It Started With A Kiss: The Secret Love-Child / Facing Up to Fatherhood / Not a Marrying Man

‘Fine. He was fine.’

Isabel saw his dark eyes widen over the rim of his coffee-mug. Clearly, he’d been thinking she wasn’t going to hire him.

‘As good as Les?’ her mother asked. Les had been hired by her parents before, for their recent golden wedding anniversary party.

‘Better, I’d say.’

‘That’s a relief. I’ve waited a long time to see you married, love. I would like to have some decent photographs of the momentous event.’

Isabel’s eyes flicked up to the two most provocative photos on the wall and a decidedly indecent thought popped into her mind. What would it be like to be photographed by him like that? To be totally naked before him? To have him arranging filmy curtains or sliding satin sheets over her nude body? To have to stand—or lie—perfectly still in some suggestive pose for ages whilst he shot reel after reel of film, those sexy eyes of his focused only on her?

Just the thought of it sent her heartbeat even higher.

Fortunately, Isabel was not a female whose inner feelings showed readily on her face. She could look at a man and be thinking the hottest thoughts and still look cool. Sometimes, even uninterested. Which perhaps was just as well, or she’d have spent half of her life in bed.

She didn’t flirt easily. Neither was she capable of the sort of coy sugary behaviour some men seemed to find both a come-on and a turn-on. Most men found her slightly aloof, even snobbish. They often confused her ice-blonde looks and ladylike manner with being prudish and undersexed. Which perhaps explained why most of her lovers had been men who dared to do what a gentleman wouldn’t, men who simply rode roughshod over her seeming uninterest and simply took what they wanted.

Isabel looked at the man sitting opposite her and wondered what kind of lover he’d be.

Not that you’re ever going to find out, her conscience reminded her harshly.

‘I have to go, Isabel,’ her mother was saying. ‘Your father and I were just having a bite to eat before we go down the club. When will you be home? Will you be eating with us tonight?’

Isabel had been living with her parents during the last few weeks leading up to the wedding. She’d quit her flat, plus her job as receptionist at the architectural firm where Luke worked, content to become a career wife and home maker after their marriage. She and Luke were going to try for a baby straight away.

‘As far as I know,’ she told her mother whilst she continued to watch the man opposite with unreadable eyes. ‘Unless Luke comes back today and wants to go out somewhere. If he happens to ring, you could ask him. And tell him I’ll be back home by one at the latest.’

‘Will do. Bye, love.’

‘Bye, Mum.’

She clicked off the phone then bent down to tap it against the album on the coffee-table. ‘Very impressive,’ she said, giving him one of her super cool looks, the ones she fell back on when her thoughts were at their most shocking. Pity she couldn’t have rustled one up earlier when his barb about her wearing white at her wedding had sent a most uncharacteristic flush to her cheeks. Still, she was back in control now. Thank heavens.

She put down the phone and opened the album to a page which held a traditional full-length portrait of a woman in an evening gown. ‘I liked this portrait very much. If you feel you could reproduce shots like this, then you’re hired.’

‘I don’t ever reproduce anything, Isabel,’ he returned quite huffily. ‘I’m an artist, not a copier.’

Isabel’s patience began to wear thin. ‘Do you want this job or not?’ she threw at him.

‘As I said before, I’m doing this as a favour to Les. The question is…do you want me or not?’

Isabel’s eyes met his and she had a struggle to maintain her equilibrium. If only he knew…

‘I suppose you’ll have to do,’ she managed to say.

‘Such enthusiasm. When and where?’

How about here and now?

‘The wedding is at four o’clock at St Christopher’s Church at Burwood, a fortnight from today. And the reception is at a place in Strathfield called Babylon.’

‘Sounds exotic.’

It was, actually. Isabel had a secret penchant for the exotic. Though you’d never tell by looking at her. She always dressed very conservatively. But her favourite story as a child had been Aladdin, and she’d often dreamt of being a harem girl, complete with sexy costume and gauzy veils over her face.

‘Do you want me to come to your house beforehand?’ he asked. ‘A lot of brides want that. Though some are too nervous to pose well at that stage. Still, when I was doing weddings regularly, I developed a strategy for relaxing them which helped on some occasions.’

‘Oh?’ Isabel tried to stop her wicked imagination from taking flight once more, but it was a lost cause.

‘I’d give them a good…stiff…drink,’ he said between sips of his coffee.

How she kept a straight face, Isabel would never know.

‘I don’t drink,’ she lied.

‘Figures,’ he muttered, and she almost laughed.

He obviously thought she was a prude.

‘Don’t worry,’ she went on briskly. ‘I won’t be nervous. And, yes, I’m sure my mother will want you to come to the house beforehand. I’ll jot down the address and phone number for you.’ She pulled out a pen from her bag, plus a spare business card from her hairdresser, and wrote her parents’ details on the back.

‘What say you arrive on the day at two?’ she suggested as she handed it over to him, then stood up.

He put down his coffee, stared at the card, then stood up also.

‘Is this your regular hairdresser?’ he asked.

The question startled her. ‘Yes, why?’

‘Did they do your hair today?’

‘No. I did it myself. I only go to a hairdresser when I want a cut. I like to do it myself.’ Aside from the money it cost, she wasn’t fond of the way some hair-dressers had difficulty following instructions.

‘So you’ll be doing your hair on your wedding day?’

‘Yes.’

‘Not like that, I hope,’ he said as he slipped the card into his shirt pocket.

Isabel bristled. ‘What’s wrong with it like this?’

‘It’s far too severe. If you’re going to have it up, you need something a little softer, with some pieces hanging around your face. Here. Like this.’

Before she could step away, or object, he was by her side, his fingers tugging at her hair and touching her cheeks, her ears, her neck.

It was one thing to keep her cool whilst she was just thinking about him, quite another with his hands on her. His fingertips were like brands on her skin, leaving heated imprints in her flesh and sending quivery ripples down her spine.

‘Your hair seems quite straight,’ he was saying as he stroked several strands down in front her ears. ‘Do you have a curling wand?’

‘No,’ she choked out, knowing she should step back from him but totally unable to. She kept staring at the V of bare skin in his open-necked shirt and wondering what he would look like, naked.

‘I suggest you buy one, then. They’re cheap enough.’

Her eyes lifted to find he was studying not her hair so much, but her mouth. For one long, horribly exciting moment, Isabel thought he was going to kiss her. She sucked in sharply, her lips falling apart as a shot of excitement zinged through her veins. But he didn’t kiss her, and she realised with a degree of self-disgust that she’d just been hoping he would.

But what if he had? came the appalling thought. What if he had?

Just the thought of risking or ruining what she had with Luke made her feel sick.

‘I must go,’ she said, and bent to pick up her bag, the action forcing his hands to drop away from her face. By the time she’d straightened he’d stepped back a little. But she had to get out of there. And quickly.

‘If I don’t hear from you,’ she added brusquely, ‘then I will expect you to show up at my parents’ home at two precisely, a fortnight from today. Please don’t be late.’

‘I am never late for appointments,’ he returned.

‘Good. Till then, then?’

He nodded and she swept past him, her bag brushing against him as she did so. She didn’t apologise, or look down. She kept going, not drawing breath till she was in her car and on the road home.

Relief was her first emotion once his place was well out of sight. Then anger. At herself; at the Rafe Saint Vincents of this world; and at fate. Why couldn’t Les have recommended a photographer like himself, a happily married middle-aged conservative bloke with three kids and a paunch?

When a glance in the rear-vision mirror reminded her she had bits of hair all over the place, courtesy of her Lord and Master, she pulled over to the kerb and pulled the pins out of her French roll, shaking her head till her hair fell down around her face like a curtain.

‘Maybe you’d like me to wear it like this!’ she stormed as she accelerated away again. ‘Lucky for me it isn’t longer, or you’d be suggesting I do a Lady Godiva act at my wedding. I could be the first bride ever to be photographed in the nude!’

She ranted and raved about him for a while, then at the traffic when it took her nearly twice as long to get home as it had to drive into the city. She was feeling more than a little stressed by the time she turned into her parents’ street, her agitation temporarily giving way to surprise when she spotted Luke’s blue car parked outside the house. She slid her navy car in behind it, frowning at Luke who was still sitting behind the wheel. When she climbed out, so did he, throwing her an odd look at her hair as he did so.

She felt herself colouring with guilt, which really annoyed her. She’d done nothing to be guilty about.

‘Luke!’ she exclaimed, trying not to sound as flustered as she was feeling. ‘What on earth are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you. Why didn’t you call me?’

‘I tried your mobile phone a while back,’ he said. ‘But you didn’t answer.’

‘What? Oh, I must have left the blasted thing behind at the studio. I took it out to ring Mum and tell her how long I’d be.’

Isabel wanted to scream. How could she have been so stupid as to leave it behind? Now she’d have to go back for it. And she’d have to see that man again, before the wedding.

‘Oh, too bad,’ she muttered, slamming the car door. ‘It can stay there till tomorrow. I’m not going back now.’

She could feel Luke’s puzzled eyes on her and knew she wasn’t acting like her usual calm self. She shook her head and threw him a pained look. ‘You’ve no idea the dreadful day I’ve had. The photographer I booked for the wedding’s had an accident and he made an appointment for me to meet this other man who’s not really suitable at all. Brilliant, but one of those avant-garde types who wants to do everything in black and white. I pointed out that I wouldn’t have selected a wine-red gown for my maid of honour if I’d wanted all the shots done in black and white, but would he listen to me? No! He even told me how he wanted me to wear my hair. As if I don’t know what suits me best. I’ve never met such an insufferably opinionated man.’

Isabel knew she was babbling but she couldn’t seem to stop.

‘Still, what can you expect from someone who fancies himself an artiste. You know the type. Struts around like he’s God’s gift to women. And he wears this earring in the shape of a phantom’s head, of all things. What a show pony! Goodness knows what our photographs are going to turn out like, but it’s simply too late to get someone else decent. His name’s Rafe—did I tell you? Rafe Saint Vincent. It wouldn’t be his real name, of course. Just a career move. Nobody is born with a name like Rafe Saint Vincent. Talk about pretentious!’

Isabel finally ran out of steam, only to realise that Luke was not only staring at her as if she’d lost her mind, but that he wasn’t looking his usual self, either.

Always well-groomed, Luke was the sort of man who kept ‘tall, dark and handsome’ at number one on every woman’s most wanted list.

‘Luke!’ she exclaimed. ‘You look like you’ve slept in your clothes. And you haven’t even shaved. That’s not like you at all.’ Unlike other men she would not mention. ‘What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were going to stay in your father’s old fishing cabin up on Lake Macquarie for the whole weekend.’ And do some proper grieving, Isabel had hoped. The poor darling had to have been through hell this past fortnight since his parents’ tragic deaths. Yet he’d been so brave about it all. And so strong.

‘The cabin wasn’t there any more,’ he said. ‘It had been torn down a few years before.’

‘Oh, what a shame,’ she murmured. But it explained why he was looking so disconsolate. ‘So where did you stay last night? In a motel? Or a tent?’ she added, hoping to jolly him up with a dab of humour.

‘No.’ He didn’t crack even the smallest of smiles. ‘Dad had built a brand-new weekender on the same site. I stayed there.’

‘But…’ Isabel frowned. ‘How did you get in? You didn’t break in, did you?’

‘No. There was a girl staying there for the weekend and she let me in.’

Isabel was taken aback. ‘And she let you sleep the night?’

Luke sighed. ‘It’s a long story, Isabel. I think we’d better go inside and sit down while I tell it to you.’

She tried not to panic. ‘Luke, you’re worrying me.’

When he took her arm and propelled her over to the front gate, she pulled out of his grip and lanced him with alarmed eyes. ‘You’re not going ahead with the wedding, are you?’

Isabel waited in an agony of anxiety for him to speak.

‘No,’ he finally answered, his expression grim. ‘No, I’m not.’

CHAPTER THREE

ISABEL stared at him, aghast. ‘Oh, no. No, Luke, don’t do this to me!’ Bursting into tears, she buried her stricken face in her hands.

‘I’m so sorry, Isabel,’ Luke said softly as he tried to take her into his arms.

‘But why?’ she wailed, gripping the lapels of his suit jacket and shaking them.

His eyes held apology. ‘I’ve fallen in love.’

‘Fallen in love!’ she gasped. ‘In less than a day?’

‘No one is more surprised than me, I can tell you. But it’s true. I came back straight away to tell you, and to call our wedding off.’

‘But love’s no guarantee of happiness, Luke,’ she argued in desperation. ‘I thought we agreed on that. It traps and tricks you. It really is blind. This girl you’ve supposedly fallen in love with—how do you know she’ll be good for you? How do you know she won’t make you miserable? You can’t possibly know her real character, not this quickly. She could be playing a part for you, pretending to be something she’s not. She might be a really bad person. A gold-digger, perhaps. A…a criminal even!’

‘She’s not any of those things,’ he returned, looking shocked by her arguments. ‘She’s a good person. I just know it.’

Isabel shook her head. One day! One miserable day! How could he know anything for sure? ‘I would never have believed you could be so naïve,’ she pronounced angrily. ‘A man like you!’

‘I’m not naïve,’ he denied. ‘Which is why I’m not rushing into anything. But I can’t marry you, Isabel, feeling as I do about Celia. Surely you can see that.’

Isabel was not in the mood to see anything of the kind. She wanted to cry some more. And to scream. She’d been so close to having her dream come true. So darned close!

‘Maybe I do and maybe I don’t,’ she grumbled, letting his lapels go. ‘I’d still marry you. I haven’t much time for the highly overrated state of being in love.’

And she’d thought he felt the same way.

‘Maybe that’s because you’ve never really been in love,’ Luke said.

Isabel’s laugh was tinged with bitterness. ‘I’m an expert in the subject. But that’s all right. You’ll live and learn, Luke Freeman, and when you do, give me a call. Meanwhile, let’s go inside, as you said. I need a drink. Not tea or coffee. Something much stronger. Dad still has some of the malt whisky I gave him for his birthday. That should do the trick.’

Isabel let herself into the house, Luke following.

‘But you don’t drink Scotch,’ he pointed out with a frown in his voice.

‘Aah, but I do,’ she threw over her shoulder at him as she strode into her parents’ lounge room, heading straight for the drinks cabinet in the corner. ‘When the occasion calls for it,’ she added, pouring herself half a glassful. ‘Which is now. Today. This very second.’

She knocked back half of it, steadfastly refusing to shudder like some simpering female fool while it burnt a red-hot path down her throat. ‘Ahh,’ she said with a lip-smacking sigh of satisfaction once it reached its destination. ‘That hits the spot. You want one?’ she asked Luke, but he shook his head.

Swirling the amber liquid in her glass, she walked over and settled in one of her mother’s large comfy armchairs, her feet curled up under her. Hooking her hair behind her ear with her left hand, she lifted the whisky to her lips and took another deep swallow. She glanced over at Luke, who was still standing near the doorway, looking startled by her behaviour.

Isabel supposed she wasn’t living up to the image he obviously had of her. Up till today it had been easy to play the role of the super-serene, super-sensible fiancée who was never fazed or upset by anything he did. Because he’d never done anything to really upset her.

Clearly, he didn’t know what to make of her as her real self, instead of Lady Isabel, the unflappable.

But did he honestly think he could roll up and tell her their wedding was off at this late stage with no trouble at all? Did he imagine she wouldn’t be hurt by his obviously being unfaithful to her last night?

The realisation that she had been mentally unfaithful to him today tempered her inner fury somewhat, and brought some sympathy and understanding for Luke’s actions. Marriages made with the head and not the heart might have worked in the past, she appreciated. But in this modern day and age, with all the abounding sexual temptations, such a union was a disaster waiting to happen.

Still, she would be surprised if it was true love compelling Luke to do this. More likely that good deceiver lust!

‘I suppose she’s beautiful, this Celia,’ she said drily.

‘I think so.’ Luke finally sat down as well.

‘What does she do?’

‘She’s a physiotherapist.’

A physiotherapist. Not only beautiful but clever and educated as well.

Isabel hadn’t embraced tertiary studies after leaving high school. Her exam results hadn’t been good enough. Oh, she wasn’t dumb, just not focused on her school work. She’d been far too interested in boys at the time, much to her parents’ dismay.

She had managed a brief receptionist course at tech. That, combined with her looks, had meant she’d been rarely out of a job. Over the years she’d become a top receptionist, computer literate and very competent.

Yet she’d never really been interested in a career as such. She’d always wanted marriage and motherhood. It irked Isabel that this Celia, however innocently, had stolen the one man who might have given her both.

‘And what was she doing, staying in your father’s weekender? Did he rent it out?’

‘No. She’s his mistress’s daughter.’

‘His what?’ Isabel’s feet shot out from under her as she snapped forward on the chair.

‘Dad’s mistress’s daughter,’ Luke repeated drily.

Isabel gaped. ‘No! I don’t believe you. Not your dad. With a mistress? That’s impossible. He was one of the best husbands and fathers I’ve ever met. He was one of the reasons I wanted to marry you. Because I believed you’d be just as good a family man.’

‘As I said…it’s a long story.’

‘And a fascinating one, I’m sure,’ Isabel mused. ‘It seems the Freeman men have a dark side I don’t know about.’

‘Could be,’ Luke agreed ruefully.

‘I wish I’d known about it sooner,’ she muttered, and swigged back the last of the whisky in her glass.

Luke shot her a puzzled look. ‘What do you mean by that?’

‘Oh, nothing. Just a private joke. I have this perverse sense of humour sometimes. Come on, tell me all the naughty details.’

‘I hope you won’t be too shocked.’

She chuckled. ‘Oh, dear, that’s funny. Me, shocked? Trust me, darling. I can never be seriously shocked by anything sexual.’

Luke frowned at her. ‘Did I ever really know you, Isabel?’

‘Did I ever really know you?’ she countered saucily.

Their eyes met and they smiled together.

‘You’ll find someone else, Isabel,’ Luke said with total confidence.

‘I dare say I will. But not quite like you, darling. You were one in a million. Your Celia is one lucky girl. I hope you’ll be very happy together.’ Privately, she didn’t think they would be, but who knew? Maybe Luke was a better picker than herself when it came to falling in love. If he was really in love, that was.

‘Thanks, Isabel. That’s very generous of you. But we won’t be rushing to the altar. Which reminds me. I will, of course, be footing the bill for any expenses your parents have encountered with the wedding. I’ll send them a cheque which should cover everything, and with some left over. And I’ll be doing the right thing by you, too.’

She shook her head, then slipped the solitaire-diamond engagement ring off her finger. ‘No, Luke. I wasn’t marrying you for your money. I know you might have thought I was, but I wasn’t. I was just pleased you were successful and stable. I wanted that security for my children. And for myself.’

When she went to give him the ring, he refused to take it. ‘I don’t want that ring back, Isabel. It’s yours. I gave it to you. You keep it, or sell it if you want to.’

Isabel came close to crying again. He really was the nicest man. He’d have made a wonderful father.

She shrugged and slipped the ring onto her right hand. ‘If you insist,’ she said, using every bit of her will-power to keep it together. ‘But I won’t sell it. I’ll wear it. It’s a beautiful ring. Fortunate, though, that I didn’t find any wedding rings I liked yesterday, so at least we don’t have to return them.’

Isabel was still amazed by the fact that less than twenty-four hours ago Luke had been very happy with her. But, as they said in the classics, there was many a slip ’twixt the cup and the lip.

She sighed, then stared regretfully into her now empty glass. ‘I’d better go get you your credit card while you’re here.’ And while she could still stand. That whisky was really working now.

‘That can wait,’ Luke said before she could get up. ‘I want to finish discussing the rest of my financial obligations first.’

She frowned. ‘What other financial obligations could you possibly have?’

‘I owe you, Isabel. More than a ring’s worth.’

‘No, you don’t, Luke. I never lived with you. I have no claim on you other than the expenses for the wedding.’

‘That’s not the way I see it. You gave up your job to become my wife. You expected to be going on your honeymoon in a fortnight’s time and possibly becoming a mother in the near future. Aside from that, married to me, you would never have had to worry about money for the rest of your life. I can’t help you with the honeymoon or the becoming a mother bit now, but I can give you the financial security for life that you deserve.’

‘Luke, truly, you don’t have to do this.’

‘Yes. I do. Now listen up.’

Isabel listened up, amazed when Luke insisted she have his town house in Turramurra, as well as a portfolio of blue-chip stocks and shares which would provide her with an independent income for life. It seemed his father had been a very rich man. And now so was Luke.

She thought about refusing, but then decided that would just be her pride talking. At least now she wouldn’t have to worry about having to live here under her parents’ roof till she found another job. Her mother was going to be very upset when she found out the wedding was off.

She smiled a wry smile at this wonderful man she had hoped to marry. ‘I always knew you were a winner. But I’d have preferred you as my husband rather than my sugar-daddy.’