It Started With A Kiss: The Secret Love-Child / Facing Up to Fatherhood / Not a Marrying Man

Isabel hadn’t brought Rafe along with her to remain frustrated for long.

When he said nothing, she spun back round and glared at him, her hands finding her hips.

‘Well, what do you think?’

‘I think you should come over here,’ he said, and downed the rest of his orange juice.

A quiver ran all through her as she walked towards him. What was he going to do to her? Or make her do to him?

When he handed her the empty glass, she just stared at him.

‘What’s this?’ she said.

‘I’ve finished. I thought you might like to clear the table.’

‘Then you thought wrong,’ she snapped.

‘In that case, what do you want to do? Or should I say, what is it you want me to do to you? If you tell me in minute explicit detail, Isabel, I’ll do it exactly as you describe. Anything you want, honey. Anything at all.’

Her mouth had gone dry. ‘Anything?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘I…I don’t know what I want…’

He took the empty glass out of her hands, put it back on the table, then drew her down onto his lap. ‘Yes you do,’ he murmured as he moved aside the tiny triangles which barely covered her breasts and began playing with her nipples. ‘You know exactly what you want.’

‘I…’ She could hardly think with him doing what he was doing. Her nipples had tightened into twin peaks of heightened sensitivity, and he was rolling them with his fingertips in exquisite circles.

‘Tell me,’ he said, his breath hot in her ear. ‘Tell me…’

She shuddered and squirmed. ‘No,’ she croaked. ‘No, I can’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘It’s…it’s too embarrassing.’

‘Then I’ll tell you what you want. You want me to give you a climax first. With my tongue. You want me to wait this time, till I’m climbing the walls like I was our first time together. Even then, you want to torment me some more with this sexy mouth of yours.’

His right hand lifted from her aching nipples to touch her lips, making them gasp apart. She automatically sucked in when he slipped a finger inside.

‘Yes, just like that,’ he said thickly, sliding his finger in and out of her mouth. ‘You’d like to do that to me, wouldn’t you, Isabel?’

She shuddered all over.

‘And then,’ he went on in a low seductive whisper, ‘you want me to do it to you like there’s no tomorrow. You want me to scatter your mind, to make you feel nothing but the wild heat of the moment, and the beautiful blissful oblivion that will follow afterwards.’

When his hot words finally stilled, so did that finger. A charged silence descended, with no sounds but the heaviness of his breathing and the waves on the beach.

Isabel wasn’t breathing at all!

Suddenly, his chair scraped back and he was up and carrying her, not over to the bure and the bed, as she was desperately hoping, but down the path which led to the beach. She was startled when he dumped her into the hammock on the way past then continued on himself to run across the sand and plunge into the ocean. Meanwhile, she had to clutch wildly at the sides of the swinging hammock to stop herself from falling out.

When he returned less than a minute later, all wet and smiling, she threw him the blackest look. ‘You did that deliberately, didn’t you?’ she growled, still clutching at the hammock. ‘Turned me on, then made me wait some more.’

‘Nope. It just happened that way. Perversely, I turned myself on even more than I was trying to do to you. I had no idea just talking about sex like that was so powerful. Had to go cool myself off before things became downright humiliating. But I’m back now, ready and able to put my words into action. So where shall we begin, lover? Right here in the hammock?’

‘Don’t be silly. The darned thing won’t stay still. And you don’t have a condom with you.’

‘I wasn’t going to have actual sex with you here, Isabel,’ he said drily. ‘If you recall, that doesn’t come till much later in the scenario I outlined, by which time I’m to carry you back to the bure.’

Her mouth gaped open. ‘You…you mean you’re going to do what you…d…d…described?’

‘Every single bit of it. And so are you.’

Her face flamed.

‘You’ll like it, I promise,’ he purred as he pulled her round crosswise and began peeling off her bikini bottom.

She did like it. Too much. Way too much.

But he was wrong about afterwards. He might have fallen into blissful oblivion on the bed afterwards, but she lay there wide awake, her thoughts going round and round.

She wasn’t going to be able to give him up after a mere fortnight. That was the truth of it. She was going to want him around for much longer than that.

Why? That was the question. Was it the way he could make her forget everything but the moment? Was it for the brilliant and blinding climaxes he could give her? Or was it something more insidious, something she’d vowed never to do, ever again?

Fall in love…

Rolling over onto her side, she looked at him lying there, sprawled naked on the lemon sheets, his arms flung wide, his silky brown hair. Leaning forward, she lifted one heavy lock from across his eyes and dropped it onto the pillow, then removed another which was covering his nostrils and mouth.

As if sensing that he could now breathe more easily, he sighed a deep, contented sigh, his mouth almost smiling in his sleep.

Isabel found herself smiling as well. Maybe she wanted to keep him around because she just liked him. And because he seemed to really like her in return.

Liking was good, she decided. She could live with that.

Finally, Isabel’s worries calmed, she curled up to Rafe and went to sleep.

CHAPTER NINE

‘NO RINGING for a dinner drop tonight, Isabel,’ Rafe told her. ‘We need to get up, get dressed and get away from here for a while. Do something else for a few hours. Have a change of scene.’

Isabel’s head lifted and she smiled at him. ‘Yes, Rafe darling, but surely you don’t want me to get up and get dressed right at this precise moment.’

He stared back down into her cool blue eyes and wished he had the strength to tell her, yes, stop. Stop tormenting me. Stop enslaving me. Stop making me addicted to your body. And to you.

It was Wednesday, and they were back in bed, not long awake from an afternoon nap after a rather rigorous morning. They’d gone for a dawn swim after minimal sleep the night before and hadn’t bothered with swimwear. There was no one to see them, after all. No one to see what they did in the water. Or on the wet sand. Or in the hammock again.

The hammock…

Rafe swallowed as he thought of what he’d done to her in the hammock last night, how he’d used the silk sarong she’d been wearing to bind her hands to the rope up above her head. He’d never done anything like that before. And neither had she, if he was any guess.

But what a sight she’d been stretched out there, naked, in the moonlight. Rafe had been incredibly turned on. And Isabel…Isabel had been beside herself. She’d come so many times he lost count. In the end, she’d begged him to stop.

But he hadn’t been able to stop, not for a long long time.

And now he wasn’t able to stop her as she drew him deep into her mouth once more.

He moaned at the heat of it. And the wetness. It was like being sheathed in molten steel. He was going to come. He knew he was going to come.

His raw cry of warning stopped her, leaving him dangling right on the edge.

‘You have a problem, lover?’ she drawled huskily as she reached for one of the condoms they kept beside the bed.

He choked out a rueful laugh. ‘You’re cruel, do you know that?’

‘Now you know how I felt last night,’ she said as she protected them both. ‘Just as well my perfume acts as an effective insect repellent or I’d have been covered with insect bites.’

‘Instead, you have a few bites of another kind.’

‘Beast.’

‘You loved it.’

‘And you’re loving this. So why don’t you just lie back and enjoy?’

He sucked in sharply when she bent to take him in her mouth once more.

‘No, don’t,’ he groaned, and her head lifted, her eyes surprised. ‘No?’

‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘Not like that.’

He reached down and pulled her up and onto him, spreading her legs outside of his, then pushing his tormented flesh inside her once more. With a primal groan he grabbed her buttocks, kneading them as he rocked her quite roughly up and down on him. They came together, backs arching, mouths gaping wide apart, bodies throbbing wildly in unison.

‘Oh, Rafe,’ she cried, collapsing face down across his chest, her insides still spasming.

He held her to him till she stopped, though a shudder still ran through her every now and then.

Too much, he began thinking. This is all getting too much.

‘I have to go to the bathroom,’ he told her a bit brusquely.

‘No, don’t leave me,’ she begged, clinging to him.

‘Sorry. Nature calls.’ He was out of her and off the bed in a flash, lurching across the sea matting floor and into the bathroom. Closing the door, he leaned against it for a few air-sucking seconds before staggering over to the toilet, not really needing it except to do some essential personal housekeeping.

When he went to do just that, he stared down at himself in horror.

‘Oh, no…’ he muttered.

Not once had Rafe had a condom break before on him. Not once!

Till now…

His heart sinking, Rafe inspected the damage and it was the worst scenario possible. The darned thing had totally failed. Ripped asunder. Right across the tip.

Immediately he thought of Isabel and in his mind’s eye he could see millions of eager little tadpoles careering through her cervix and into her womb, swimming around with more energy than the Olympic water-polo team, watching and waiting to score a home goal.

What were the odds of their doing just that? he wondered frantically, his mind scouring his memory to recall what Isabel had said to him that Sunday just over two weeks ago. Something about her period being due that week. Probably early on in the week, he guessed. She’d said something about suffering from PMT that day.

Rafe did some mental arithmetic and worked out that if Isabel was a normal regular female with a normal monthly cycle, then she had to have already entered, or be entering, her ‘most likely to conceive phase’ right now.

Rafe sank down on the side of the spa bath. He might have just become a father!

His head whirled. So did his stomach. She was going to kill him when he told her.

Then don’t tell her, came the voice of male logic. It will only spoil everything. And there’s nothing you can do about it now. Besides, it might not happen. It might not be the right time. Even if it was, couples sometimes tried for years—hitting ovulation day right on the dot—and the woman didn’t fall pregnant. Let’s not be paranoid about this.

But what if Isabel had fallen pregnant. What then?

Cross that bridge when you come to it, Rafe.

Right. Good advice.

Rafe stood up, jumped into the shower and turned on the water. Picking up the shower gel, he poured a generous pool into his hands and slapped it onto his chest.

But a baby, he began thinking as he washed himself. His baby. His and Isabel’s baby.

Talk about the best plans of mice and men.

Isabel lay there listening to Rafe in the shower and thinking she could do with a shower herself. She felt icky. But no way was she going to join him in there, not after the way she’d just carried on, clinging to him and pleading for him to stay with her like some lovesick cow.

How typical of herself! And how humiliating!

No wonder he’d bolted out of the bed.

Rafe was right. It was high time they did something else instead of have sex. She was beginning to fall into old ways.

Isabel sighed. If only he was less skilful in the lovemaking department. If only he didn’t know exactly the sort of thing which excited her unbearably. If only he didn’t always turn the tables on her such as just now.

She’d thought she was being the boss in the bedroom, as she’d used to be sometimes with Luke, but in a flash Rafe had whipped control out of her hands and she’d become his willing little love slave again, as she’d been last night.

Isabel’s face flamed as she thought how crazy it had been of her to let him tie her up like that. But, ooh, it had been so deliciously thrilling. And really, down deep, she’d never felt worried. There’d been no fear in her, only excitement.

It had been a game, an erotic game. Just as this holiday together was a game. Rafe knew that. And she knew that.

So why did she keep forgetting?

No more, she resolved. From now on she would stick to the rules. And to the agreed agenda. As for any silly idea she’d been harbouring of seeing Rafe occasionally after this fortnight was over… That was not on. Experience warned her if she saw Rafe outside of this fantasy setting she was sure to fall in love with him, or start relying on him for her day-to-day happiness. She’d been there, done that, and she wasn’t ever going there again. Heaven help her, if she couldn’t learn from her past mistakes!

Isabel was lying there under a sheet, feeling relatively in control once more, when Rafe emerged from the steaming bathroom, rubbing his brown hair dry with a bright orange towel, a lime-green one slung rather hazardously low around his hips.

Wow, she thought as her gaze ran hungrily over him. He really was gorgeous, even more so now that he was sporting an all-over tan. She loved the long lean look on a man, loved broad bronzed shoulders which tapered down to a small waist. Loved tight little buns.

Not that she could see his buns at that moment. But she had an imprint in her memory bank.

‘It’s time you got up, lover,’ he said, draping the orange towel over his shoulder and finger-combing his hair back from his face. ‘It’s just gone five. I want to be gone from here by six.’

‘Fine. I was just waiting for you to finish,’ she replied, but, when she swung her feet over the side of the bed and sat up, Isabel hesitated. There wasn’t anything for her to put on at hand. She hadn’t worn any clothes all day and the sarong she’d been wearing last night was still tied to the hammock. The rest of her clothes were in the walk-in wardrobe, and it was actually further to walk over there than it was to the bathroom.

It was silly that walking around naked in front of Rafe should bother her. He’d seen every inch of her up close and personal. Too silly for words!

Gathering her courage, she tossed aside the sheet she’d been clutching and stood up, wincing a little once she started walking. Oh dear, she was icky. That was another thing she found a bit embarrassing. How wet she was all the time.

Not that Rafe minded. He said it was a real turn-on.

Still, once Isabel reached the shower she lathered herself up down there with some degree of over-enthusiasm, as if by removing the evidence of her ongoing heat, she could better keep her cool around him. A waste of time, she realised on remembering she had nothing to wear to dinner tonight but the choice of three highly provocative outfits, all bought to tease and tantalise, herself as well as Rafe.

Which one would do the least damage? she wondered. The little black dress?

No. It was way too little, halter-necked with no back and a short tight skirt which looked as if it was sewn on, owing to the material being stretchy.

What about the blue silk petticoat-style number with the swishy skirt?

No. Not with her nipples standing out all the time like ready-to-fire cannons. The material was too thin and the bodice too clingy.

It would have to be the emerald and gold trouser suit. Although still provocative, she at least got to wear a bra, of sorts. But the outfit did have other hazards. Such as the fulfilling of an old fantasy of hers to look like a harem girl. The pants were harem-style, and the emerald material semi-transparent, shot with gold thread. The outfit was only saved from indecency by being overlaid with a thigh-length jacket. The bra of sorts was a strapless corselette, heavily beaded in green and gold glass beads and designed to manoeuvre even the smallest of breasts into a cleavage. Isabel’s breasts, though not large, were not small either. The result was eye-catching to say the least.

Once dressed and made-up, Isabel stared at herself in the floor-length mirror which hung on the back of the walk-in wardrobe door and thought she’d never looked sexier. Her hair was up, though not in its usual French roll. She’d just bundled it up loosely in a very casual topknot, leaving strands of various lengths to fall around her face. The long green and gold crystal earrings in her ears would swing when she walked. If she could walk, she amended as she squeezed her feet into the outrageously high gold sandals she’d bought to go with the outfit.

‘Shake a leg in there, lover,’ Rafe called out. ‘It’s gone six.’

With a shudder which could have been excitement or apprehension, she dragged on the gauzy green jacket, sprayed on some perfume, then went to meet her master.

Rafe was out on the terrace, admiring the view in the dusk light and thinking that this place really was a fantasy come true when Isabel emerged from the bure, looking like something out of the Arabian Nights.

‘Well,’ he said, smiling wryly to her as he scraped back the chair and stood up. ‘If ever there was an outfit designed to turn a gay man straight, then you’re wearing it tonight.’

She laughed a slightly guilty-sounding laugh. ‘I didn’t bring any let’s-do-something-else clothes with me, I’m afraid.’

‘I see,’ he said drily. And he did. She was only here with him for the sex. She’d made that quite clear from the start.

And he’d been with her all the way. Till their little mishap this afternoon. Now, suddenly, everything had changed. Now, suddenly, when he looked at her, he didn’t see a delicious bedmate but a possible pregnancy.

Not that he didn’t still desire her. He’d have to be dead not to. It was just that other thoughts were now overriding his X-rated ones. Such as perhaps he should still tell her what had happened. It wasn’t too late for her to get the morning-after pill. They had a doctor on the island, he knew. And a chemist shop. He’d read the list of services available in one of the coffee-table brochures.

But, oddly, he hated the idea of her ridding her body of his baby—if his baby was in there. Peculiar, really, when he’d never wanted to be a father before. He still didn’t.

But she did. Want to be a mother, that is. She wanted one enough to have one on her own. So why not his? Better than having herself artificially inseminated. Bad idea, that.

‘Rafe! Why are you just standing there, frowning at me like that? What on earth are you thinking?’

‘What am I thinking?’ He took her arm and started propelling her down the path towards the jetty. ‘I was thinking that your idea of having a baby all by yourself is not a good one. In fact, it’s a very bad one. My mother found it extremely difficult raising me by herself, and she had help for the first eight years.’

‘Yes, well I can understand how raising you would have tried the patience of a saint,’ Isabel said. ‘But my baby won’t be having your impossible genes, Rafe, so hopefully my job won’t be quite so difficult.’

‘Is that so?’ Rafe smiled. He couldn’t help it. Irony always amused him.

‘Yes, that’s so!’ she pronounced haughtily.

‘But if you go through with this plan of yours to be artificially inseminated with some unknown donor, then you won’t have any idea what kind of genes your baby will inherit from its father. Surely even my genes would be better than the lucky-dip method.’

‘All that will be unknown is his name and address,’ she informed him somewhat impatiently. ‘I will know a lot of information about the donor. A complete physical description, all aspects of his health, his level of education, plus other personality traits such as his sporting interests and hobbies. That’s how I aim to choose him. I will look at the list of available donors and select the one which best fits my prerequisites.’

‘Fascinating. Here, I can see you’re having trouble walking in those heels. I’ll carry you.’ She went to object but he just swept her up into his arms and carried her across the sand towards the jetty.

‘Mmm. You’re as light as a feather. You know, I think you’ve lost weight since coming to this island. Too much exercise and not enough eating,’ he said, at which she pulled a face up at him.

‘We have to make sure you’re in tippy-top health, you know, if you’re planning to have a baby soon. Three good meals a day, and no silly dieting.’

‘Yes, Dr Saint Vincent,’ she mocked.

‘Just talking common sense. Of course perhaps you’re not serious about having a baby soon, or on your own at all. Maybe that was just talk.’

‘I’m deadly serious. We’re on the jetty now,’ she said curtly. ‘Please put me down.’

Rafe stared down into her eyes, suddenly aware of how stiffly she was holding herself in his arms. It hadn’t occurred to him when he picked her up that she might be turned on by it. Whilst her vulnerability to his closeness was very flattering, taking advantage of it wasn’t a priority of his at this precise moment.

He lowered her carefully onto those wicked-looking shoes. ‘So tell me, Isabel, what are your prerequisites for choosing the father of your child?’

‘No.’

‘No? What do you mean, no?’

‘I mean no, Rafe,’ she said firmly as she marched on ahead of him out along the jetty. ‘I am not going to have this conversation with you,’ she threw over her shoulder. ‘I wish I hadn’t told you about my plans now. Why you’re even interested is beyond me.’

He hurried after her. ‘Oh, come on, don’t be like that. If we’re going to sit across the table and have dinner for a couple of hours we have to talk about something. And I’m curious.’

She spun round to look him straight in the eye. ‘Why?’

‘Why not?’

For a moment her eyes flashed with frustration, but then she shrugged. ‘I might as well give in and tell you whatever you want to know, because you won’t give up, will you? You’ll get your way, like you did with the black and white photos. You’re like that Chinese water torture.’

He grinned. ‘I’ve been told that before.’

‘I can imagine. But you can’t have it all your own way all the time. If I’m to answer such highly personal questions then I have a few of my own I want answered.’

‘Fair enough.’ He had nothing to hide and, frankly, was intrigued over what she might want to know. More than intrigued. Rather pleased. Maybe she didn’t want him just for sex. Maybe she wanted more, whether she admitted it to herself or not.

The prospect of having a more permanent relationship with this beautiful and spirited woman brought a rush not dissimilar to sexual arousal. He’d never been entirely happy with the thought of never seeing Isabel again after this fortnight was over, but had brushed aside any qualms over the rather cold-blooded terms she had set down because he wanted her so much.

But things were different now.

If she was carrying his child, then going their separate ways was simply not on.

Rafe couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting down her body, first to her breasts—his baby was going to be very happy with those!—and then to her stomach—athletically flat at this moment. But he could imagine how it would look in a few months’ time, all deliciously soft and rounded.

Isabel’s insides contracted when she saw the direction of Rafe’s eyes. He was thinking about sex again. She could tell. The way he’d just gobbled up her cleavage, and now he was undressing her further. He was making her all hot and bothered inside again, like he had when he’d been carrying her just now.

‘Now you stop that!’ she snapped, and his eyes jerked up to her face.

‘Stop what?’