Meant-To-Be Marriage

I’m in love with a priest, Pastor Gregson.

Then you must do everything to put that devil out of your mind, Sydney.

“Now, Sydney—”

“You know how I feel about church.” As far as Sydney was concerned, organized religion seemed to cause a lot more pain than it alleviated. But for it, she and Father Kendall—

No! She’d promised herself she wouldn’t go there.

Taking another deep breath, she turned to her mother. “I realize church helps you two deal with the crises in your lives. That’s fine. But I have to handle my problems in my own way.”

“The pastor has a wonderful reputation.” Her father kept it up.

Once her parents dug in their heels, that was it. The church community was their answer for everything.

“If I feel the need for help, I’ll arrange to see a psychiatrist.”

Sydney had just said the wrong thing again. Her parents didn’t believe in psychiatry.

“Is this man already married?”

Yes, he’s married. But not in the way you mean.

“No!” Sydney cried in agony. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll change into something dressier to wear over to Aunt Lydia’s.”

Before driving into Yellowstone National Park from the North Entrance at Gardiner, Jarod bought a map at a convenience store and ate breakfast in the rental car while he studied it.

His eye traced the 140-mile Grand Loop that formed a figure eight through the Park. From here he could travel south to Madison, then Old Faithful, West Thumb, Fishing Bridge, Tower Falls, Mammoth and the Norris Geyser area.

There were roads leading to other portions of the Park, too. His plan was to look around at each major stopping-off point in the hope of spotting Sydney on the job. He preferred not to query anyone about her. They might alert her that someone was asking questions.

If she was anywhere around, her gilt hair would attract his attention. Whether in her ranger uniform or not, with her long legs and slender curves, she’d be impossible to miss. In the event he had no success, then he’d be forced to make inquiries.

After living at an elevation of 800 feet in Cannon for the last ten years, Jarod could blame his accelerated heart rate on the six-thousand-foot change which made the air thinner. But he knew his vital organ was getting the greatest portion of its workout for an entirely different reason.

Exhilarated in a way he hadn’t been in ages because he knew this was Sydney’s world, Jarod couldn’t help but contrast the beautiful subalpine terrain dotted with lodgepole pines and spruce trees to the windswept plains along the Cannonball River.

The dry heat today might be in the eighties, but it didn’t wilt him. As soon as the fast-moving cumulus clouds covered the sun, he felt an immediate drop in temperature.

With each curve in the road he noticed places where forest fires had burned patches of vegetation. Remarkably he could see flowers sprouting from those blackened areas, evidence of new life.

New life.

His hands tightened on the wheel.

Like the other tourists, he kept an eye out for bison and moose. The Saturday traffic moved slowly. At this rate it would take all day to make a superficial sweep of the Park in his effort to locate her.

By the time he’d reached the Upper Geyser Basin, his patience had worn thin. It shouldn’t have surprised him that the Old Faithful area looked like a gigantic parking lot. End-of-summer vacationers had gathered to watch the famous geyser blow.

According to the brochure he’d been given when he’d paid his entry fee, each eruption lasted a different length of time and went off in intervals from thirty to a hundred and twenty minutes. Judging by the mass of people seated on the benches and standing around, a new eruption was imminent.

Once he’d found a place to park, he looped his powerful binoculars around his neck and got out of the car. Everyone had their cameras trained on the scene. While serious photographers set up their tripods in the hope of capturing something unusual and spectacular on film, Jarod started walking around with a different target in mind.

Putting the lens to his eyes, he swept the sea of tourists. So far he’d only picked out a handful of male rangers in uniform, one of whom was speaking to the huge crowd assembled. Convinced Sydney wasn’t on duty here, Jarod walked the short distance to the Old Faithful Visitors Center.

Besides a sales outlet, he discovered an auditorium full of at least a hundred people where another male ranger was narrating a film. He saw a couple of others walking around, talking to tourists.

As he turned to leave, he caught sight of a display in one of the alcoves manned by a teenager. There was a banner hanging above her head. Help Build A New Old Faithful Visitor Center.

He moved closer to the winsome brunette and read the tag on her khaki blouse. Cindy Lewis, Junior Park Ranger.

She smiled at him. “Would you like to know why we need a new facility?”

If she could help him find Sydney, Jarod decided he would be happy to hear anything she had to tell him. It was a long shot, but worth his time.

“That’s why I stopped.”

Her smile broadened. “The need for information, orientation and educational services isn’t being met by the existing visitor center. As you can see, this building is too small to accommodate even a small percentage of the people visiting the area.

“There are no interpretive exhibits and the auditorium lacks sufficient seating for the numbers of visitors wanting to see films. That’s why the Yellowstone Park Foundation is committed to raising the funds to build a new facility.

“It represents the best opportunity for public-spirited individuals like yourself to join with the National Park Service in building a new, world-class visitor center. There’ll be permanent exhibits to help people understand and appreciate the rarest hydrothermal resources on earth today.

“If you’re interested in learning more, please take this brochure and read it. Any contribution would be greatly appreciated.”

Jarod pulled some money from his wallet and put it in the attached envelope before handing it back to her. “This is for your excellent presentation.”

“Thanks!”

“You’re welcome. Are there more junior rangers like you around?”

“Yes. We’re situated throughout the Park to help educate people, but after the Labor Day weekend we’ll have to go back to school.”

“It sounds like a very commendable program. Are you planning to become a National Park Ranger after college?”

“Yes.”

“I once knew a woman who I understand became a park ranger here.”

“I’m friends with all the rangers. What’s her name?”

The blood pounded in his ears. “Sydney Taylor.”

The girl blinked. “Ranger Taylor has been the head of the teenage junior ranger program all summer! She’s the best.”

Jarod’s adrenaline surged. “Are we speaking of the same person? She used to be a schoolteacher at Cannonball High in North Dakota.”

“Yes! She said she taught English there for a year before she came here.”

“I knew her quite well. What a coincidence that you’ve been working with her,” he murmured. “Do you have any idea where she is right now?”

The girl nodded. “California. Her best friend, Ranger King, just got married. Sydney will be back on Monday.”

Frustrated that she wasn’t here, he was forced to suppress his fierce disappointment. He needed to come face-to-face with the one woman in the world who’d become necessary to his existence.

“I’d like to leave a note for her. Do you know where she lives?”

“Sure. It’s across the parking area, cabin five.”

“Thank you, Cindy.” He shook her hand. “It’s been a pleasure to meet you.”

He walked off before she had the presence of mind to ask his name. Within a few minutes he found his car and drove over to the cluster of cabins in the distance.

So much for the element of surprise.

After penning a message, Jarod left the folded paper inside the front door screen where she would see it when she returned from California.

Once inside the car, he started the motor and took off, pressing on the accelerator as he headed back to Gardiner. By tomorrow night he expected her to call him on his cell phone.

Yet he couldn’t silence the niggling voice inside his head asking questions he refused to contemplate.

What if she doesn’t respond?

What if she doesn’t want anything to do with you?

CHAPTER TWO

THE HARDEST PART about teaching school was enduring the first three days of teachers’ meetings before you actually got to meet your students.

At seven-thirty Monday evening, an exhausted Sydney hurried out of Elkhorn High School to her car. Following the day’s meetings, the PTA had served dinner in the cafeteria. Tomorrow she would have to come early to start decorating her room before back-to-school night on Wednesday.

Two blocks away she turned into the drive of her eight-plex apartment building and parked her Jeep in one of the covered stalls. What she needed right now was a shower, then bed.

Before reaching the door of her ground-floor unit, she sensed she wasn’t alone and assumed it was one of the other tenants coming home, too. Then she heard a man call to her in a low, compelling voice.

The urgent way he said her name conjured memories that made the hairs stand on the back of her neck.

No…

It couldn’t be…

It just couldn’t…

Still disbelieving, Sydney turned around slowly, convinced the fatigue of the day had taken unprecedented liberties with her imagination.

In the growing darkness she saw the silhouette of a tall, solidly built man. At first glance she thought he bore a resemblance to the man whose memory had been her nemesis. But two things stood out that made her decide she was mistaken, that she was looking at a stranger.

For one thing he was wearing a tan suit with a tie. The man she’d once known would never be dressed in such clothes.

For another, this man with his jet-black hair and brows was beardless.

Through her lashes she studied the unfamiliar lines of a strong chin and jaw with their five o’clock shadow. He possessed a potently male mouth hinting at an aggression that made her swallow hard.

“Sydney—” he whispered, reading her confusion correctly.

The deep cadence of his voice permeated to the core of her being. Like a matching fingerprint, there was no mistaking who he was this time. The reality of his presence sent her into shock. She fell against the door helplessly.

He started to move toward her.

“No—don’t touch me!” she begged. But her protest went ignored as the flesh-and-blood man placed his hands on her upper arms to steady her. She felt their heat as if she’d pressed up against a furnace.

“I’ll let you go when you’re able to walk without help.”

Sydney’s head fell back on the graceful column of her neck. Her heart pounded in her ears.

“Come on. Let’s get you inside.” He took the keys from her nerveless fingers and opened the door.

Convinced she was hallucinating, she started to feel light-headed. Her legs refused to obey her.

The next moment became a blur. With effortless masculine strength, he picked her up in his arms and carried her into the dimly lit living room. After laying her on the couch, he disappeared.

A minute later he returned with a glass of water. Hunkering down next to her, he put it to her lips. His other hand slid beneath the gold satin of her hair to prop her head.

“Drink as much as you can. It’ll help.”

Though her head was spinning, she did his bidding before handing the empty glass back to him. He put it on the coffee table.

Between his silky black lashes, the eyes she remembered burned like hot green coals. Combined with the male beauty of his features, he was so impossibly handsome, she groaned in reaction.

When it became clear he really was here in person, her strength began to return and she carefully sat up. Another minute and she was able to get to her feet, desperate to disguise the fact that she’d been staring at him with an intense hunger he couldn’t have helped but notice.

He stood a little distance apart from her with his hands on his hips, reminding her once again what an incredible-looking man he was.

Back in Cannon, the beard had made him seem more untouchable and intimidating. Without it, he…

She rubbed her arms as if she were freezing to death. In truth she was burning up inside with so many emotions, she couldn’t name them all. But topping the list was rage and anger for his coming here to enlarge the wound that had never healed.

“I have to admit you’re the last person on earth I ever expected to see again in this lifetime…let alone here,” she began.

Jarod’s eyes glittered. “Evidently you didn’t get my note.”

Sydney struggled to catch her breath. “What note?”

“The one I left inside the front door screen of your cabin at Old Faithful.”

She put a hand to her throat. “When did you do that?”

“Saturday.”

Saturday she’d been told he was ill, yet seeing him she realized he’d never looked healthier.

“I—I’d already moved out and was at my parents’.”

I had the greatest breakdown of my life by driving over to Cannon to see you. But you weren’t there, and you’re not ill. What’s going on?

He grimaced. “When I didn’t hear from you all day today, I had a talk with Chief Ranger Archer. He told me you’d accepted a teaching job here, so I called around until I found you.”

Shock still held her in its grip. “I—I can’t imagine how you even knew I was a ranger.”

“It’s a long story,” his voice rasped. “I came as soon as I could.”

She stared at him in utter bewilderment. “What do you mean?”

He cocked his dark, attractive head. “The day you left Cannon you said, ‘I can’t stay, and you can’t come, can you?’ At the time, I couldn’t give you an answer.”

That moment had been so excruciating, she experienced physical pain all over again remembering it. For him to be so inhuman as to remind her of it—

Anger consumed her.

“So now you’ve decided you can?” she mocked in raw agony, remembering the kiss he’d given her that had said “goodbye forever.”

She backed away from him. “If you thought it would be safe to take a vacation from the Lord with me, then you never knew me, and I never knew you.” Her pain resounded off the walls of the living room. “Find someone else with whom you can indulge your needs before returning to your unsuspecting flock, Father Kendall.”

His features hardened like a block of chiseled granite. He made no move to go. “My name is Jarod. I’d like to hear you say it.”

She shook her head. “You mean you want me to use it while you’re away from Cannon and no one can see us?”

But even as she questioned his motives, she had to inspect her own motives that had propelled her to Cannon two days ago.

He gazed at her for a troubling moment. “You obviously need more time to absorb the fact I’m really here.”

“Time?” she bit out. “I admit there was a time when even though I knew it was impossible, the foolish part of me needed to hear you tell me you loved me so much, you would give up your vocation for me.

“That’s how naive, stupid, lovestruck and pathetic I once was. But after fifteen months, that person no longer exists.

“You’re the delusional one if you think you can just show up here without your collar and expect me to fall at your feet because you’ve got a little time on your hands away from everyone who knows you.”

The second the words left her lips, she realized how foolish that sounded. Minutes ago she’d almost fainted at the sight of him. In the next breath she cried, “I have no interest in you or your life!”

What a hypocrite she was.

“Please go!”

“I’ve missed you, too, Sydney. Try to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow,” was all he said before he disappeared from her apartment.

Like someone who’d survived a battle and was the only one left alive, she stood there weaving in dazed shock.

When she’d done everything in her power to forget him, how could he be so cruel as to show up now after all this time had passed?

He’d known why she’d left Cannon. One of them had to leave, and it certainly wouldn’t have been the priest who’d dedicated his life to God and the parish!

Where was the sensitivity she’d seen in him during those months of counseling he’d given one of her students?

After those first few visits to his office with Brenda Halverson who was pregnant and afraid to tell her Catholic parents the truth, Sydney should have obeyed her instincts and quit her job. Any lie to break her teaching contract would have been worth it to get far away from him.

But her attraction to him had been so powerful, she couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing him again. The visits to his office with Brenda while he counseled her were all that had kept Sydney going that year.

He came to the high school activities where Brenda and other students in the parish were involved. She would talk to him then. Sometimes they saw each other on the street in passing and would stop to chat for a little while. Other times she attended Mass with Brenda where she could legitimately feast her eyes on him. Those were the moments she’d lived for. But it was no life!

On the morning she left Cannon, she’d stopped by his office to say goodbye. Another grave mistake. One she would always regret.

He had no indication of what was coming. When she told him she was on her way out of town for good, he got up from the chair and walked over to the closed door where she was standing. He looked physically hurt.

Inside she rejoiced at the anguish that had suddenly darkened his beautiful eyes. For once the facade had slipped, allowing her to see the full extent of his emotions. They told her he was in great pain, too.

She wanted him to be in pain. It was selfish of her, but she couldn’t help it.

“You’re really leaving?” he whispered. His voice sounded thick, gravelly.

“As soon as I walk out of this office. My bags are packed in the car.”

“Sydney—”

The way he said her name ripped her insides apart.

“I can’t stay.” Her voice trembled. “You can’t come with me. Can you?”

Their gazes clung for an infinity of time.

A heavy silence filled the room. It lasted so long she thought he was getting ready to tell her the one thing she needed to hear that would keep her from going anywhere.

Instead, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her mouth. It gave her a taste of all the things they would never share. Not each other’s bodies, not each other’s thoughts, hearts or souls, not each other’s hopes, dreams, not their joy or laughter, not their children.

Nothing…

When the message was received, she tore her lips from his and ran from his arms, from his office, from the tiny town she would never see again. She’d been running ever since.

Except for her slip on Saturday when all she’d wanted to do was look at him for a little while unobserved, she’d stayed away.

How was it possible he’d traced her here?

Why dredge up the most agonizing experience of her life?

Had it hurt his pride that since their parting she hadn’t come crawling back to him like a beggar? In order to satisfy his ego, had he planned this side trip to Yellowstone to provoke her into a clandestine relationship with him?

It wasn’t going to happen!

Maybe he got his jollies from imagining there was a woman out there who longed for him. Even if he’d only been able to get as far as his thoughts where Sydney was concerned, did that mean he had no conscience?

Could he honestly go back to his world without it disturbing the tenor of his existence?

She’d bet her life his colleagues in the diocese didn’t know where he was, or what he was trying to do, let alone why…

Thank heaven they didn’t know what Sydney had been doing on Saturday.

He had to know that coming to Yellowstone was an unconscionable act on his part. When he returned to Cannon, would he confess what he’d done?

A priest on the up and up probably would. But Father Jarod Kendall would no doubt consider himself exempt from confession because he hadn’t yet committed an overt act against the commandments.

It took two, and she hadn’t been available after all.

Did he truly believe she would welcome any crumbs he threw her way because she was so beguiled by him she couldn’t help herself?

An icy smile broke out on her lips. She walked over to the door and locked it. For once he would learn what it was like to have the door eternally closed to him. Let him rail against it till he was bloodied.

Damn you forever, Father Kendall.

Shaking from emotions she had no idea how to control, she started to undress so she could shower. When her cell phone rang, she jumped.

Had he managed to get her number from Chief Archer, too? She plucked the phone from her purse and clicked on.

“Hello,” she said in a terse tone.

“Sydney?” Cindy Lewis questioned tentatively.

It wasn’t Father Kendall on the other end after all. Furious at herself because she felt a gush of disappointment, Sydney disciplined herself to calm down. “Hi, Cindy.”

“You sound odd. Are you okay?”

She took deep breaths. “Yes. I just came in to get ready for bed.”

“How was the wedding?”

“Fabulous. Jamal Carter told me specifically to say hello to you when I talked to you next.”

“He did?” she cried excitedly.

“Yes. His mom and sister came all the way from Indianapolis with him for the wedding. They’re as nice as Jamal. I found out Alex and Gilly have invited him to live with them next summer and work in the Park.”

“You’re kidding—”

“Nope. I’ve got pictures of him in his tuxedo. I’m going to have double prints made up so you can have your own set. He looked even better in the tux than in his junior ranger uniform.”

“Jamal’s cute.”

“He’s very cute.” Sydney smoothed the hair off her forehead. “Listen, Cindy—I’ve got some things I have to do right now. If you don’t mind, I’ll call you next weekend so we can talk longer.”

“I’d love that! But before you hang up, I wanted to tell you that some man came to the Park on Saturday looking for you.”

“What man?” Sydney played dumb, trying to stifle the moan that escaped.

“He left the visitors center before I could ask his name, but he said he knew you back in Cannon when you were a teacher.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He made a thousand dollar donation to the new visitor center fund.”

Sydney almost dropped the phone. Where did a priest with a low income get that kind of money? Why would he do such a thing? “That was incredibly generous of him. Was he there with his family?”

“I don’t know. When he walked over to the display, he was alone. He was more gorgeous than a movie star.”

Sydney had thought the same thing the first time she’d laid eyes on Jarod.

“Does that mean you almost croaked at the sight of him?” she teased to cover her chaotic emotions.

“Yes. He reminded me of some of those men with the black hair in The Godfather films. You know the kind I mean?”

Sydney knew exactly what she meant. He had the look of some Mediterranean types she’d met in her travels.

“Except that his eyes were green like my cat’s.”

For the second time in one evening Sydney felt light-headed.

When a priest went on vacation, could he remove his collar without it being a sin? Could they vacation alone? Didn’t they go to retreats that were off limits to the public? Sydney had no idea.

Beyond his work as a priest, and the fact that his first name was Jarod, she knew nothing personal about Father Kendall. She had no knowledge of his history, where he came from, or whether he had family still living.