Secrets Of An Old Flame

“Joe, I need you downstairs. Now.”

In the worst way he wanted to turn a deaf ear to his partner but he knew it would be best if he left until he could get a grip on himself.

“Yeah, coming.” He took a deep breath to calm himself, then slid his hand under Nikki’s chin again and pulled her face up again until she had no choice but to look at him.

“Stay right here. I’m coming back.” He drew back the blanket and with a shaking hand he cupped his palm over his son’s head, his fingertips feeling the pulse beating in the soft spot on top of his son’s skull. “I’m coming back.”

Nikki watched him turn out the light and leave the room, her emotions a confusing jumble of dread and arousal. He was furious she hadn’t told him about the baby.

Stay here, he says, she thought bitterly. As if she had a choice. As if there were anyplace she could go.

Utterly weary, Nikki leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes. If she’d had a choice, she never would have come back to San Diego.

Resentment bubbled up. She’d told herself she was over him. He’d hurt her so badly a year ago. How could she still have feelings for him? But those treacherous emotions were still there. Her breast burned where he had touched her while stroking Michael’s head.

How could she hate him and want him at the same time? She must be crazy.

The baby stopped sucking. “Come on, Michael, just a little more.” She stroked her son’s cheek, urging him to eat.

No matter how out of control her life might be, she had to keep herself together. Her first responsibility was her child. He’d been fussy and she’d suspected he’d sensed her tension after Joe’s visit this afternoon.

Thank God she had gotten him to sleep upstairs before the break-in. She took a deep breath and exhaled, willing herself to relax.

Nikki looked up and once again saw Joe’s frame filling the doorway. The light from the hallway turned him into a menacing silhouette.

He slipped his hands into his pockets and leaned against the door frame, watching her. She could see the glint of his badge, clipped to the pocket of his jacket.

Finally he spoke. “What exactly did the men who broke in ask for?”

“Information about my father.” She was tired of the question. His partner, McCully, had already asked her a dozen times.

He stared at her hard before he spoke. “You didn’t tell them where he is.”

Near tears with frustration and fatigue, she snapped, “He’s dead.”

He must be dead, she thought desperately, or he would have let her know where he was. He wouldn’t have just abandoned her.

Joe continued to stare at her without moving.

Just the fact he was here and she remembered how good it felt when he’d held her in his arms unnerved her. The temptation to turn to him for comfort scared her. There was no way she could go down that road again and survive.

“Go away.” She felt brittle from the strain of coming home and the assault, but she had to stand up to him. If she sought the shelter of his arms her resolve would crumble and she’d be back where she’d been a year ago.

He ran his hand through his hair in a familiar gesture of frustration. “Nikki, be reasonable.”

Why was it whenever they differed, she was the unreasonable one? She felt herself being drawn into his argument, and she simply didn’t have the strength, emotionally or physically. She hadn’t fully recovered from a difficult pregnancy and nightmare birth.

“Go now, or I’ll call McCully and have you thrown out,” she threatened.

He had to leave. She couldn’t have him here, not when she didn’t trust herself.

“Why isn’t the alarm system working?” He never took his eyes off the baby.

She sighed and shifted the baby to a more comfortable position. She hadn’t expected him to listen to what she wanted. He wouldn’t leave until he got his way. The man was as stubborn as a mule, Nikki thought, suppressing the urge to howl with frustration.

She took a deep breath and brought Michael up to her shoulder to try and coax a burp from him. She’d be damned if she’d answer his question. It was none of his business that the alarm company had discontinued service when they hadn’t been paid. She didn’t have telephone service, either, and she had no money to have either service reconnected.

He gestured over his shoulder. “McCully will be done soon. I’ll go home and get a few things. I’m not leaving you alone.”

“I’ll be fine,” she said through clenched teeth, knowing as she spoke he was right about her vulnerability.

The two men could return, even though she couldn’t tell them what they’d demanded to know. The thought made her frantic. But so did the thought of Joe spending the night in her house.

As she calculated the danger, Joe shifted away from the door frame and took a step into the room. She avoided his gaze but could still feel his eyes on her.

“Nikki, what if they come back?” he said, his low voice vibrating with anger.

She clutched Michael as Joe gave voice to her fears. She brought her chin up, defensive. “Why should they? I can’t tell them anything.”

“What makes you think they believed you? You told McCully the sirens scared them off, remember?” he said sarcastically.

How could she forget? Her next-door neighbor Glenn had been walking his dog, heard her screams and called the police.

The sound of hammering drifted up to them. “Glenn’s fixing the door.” Now she was grasping at straws.

He threw up his hands and gave her a look that indicated he thought she was a moron. “You think that’s the only way into this house?”

She knew there were a dozen ways in. She’d used several of them as a teenager returning home after her curfew. She raised her chin and prayed her voice wouldn’t reveal how much his questions heightened her own fears.

“I’ll be fine,” she insisted. Showing weakness in front of Joe Galtero was a big mistake.

His hands balled into fists at his side. “What if they come back and go for Michael instead of you? What will you do then?”

Her breath caught in her throat. She had a vision of the big hand that had connected with her jaw hitting her son.

“What if they use him to get you to talk?” His voice lowered menacingly as he leaned toward her.

She gulped in air, seeking calm, but the image of Michael in danger was too terrifying. “But I don’t know anything.” Her voice hitched and broke.

He shook his head and spoke as if she were a backward child. “Do you think that would stop them?”

It wouldn’t. The two men who’d burst through the French doors and cornered her in the kitchen had been vicious.

One had held her arms behind her back while the other had cursed at her and shouted questions about her father. When she’d tried to tell them she didn’t know anything, he’d hit her in the face. Hearing the police sirens, they’d gotten away by going through the utility room and out the door connecting the garage to the alley.

Shaking his head, Joe approached her the way he might a suspect with a weapon, slow and steady, a step at a time. His air of command left no doubt as to who was in charge. “Would you take a chance with his life?”

Distraught, she tried to think of an alternative to Joe staying with her. She had nowhere else to go. The people she knew in New York were more acquaintances than friends. Her friends here in San Diego had faded away when the scandal about her father’s company made the national news. Not surprising, since a lot of them had lost huge sums of money when Fortuna Investments went bankrupt.

He stopped in front of her and leaned down, placing his hands on the padded arms of her chair, caging her in. “What’s your answer? Would you take a chance with Michael’s safety?”

“Of course not!”

He leaned in so close she could feel his breath warm against her face. “That’s good, Nikki. Because the alternative is that I take the baby.”

It took a moment for his statement to sink in. Her ears heard his words, but her mind tried to shove away their meaning. She stared at him in disbelief.

“You wouldn’t do that,” she breathed, hating the quiver of fear she heard in her own voice.

She pushed back into the upholstery, needing the solid feel of the chair at her back.

“Take my son? To keep him safe?” He lifted a hand and stroked Michael’s head. “You better believe I would.”

Chapter 2

Joe set his gym bag down in the foyer of Nikki’s silent house and checked the lock on the front door. Every light in the place was on.

He’d parked in the alley and waited to bring his bag in until the black-and-whites and the news vans left. He had no intention of announcing he was moving in with Raymond Walker’s daughter.

From long experience he knew cops were almost as good as reporters at spreading news, and if the brass found out about his temporary change of address there would be hell to pay. This time his shield could be gone for good.

He’d ask for vacation time starting tomorrow. He had plenty of it saved up.

Listening to the stillness, he wondered if Nikki had gone to bed. Wondered if she still slept in the dark blue nightgown with the lace that barely covered her breasts and slits up both sides, revealing her long beautiful legs.

His body punished him with a familiar ache. Knowing he wouldn’t find any relief, he tried to redirect his thoughts.

The bruise on her jaw had to hurt. Would she be able to sleep? Rage at the men who had attacked her threatened to swamp him again, and he felt the urge to put his fist through a wall.

Tamping down his frustration on all points, he checked the repairs to the French door where the creeps had broken in. A good hard kick would bring the plywood down. Her neighbor might be a well-known architect, but he wasn’t much of a carpenter. Joe would reinforce it tomorrow.

Something about the break-in bothered him, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He mulled over the file on the murder of Harriet Loper he knew forward and backward as he checked another set of French doors leading out to a small garden area on the side of the house.

Who were they working for? Walker’s partner, Gerald Marks? He had no doubts that Nikki’s father, along with his partner, was involved with the disappearance of funds and the murder of Marks’s secretary. Was someone else in on the deal? Someone who felt cheated out of his share?

Someone besides the police wanted to find Walker. One of the top executives in the company could be out for revenge. Several of the vice presidents of the corporation had lost everything after Walker and his partner skipped. And then there were all the investors who had lost millions.

He checked the latch on a double-hung window in the dining room then stood staring at the privacy hedges screening the front of the huge brick house. After more than a year of investigation Joe had yet to uncover what had really happened the night Walker disappeared.

Whoever had ordered the break-in knew Nikki was back. Both he and Mac suspected the thugs had been hired. White-collar criminals rarely did their own dirty work.

And why had she come back? Why now?

Joe didn’t believe in coincidence. Rarely did things that looked like chance turn out to be random happenings.

Methodically, he checked every remaining window in the dining room and living room. A year ago Nikki had insisted her father was innocent. She’d looked at Joe with those big blue eyes full of tears and he’d forgotten his job as a cop. He’d made a huge error and had not remained neutral.

She’d had so much faith in her father. At the beginning of his investigation he’d treated Walker as a victim, even though Joe’s instincts had told him differently.

That had been his first big mistake.

His involvement with Nikki had happened with lightning speed and consumed his every waking thought. McCully had been right. If he’d been thinking with his brain instead of his dumb handle, he would have had some perspective.

Even after he’d come to the conclusion Walker had planned the whole scheme, Joe kept looking for another explanation because he didn’t want Nikki hurt. He’d held off as long as he could, but when he’d finally explained the evidence he had, she’d accused him of using her.

Damn. He hadn’t used her. He’d tried to spare her. His mistake had been not telling her his suspicions from the beginning.

If anything, he’d slowed down his investigation because of her. Then she’d disappeared. And when she disappeared, Joe’d realized he’d been thinking with his crotch.

A year later he was still thinking with his crotch. Except now things had changed. They had a child together. He ran his hands through his hair, then rubbed his hand over the back of his neck.

He’d been so consumed by wanting her he’d tried to avoid losing her by not telling her the truth about her father. And the end result was he’d screwed up in the worst way.

He’d forgotten his duty as a cop.

He checked the windows in the maid’s room, then went through the utility room to the door linking the garage to the house.

The door, still smeared with fingerprint powder, was bolted, but one look through the window told him the huge four-car garage was empty.

When he’d arrived earlier Nikki’s car had not been in the alley or in front of the house. He’d expected to find her BMW in the garage.

Calling himself a fool for not going upstairs and checking on her when he’d first come in, he took the thickly carpeted steps two at a time.

She’d run from him once before, but now things were different. Now if she’d left she’d be taking his son.

He came around the corner into the hallway just as she opened her door. He heard her gasp of fear.

She stood poised in the open door, the light from her room spilling out behind her. Her face was as white as chalk, and she was clutching one of her father’s golfing trophies.

He skidded to a halt on the thick carpeting as she stumbled back a step into her bedroom. She wore only a thin white nightgown that bared her arms and most of her legs.

He knew he would find only smooth silky skin if he ran his hand up under her gown.

Angrily he jerked his attention back to the statue in her hand.

“Who did you think was coming up the stairs?” he demanded, not entirely sure he wasn’t her intended target.

Her eyes, dilated with fear, blinked rapidly and her chin quivered. “The men who broke in,” she said, her voice hitching.

Fool woman. Was she planning to take them on? He could have wrenched the weapon out of her hand with very little effort.

Joe took a deep breath and because she was so scared he tried to get past his anger and find a normal tone of voice. “Next time you hear someone coming and don’t know who it is, stay in your room with the door locked and call 911.”

He’d overreacted when he thought she’d run off again. What was new about that? He always overreacted around her.

Seeing her fear had not subsided, he softened his tone even more. “Your car isn’t in the garage.”

“What?” She blinked again, her eyes still huge in her white face. “My car?”

“Did they take it?” If the men who had broken in had taken her car they’d dump it. Even if they wiped it down, forensics might be able to lift prints from the vehicle.

She looked puzzled. “Who?”

“The men who broke in.” He shook his head at her confusion.

Her cheeks flushed. “No. My car…isn’t here.” She seemed to recover her composure.

Finally she lowered the trophy. “Were you trying to scare me, coming up the stairs like that?” she demanded, sounding more like herself.

He ignored her question, not about to tell her he had been on the edge of panic, thinking she had run from him again. “How did you get here?”

She put the trophy on top of the dresser just inside the door and stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind her, her lips pressed together in a thin line.

“What I do or how I do it is none of your business.”

“Why won’t you tell me?” He’d searched databases for her for a year. He wanted to know where she’d been.

She had that stubborn “I don’t have to tell you anything” look he knew so well. She crossed her arms over her stomach and gave him a pointed stare.

He knew so little about her, but he knew every square inch of her body. Her breasts were fuller. Probably from nursing the baby, he assumed.

A year ago, whenever they had been this close to each other they’d ended up naked. The smell of her, so familiar he would dream about her and wake up expecting his bedroom to hold her scent, floated in the charged air between them.

Not being able to keep his mind off their past or keep his body under control had him fuming. He took a step forward so that he backed her up against the door, a perverse part of him needing to intimidate her.

“The only thing that does matter right now is the baby. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Her face pinched up in a bitter expression as she brought her arms up and pressed her body back, trying to put some space between them.

“Consider yourself a sperm donor. Nothing more.”

He stared at her, stunned, as his simmering anger came ripping back full force. A sperm donor? After what they had shared? Furious, he grabbed her hard by the upper arms and looked into her eyes, his voice harsh.

“I consider myself a whole lot more. Don’t you ever forget it.”

At her gasp he let go, chagrined he couldn’t control his thoughts or his hands.

“Sorry,” he muttered and stepped back, ashamed that he had so little restraint around her he would grab her in anger.

Nikki, chest heaving with emotion, gripped the crystal doorknob and tipped her face up to him, throwing him a “screw you” expression.

“Don’t ever touch me again,” she said, enunciating each word very carefully.

Fat chance. He couldn’t seem to dredge up the command to keep his hands off her.

Even now, when she stood there hating him, he wanted her so badly he ached with it. His gaze kept drifting to the outline of her hard nipples through the thin fabric of her gown. There were subtle differences in her body and he yearned to relearn every inch of her.

Joe took a deep breath to calm himself as they stared each other down. What he really wanted, he thought, more than any explanation of where she’d been, was to haul her into her bed and bury himself in her.

He thrust his hands in his pockets. Sperm donor, he thought with disgust. He had a son and he would be a father to his child, no matter what she considered him. The baby was his flesh and blood, and he’d be a part of his life. No way he was going to back away from his responsibilities, he thought, trying to get control of his anger.

He wanted to yell at her until she listened to him, even though he knew she wouldn’t pay attention to reason or logic. She’d proved that to him a year ago, refusing to consider the facts about her father’s disappearance.

Joe took a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry.” He wasn’t even sure what all he was apologizing for, but it seemed like a good place to start. They couldn’t go on the way they were.

“You and I have a lot to work out, but nothing changes the fact that Michael is my son. And I will be a part of his life.”

“How? By taking him away from me?” Her voice broke in the middle of the question.

Her words seemed to hang in the air between them, then he noticed she was shaking all over.

He had threatened to take his son. He’d wanted her to understand the danger she was in. He hadn’t stopped to consider how intimidated she might be by his warning.

“Look, Nikki…” He reached for her, needing to apologize and offer comfort, only to have her flinch away from him. The look of fear and uncertainty on her face made him take another step back. He had been rough with her and now she was afraid of him.

He wondered if he could screw this up any worse than he already had.

He raised his hands, palms up, in a conciliatory gesture he hoped would reassure her and deliberately softened his tone. “Where is the baby?”

She didn’t answer right away, her lips pressed into a thin, trembling line as she visibly struggled for control. Finally she said, “Asleep.”

“Where is he sleeping? I need to know where you both are in order to protect you.” There was always a chance whoever had broken in could try again.

She didn’t answer at first, just stared at him with a stubborn look on her face. Her expression didn’t change as she finally answered, “He’s in a playpen on the other side of my bed.”

Ever since he’d first seen Michael he’d yearned to hold his son, feel the weight of him in his arms. That moment was going to have to wait. Nikki didn’t trust him and she was too fragile just now.

Joe ran his hand through his hair and groped for something to say to help smooth out their relationship. Nothing came to mind. He had taken a two-week course in communication and hostage negotiation and he couldn’t come up with a simple statement to open up some interaction.

He tried to shrug some of the tension out of his shoulders. “We’re both tired. We can talk about this in the morning.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he heard Nikki mutter under her breath as she turned her back on him and opened her bedroom door just far enough to slip through, closing it in his face.

The distinct snick of metal on metal told him she’d locked the door.

He let her comment pass. He wasn’t about to get into another discussion that would get them nowhere.

He spoke to her through the heavy wooden panel. “I’ll be downstairs. Make sure your balcony door is locked. Call me if you need me.”

He got no response from the bedroom.

Considering how she felt about him, he’d be lucky if she let him know if the house caught fire. She’d probably take the baby and run without waking him.

Joe made the rounds and checked all the windows upstairs as well as the French doors leading to the balconies off each bedroom. He found bedding in the main linen closet in the hallway. Then, restless and uneasy, he went downstairs and checked all the doors and windows a second time.

Finally he threw his blanket and pillow on a couch in the TV room off the kitchen. He figured the most vulnerable part of the house to be the windows and doors facing the alley, so he picked a room on the ground floor at the back of the house to bed down. He unstrapped his holster and placed his revolver on the coffee table within easy reach.

He tried to get comfortable on the too short couch and listened to the night sounds—the occasional car, the rustle of the trees, the bark of a dog. Civilized sounds of a very upscale neighborhood settling in for the night.

He dozed and awoke to a baby’s cry, and the wonder struck him again.

He had a son. A baby boy he’d yet to hold in his arms.

Nikki awoke when Michael stirred in his playpen. Even though she ached all over from the roughing up she’d taken yesterday by the two men who’d broken in, she’d gotten some sleep. She didn’t want to admit it was because of Joe’s reassuring presence in her house.

Her hands got clammy whenever she thought about what had happened last night. She’d never experienced that kind of terror before. One man had held her arms so tightly behind her back she thought he might wrench them out of their sockets. Her shoulders still ached.

Early morning sunlight slanted through the blinds at her window. She rolled onto her back as she watched the glow brighten the pale silk wall covering. Here in the bed she’d grown up in, the silent early morning seemed so normal, but she knew it was anything but.

Joe was somewhere in the house.

As far as she knew, the police hadn’t caught the men who had broken in and threatened her. They could return any time.

As bad as the break-in had been, she doubted it would be the hardest thing she would face while she was here.