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Sultry
Why now, of all times, did Tim have to bring up their mother’s suicide?
“Of course you’re not all right,” Tim muttered, seemingly more to himself than to her.
Lindsay licked her dry lips. “I’m okay, really. Mother was not something I expected to discuss, that’s all.”
“Me either,” Tim admitted, his weak chin jutting slightly. “I don’t know what the hell came over me.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to feel guilty for talking about her.”
“But I do,” he said harshly. “It all happened so long ago.”
“The summer I graduated from the university and you were in med school,” Lindsay acknowledged in a dazed voice. “Even at that, it seems like yesterday.” Her voice had suddenly turned hoarse, and she cleared her throat.
“Let’s change the subject, okay?” Tim said abruptly. “‘To hell with her’ is the way I see it. If she didn’t want to stay with us, then we’re better off without her.”
“Tim, please, don’t talk like that. What would Daddy think?”
“Who gives a damn? Haven’t you ever considered that he just might be partly to blame?”
“Of course I’ve considered it,” she responded, a wealth of sadness in her tone.
“His stable of women has always been the talk of the town.” His tone was bitter. “Because of that, I’m sure Mother was the brunt of a lot of jokes.”
“Tim, don’t do this, to yourself or me. It’s not healthy, for more reasons than one.”
“You know, life sucks.”
Lindsay blew out a heavy breath, realizing the tiny moment of closeness she had felt with Tim earlier had disintegrated. He was once more his brooding, untouchable self, while she was becoming anxious, a feeling that frightened her. She didn’t want to talk about Cooper’s penchant for women or dissect his role in her mother’s death. It wasn’t healthy.
“I’d rather not talk about this any more,” she said stiffly, voicing her thoughts.
His face darkened. “Ditto.”
Lindsay stopped the swing. “I guess I’d best get back and check on Daddy.”
“Ah, he’s all right. If not, we’d have heard.”
Lindsay didn’t argue. However, she got out of the swing, walked back to the railing and stared into the distance. What a lovely and tranquil place, she thought, aching for some of that tranquility to filter into her soul.
“Why do you stay?”
Lindsay gave her brother a taxing look, trying to curb her temper. Another unsettling question out of the blue. This was a side of Tim she hadn’t seen in a long time. He usually had very little to say to her. “You know why.”
“No, I don’t. He’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He’s just too selfish and ornery to do so.”
“It’s not all him.” Lindsay’s voice suddenly shook. “I’ve never wanted to be by myself.”
“I can understand that.”
A short silence followed his bleak words. Lindsay broke it by saying, “My main concern right now is convincing Daddy once and for all that I’m not going to marry Peter.”
“Well, good luck. You’ve got a daunting task ahead.”
Another silence ensued as Lindsay’s eyes returned to the colorful grounds. It was then that she saw a man sauntering across the nearby lawn as if he owned it. He was a big man, with a loose, long-limbed gait that bespoke of self-assurance, if not a bit of arrogance.
An attractive hunk, she thought wryly, unable to remember the last time she’d been affected by any man. Of course, she wasn’t affected by him, she corrected herself quickly, except in a purely objective way. After all, he was obviously an employee, and much too old for her, to boot.
Still, her gaze lingered. He had a strong, rugged profile, and dark hair that curled slightly at his nape. But it wasn’t his face that held her attention. It was from the neck down.
He was shirtless, and even from where she stood, she could see the contour of his body. And a fine body it was, too.
For a moment Lindsay forgot all about Cooper, Timothy and—especially—Peter. She was intrigued and wondered who the man was, though she had never before taken an interest in the people who maintained the huge estate.
As if he sensed he was being watched, he swung his head sideways, and their eyes met. She was trapped. Caught staring. Her face flooded with color, especially when he seemed to be surveying her with guarded eyes.
What was he thinking? More to the point, why did she care?
Suddenly, his brows arched in a deliberate and dismissive gesture, then he turned his head.
Lindsay didn’t know why, but that look irritated her no end. She had never considered herself a snob, but she felt like putting him in his place, wherever that might be.
She yanked her gaze away from him and back to her brother. “Who’s that man?”
Tim’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean Mitch Rawlins?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.”
“He’s our new estate manager.”
“Don’t you mean head gardener?” Lindsay asked in a catty tone.
Tim gave her a perplexed look, then said with a touch of mockery, “I’d say he’s a bit more than that. Why do you want to know?”
“No reason,” Lindsay snapped, even as her hungry eyes once again sought the man out.
Three
Mitchum Rawlins, known as Mitch by his friends, continued to stare at the boss’s daughter. Or rather, the lady of the manor, he corrected himself with a smirk, long after she had turned her haughty little nose up and away from him.
He wondered if she thought her snubbing him made any difference. His smirk deepened as he rubbed his stubbled chin. Having only been working on the estate as its main caretaker for a month, he’d never had the opportunity to meet Lindsay Newman firsthand. Word had it that she had gone to Europe. He guessed her old man’s accident had brought her back home.
While she was in no way hard on the eyes, she caught his attention mainly because everything about her seemed to radiate a restless energy. And usually, where there was energy, there was passion.
Although she appeared on the thin side, she was still well-proportioned. Her small, jutting breasts and narrow waistline bore that out. But it was the strawberry-blond hair swirling around her face that was the eye-catcher.
He would bet anything she had the freckles that usually went along with that coloring. He would also bet she had dark eyes. As for her age, he was less sure about that. He’d put her somewhere in her middle to late twenties.
Finally realizing what he was doing, Mitch let go of a stinging curse, then forced his mind off the spoiled brat who wouldn’t have cared if he took another breath.
The last thing he needed was to have anything to do with Dr. Newman’s daughter. More to the point, he didn’t want anything to do with anyone, especially a woman.
For the first time in years, he was sleeping like a baby. Using his hands, he did an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. Suddenly Mitch peered down at those large, tanned hands, which were both callused and strong, and thought again what a lucky son of a bitch he was.
When his wife, Wendy, left him and his other job became intolerable, he’d walked away in the opposite direction, leaving behind a world filled with responsibilities and sleepless nights.
Regrets?
None whatsoever.
Anything would beat what he’d done and where he’d been. Now he felt free in every sense of the word. He could grow anything, build anything, repair anything. God-given talents—all of them. And he was using them wisely. The only thing that bugged him was an occasional loneliness, a real need to touch and be touched by another human.
But that feeling didn’t come often or last long. Nope, he wouldn’t change the new direction his life had taken for a minute, nor was he about to let a woman anywhere near him, certainly not an obviously spoiled brat like Lindsay Newman.
Still, he found himself casting another glance in her direction. His stomach tightened. He had never even talked to her, for God’s sake. And yet the intensity of the attraction he felt for her was staggering. It was as if his eyes had caught sight of an unattainable “perfect” woman and a lust-adrenaline cocktail had hit him in the gut.
Well, he would just have to get over it. He was not about to self-destruct over another woman, no matter how hot he was for her.
He turned and stomped back inside his living quarters.
But even after he had slammed the door behind him, Mitch kept seeing the lovely lines of her face, something that made him mad enough to bite a ten-penny nail in two.
What was wrong with him? What was there about her that had brought about the impossible? Stirred him up? Maybe he had been alone too long. Maybe it was time to scratch this sudden itch before it got any farther out of control. Maybe he should call up an old girlfriend and enjoy a roll in the hay. Even if the lady of the manor wouldn’t be interested, he knew several who would.
Nah.
In the end, it wouldn’t be worth it. The price was too high. He would just take a cold shower, drink a cold beer, then crawl into a cold bed.
Alone.
“Still feeling better, Daddy?”
It was the evening after she had returned from her trip that she decided to pay Cooper an impromptu visit. She hadn’t seen him all day, as she’d been busy unpacking, reading through mail and returning phone calls.
Even though she knew he was okay, she couldn’t blot out the morbid trick her mind continued to play on her. She envisioned walking into her daddy’s suite and finding him on the floor, dead, just like she’d found her mother.
“I’m still fine,” he said in a gruff voice. “I wish you wouldn’t fuss so.”
“I wish you’d do like your cardiologist told you and take it easy,” she said. “Which didn’t include playing a round of golf.”
Cooper’s bushy white eyebrows drew together. “I see Dolly’s been running her mouth.”
“That’s right.”
“Well, I didn’t play,” he announced in a petulant tone. “I just rode around with a friend, and I’m none the worse for it. And as you can see, I’m already in bed, though I don’t like it, mind you.”
Probably because he was without a woman beside him, Lindsay thought, recalling her conversation with her brother. Like Tim, would she ever accept the unvarnished truth that her daddy was a ladies’ man, that he had most likely been unfaithful to her mother? She doubted it. After all these years, that fact still rankled. Yet he’d never married again, which had always puzzled her. But then, she had never pretended to understand her daddy, and knew that she never would.
“You look nice, my dear,” Cooper said, bridging the short silence.
“Thanks,” Lindsay murmured, looking not at him but out the French doors.
“Are you about to have dinner?”
“Shortly.”
“With Peter?”
Lindsay smothered a sigh. “No. I’m dining alone, actually.”
“You shouldn’t be,” he snapped. “I’m sure Peter would be more than happy to join you.”
Lindsay wanted to lash out and say that Peter was his pet, not hers. But she didn’t. Instead, she told him, “I didn’t feel like company. I’m still suffering the effects of jet lag.”
“I meant what I said last night, Lindsay.”
So much for her good intentions. However, she hadn’t been called her father’s daughter for nothing. She could be—and often was—as stubborn as he was.
“Daddy, I—”
He held up a hand, halting her flow of words. “I know what you’re about to say.”
“Then let me say it.”
Cooper’s lips tightened. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“I know, but—”
He interrupted again. “It’s past time you were married.”
“That way of thinking is archaic, Daddy. I’m only twenty-six years old, for heaven’s sake.”
“That’s beside the point, and not even the most important issue. No young woman of your prestige and status should be without a husband.” He paused, as if to let his words sink in. “I’ve already pointed that out countless times. How long is it going to take before it soaks in?”
Lindsay flushed and bit down on her lower lip.
“It’s just not proper. Your mother would have agreed with me one hundred percent.”
Lindsay bristled but continued to hold her tongue, again wise enough to know that now was not the time for a final showdown, not when he was recuperating from a nasty accident. Yet his old-fashioned attitude sent her irritation factor soaring off the charts.
“We’ll talk later, Daddy.” She made her way toward the door.
“Good night, my dear.”
She swung back around and smiled, though not with her eyes. “Good night.”
Thirty minutes later, Lindsay was sitting in the parlor, sipping on flavored coffee from the silver pot that Dolly had left on one corner of the table. She had just finished a delicious meal in the small, less formal dining room and was feeling her eyes grow heavier by the minute. Moments after they closed, she heard the doorbell chime.
Groaning inwardly, her lashes fluttered open and she saw Peter standing in the doorway. Oh, brother, she thought, her heart plummeting.
“I hope I’m not intruding.”
“Hello, Peter,” she said, not bothering to hide her aggravation.
If he picked up on it, he didn’t show it. He crossed to the couch and sat down on the opposite end. “Dolly let me in,” he said inanely. “She thought you might enjoy some company, said you seemed lonely.”
Boy, was Dolly in big trouble. “I’m not lonely. I’m exhausted.”
“In that case, I won’t stay long.”
A silence fell between them.
Peter didn’t have to say anything for her to know that he was mentally shifting gears, getting ready for what he hoped was the big and final pitch.
“Lindsay, you already know how I feel about you.”
She deliberately set her cup down on the tray and looked at him. “I know that you don’t love me.”
He was obviously stunned by her bluntness and seemed to scramble for a suitable reply. “You don’t know any such thing.”
“Look, Peter, this is not a good time—not when I’ve just arrived back home and not so soon after Daddy’s accident.” God, did she sound like a broken record or what?
He let out a deep sigh. “All right, Lindsay. But you should know, I’m not going to go away.”
She hadn’t thought he would, not because he loved her, but because Cooper wanted him in the picture. And for whatever reason, Peter seemed content to be led by the nose.
Unwittingly, the thought crossed her mind that the “gardener” she had seen earlier could never be coerced into doing anything he didn’t want to do. The set of his jaw and his air of self-confidence had said as much. But then, like her brother, Peter was weak in many ways. If she were to marry him, they would live in the big house, in her suite, which was something her daddy also wanted.
Would there ever come a time when pleasing Cooper wasn’t important to her? Or would the legacy of her mother’s suicide always force her to feel overly dependent on the one parent she had left, even when he didn’t always deserve the level of her devotion?
“I don’t know about you,” Lindsay said suddenly, “but I need some fresh air.”
Before Peter could respond, she was up, had the French doors open and was out on the cozy side veranda. Peter followed suit with their cups. It was when she reached for hers that her hand froze.
Him. Again.
“Lindsay, what’s wrong?” Peter demanded.
“Er…nothing.” She forced a smile, and with fingers that weren’t quite steady, she took the cup.
However, her eyes never strayed off Mitch Rawlins, who was standing on the front porch of his cottage, leaning against a post. Even though he was too far away for her to see his eyes, she sensed he was also staring at her.
Lindsay’s heart raced, and her palms turned sweaty. Before she could begin to sort through this explosive and unexpected reaction, Mitch pushed his big body away from the post. Yet his gaze seemed to be stuck on her.
She stiffened as a myriad of emotions charged through her. This was the second time she’d seen this man. Both times she’d responded in an animalistic way. Her face flamed. It was purely physical, she told herself, which in itself was crazy.
The feeling would go away, she assured herself, forcing down the desperation closing in on her.
Yet there was something about him, something about his razor-stubbled face and big body, that messed with her hormones. Suddenly she felt torn between her body’s betrayal and her mind’s determination to keep her distance.
“Damn,” she muttered.
Peter gave her a strange look. “Did you say something?”
“Don’t pay any attention to me,” she said lamely. “I was just thinking out loud.”
“Care to share?”
“No,” she said bluntly.
She heard his sharp intake of breath and knew that she’d angered him. But when he spoke, his tone was conciliatory.
“Well, it was a good idea to come outside. The evening’s lovely.”
Lindsay didn’t bother to respond. She was too busy watching Mitch turn and saunter back into his house. Only after he disappeared did she release her breath.
Four
“Good morning.”
When she heard Mary Jane Morgan’s voice on the phone, Lindsay’s face brightened. M.J., as she was affectionately called, had been her friend since grade school. A divorcée with no children, she worked as a paralegal for a prestigious law firm.
“Hey, I was thinking about you,” Lindsay said, reaching for her coffee cup and taking a healthy sip, hoping the caffeine would nudge her into action. She hadn’t slept well; as a result, she felt a tad hungover.
“But not enough to call me, you wretch.”
Lindsay laughed. “Hey, give me a break. I just got home.”
“Excuses, excuses.”
“So when are we going to get together?” Lindsay asked, already feeling much better. M.J. was like a strong tonic. Her jaded sense of humor could cure almost any ills, especially hers.
During the months and years following Lindsay’s mother’s suicide, she didn’t know what she would have done without M.J., who had stuck by her side through the worst of times.
Even though her own life hadn’t been littered with roses, Mary Jane never complained. She’d gotten divorced shortly after she married, having learned her husband was gay. That blow had been so severe, it had taken her a long time to get over it. Now, however, she was on the prowl again, a fact she would readily admit. Her honesty about it tickled Lindsay.
“So how’s the lord of the manor?”
Only M.J. could refer to Cooper in such a manner and get by with it. But she did it in such an unmalicious way that Lindsay never took umbrage.
“He’s still lording over everyone.”
M.J. giggled. “Figures. All joking aside, how’s he doing?”
“He’s good, which is actually a miracle, considering what he’s been through.”
“Then you really didn’t have to cut your trip short—but I’m glad you did. I hate it when you’re gone. I don’t have anyone to whine to.”
“Well, it’s good to know I’ve been missed—for whatever reason,” Lindsay said drolly.
“So what’s up now that you are back? Same old one and two?”
“I hope not.”
“Don’t knock it, my friend. I could handle being spoiled and rich and a lady of leisure.”
“So that’s what you really think of me,” Lindsay said with forced lightness, trying not to take what her friend said as anything other than a joke. “Some friend you are.”
“I’m just green with envy, that’s all. But hey, I was only teasing. You know that. You do more for others than anyone I know—or will ever know, for that matter.”
“I’d do more if only Daddy was more understanding,” Lindsay said. He’s after me big time to marry Peter.”
M.J. groaned. “I thought you had that all settled before you went to Europe.”
“I thought so, too, but I guess I was mistaken.”
“I hope you’re not weakening. Peter’s a jerk.”
Lindsay sighed. “I agree one hundred percent. However, Daddy thinks he’s the man for me.”
“Screw whether you love him or not, right?”
“Right.”
“If it’s grandkids he wants, why doesn’t he go knock on Tim’s door?”
“Because Tim would tell him to butt out in a heartbeat.”
“So why don’t you do the same thing?” M.J. hesitated. “Don’t you think it’s past time? You’re strong now, Lindsay. You’ve come a long way, and you don’t need Cooper like you once did.”
“I know, M.J. It’s just that old habits die hard.”
“What you ought to do is move out of that house, get an apartment.”
Lindsay was silent for a long moment, choosing her words carefully—not that it would do any good. Mary Jane could read her like a book without a cover. “You’re right, only I don’t have the guts. I’ll admit it.”
“At least you’re honest.”
“But I do have something in mind.”
“Oh?” Mary Jane’s voice perked up considerably.
“Don’t ‘oh’ me. I’m really serious.”
“Are we talking about a plan, or what?”
“I guess you could call it a plan. Yeah, that’ll work.”
Lindsay could picture Mary Jane’s petite features scrunched in a frown while the wheels were turning inside her head.
“So?”
“So I’ll tell you about it another day, over lunch.”
“That’s a dirty trick to play on me.”
“Well, it’ll get you out of that office for a little while, anyway.”
“I’m out today.”
“Only because it’s Saturday,” Lindsay pointed out. “And the day’s not over yet.”
“Boy, have you got my number.”
“Just like you’ve got mine.”
M.J. laughed. “So are you going to the shelter?”
“Maybe this afternoon.”
“Any news from there?”
“No,” Lindsay said. “But then, I haven’t called Rita.”
Rita Thomas, director of the women’s shelter, was another person Lindsay adored and could identify with, the main reason being that they had both suffered great heartaches in their lives.
Even though Lindsay hadn’t been associated with the shelter all that long, her newest charity project had quickly turned into one she was quite passionate about.
“Call me when you’re ready to share the big secret.”
“Actually, my news involves the shelter.”
“That’s great, especially if it keeps you out of the shrink’s office.”
“So far, so good,” Lindsay said.
“Well, I’ve certainly seen a difference in you since you took the shelter under your wing.”
“We’ll see if it pans out.”
“My, but you sound mysterious.”
“Well, you’ll just have to put your curiosity in cold storage for a while longer.”
“Whatever. Meanwhile, get rid of that prick Peter.”
Lindsay’s lips twitched. “Yes, ma’am. Talk to you later.”
The instant she placed the receiver back in its cradle, her smile fled. She wished Mary Jane hadn’t mentioned Peter again. The thought of him could ruin her day.
She got up and stretched. When Mary Jane called, she had just finished dressing in leggings, a long shirt and her running shoes. Now she was ready to hit the outdoors. Losing sleep had definitely put a damper on her body and her spirits. However, a trek outdoors would remedy that. It would also serve as a morale booster for when she approached Cooper later with her idea—something she didn’t have to put off, since he was definitely on the mend.
Still, it wasn’t a discussion she was looking forward to.
A few minutes later, Lindsay strolled through the kitchen. “Morning, Dolly.”
“Mornin’, child. Want some breakfast?”
Lindsay kissed her on the cheek. “Not until after I exercise.”
Dolly snorted, her black eyes looking Lindsay up and down. “That’s the last thing you should be doing. You need some meat on those scrawny bones.”
“Don’t start. Exercise keeps me sane.”
Dolly merely sniffed this time, but kept her silence.
“So where’s Daddy? Has he been down?”
“Hours ago, or so it seems. He’s having coffee with some of his men friends.”
“That’s a good sign.”