Capturing The Single Dad's Heart

Erin felt that same prickle of awareness as when their hands had touched over the scones. But this time, instead of avoiding eye contact, she looked him straight in the eye. Nate’s pupils were dilated to the point where his eyes looked almost black.

Oh, help. It looked as if this attraction she felt towards him was mutual, then. What were they going to do about it? Because this situation was impossible.

His face was serious. ‘Erin.’ He reached out and cupped her cheek in his palm, then brushed his thumb over her lower lip.

She felt hot all over and her skin tingled where he touched her.

‘Nate. We’re right in the middle of the hospital,’ she whispered.

‘And anyone could see us. I know.’ He moved his hand away. ‘Erin, I think we need to talk.’

She knew he was right. ‘But not here.’ It was too public.

‘Where? When?’ His voice was urgent.

‘You said Caitlin would be all right with your mum for a while.’ She took a deep breath. Maybe she needed to be brave about this, as Mikey had suggested. Do it now. Tell him the truth. And if he walked away—well, it just proved that she’d been stupid to let him matter to her. ‘My place, right now?’

Dear Reader,

I’d got to that stage of life where I’m really fascinated by gardens—and then my friend Michelle told me about a news story of a sensory garden for spinal patients. What a perfect setting, I thought. Especially when I kept seeing stories about spinal patients in the news.

But who would get involved with a sensory garden? And who would think it was a bad idea?

Meet Erin, who has a lot of shadows in her past, and Nate, who has a lot of shadows in his present.

The sensory garden starts by keeping them apart, and then it is very instrumental in bringing them together. Add in a troubled teen—who reminds Erin very much of herself at that age—complicated families and the whole idea about how love happens when you least expect it…and you have what happens with Erin and Nate.

I hope you enjoy their journey—and that the garden inspires you as much as it did me.

I’m always delighted to hear from readers, so do come and visit me at katehardy.com.

With love,

Kate Hardy

KATE HARDY always loved books, and could read before she went to school. She discovered Mills & Boon books when she was twelve and decided this was what she wanted to do. When she isn’t writing Kate enjoys reading, cinema, ballroom dancing and the gym. You can contact her via her website: katehardy.com.

Capturing the

Single Dad’s

Heart

Kate Hardy

www.millsandboon.co.uk

To Michelle Styles, with love and thanks for the lightbulb

Praise for Kate Hardy

‘This was a truly stunning, heartfelt read from Kate Hardy. She blew me away with the intensity of the heartache in this read.’

—Contemporary Romance Reviews on The Brooding Doc’s Redemption

‘Bound by a Baby moved me to tears many times. It is a full-on emotional drama. Author Kate Hardy brought this tale shimmering with emotions. Highly recommended for all lovers of romance.’

—Contemporary Romance Reviews

Bound by a Baby won the 2014 RoNA (Romantic Novelists’ Association) award!

Contents

COVER

INTRODUCTION

Dear Reader

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

TITLE PAGE

DEDICATION

Praise for Kate Hardy

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

EPILOGUE

COPYRIGHT

CHAPTER ONE

WHY WOULD YOU turn down every single invitation to a team night out when you were new to the department? Erin wondered. Surely you’d want to get to know your colleagues and help yourself fit in to the team more quickly, rather than keep your distance?

Nate Townsend was a puzzle.

As a colleague, he was fine; she’d done a few ward rounds with him, and had been pleased to discover that he was good with their patients. He listened to their worries, reassured them and explained anything they didn’t understand without showing the least bit of impatience. The team in Theatre had all been thrilled to report that, unlike the surgeon he’d replaced, Nate was precise with his instructions and always bothered to thank the nursing staff.

But he didn’t socialise with the team at all. There was always a polite but guarded smile, a rueful shrug of the shoulders, and, ‘Sorry, I can’t make it,’ when anyone asked him to join them. No excuses, no explanations. Just a flat no: whether it was a drink, a meal, going ten-pin bowling or simply catching the latest movie. He didn’t even have lunch or coffee with any of his colleagues in the spinal unit; he grabbed a sandwich at his desk instead and wrote up his notes so he could leave straight at the end of his shift.

Erin knew that some people preferred to keep themselves to themselves, but she’d been working at the London Victoria since her first year as a junior doctor, and the friendliness of her colleagues had always made even the most harrowing day more bearable. Why did Nate rebuff everyone? Did he have some kind of complicated home life that meant he needed to be there as much as he could outside work and just didn’t have the energy to make friends with his colleagues?

Not that it was any of her business.

Then she became aware that Nick, the head of their department, was talking to her.

She really ought to be paying attention in the monthly staff meeting instead of puzzling over her new colleague.

And it wasn’t as if she was interested in Nate anyway, even if it turned out that he was single. Erin was very firmly focused on her career. She’d let her life be seriously derailed by a relationship when she was younger, and she was never going to make that mistake again. Friendship was all she’d ever offer anyone from now on. ‘Sorry, Nick. I didn’t quite catch that,’ she said with a guilty smile.

‘No problems. Can you bring us up to date on the sensory garden?’

Erin’s pet project. The one that would help her make a real difference to their patients’ lives. She smiled and opened her file. ‘I’m pleased to report that we’re pretty much ready to start. The hospital’s agreed to let us transform the piece of land we asked for, the Friends of the London Victoria are working out a rota for the volunteers, and Ed’s finalised the design—the committee just has to approve it. But they liked the draft version so it’s pretty much a formality and we’re planning to start the ground work in the next week or so.’

‘Hang on,’ Nate said. ‘What’s the sensory garden?’

‘We’re remodelling part of the hospital’s grounds as a sensory garden, and making sure it’s accessible to our patients,’ Erin explained.

He frowned. ‘That kind of project costs an awful lot of money. Wouldn’t those funds be better spent on new equipment for the patients?’

This was Nate’s first monthly team meeting, so he wouldn’t know that Erin had been working on the garden project for almost a year in her spare time. She was sure he didn’t mean to be rude, so she’d cut him some slack. ‘I know that sensory gardens have a reputation for costing an arm and a leg, but this one’s not going to cost anywhere near what you imagine,’ she said with a smile. ‘We already have the grounds, and the designer’s working with us for nothing.’

‘For nothing?’ Nate looked sceptical.

‘For publicity, then,’ she said. ‘The main thing is that he’s not charging us for the actual design.’ Like Erin herself, Ed the garden designer had a vested interest in the project. This was his way of giving something back, because the spinal unit at the London Victoria had treated his younger brother after a motorcycle accident. But it wasn’t her place to tell Nate about their former patient. ‘Actually, I hope he gets a ton of clients who respond to his generosity.’

‘Hmm.’ Nate’s blue eyes were so dark, they were almost black. And right at that moment they were full of scepticism. Did he really have that bitter a view about human nature?

‘The labour isn’t costing us anything, either,’ Erin continued. ‘Ayesha—she’s the chair of the Friends of the London Victoria—is setting up a rota of volunteers from across the community. So that’s everyone from students who want some work experience for their CVs through to people who just enjoy pottering around in the garden in their spare time,’ she explained. ‘It’s going to be a true community garden, so it will benefit everyone. And the rota’s not just for planting the garden, it’s for maintaining it as well.’

‘What about the cost of the plants and any other materials used in the design?’ Nate asked.

‘Some things have been donated by local businesses,’ she said, ‘and the staff here, our patients and their families have been raising funds for the last year. We have enough money to cover the first phase of the project.’

‘And you really think a sensory garden’s the best way to spend that money?’ he asked again.

Just who did the guy think he was? He’d been here almost a month, kept himself completely aloof from the team, and now he was criticising a project that had been months and months in the planning without having a single positive thing to say about it? Erin gritted her teeth in annoyance and, instead of letting her boss deal with it—the way she knew she should’ve done—she gave Nate Townsend her most acidic smile. If he wanted an answer, he’d get one.

‘Actually, I do, and I’m not alone,’ she said crisply. ‘As you know, most of our patients have just had a massive and unexpected life change. They have to make a lot of adjustments—and they can be stuck inside in a clinical environment for months, just staring at the same four walls. A garden will be a restful space for them to sit in and have some quiet time with family and friends, chat with other patients, or even just sit and read in a space that’s a bit different. It’ll help them start getting used to their new lives rather than just feeling that they’re stuck inside the same four walls all the time with no greenery. A sensory garden has scent, sound, texture, colour and even taste—all things that stimulate our patients and can help with their recovery.’

‘You said a restful space,’ Nate repeated. ‘How are you going to find that in the centre of London, with traffic going past all the time?’

‘Fair point,’ she conceded, understanding his scepticism on that particular subject, ‘but we’re using hedging to lessen the impact of the traffic noise. You’re very welcome to have a copy of the plans.’ She looked him straight in the eye. ‘Constructive comments from someone with relevant experience are always welcome.’

His eyes widened slightly to acknowledge the point of her comment; clearly he understood that she didn’t think he was being constructive at all or had any relevant experience.

But that didn’t stop him asking more questions. ‘So what about the fact that some of our patients have problems regulating their temperature and can get either too hot or too cold in a garden?’

‘Phase two,’ she said, ‘will be a covered space to help those particular patients. But we’re beginning the first phase now so our patients and their families can start to benefit from the garden as soon as possible, rather than having to wait until we have all the money for the second phase. And, before you mention the fact that our patients are usually confined to wheelchairs, we’re making sure that the pathways have no bumps and are smooth-running for anyone in a chair. Actually, Ed—the landscape designer—even spent a few hours being wheeled about the grounds in a chair so he could see for himself where the problems are.’

‘Right.’ But Nate still didn’t look convinced.

She sighed. ‘I did a lot of research before I suggested the project. And I’ve visited sensory gardens both in England and in Scandinavia.’ The glint in his eye made her add, ‘At my own cost, during my annual leave.’

‘Very public-spirited of you,’ he drawled.

She was really starting to dislike him now. How dared he judge her?

Though there was some truth in his barb. The whole reason she’d thrown herself behind the sensory garden project was because she’d seen the difference it had made to her brother. And helping to make that same difference to their patients might go some way towards lessening her guilt about what had happened to Mikey.

Might. She knew that her brother had forgiven her a long time ago, but she still couldn’t forgive herself.

‘It’s important,’ she said quietly. ‘From a medical point of view, exposure to nature helps with pain management, reduces stress and increases feelings of calm and relaxation.’

He shrugged. ‘That’s a bit New Agey, don’t you think?’

‘Apart from the fact that garden therapy has been used as far back as ancient Greece,’ Erin pointed out, ‘in modern terms you can actually measure the effect on the patient’s blood pressure and heart rate. Plus a change of scene makes a mental difference. It might be a very small thing to you and me, and we all probably take it for granted, but for a patient who’s been stuck inside for weeks it’s a massive thing to be able to go outside.’

Finally, to Erin’s relief, Nick spoke up. ‘As the project’s already been agreed, perhaps we should all just agree to disagree on the use of funds and what have you.’

‘Sure,’ Nate said easily. ‘And, as the new boy, I know I shouldn’t make waves. But my sister’s a deputy headmistress, and she tells me that the thing she likes best about having a new governor on the team is that you get a critical friend—someone who looks at things from the outside with a fresh pair of eyes and asks questions. I guess I was trying to do the same thing here.’

‘You’re very welcome to a copy of the file,’ Erin said again, ‘if you want to check the costings and make sure I haven’t missed anything.’

‘I’ll take you up on that,’ he said.

Erin simmered through the rest of the meeting. Critical friend, indeed. There was nothing friendly about Nate Townsend. He might be easy on the eye—on his first day, several of her female colleagues had declared him one of the sexiest men they’d ever met, with his Celtic good looks of dark hair, pale complexion and navy blue eyes—but in her view character was much more important than looks. And she really didn’t like what she’d seen of Nate Townsend today.

And of course she would have to do the ward rounds with him after the meeting.

‘Do you have a particular way you’d prefer to do the ward rounds this morning?’ she asked, knowing that she sounded snippy but not being able to stop herself.

‘I’m quite happy to follow the normal protocol here,’ he said mildly.

‘That’s not the impression you gave in the meeting.’ The words were out before she could hold them back.

‘I apologise if I upset you,’ he said. ‘Why is the garden so important to you?’

He seriously thought she was going to tell him that—so he could go ahead and judge her as harshly as she judged herself? No way. ‘I’ve been working on the project for a year,’ she said instead. ‘And I’ve seen the difference it’s made to patients elsewhere. Phase one is the garden, phase two is the covered area, and maybe we can have some raised beds in phase three and a greenhouse so the patients can grow plants. If it proves to them that they can still do something, that they can still contribute to life instead of having to be looked after every second of the day and feel like a burden to everyone, it’ll help them adjust to their new life and the prospect of having to change their career.’

‘I think Nick’s right,’ Nate said, his expression inscrutable. ‘For now we’ll agree to disagree.’

She inclined her head. ‘As you wish. Though I’d be interested to know why you’re so against the project.’

‘Because several times before now I’ve seen funds raised to help patients and then wasted on people’s pet hobbyhorses,’ he said.

Deep breath, she told herself. He might be right about it being her pet hobbyhorse, but the rest of it was way off the mark. ‘I can assure you that what we’re doing isn’t a waste of funds. And it’s not just about the patients. As I said, it’s a community garden, with local volunteers helping. That’s everyone from older people who’ve moved into a flat and miss having a garden through to young mums who want just a couple of hours a week doing something that’s not centred around the baby, and the local sixth form’s involved, too. It’s a project that gives extra credit towards exams for some of them, and others can talk about it on their personal statement when they apply to university. It’s getting everyone working together to make a difference and absolutely everyone involved gets some benefit from it. I’m sorry if you see a garden as a waste of money, but the rest of us really don’t.’

* * *

Erin was really passionate about this project, Nate thought. Her face had been full of animation when she’d talked about the garden and what she thought it could do for their patients.

Then he shook himself mentally. Yes, Erin Leyton was pretty, with her curly light brown hair caught back at the nape of her neck, clear grey eyes and a dusting of freckles across her nose. But, even if he were in a place where he could think about having a relationship—which he most definitely wasn’t, with his life being in utter chaos right now—it would be way too complicated, given that they had such opposing views on fundamental things.

Though maybe he was only being scratchy with her because he was so frustrated with how things were going outside work, and that wasn’t fair of him. It wasn’t Erin’s fault that his ex-wife had dropped a bombshell on him only a week before he’d started his new job and he’d been running round like a headless chicken ever since, trying to sort everything out. And it definitely wasn’t Erin’s fault that he hated himself for being such a failure.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘You’re right—it’s like the new boy stamping everywhere to try and make an impression.’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘You were thinking it, though.’

She gave him a rueful smile. ‘Can you blame me?’

‘No—and actually, it isn’t that at all. I apologise. I shouldn’t bring my baggage to work.’

The hostility in her grey eyes melted in an instant. ‘Apology accepted. And sometimes,’ she said quietly, ‘it helps to have someone to talk to—someone who isn’t involved with the situation and won’t judge you or spread gossip.’

She was offering him a shoulder to cry on, even after he’d been combative towards her in a meeting involving what was clearly her pet project? That was unbelievably generous. Then again, he wasn’t that surprised. He’d already noticed Erin’s name at the top of all the internal memos organising a team night out or a collection for someone’s birthday or baby shower. He had a feeling that she was one of life’s fixers.

Well, his life couldn’t be fixed right now. He wasn’t sure if it ever could be. ‘Thanks for the offer,’ he said, ‘but I don’t really know you.’

She shrugged, but he could see the momentary flash of hurt on her face. ‘Fair enough. Forget I said anything.’

He felt like a heel, but he couldn’t even offer anyone friendship at the moment. Not until he’d sorted things out with Caitlin and established a better relationship with her. And he had no idea how long that was going to take. Right now it felt like it was never going to happen.

‘Let’s do the ward rounds,’ he said. ‘We have Kevin Bishop first. He’s forty-five, but he has the spine of a sixty-five-year-old—it’s a really bad case of stenosis.’

‘Is that from normal wear and tear,’ she asked, ‘or is it job-related?’

‘Probably a bit of both. He’s a builder. He has two worn discs, and the sheath around his spinal cord has narrowed,’ Nate explained.

‘Which would put pressure on his spinal nerves—so it sounds as if the poor guy’s been in a lot of pain,’ she said, her face full of sympathy.

‘He’s been taking anti-inflammatories,’ Nate said, ‘but he says they don’t even touch the pain any more.’

‘So you’re looking at major surgery and weeks of rehabilitation?’ she asked. ‘If so, Mr Bishop could be a candidate for the sensory garden.’

‘No, no and no,’ Nate said. ‘He won’t be here for long. I’m planning to use an interspinous spacer device this afternoon rather than doing a laminectomy.’

‘I’ve read about that,’ she said. ‘Isn’t there a larger risk of the patient needing to have surgery again in the future if you use a spacer rather than taking a slice of bone off the area putting pressure on his spinal cord?’

‘Yes, but there’s also a much lower risk of complications than you’d get from taking off the bit of bone that rubs and causes the pain, plus it’s just a small incision and he’ll be out again in a couple of days. I’d normally use the procedure for older patients or those with higher risks of surgery,’ Nate said. ‘Kevin Bishop is still young but, given that he’s overweight and has high blood pressure, I think he’s higher risk.’

‘Fair enough. So how exactly does the spacer work?’

Nate could see that she was asking from a professional viewpoint rather than questioning his competence; he knew that Erin was a neurologist rather than a surgeon. ‘We’ll put a spacer into his lower vertebrae. It’ll act as a supportive spring and relieve the pressure on the nerve. It gives much better pain relief than epidural steroid injections, plus the spinal nerves aren’t exposed so there’s a much lower risk of scarring.’ He paused. Maybe this would be a way of easing the tension between them after that meeting. ‘Provided Mr Bishop gives his consent, you can come and watch the op, if you like.’

‘Seriously?’ She looked surprised that he’d even offered.

‘Seriously.’ Was she going to throw it back in his face, or accept it as the offer of a truce?

‘I’d really like that. Thank you.’ She smiled at him.

Again Nate felt that weird pull of attraction and reminded himself that this really wasn’t appropriate. For all he knew, Erin could be in a serious relationship. Not that he was going to ask, because he didn’t want her to think that he was interested in her. He didn’t have the headspace or the mental energy right now to be interested in anyone. His focus needed to be on his daughter and learning how to be a good full-time dad to her. ‘Uh-huh,’ he said, feeling slightly awkward, and went with Erin to see his patient.

He introduced her swiftly to Kevin Bishop.

‘I’ve reviewed the scans of your spine, Mr Bishop, and your blood tests are all fine, too, so I’m happy to go ahead with surgery today,’ he said. ‘Would you mind if Dr Leyton here sits in on the operation?’

‘No, that’s fine,’ Mr Bishop said, looking relieved. ‘I’m just glad you’re going to do it today. I’m really looking forward to being able to tie my own shoelaces again, and to stand up without my legs tingling all the time.’

‘It’s been that bad?’ Erin asked sympathetically.

Mr Bishop nodded. ‘The pain’s been terrible. Rest doesn’t help and the tablets don’t seem to work any more. My doctor said I’d have to have surgery—I was dreading the idea of being stuck in hospital for weeks, but Mr Townsend said that I’d only be in for a few days.’ He gave her a weary smile. ‘I just want to be able to play football with my kids again and get back to my job.’