Without You

Murder.

Such an ugly word. It made him shudder to his core. The very idea that he could be accused of such an act was incomprehensible. So too was the image of Roberta’s lifeless body. She had been his lifelong friend, for heaven’s sake.

He rubbed the back of his head and muttered an expletive. Brooding over his present predicament wasn’t doing him any good. By seeking Hallie’s counsel, he’d taken the necessary steps to head off this impending disaster. The best thing he could do now was to visit with Terrance, then mingle with the customers.

But he still didn’t feel like facing anyone. That feel-nothing, touch-nothing mood had invaded his system again.

The phone suddenly rang, jarring him. He grabbed it and said, “Cole.”

“Ah, I’m glad I caught you.”

At the sound of the low, familiar voice, red hot fury boiled inside him. “I told you to stop calling me, you bastard.”

“Now, now, is that any way to talk to someone who has your best interest at heart?”

“Heart?” Jackson gave a harsh laugh. “You wouldn’t know about that, since you don’t have one.”

“If you persist in refusing to sell,” the caller continued, “we’ll find a way to take over, to force you out.”

“Then, I suggest you give it your best shot.” Jackson slammed down the receiver. But so much for his bravado. He felt gutted on the inside, a feeling he despised as much as he despised them and their bullying tactics.

Damn them, the organized crime faction that was determined to bring him down.

Lately the pressure had increased relentlessly. They seemed more hell-bent each day on buying him out, chipping away at his resolve.

Why him? Why his place? Why not one of the countless other clubs on the drag? He’d wrestled with those questions until he’d come up with several reasonable answers. Elan was slightly off to itself, making it more secluded, yet still accessible. In addition, the building property had more square footage and more land.

No matter. He’d dug his heels in and had no intention of budging.

He wondered suddenly if his implication in Roberta’s murder wasn’t Mafia related. They had the resources and connections to frame him. Having reached that conclusion, shouldn’t he tell Hallie?

Not yet. He had no intention of involving her in a dangerous game with the mob. Besides, she had enough to do looking after his legal worries. Too, handling this crisis was a responsibility he wasn’t about to put off on anyone else. He would take care of things himself. He always had.

None of the success he had obtained had come easy. Life had dealt him some cruel blows, beginning with the death of his mother in an auto accident when he was eleven years old.

Left with his father, an alcoholic who owned two bars, Jackson had very little home life and virtually no parental love or supervision. He spent most of his out-of-school time hanging around bars, until he met Roberta’s mother, Ruby.

In the evenings, she often frequented one of his father’s clubs, yet Ruby had used restraint in her drinking. Jackson had met her one evening when she had approached him to play a game of pool.

From then on, she had taken pity on him, and often invited him to her house to share pot roast dinners with her family. Ruby had a son, Edgar, who was never there, and Roberta, who was several years Jackson’s senior. He, Ruby and Roberta, three misfits, had become firm friends. He would never forget the fond times he’d spent at their home, even though the environment was certainly no June Cleaver haven.

At the time, however, he was grateful for any crumb of womanly compassion he could get. Ruby and Roberta had helped buffer his acute loneliness and build his self-esteem.

Once he graduated from college with a degree in business, he was determined to make something of himself away from the nightlife. But when his dad died unexpectedly, he found himself saddled with the responsibility of the bars. After selling one, he had borrowed more money and turned the other into Elan on Beale Street.

He had been successful beyond his wildest expectations. Yet there was something missing from his life—a sense of real belonging, a sense of roots. At one time, he thought he had found the answer to those needs in Hallie, only to lose her by betraying her trust.

Granted, he had been less than honest with her about his relationship with Roberta. After the fact, he rationalized that he and Hallie would not have made it anyway. Her career was going full steam ahead while his was winding down. And she hadn’t been particularly eager to have children, while he was.

Nonetheless, he had never stopped loving her or wanting her. He carried with him every sound, smell and taste of her. Though he hated that weakness, he was powerless to shake it.

“So why ask Hallie for help?” He realized he’d spoken aloud when his voice penetrated the silence in the room.

It was an insane move; he was far too vulnerable where she was concerned. Just seeing her had made him throb with that old intense longing. But a desperate man did desperate things.

And like he’d told her, he trusted her. Even if he hadn’t known her personally, hadn’t had a hot, intimate relationship with her, he would have sought her out. Her reputation as a tough officer of the court was widespread. She was both respected and admired. When it came to her clients, she was feisty and fearless in defending them.

He had met her by accident, or maybe it had been fate. They had both been at a party for the rich and famous at a rival nightclub. He hadn’t wanted to go, but Terrance had insisted, reminding Jackson he needed to get out of his cocoon and see what the competition was up to.

He had agreed, though with no real enthusiasm.

He hadn’t been interested in a permanent relationship with a woman. Nonetheless, he suspected that was what Terrance’s urging was all about. For sure, Jackson had had plenty of women. A man didn’t reach forty without having had his share of affairs.

But that was exactly what they had been—affairs. None of the women he’d been involved with had been what he considered “wife material,” though he wasn’t sure he knew what that meant. He’d been too busy with the club to think in those terms. Besides, tying the knot had scared the hell out of him. He’d been alone too long to take a waltz down the aisle.

The second he had walked into the club, where a band was playing a waltz, he’d felt out of place. Terrance had left him on his own almost immediately, having spotted a woman whom he’d dated. Jackson was about to turn and walk out the same door he’d come in, when he saw her. He’d stopped dead in his tracks.

He thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was tall and thin with spectacular chocolate-colored hair, a lovely face and shapely legs—a Southern beauty in all her glory.

When she smiled, the effect was electric. He had fallen madly in love on the spot.

If she’d been with a man, perhaps he wouldn’t have had the courage to approach her. She appeared to be alone. As though his legs had a will all their own, he moved toward her. Something made her turn and face him directly. He paused for a second and their eyes met. An electric current seemed to instantly connect them. It hadn’t been his imagination, either. That radiant smile on her face had slipped a bit while something unidentifiable jumped into her eyes.

Finally, he reached her and, without mincing words, said, “Would you like to dance?”

“I don’t make a habit of dancing with strangers.”

Her voice was as sexy as her body—husky and warm. He felt himself turn hard and prayed she wouldn’t notice.

“I can take care of that. I’m Jackson Cole.” He held out his hand. At first she appeared reluctant to touch him but then she did. When he grasped her thin hand, that current shot all the way up his arm. He knew she experienced the same sensation—she withdrew her hand immediately, her eyes wide.

“And you are?” he asked into the blistering silence.

“Hallie Hunter.”

He smiled. “Since we’re no longer strangers, shall we dance?”

“Suppose I don’t want to dance with you?”

He peered deeply into her eyes as he lowered his voice. “Only you do, don’t you.”

“You’re awfully sure of yourself, Mr. Cole.”

“Jackson,” he corrected.

Before she could answer him, he reached out and pulled her gently into his arms, then onto the dance floor.

Heady stuff.

The feel and smell of her body against him penetrated his skin and went straight to his heart. She was utterly captivating, and he prayed the song would never end, so he wouldn’t have to let her go. Yet when it ended, she made no effort to leave his arms.

“I like your style, Mr. Cole,” she said with a confident smile, displaying her delightful dimple.

“Jackson,” he reminded her.

She laughed. “All right, Jackson.”

“So when can I see you again?”

She gave him a sassy look. “How do you know I’m free?”

“Are you?”

“Yes.” That tiny word came out a whisper.

“So am I, which means we have a green light.”

“For what?”

“To make love,” he whispered. “Tonight.”

She gasped. Then he did something he’d never done spontaneously before. He drew her even closer and lowered his lips to hers with explosive force.

From then on, they were inseparable, and within weeks they were officially engaged. And all was well in paradise, until Roberta reentered his life and ripped the bloom off the rose.

Now, disgusted with the direction his thoughts had taken, Jackson shook himself and walked back to the bar, then poured himself another drink. But he knew that drinking wasn’t the answer.

Regardless of how much booze he put in his body, it couldn’t override his thoughts of Hallie. She had set up housekeeping in his head and heart forever. He still loved her; her absence in his life hadn’t changed that.

But he couldn’t think about Hallie in those terms. She had moved on and up and was totally lost to him. In order not to lose himself, he had to concentrate on getting out of this latest trouble. With the mob breathing hot and heavy down his neck, there was no way he could afford to be charged with murder, arrested, and detained indefinitely. Suddenly he felt as though he had a ticking time bomb strapped to his body.

He must remain completely focused, no matter how much he would like to concentrate on Hallie and what might have been.

Five

Hallie loved her home.

The only problem was, she didn’t get to spend nearly as much time there as she would have liked. But it was by choice that she put in such long hours at the office. Without a husband or children to come home to, advancing in her career had been her goal. Now it appeared it was her life.

If she thought about that fact too much, it would depress her, so she made a conscious effort not to. Sighing, she plopped her briefcase in the nearest chair in the living room, then paused and surveyed her surroundings, which never failed to lift her spirits.

Brightened by the recessed ceiling lights, the spacious living area was an eclectic mixture of vivid colors and textures. A hodgepodge of family photos, books, antique cups and saucers occupied the shelves in the custom-made entertainment center.

In place of drapes, she had chosen white wooden shutters. During the day she opened them, letting the sunshine filtrate the room, giving it warmth and light. After sundown, the glow of the fireplace and burning candles replaced the sunlight.

After turning on the gas logs and lighting a couple of candles, Hallie walked to the windows. The gas lanterns were on, allowing her full view of the patio. First to greet her eyes were the mums she’d planted. She called them her pots of gold.

When she had any spare time, which wasn’t often, she loved to dig in the dirt, then watch her handiwork grow. That was often her panacea after a long, tension-filled day at the firm.

A year ago she had decided to bite the bullet and purchase this garden home with a fenced-in yard and patio. Until then, she had lived in a condo, where she had felt cramped and claustrophobic. She hadn’t been sorry a day since she’d made the change, though she didn’t spend as much time here as she had planned. She hoped that would soon change, especially after she made partner. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so pressured.

Hallie suddenly laughed without humor. Who was she kidding? She’d probably feel more pressured than ever. But then, that was her personality and she made no apologies for it. She lived in a high-maintenance mode and was structured to a fault. Behind her back, her co-workers referred to her as uptight, which didn’t bother her at all. She did her job well and with confidence. No apologies were in order.

Closing the shutters, Hallie made her way into her bedroom and immediately began to discard her clothing, shoes first. She felt exhausted from her bout with the Dryers and raw from her encounter with Jackson. She didn’t like surprises, and she had received two of them today.

While the Dryers were a pain in the rear, she could handle the divorcing couple. But Jackson was a different matter.

Why now? she asked herself, heading to the bathroom where she immediately stepped into the shower. Turning on the hot water, she anticipated that the feel of it against her skin would relax her. Instead, the water cascading down her body brought unwanted images to mind, images of her and Jackson in the shower, ending with him lifting her wet, slippery body up around his waist, then penetrating her high and hard.

Feeling herself grow wet, and not from the water, Hallie shut off the faucet, climbed out and dried herself with haste. Even after donning her robe and making herself a cup of tea, her emotions were still on high alert.

She took several deep breaths and eased onto the chaise lounge in her sitting area. Pale green and cream were the primary colors in the room. A faux technique similar to marbleizing had been used to paint the walls. A four-poster bed with a step stool added a touch of class. Pillows and potted plants provided the finishing touches. Like her living area, her bedroom was supposed to calm her, to give her a feeling of coziness, to shield her from the world.

It had. Until now.

The phone rang and she flinched. Her first thought was to not answer it, but it might be her sister, Darcy. She hadn’t heard from her in several days, which was not a good sign.

Knowing that her voice mail would soon pick up, Hallie reached for the receiver and lifted it.

“Hallie.”

She hadn’t even said hello before he said her name. Her pulse rate automatically accelerated as she clutched the receiver tighter.

“Why are you calling me at home, Jackson?”

“I take it that’s a no-no.”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

He hesitated several beats, then said, “Okay, I’m sorry. But I couldn’t remember if I thanked you for taking my case.”

“I haven’t taken your case, exactly, but yes, you thanked me.”

Silence.

“It was good to see you, Hallie, after all this time.” His voice had grown low and husky.

She crossed her legs and tried to control her labored breathing. Would she ever get over the hots for this man? Even through the phone lines, the heat fizzed. She suspected he felt it, too. Yet she was loath to end the conversation.

“It was good to see you, too.” And it was, though she was loath to admit that, too.

“I know I shouldn’t say this—”

“You probably shouldn’t,” she responded in a weak voice.

“If you don’t want to hear it, then you’ll have to hang up.”

She stayed on the line.

“I’ve missed you like hell.”

She had missed him, too, but that was hard to admit. She didn’t want a relationship with Jackson, personally or professionally. It was simply too dangerous to her newfound peace of mind. Actually, it would be tantamount to personal and professional suicide.

The afternoon’s civility had remained in place, but underneath was the awareness of what it was like to jump each other’s bones in a rash and heated moment. She couldn’t work under those conditions.

“Jackson, please, don’t go there. It will force me to turn you over to Nathan now or send you to another firm.” In spite of her efforts, her voice shook.

“I know.” He spoke in that same sexy and husky tone. “But I had to say it.”

“You’ve said it, so let’s move on.”

“I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night,” she said with as much coolness as she could muster.

After she hung up the phone, Hallie’s entire body trembled with a hunger that stunned her. She hadn’t been with a man since she and Jackson had split up. For the longest time, she had missed not only the great sex between them but the companionship. When their engagement ended, it was like one of her limbs had been severed.

But time and work had smothered those longings and she’d manage to regroup and go on.

If it hadn’t been for Roberta Klein’s death, her state of mind and body would still be intact. Thoughts of the deceased woman raised her pulse rate again, but for a different reason.

While she hadn’t wished Jackson’s old friend any ill will, Roberta had been one of the reasons why Hallie hadn’t married Jackson. It was only after they had become engaged that she realized how close Roberta and Jackson were. Roberta popped in and out of his life whenever she felt like it, and he seemed to find nothing amiss.

He’d even admitted to having slept with Roberta, but only once. After that admission, Hallie had told him the situation with Roberta was something she’d rather not have to deal with. Jackson had assured her he would handle it.

Weeks later, she had received a surprise visit from Roberta herself. More curious than anything, Hallie had invited her in, preparing herself to be as cordial as possible.

But cordiality had been the furthest thing from Roberta’s mind. She hadn’t minced any words. “Jackson might marry you, Hallie, but it’ll always be me he loves.”

Hallie had been so taken aback by Roberta’s boldness and the venom in her tone, she’d been speechless, which had given Roberta the opportunity to add insult to injury.

“I guess if you’re prepared to share him, then by all means go ahead and marry him.”

Some time during Roberta’s tirade, Hallie had managed to regain her composure and her voice. “No way am I willing to share Jackson. But then, I don’t have to. He told me you’re no longer part of his life.”

Roberta gave a toss of her long red curls and spread her glossed lips into a confident smirk. “Then, he lied to you, my dear. I just saw him two days ago. We had lunch. Jackson will never forsake me for you or any other woman.”

With that bombshell, Roberta had swept regally to the door and walked out without looking back.

Feeling blindsided and enraged, Hallie had lost no time in confronting Jackson.

“Aw, baby,” he’d said, “she’s just spouting off. Don’t pay any attention to her.”

“Did you take her to lunch?”

“No.”

“But you did see her, didn’t you?”

“She’s a friend, Hallie, and that’s all.”

“That’s not what she says.”

“Whatever she told you is just wishful thinking on her part.”

“She said you loved her and always would.”

He swore. “Surely you don’t believe that.”

“After her vicious attack, I don’t know what to believe.”

His features softened, and his voice turned cajoling. “How can you say that? I love you more than anything else in this world. What we have is rare and special and has been from the beginning.”

“You never answered my question, Jackson.”

“What was it?” he said with less patience in his voice.

“Have you been seeing her?”

“Okay, she was strung-out on prescription drugs, and I helped bail her out of trouble.”

“Just once?”

“No. Twice.”

Hallie swept a hand through her hair, then peered at him, knowing he would see the agony in her eyes. “You have no intention of putting her out of your life, do you.”

“If you mean, am I going to just dump her forever, the answer is no.”

Her face turned hot. “Dumping was hardly what I had in mind.”

“Oh, I think it was.”

Hallie jutted her chin. “Look, maybe we need a cooling-off period. Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a while.”

“As in, not get married?” Jackson’s voice was filled with horror.

“Not anytime soon.”

“That’s crazy.” His tone revealed his shock. “You can’t mean that.”

“Oh, I mean it, all right. You’ve betrayed my trust, Jackson. In my view, that’s unforgivable.”

And she had meant every word. In light of her up-bringing, trust was a huge factor with her. When someone broke or violated a trust, for whatever reason, she hadn’t much use for them.

And that included Jackson.

“I won’t let you do this, Hallie.”

“It’s too late.” Before she realized what she was doing, she had pulled off her ring and handed it to him.

His face ashen and his lips stretched thin, he had walked out of her life.

That had been two years ago. But since seeing him today, those years seemed to have melted away.

Which scared her senseless.

She wanted no distractions. She only wanted to perfect and implement a new approach to divorce known as collaborative family law. The process, aimed at making divorce less acrimonious and more cooperative among the parties, was her claim to fame and her assurance of a partnership. Nothing must interfere.

Like Jackson’s, her rise to professional success had not been easy. The oldest of eight siblings, she was always responsible for someone other than herself. Her father had deserted her mother when her youngest sister, Darcy, was born. From then on, Hallie’s mother drilled into her that she should never trust a man for her livelihood or anything—that she could only count on herself.

Hallie’s only break from her dreary home life had been school, where she excelled in every subject with the help of her aunt, a successful attorney. Sharon Hunter was a strong woman who saw potential in Hallie and often brought her to her office.

There Hallie had learned about law and had become determined to become a lawyer when she grew up. Through scholarships and the help of her aunt Sharon, she had attended college and graduated magna cum laude with a degree in political science.

Her mother and her beloved aunt were now deceased, which technically placed her at the head of the family. Her siblings, with the exception of Darcy, were scattered over the United States and she rarely had contact with them.

Hallie’s drive to succeed was all the more reason to stay focused and maintain a safe distance from Jackson. While she was perfectly capable of handling criminal matters, having been successful in the many court appointments received through the firm, she specialized now in divorce law. The logical, smart thing to do would be to just turn Jackson over to Nathan James and not look back.

This time her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing doorbell. She panicked, thinking Jackson might have decided to pay her a visit. No, she thought, even he wouldn’t be that brazen. Getting up, she trudged to the door and peered through her peephole.

Opening it, she exclaimed, “Darcy. What on earth…?”

Six

Darcy Cox didn’t bother to answer Hallie. Instead she brushed past her, then collapsed onto the sofa in dramatic fashion, muttering obscenities under her breath. Hallie smothered a sigh and tried to control her mounting temper and burgeoning frustration.

She couldn’t count the times Darcy had arrived unexpectedly, behaving in this manner. Each time it happened, Hallie swore she’d use tough love and send her sister on her way to fend for herself. To date, she hadn’t lived up to that unspoken promise.

What a waste. It was the first thought that jumped to Hallie’s mind as she looked at Darcy, head back and eyes closed. Even though she was only twenty-five, Darcy was a mess emotionally and physically.