she had felt God.

The image of John holding his daughters crossed her mind and melted her heart. What would it have been like to have that kind of father? Her mother had refused to say her father’s name. Lorrie Ann had eventually stopped asking.

She watched her manicured nail make little circles on Celeste’s shirt. John’s life reflected God. Hers? Not so much.

She rested her cheek on her other hand supported by the arm of the sofa. Even though she shouldn’t want to see more of his dream-changing smiles, she found herself listening for an old blue truck’s tires on the gravel driveway.

Chapter Four

John turned the key and shut the engine off. Sitting in the silence, he watched the full moon reflect over the river below. Rachel had fallen asleep on the way home, her leg now in a black stabilizer from ankle to the top of her thigh. In a few days when the swelling went down, he’d have to take her back for the cast. Her apologies had run nonstop. Several times, he reassured her it would be fine, but his preteen seemed to pick up his doubts.

All the problems bounced around his brain. With his eyes closed, he pressed his forehead against the cracked steering wheel.

“God, I know worry is a sin. Please show me how I can be the pastor people need and the father my girls deserve.”

The to-do list started clicking off in his head. The youth building still needed funds, his house sat gutted and Dub needed help with the ranch. The big annual Christmas pageant loomed around the corner, with no one to direct it. He sighed. Now Rachel required extra help, and his babysitter, Amy, was out while she recovered.

Deep in thought, he jumped when a hand pounded on his window. He opened the door, but before he could move, Celeste had climbed into his lap. Her small hands framed his face.

“Hello, Daddy.”

He smiled and covered her precious fingers with his hands. “Hey, monkey. How are you?” He turned to Lorrie Ann, Celeste’s late-night escort, and grinned. Was it only this morning they’d first met? “Did she cause you any problems?”

She shook her head. “No, we had fun.”

“Daddy, I was good, and Miss Lorrie Ann let me use a knife.”

He shot a heated glare to the woman who had kept creeping into his mind all day. “You let a five-year-old use a knife?”

“No, no, it was a plastic knife. You know, the small picnic ones.”

“Daddy, I’m six now. I turned six at the football game. I could cut my own grapes.” She rested her head on his shoulder, facing her sister. “What’s wrong with her leg?”

“It’s broken. I need to get her into the house.”

“Come here, rug rat. Let your dad out of the truck, and we can get you all settled in the cabin.”

His daughter giggled as she reached for Lorrie Ann’s hand.

“She calls me rug rat, Daddy, because they’re cute, real smart and are always moving around.” She swung her arm back and forth. “Right, Miss Lorrie Ann?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Lorrie Ann brought her face back to his. “Aunt Maggie sent some dinner over.” With her free hand, she lifted a foil-covered plate.

Celeste led Lorrie Ann toward the porch. The security light automatically flooded the area as they reached the steps.

“It’s unlocked.” They went inside as he made his way around the truck feeling much older than his thirty-one years.

He opened the passenger door and slipped his arms under Rachel. Careful of her leg, he pulled her to him. She was eleven now. For a moment, he pulled her closer and closed his eyes. When was the last time he had carried her from the car? So many moments in life just slipped past without thought or fanfare.

Headlights came up the driveway and parked behind his truck. His head slumped for a minute as he hoped it was not some concerned member of his congregation, but then he prayed for forgiveness and patience.

“Are our girls all right?”

Relief relaxed his shoulders as his father-in-law’s baritone voice came from the dark. He should have known a phone call wouldn’t be enough.

“Hey, Dub. Celeste doesn’t have a scratch on her. Rachel has a broken leg. Amy has the most injuries, with a broken collarbone and concussion. They kept her overnight.”

“Daddy?” Rachel’s head lifted.

“Hey, sweetheart, we’re home. And look, Grandpa’s here.”

“Hi, Grandpa.” Her head went back to his chest.

Dub followed, carrying the silver crutches and closing all the doors behind them.

John scanned the open living room and kitchen area. He grimaced at the shoes, books and crayons scattered on the area rug. The kitchen had a stack of dirty dishes in the sink, and it looked as if the girls had been making sandwiches before they left for town.

“Grandpa!” Celeste flew down the wrought-iron spiral staircase.

“Celeste Rebecca Levi, slow down.” She froze midstride, and he noticed Lorrie Ann’s eyes go wide. He must have managed to use his best angry-dad voice. Somewhere in the past couple hours, he’d switched to autopilot. He felt empty. He eased Rachel to one side of the large L-shaped sofa and moved a cushion under her leg.

“Sorry, Daddy. I wanted to show Miss Lorrie Ann my room.” With a hand on the railing, she took one slow step down. Dub went to the stairs and picked her up, swinging her above his head.

“Higher, Grandpa, higher!” Her laughter filled the cabin.

“Dub, you’re not helping.” John went to the kitchen to retrieve a bag of frozen peas.

“Humph.” He pulled his granddaughter close and tickled her before he looked up at Lorrie Ann. “Hello, I’m Dub Childress.” Celeste wrapped herself around his barrel chest and pushed his gray felt hat back, kissing his cheek.

“Grandpa, this is Miss Lorrie Ann. She’s my new friend. She let me cut my own grapes.”

“Maggie and Billy’s girl? I remember you. Weren’t you a few grades behind Carol?”

“Yes, sir. Carol Childress? Oh, she... I’m sorry.”

John watched as awareness then pity filled her gray eyes. He knew what would come next. On cue, she became awkward as she looked around the room, moving to the double glass doors.

“This is not what I expected when I heard they had added cabins to the farm. It’s beautiful and comfortable.” She ran her fingers along the rock edge of the fireplace, stopping in front of the family picture he had on the mantel. She quickly turned.

“I thought they were summer rentals. I didn’t know they had them rented for living.”

“Maggie was nice enough to take us in when we had nowhere to go.” John adjusted the frozen bag on Rachel’s leg. “Dub gave us the old homestead to live in, but it needed to be gutted and made livable, so we are here until I can get that finished.”

Lorrie Ann hurried past him. “Oh, Maggie said to make sure you ate dinner.”

In the kitchen, she started making beeping noises with the microwave.

He’d grown accustomed to women trying to feed him, but it was a first for one to take over his kitchen.

“You don’t need to heat that up for me.”

“Have you eaten?”

“No.”

“Well, then, you’re getting a warm meal. I promised Aunt Maggie.”

Dub chuckled and John shot him a glare. Dub’s bushy gray brows shot up but he remained silent.

Celeste’s head jerked and her eyes popped open.

“Thank you for taking care of Celeste.” John watched his baby girl fight sleep and smiled.

Dub stood. “She can be a handful. That’s for sure.” With those words, he laid Celeste in the wingback chair. “Well, I just wanted to see the little bits and make sure they were okay.” He moved to the entryway and paused. “If you need anything, John, call me. I’m heading to Houston tomorrow, but I can cancel.”

“Dub, go on to Houston. We’re fine.” He pushed Rachel’s hair back from her face.

“Nice seeing you again, Mr. Childress.” Lorrie Ann had moved to the sink and started running water.

“Please call me Dub. And welcome back. I know your aunt must sure be happy.”

“Lorrie Ann, you’re not washing the dishes.” John tried to make his voice sound firm.

“Um...yes, I am.”

Dub chuckled again and headed out the door.

“Really, Lorrie Ann, you don’t have to do the dishes.”

The microwave went off, and she turned to get the food out. Setting the plate on the counter, she dug around for some silverware.

“The girls are asleep. Come eat or Aunt Maggie will get mad at both of us.”

He sat and attempted to give her a smile, but it felt more like a halfhearted contortion.

“Anything else I can do for you tonight?” She looked around the small kitchen.

“No, we’re good, and you can report back that I ate.” He saluted her with his fork before taking a bite.

After a few more mouthfuls, he set the fork down and made sure he had solid eye contact with Lorrie Ann before saying anything else. “Again, I want to thank you for keeping Celeste. She can be a bit high-strung, and some people find her energy level overwhelming.”

“I deal with musicians and agents on a daily basis. Handling high energy and mood swings is my specialty.”

Her sweet smile was at odds with the image he had of a music-industry insider from California. As she walked out of the cabin, John followed her. “You must be exhausted driving in from California today. Have you spoken to your mother yet?”

She stopped at the steps with her hand on the railing, turning back to him. “My mother? How do you know Sonia? I haven’t heard from her in over three years.”

“Oh.” He didn’t know what to say. Sonia had wanted to be sure of her sobriety before talking to Lorrie Ann. She should have contacted her by now. If she hadn’t, he had just opened a nasty can of night crawlers. “She visits Maggie.”

Lorrie Ann’s eyes went wide. “Really? Do you know where she’s living?”

“Have you asked Maggie?” He needed to talk to Maggie and find out what was going on. He had promised Sonia to keep their talks private. Did that include her daughter? He knew she struggled with guilt over her past with Lorrie Ann, and guilt did weird things to people, led to bad decisions. Was she still avoiding Lorrie Ann?

“I’ll do that.” She paused for a minute, her lips tight. Glancing down, she broke eye contact.

John waited, and when she brought her gaze back to his, she smiled and whispered, “Good night, Pastor Levi.”

“Please, call me John.”

He watched as she made her way back to the ranch house. An unfamiliar loss at her departure settled softly in his chest.

He wanted to spend more time with her, hear her laughter and watch her smile. He shook his head and turned back to the cabin.

It had been thirteen years since he had asked someone out on a date, and he had ended up married to her.

He stopped. Where had that thought come from? Unwanted memories surfaced, and John closed and locked the door, both physically and mentally. Even contemplating a relationship with Lorrie Ann needed to stop.

He felt confident in his work for God and tried hard to be a good father, but he had made a lousy husband. He wished he could close the door on the hurt in Carol’s eyes as he locked the door behind Lorrie Ann.

His wife had deserved a better husband, but by the time he’d realized that, it had been too late.

Chapter Five

Tuesday slipped by quietly into Wednesday morning. The sun slid through Lorrie Ann’s window, and she just lay there. A slow smile eased across her face when she realized she had nowhere to be, no appointment to make and no people to mollify or manipulate. She could lie in bed all day if she wanted.

Her forehead creased. She did have one thing she needed to do. Quick thumbs and the text to Melissa, the lead singer of the band, was sent. With a satisfying thump, she closed the drawer with the cell phone inside. She had a few weeks to hide.

Shoving the guilt aside, Lorrie Ann reminded herself that everyone deserved a holiday, and hers would be in the Lone Star State this year.

She sighed. What she really needed was a new job. There was no way she and Brent could work together. If her boss, Melissa, had to pick between the talented but troubled drummer and the band’s manager, Lorrie Ann figured she would be the one to go.

Once dressed, she headed outside. Bible in hand, her other hand trailed over the smooth worn cedar railing of the zigzag stairs leading to the river below the cabins. The cool October breeze ruffled her hair as she made her way to the edge of the Frio. The flow of the river had changed since she’d left.

With her hand on one of the large cypress trees, she slipped off her shoes and stepped into cold, clear water. In California, she’d been so focused on being successful she’d misplaced her love for the outdoors.

“Miss Lorrie Ann, Miss Lorrie Ann. Hello!” Celeste’s excited voice drifted down from the top of the cliff.

Lorrie Ann cupped her hand over her eyes to block the sun as she turned to find the six-year-old hanging over the edge of their balcony. “Hi to you, Celeste. Hear you’re coming over today for a visit.”

“Daddy has to take Rachel in to get casted. Can we cut some more grapes?”

“Sure. Thought we could make some cookies, too.”

The little girl started to jump up and down. “Yeah! We can take some to Amy.” Celeste leaned over the railing, suspended over the cliff.

“Celeste Rebecca Levi, put your feet on the floor right now!” John’s stern voice came from the cabin door behind Celeste.

She looked back to the cabin and pointed down to the river. “Sorry, Daddy. Miss Lorrie Ann’s in the river.”

A few seconds later he appeared next to his daughter, one arm wrapped around the precocious six-year-old. “Hey there, Lorrie Ann. Hope you’re well rested.” His mussed hair fell across his forehead as he looked down at her. “Isn’t the river cold?” The sun emphasized the highlights streaked in his dark blond hair. She knew men who paid hundreds of dollars to get coloring like his. Without a doubt, nature created his color.

“Maybe, but it feels good.” She shrugged and smiled up at them, placing her hand over her heart. “I believe I should be reciting from Romeo and Juliet.”

His laughter soothed her as much as the clear water running over the rocks.

Nose wrinkled, Celeste leaned over and asked, “What’s Romeo and Julie?”

“Juliet,” John corrected.

Lorrie Ann threw her arms wide. “A love story with a tragic ending. Poor Romeo stood under Juliet’s balcony and professed his undying love.”

“Then Daddy should be Romeo and you, the beautiful princess. Is Juliet a princess?”

“Monkey, I think Lorrie Ann wanted quiet time, not a literary discussion.” He picked her up and swung her onto his hip.

“Quiet time? But that’s boring.” One small arm wrapped around her father’s neck, Celeste slanted over the edge with a puzzled look on her face. “Miss Lorrie Ann, were you really wanting quiet time?”

“Well, I was thinking about finding a place to pray and think.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Daddy likes quiet time, too. But he does it at the church. Maybe you can go to the church with Daddy.”

Even from the river, she could see the lines around John’s eyes deepen with his smile. “Come on, monkey. Let’s leave her to her solitude.” He patted her back. “Sorry about the interruption, Lorrie Ann.”

“Oh, please, don’t apologize. I’ll see you in a little bit, rug rat.”

“Bye, Miss Lorrie Ann. Tell God hi for me.” She waved as John turned them toward the door. “Daddy, what does literinary mean?”

Lorrie Ann couldn’t stop the smile as she looked down at her toes beneath the water. Curious little minnows started checking out her feet.

In a few hours, the family would be eating dinner together before heading to Prayer Night at the church. The smile slipped away. Thinking of her cousin, Yolanda, caused old hurts to boil up from the deep places she thought buried.

Back then she had been afraid Aunt Maggie would side with her real daughter. Lorrie Ann remembered living for the day she would leave this small town, proving to everyone she mattered. Truth be told, she was still a little afraid what would happen if Aunt Maggie had to choose between them.

With a deep breath she closed her eyes, focusing on the sounds around her: the water, the wind dancing through the trees and the leaves floating to the ground.

“God, I’ve come back to find You. I know it’s been a long time, and I’m not sure what to do. I’ve messed up so much I need You to show me the way to go.” She stepped farther into the river. “I don’t want Aunt Maggie to be hurt. Please show me what to say to my cousin, Yolanda.”