Where Rainbows End

Sadly it looks like you don’t need me any more. I feel like those other people that used to try to become our friends. I know you’re probably not doing it deliberately just as we never did. Anyway, I’m not moaning on about how much I hate her, I’m just trying to tell you that I miss you. And that, well … I’m lonely.

Whenever you cancel nights out I end up staying home with Mum and Dad watching TV. Stephanie’s always out and even Kevin has more of a life than I do. It’s so depressing. This was supposed to be our summer of fun. What happened? Can’t you be friends with two people at once?

I know you have found someone who is extra special, and that you both have a unique ‘bond’, or whatever, that you and I will never have. But we have another bond: we’re best friends. Or does the best friend bond disappear as soon as you meet somebody else? Maybe it does, and I just don’t understand that because I haven’t met that ‘somebody special’. I’m not in any hurry to either. I liked things the way they were.

In a few years’ time if my name ever comes up you will probably say, ‘Rosie. Now there’s a name I haven’t heard for ages. We used to be best friends. I wonder what she’s doing now; I haven’t seen or thought of her in years!’ You will sound like my mum and dad when they have dinner parties with friends and talk about old times. They mention people I’ve never even heard of when they’re talking about some of the most important days of their lives. How could Mum’s bridesmaid of twenty years ago be someone she doesn’t even ring up now? Or in Dad’s case, how could he not know where his own best friend from school lives?

Anyway, my point is (I know, I know, there is one), I don’t want to be one of those easily forgotten people, so important at the time, so special, so influential and so treasured, yet years later just a vague face and a distant memory. I want us to be best friends for ever, Alex.

I’m happy you’re happy, really I am, but I feel like I’ve been left behind. Maybe our time has come and gone. Maybe your time is now meant to be spent with Bethany. And if that’s the case I won’t bother sending you this letter. And if I’m not sending this letter then what am I doing still writing it? OK, I’m going now and I’m ripping these muddled thoughts up.

Your friend,

Rosie

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Buttercup!!

Hey, Buttercup, you OK? (Haven’t called you that for a long time!) I haven’t heard or seen you in a while. I’m sending you this email because every time I call by your house, you’re either in the bath or not there. Should I begin to take this personally? But knowing you, if you had a problem with me you wouldn’t be too shy to let me know all about it!

Anyway, once the summer is over we’ll see each other every day. We’ll be sick of the sight of each other then! I can’t believe this is our last year in school. It’s crazy! This time next year I’ll be studying medicine and you will be hotel manager woman extraordinaire! Things at work have been frantic. Dad kind of gave me a promotion so I’ve more to do than just filing and labelling. (I answer phones now too.) But I need the money and at least I get to see Bethany everyday. How’s your job as chief dishwasher at The Dragon? I’m amazed you turned down baby-sitting for that. You could have stayed in all night and watched TV instead of turning your hands to prunes while you scrape egg noodles from woks. Anyway, email me or call me back or something.

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Moonbeam!

It’s not because I hate Bethany that I’m not seeing much of you (although I do hate her) it’s just that I think Bethany dislikes me just a little. It could have something to do with the fact that a friend of hers told her what I wrote about her in that (not so) private instant messaging thingy in computer class last year. But I suppose you already know that. I don’t think she liked being called a slut, I don’t know why … some women are just funny like that. (Speaking of computer class, you know Mr. Simpson got married this summer? I’m gutted. I’ll never look at Excel in the same way again.)

Anyway it’s your birthday soon! You will have finally reached the grand old age of eighteen! Want to go out and do some legal celebrating (well, legal for you, anyway)? Let me know.

PS. Please STOP calling me Buttercup!

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject 18th Birthday

Good to hear you’re alive after all. I was beginning to worry! I would love to celebrate my 18th with you but Bethany’s parents are taking me and my parents out for dinner to the Hazel. (How posh is that?) It’s so we can all get to know each other. Sorry, another night definitely.

Dearest Alex,

Well whoopdeedoo for you.

Fuck Bethany.

Fuck her parents.

Fuck the Hazel.

And fuck you.

Love your best friend Rosie

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Happy Birthday!

OK then. Well, enjoy the meal. Happy birthday!

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject DISASTER!

I can’t believe this is happening! I was just talking to your mum; called over for a chat and she told me the bad news. This is the worst news ever! Please call me when you can. Your boss keeps telling me you can’t take calls during working hours – QUIT, Mr. I never EVER want to work in an office.

This is so terrible. I feel awful!

Chapter 4

Dear Mr. Stewart,

We are delighted to inform you that you have been accepted to fill the position of Vice President of Charles and Charles Co. We are thrilled that you will be joining the team over here and we look forward to welcoming you and your family to Boston.

I hope the relocation package we are offering is to your satisfaction. If there is anything further that Charles and Charles Co. can do for you, please do not hesitate to ask. Maria Agnesi, personnel executive, will call you to discuss a suitable date for you to begin work.

We look forward to seeing you at the office.

Welcome to the team!

Yours sincerely,

Robert Brasco

President, Charles and Charles Co.

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Re: DISASTER!

I’ll call you when I get home. It’s true. Dad was offered a job doing something that sounds incredibly boring … I don’t really know, I wasn’t listening when he told me exactly what. I can’t understand why he has to go all the way over to Boston to do a boring job. There’s plenty of them right here. He can have mine.

I’m so pissed off. I don’t want to go. I only have a year left in school. This is such the wrong time to leave. I don’t want to go to a stupid American high school. I don’t want to leave you.

We can talk about it later. We have to think of a way that I can stay. This is really bad, Rosie.

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Stay with me!

Don’t go! Mum and Dad said that you could stay here for the year! Finish school in Dublin and then we can both decide what to do after that! Please stay! It will be so brilliant, us living together. It’ll be just like when we were young and we used to keep each other up all night with those walkie-talkies! We used to hear more static than our voices but we thought we were so cool! Remember that time on Christmas Eve absolutely years ago when we had a ‘Santa’ watch? We planned it for weeks, drawing little diagrams of the road and maps of our houses just so we could cover every angle and not miss him. You were on the 7–10 p.m. watch and I was on the 10 p. m.–1 a.m. watch. You were supposed to wake up and take over from me, but – surprise, surprise – you didn’t. I stayed awake all night, screaming down into that walkie-talkie, trying to wake you up! Ah well, it was your loss. I saw Santa and you didn’t …

If you stay with us, Alex, we’ll be able to talk all night! It would be so much fun. When we were kids we always wanted to live together. Now’s our chance.

Talk to your mum and dad about it. Convince them to say yes. Anyway, you’re eighteen so you can do what you like!

Rosie,

I didn’t want to wake you so your mum said she would pass this on to you. You no I hate goodbyes, but anyway, it’s not goodbye because you’re going to come over and visit all the time. Promise me. Mum and Dad wouldn’t even let me stay with Phil, never mind you. I couldn’t convince them. They want to keep their eye on me for my final year of school.

I have to go … I’ll miss you. Ring you when I get there.

Love,

Alex

PS. I told you, I was awake that Christmas Eve. My battery just went dead on my walkietalkie … (and I did see Santa, I’ll have you no).

Alex,

Good luck, little brother. Don’t worry, you’ll enjoy yourself once you get there and I can’t wait to come and visit. Despite having Margaret and the kids, I still feel like moving over with the lot of you. I’ll miss you all. It won’t be the same without you. Stop worrying about Rosie. Her life’s not going to fall apart just because you’re in different countries. But if it’ll make you feel any better I’ll look out for her for you – she does almost seem like my little sister. By the way, if Sandy doesn’t learn how to control her bladder in this house then I’m sending her over to you on a plane.

We’ll miss you,

Phil (+ Margaret, William and Fiona)

From Rosie

To Stephanie

Subject Urgent sisterly advice needed

I can’t believe he’s gone, Steph. I can’t believe you’re gone. Why is everyone leaving me? Surely you could have ‘found yourself’ a little closer to home? But France? Alex left only a few weeks ago but I almost feel like he’s dead …

Why did he have to break up with Slutty Bethany just two weeks before he left? Then I wouldn’t have gotten used to him being around so much again. Things really got back to normal, Steph. It was brilliant. We spent every second together and had so much fun!

Brian the Whine threw a going-away party for Alex just last week; I think it was just an excuse for Brian the Whine to get permission from his parents to have a party, to be honest, because the two of them never liked each other. Not since that pizza in James’s hair incident. But anyway, Whine held the party in his house and invited all of his friends, and me and Alex knew hardly anyone in the entire place! The people we did know we can’t stand, so we left and headed into town. You know O’Brien’s where we held your surprise 21st? Well, we went there and Alex had the bright idea of standing outside the pub door and pretending to be the bouncer. (There was none on the door that night because it was only a Monday.) Well, he pulled it off anyway because he’s really tall and muscly – you know Alex! Anyway, we stood there for ages turning people away; I don’t think he let one person in. Eventually we got bored and headed inside to the empty pub. Of course, the more drinks we had, the more me and Alex ended up getting all weepy about him moving away … Apart from that the night was brilliant. I miss the times we had, just us together like that.

You can’t imagine how lonely it is at school these days. I’m just short of getting down on my hands and knees and begging for someone to be my friend. How pathetic. No one really cares. I spent the last few years ignoring them so they don’t feel like they really have to talk to me. I think some of them are even enjoying it. The teachers are loving it. Mr. Simpson called me back after class to congratulate me on how well I’m doing lately. It’s shameful; Alex would be appalled if he found out I was actually working at school. I’m horrified that things have gotten so bad that I actually pay attention to the teachers. They’re the only people who even talk to me from one day to the next. How depressing.

I wake up in the morning and I feel like I’m missing something. I know that there’s something not right, and it takes me a while to remember what it is … then I remember. My best friend is gone. My only friend. It was silly of me to rely so much on one person. It’s all coming back on me now.

Anyway, sorry for whinging on and on all the time. I’m sure you have enough problems of your own to worry about. Tell me how my sophisticated big sis is doing over in France. Strange you’re over there – you always hated French class. At least it’s only for a few months, right? And then you’re coming back? Dad’s still not happy about you dropping out of college. Why you had to go away to find yourself is beyond me. Just look in the mirror. What’s the restaurant like? Have you dropped any plates yet? Are you going to work there for long? Any nice men? There must be; French men are yummy. If there are any spare men that you don’t want, send them my way.

Love,

Rosie

PS. Dad wants to know if you have enough money and if you’ve found yourself yet. Mum wants to know if you are eating properly. Little Kevin (he is so tall now you wouldn’t believe!) wants to know if you’ll send him some video game or other over. I don’t know what he’s talking about so just ignore him.

From Stephanie

To Rosie

Subject Re: Urgent sisterly advice

Hello, my darling little sister.

Don’t worry about Alex. I’ve thought long and hard about it and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a good idea he’s not there for your final year of school because at least for the first year EVER you may not get suspended. Think of how proud you would make Mum and Dad. (Oh, by the way, tell them I’m broke, starving and currently looking for myself in an internet café in Paris.)

I definitely know how you feel right now. I’m alone here too, but just stick the year out and when you’re finished maybe Alex will move back to Ireland, or you can go to college in Boston!

Aim for something, Rosie, I know you don’t want to hear it, but it will help. Aim for what you want and the year will all make sense. Go to Boston if that will make you happy. Study hotel management like you’ve always wanted.

You’re only young, Rosie, and I know that you absolutely hate to hear that but it’s true. What seems tragic now won’t even be an issue in a few years’ time. You’re only seventeen. You and Alex have the rest of your lives to catch up together. After all, soulmates always end up together. Silly Bethany won’t even be remembered then. Ex-girlfriends are easily forgotten. Best friends stay with you for ever.

Take care. Tell Mum and Dad I said hi and that I’m still looking for myself but may have found someone else in the process. Tall, dark and handsome …

Chapter 5

Dear Ms. Rosie Dunne,

Thank you for your application to study Hotel Management with us at Boston College. We are delighted to inform you that you were successful in your application …

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Boston here I come!

I GOT IN!! Boston College, here I come!!!

WAHOOO! The letter arrived just this morning and I am soooo excited! You’d better not move a muscle, Mr. Stewart, because I am finally coming to see you. It’ll be great, even though you and I won’t be studying at the same college. (Harvard is far too distinguished for the likes of me!) But I think it’s just as well because I don’t think we can really afford to get suspended again …

Email or call me as soon as possible. I’d call you but Dad put a block on long-distance calls, as you know, after the last bill. Mum and Dad are so proud, they’re phoning all the family to tell them. I think they’re hoping I’ll be the first Dunne child to go to college and actually finish the course. Dad keeps warning me not to go trying to ‘find myself’ anywhere like Stephanie did. By the way, it doesn’t look like Steph is coming home anytime soon. She met some chef that works at the restaurant she’s waiting at, and she’s officially ‘in love’.

The phone hasn’t stopped ringing all day with congratulations! Honestly, Alex, the house is buzzing! Paul and Eileen from across the road sent over a bunch of flowers for me, which was really nice. Mum’s getting the house ready for a get-together tonight, just a few sandwiches and cocktail sausages, that kind of thing. Kevin is happy I’m leaving so he can be even more spoiled than usual. I’ll miss the brat even though he never talks to me. I’ll miss Mum and Dad even more, but right now everyone is just so excited I’ve been accepted to think about the fact that I won’t be living here any more. I suppose the enormity of it will hit me the day I wave goodbye, but in the meantime we’ll continue to celebrate!

PS. One of these days I can run a hotel and you can be the doctor-in-the-house who saves the lives of the guests I poison in the restaurant, just like we always planned. Oh, this has all worked out wonderfully …

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Re: Boston here I come!

This is brilliant news! I can’t wait to see you too! Harvard isn’t too far away from Boston College (well, in comparison to being a whole ocean apart – can you believe Harvard accepted me? It must be the intellects’ idea of a hilarious joke). I’m too excited to type – just get over here. When are you coming?

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject September

I won’t be over till September, only a few days before the semester starts, because I have got so many things to sort out you wouldn’t believe!

The debs are at the end of August – will you come over for them? Everyone would love to see you, and I need someone to go with! We will have so much fun and we can annoy all our teachers, just like old times … Let me know.

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Re: Debs

Of course I’ll come home for our debs. I wouldn’t miss it for the world!

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Where r u???

I’m at the internet café at the airport. Me & Dad have been here for hours. I tried your house phone and mobile. Don’t know where else to call. Hope everything’s ok.

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Sorry!

Rosie, I am so sorry. This whole day has been an absolute nightmare. There was a foul-up with the flight. I don’t no what happened, but my name wasn’t in the system when I went to collect my ticket. I’ve been here all day trying to get another flight. They’re all booked because of people flying home from holidays and students returning home, etc. I’m on standby, but so far there’s been nothing. I’m just hanging around the airport waiting for a flight. This is a nightmare.

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Flight tomorrow

Dad’s talking to the lady at Aer Lingus ticket desk. She says there’s a flight that leaves Boston tomorrow at 10.10 a.m. It takes five hours to get here so that will make it 3 p. m., then we’re five hours ahead, which will make it 8 p.m. We could collect you from airport and go straight to ball? Or maybe you’d prefer to go to my house first? You can’t wear your tux on the plane because you’ll get all crumpled. What do you think?

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Flight

Rosie, bad news. That flight is fully booked.

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Flight

Shit. Think, think, think. What can I do? It seems that we can get you here every other bloody day except tomorrow. Somebody up there really doesn’t want you to get on that plane. Maybe it’s a sign?

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject My fault

It’s my fault, I should have double-checked with the airline yesterday – they always say you should reconfirm your flights but whoever does? I no I’ve messed up your night but please go to the debs anyway. You still have the whole day to find someone else to go with you. Take loads of photos for me, and enjoy yourself. Sorry, Rosie.

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Re: My fault

It’s not your fault. I’m disappointed but let’s be realistic, it’s not the end of the world. I’m gonna be in Boston in a little over a month and we’ll be seeing each other EVERY DAY! Make sure you get your money back for that flight, the eejits. We’ll have a brilliant time. I better go searching for a man now …

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Manhunt

Any luck finding a man?

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Man found

What a stupid question!! Of course I found a man. I’m insulted you even needed to ask …

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Mystery man

Then who is it?

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Secret man

That would be absolutely none of your business.

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Invisible man

HA! You didn’t find a date!! I knew it!

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Big strong man

Yes I did.

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject No man

No you didn’t.

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Yes, man!

Yes I did.

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject What man?

THEN WHO IS IT?

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Almost a man

Brian.

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Brian?

BRIAN? BRIAN THE WHINE?

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Re: Brian?

Maybe …

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject HA HA!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha, you’re going to the debs with Brian the Whine?! Talk about scraping the barrel! Brian who lifted your skirt when you were six, in front of everyone in the school yard, to reveal your knickers? The Brian you were stuck sitting beside for all of second class, who ate fish sandwiches every day for lunch and picked his nose while you ate your sandwiches? The Brian who followed us home from school everyday singing ‘Rosie and Alex up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G?’ and made you cry and ignore me for a week? The Brian who spilled his beer all down your new top at my going-away party? The Brian you absolutely can’t stand and was the one person you actually hated all throughout school? And now you’re going to the last school dance ever, with Brian?

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject No, the other Brian

Yes, Alex, that Brian. Now may I ask that you please stop emailing me as my darling mother is currently tying knots in my head trying to make me look half decent? She has also been reading your emails and wants you to know that Brian the Whine won’t be lifting up my skirt tonight.

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Re: Brian

Well, it won’t be for lack of trying. Have fun! May I suggest that you wear your beer goggles tonight?

From Rosie

To Alex

Subject Re: Beer goggles

The beer goggles will be well and truly on! Brian was the only person I could get last minute, thanks to you. All I have to do is stand in with him for the photos so that Mum and Dad can have lovely memories of their daughter going to the debs all dressed up with a man in a tuxedo. The tables seat ten so I won’t even have to talk to him at dinner. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, Alex?

From Alex

To Rosie

Subject Re: Re: Beer goggles

Not really. I’d love to be there instead. Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do …