Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage

He was a better actor than she gave him credit for.

But no one thought she had deserved the marriage proposal. Moviegoers were furious, believing the seductress should never get the hero. Her colleagues didn’t think a girl from the slums was worthy of the Arjun name. There was a hierarchy in the Hindi film industry and she had broken the rules when she’d married Dev. Some reporters and bloggers had gone so far as to suggest she’d got what she deserved when she miscarried.

She jumped, her memories scattering, when Dev thrust a tall glass of mango juice in her hands. “You look pale,” he said with a frown.

“It’s from the jet lag.” She didn’t want him to know how fragile she felt. Couldn’t, not unless she wanted him to step all over her for the next few months. “If I’d had a chance to put on some makeup and—”

“Tina!” She turned to see Dev’s best friend stretch out his arms before he greeted her with a hug. “Where the hell have you been?”

“It’s good to see you, too, Nikhil.” And she meant it. Ordinarily, she would not have anything in common with a man like Nikhil Khanna. Born into a Bollywood dynasty, Nikhil was rich, educated and had a flair for writing screenplays. Her family had no connections and she had not finished school, yet they had quickly become friends.

“It’s been too long.” Nikhil held her gaze and she saw the serious glint in his eyes. “Your husband missed you.”

Her stomach curled with fear. How much did Nikhil know? Did Dev confide in his friend? “And you didn’t?” she asked lightly.

Nikhil gave a dramatic sigh. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

Dev brushed his friend’s hand off her. “Watch it, Nikhil.”

Tina glanced up at Dev. She hadn’t heard her husband use that tone with Nikhil before. She was surprised at the possessiveness etched in Dev’s harsh features. Tina gave a cautious look at Nikhil.

The other man didn’t seem to mind as he rolled his eyes. “Now you can deal with Dev’s bad temper and late-night rants against the world.”

“Dev?” That didn’t make sense. Her husband was known for his charisma and charm.

“Like I said, your husband missed you.” Nikhil reached for her untouched drink and set it down on a nearby table. “Let’s dance.”

Dance? Horror snaked inside her. “No, no.” She took a step away and bumped into Dev’s solid body. “Not tonight.”

“How can you say that?” Nikhil said over the upbeat music. “You were born to dance.”

She had heard that many times throughout the years. Dancing had been her escape and her creative outlet. She was constantly aware of the music around her and had to express it through movement. Dev had once said that he thought she couldn’t go through a day without dancing.

And then suddenly her body betrayed her. Failed her. Her senses had shut down. She couldn’t move. Didn’t feel the music inside her. It was as if her mind blocked it all out. She hadn’t danced since the loss of her son.

“The only person she’s going to dance with is me,” Dev announced as he wrapped his arm around her waist. “But first she needs to greet a few of our guests.”

Tina gave an apologetic glance to her friend as Dev dragged her away. Within minutes, her face was stiff from forcing a smile as she met with the guests. They all were part of the Hindi film industry but they were not her colleagues. Once they had been her inspiration as she watched their movies and read about them in the magazines. Now she wished she had never met them in real life. They were nothing like the heroes and heroines they played.

“Why are you friends with these people?” Tina asked as Dev escorted her to another room. She had fielded questions about her absence but no one had really missed her. They were more curious than concerned.

“Only a few of them are friends,” Dev admitted, giving a nod of acknowledgment to an actor as they kept walking. “Most of our guests want something from me, and they wouldn’t hesitate to stab me in the back the first chance they get.”

“Then why invite them into your home?” she muttered.

“Our home, jaan,” he gently corrected as his fingers tightened against her waist. “This time it’s because we have completed filming.”

She frowned. She should’ve known that Dev would have immediately returned to work as if nothing had happened between them. “What project?”

His grip tightened painfully. Was it her imagination or was there a hunted look in Dev’s eyes?

“It was a modern retelling of Majnu and Laila,” he said tersely.

She was surprised he had chosen to do a romantic movie, especially one that followed the classic Persian love story. A romance that was more tragic than Romeo and Juliet with a poor man falling in love with a rich girl. They were forbidden to see each other and Majnu was driven mad with love. Driven mad by Laila.

“You should have seen his performance, Tina.” One of the inebriated guests interrupted, looping his arms around Dev’s shoulders. “It was stunning. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. The grief! The pain! You could see him descend into madness.”

Madness. Her breath lodged in her throat as she stared at Dev. She jerked out of his hold as if his touch burned her. She knew all about grief and madness. She had been surrounded by it. At times she thought it had engulfed her.

“I’m serious, Tina,” the guest said, unaware of the maelstrom of emotions whipping between them. “It was chilling.”

“I’m sure it was.” She forced the words out as her chest squeezed her lungs. It hurt to breathe. To stand tall when she wanted to fold into a heap. “I’m sorry,” Tina said to their guest as she pressed her hand against her head. “But my jet lag is getting worse.”

“You should lie down,” Dev said. “I’ll come with you.”

Tina ignored his outstretched hand. She was tempted to wrap her arms tightly around her body to protect herself. She didn’t want Dev to touch her or be close to her.

“No need. I’ll just get some water. I’ll be right back,” she lied as she hurried away. “Stay here.”

* * *

Early next morning Dev glanced up from skimming the newspaper when he heard the chime of Tina’s bangles. Finally. She had escaped the party last night and he wondered if she was going to hide upstairs all day.

He set down the newspaper as he waited for her to arrive at the breakfast table. Dev grimaced when he heard her hesitant footsteps. Was she considering another escape plan? That was not part of the deal. He wanted—demanded—a devoted wife and he was going to have it even if it meant he had to hunt her down and drag her to the table.

Tina appeared barefoot at the doorway, wearing a pale pink shalwar kameez. The tunic and drawstring pants hid her curves. She looked incredibly innocent and feminine, nothing like the seductress roles she played in her movies. But Dev knew Tina was not one or the other. She was an irresistible mix of sweet and spice.

Dev immediately stood up and pulled out a seat for her. “I expected you to sleep all morning.”

She gave a little bobble of her head. “I would have but the jet lag has a strange effect on my sleep.”

“And on your sense of direction?” Dev asked as he watched her pass the chair he held out for her. “I found you sleeping in one of the guest rooms.”

She dipped her head and hurriedly sat down across the table from him. “I crashed in the first bed I found.”

He didn’t believe it. Tina was avoiding their marriage bed again. Avoiding him. “That was not our agreement.” He had gone so far as to gather her in his arms last night, intent on carrying her back to their bed. He had expected her to kick and lash out. Instead she had snuggled against his chest and given a sigh that had almost brought him to his knees. He had known he wouldn’t be able to sleep next to her, not with his willpower in shreds. Dev had reluctantly returned her to her bed, tucked the sheets around her and left her in peace.

Dev sat back down as Tina added vegetables and eggs to her plate. Her eyes lit up at a serving platter that was covered with a towel. “Are those pooris?” she said in a whisper.

“The cook made these in honor of your return,” Dev said and saw a smile curve on her lips. It was the first time since she’d arrived that he’d seen her happy. It had been even longer since he’d seen her show excitement.

She grabbed for the hot fried bread. “It feels like I haven’t had these in forever.”

He watched as she reverently broke the poori with her fingers. She inhaled the fragrant steam before she scooped up the lightly spiced potatoes with it. She popped the morsel in her mouth and her face softened. Tina closed her eyes and groaned with pleasure.

The sound stabbed at his chest. Dev’s body tightened as the desire heated his blood. It took effort for him to lean back in his chair and study his wife instead of reaching for the pooris and feeding her. She was a sensual woman who enjoyed her food. She loved to cook as much as she loved to eat. But this was different. He was watching a homecoming.

“You missed pooris,” he murmured.

Tina blushed and covered her mouth with her hand. “I missed spicy food. Indian food. Good food.”

She missed that more than she had missed him. “Why didn’t you make it yourself?”

Tina stilled. “It’s better at home.”

She wasn’t telling him the truth. The woman who found it satisfying to cook, who found pleasure in cooking for her loved ones, hadn’t prepared a meal in months. Yet, she hadn’t starved. In fact, she had regained the weight she couldn’t afford to lose.

But why hadn’t she cooked? Or danced? When they had socialized with their guests at the party, he had noticed that her command of the English language had greatly improved. Where had she been all this time? What had she been doing? And with whom?

Tina bent her head as if the food on her plate required all of her concentration. “Why are you at home, Dev? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

He glanced at his watch. He needed to go to the Arjun Studios and decided to take Tina with him. It may be too soon to reintroduce her to work, but what if she disappeared while he was away? There had been no hint, no discussion, when she had suddenly left him in Los Angeles. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she would do it again.

She wouldn’t, Dev decided. Her career was too important to her and dangling his connections was just the right bait to keep her near. “I will this morning and you will come with me.” He raised his hand to stop her complaint. “You want my connections? This is the best way for directors and producers to get to know you. And we have special guests waiting for us there.”

“Who?” She stopped chewing and glanced up at him. The pleasure fled from her face as resignation set in. “Your parents?”

She didn’t know. Dev stared into her eyes and knew she wasn’t pretending. How could she not have known? It had been international news months ago. Even if she were in America she would have seen the headlines.

“No,” he said gruffly. “Your family will be there.”

“My family—my mother is at Arjun Studios?” Tina bolted from her seat. “Why? When?”

Dev thought Tina would have been happy with the news. He hadn’t expected this level of panic. He had only met her family a handful of times as Tina had made an effort to keep her family away. He hadn’t thought much about it until now. “What’s wrong?”

She paused and bit her lip. “How did they contact you? Do they know that I’m back?”

“I contacted them. In fact, I’ve been in touch with them since you were missing.”

She winced. “Oh, you have no idea what you’ve done.” Tina clapped her palms against her cheeks as she began to pace. “What did you tell them?”

“What I told everyone. That you were recuperating from your miscarriage. They had no idea where you were. Why couldn’t you trust your mother with the truth?” What had she been hiding that was so horrible she couldn’t even tell her family?

CHAPTER FOUR

TINA BRISTLED UNDER Dev’s question. She saw the disappointment in his eyes. He had no right to judge. She hadn’t been selfish or unkind. She needed to protect herself and she wasn’t going to feel guilty about her decision.

“My mother would insist that I stay married,” she explained as she crossed her arms.

Dev studied her. “So you disappeared?”

Tina felt a sharp twist in her chest. “I did what was best for me.” She wasn’t going to feel guilty. She had taken care of her family for as long as she could remember and this time she had to protect herself.

“By shutting everyone out,” Dev said with bitterness. “It’s what you do best. But I didn’t think you had it in you to turn your back on your family.”

Tina whipped her head around and glared at her husband. “I didn’t! You don’t know anything about my mother or my sisters.” She had made sure of that. She didn’t want Dev to see the family dynamics. He would notice how she was treated differently.

“I know your mother is confused and hurt by the silence she’s received for four months.”

Tina rubbed her hands over her face. The secrecy had been necessary. Her mother wouldn’t have been sympathetic. Reema Sharma was not just her mother, she was also her manager. It was not the ideal situation. For a while Tina had recognized that her mother’s advice was not based on what was best for Tina, but what was best to support the family.

“I’ve kept in contact,” she muttered.

Dev scoffed at her. “Paying their bills through your accountant is not staying—”

“How do you know about that?” She never discussed her salary and expenditures with Dev and she had been grateful that he had never asked. He was very traditional in his thinking that he would financially support her.

“When you first disappeared, I thought you would have returned to your mother’s house,” Dev said as he rose from his chair.

Tina groaned and rubbed her forehead. She tried to imagine the rich and sophisticated Dev Arjun visiting her mother’s home. She was certain the entire neighborhood would have been there to meet him. And knowing Reema, she had charged for tickets. “How much money did my family get out of you?”

“I was happy to help out,” Dev said with a shrug.

“You shouldn’t have done it. They are my responsibility,” Tina said. She hated how much her mother obsessed over money. Tina had been constantly told how much she had cost her mother—the dreams, the security, the husband. She knew she had been a burden on her mother and nothing she did would make up for it.

Dev glanced at his wristwatch. “We should leave for the studios,” he said. “I told your mother that we would be there at nine.”

Tina recognized the vintage timepiece. She had given it to him early in their affair when she had discovered he appreciated those works of art. Tina looked away as she remembered how she had teased him about his inability to be punctual when he had a collection of high-end and technology-advanced watches.

“My mother is peculiar that way.” Tina couldn’t shake off the dread that made her sag her shoulders and drag her feet. “When she says she’ll be somewhere at nine, she really means nine.”

“Let’s go meet them,” Dev said.

An hour later Tina sat rigidly next to her husband in the back of the luxury car. As the driver turned on a busy street, Tina clenched her hands into fists and bent her head. It had taken longer than usual for her to get ready. She was nervous about her first visit to Arjun Film Studios. He had not invited her before and Tina had been reluctant to drop by unannounced. She had always suspected he kept her away because she didn’t meet up to the Arjun high standards. She knew she had to look the part as the boss’s wife. Dressed in a bright yellow designer dress, stiletto heels and dark sunglasses, she looked like a Bollywood star. The ensemble was her armor, hiding her tension and uncertainty.

She glanced again at Dev. He was dressed casually in jeans and a black dress shirt. He didn’t have to try hard to look like a movie star. “You don’t have to be part of the reunion,” she muttered.

“Is there something I should know?” Dev asked as he scrolled through the messages on his phone. “Do you not get along with your family?”

“We’re fine.” The driver took a turn and Tina saw the sign for the Arjun Film Studios. She studied the large modern building. “This is your film studio?”

“It was built a couple of years ago to meet international standards,” Dev said proudly as Tina stared at the green landscape that surrounded the white building. The entrance was a tower of glass windows. “We have soundstages, recording studios and dance rehearsal halls under one roof.”

All the necessities to make a Bollywood hit, Tina thought dazedly as she continued to stare at the building. The music and dancing were required for every masala movie. Only when she worked on a movie, her dance rehearsals were done in crowded rooms or outside in the sweltering heat.

Tina noticed the buzz of activity when she walked in the lobby with Dev. Young men and women, dressed casually in a mix of tunic shirts and jeans, were rushing around. They carried papers, cell phones and small glass cups of tea. There was a sense of urgency and creativity in the atmosphere.

Tina spotted her mother sitting on the bright blue chair among the contemporary artwork depicting famous movie scenes. Tina was surprised that tears pricked her eyes when she saw Reema Sharma. Her mother’s long black braid was streaked liberally with gray hair and red henna. Her white embroidered dupatta slipped over her shoulders and her dark blue shalwar kameez strained against her voluptuous curves.

“Amma!” Tina said in greeting as she stood in front of her mother. Inhaling the floral scent that she always associated with the older woman, Tina bowed down and touched her mother’s foot with respect.

“I hate your hair,” Reema said as she pulled a spiky tuft. “What were you thinking? No one is going to hire you when you look like a boy.”

“She could never be confused for a boy,” Dev drawled as he greeted her mother.

Tina rose to her full height and glanced at Dev. She felt a pull deep in her belly when she saw the gleam of desire in his eyes. She blushed and hurriedly looked away. How could he look at her like that, when he had seen her at her very worst? No amount of makeup or gloss could erase those moments when her eyes had been dulled, her hair lank and her face colorless.

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