I’ll Bring You Buttercups

‘Oh, dear. You didn’t pack them?’

‘I have none to bring with me,’ he smiled. ‘Evening dress is on my list of necessities, but quite some way down. There are other things must come first, you see, though I’ll admit I’ve had to miss many medical gatherings with after-dinner speakers I’d have liked fine to have heard, because of it. I wish I could have helped your numbers. I’m sorry.’

‘Oh, no.’ Julia’s face showed disappointment. She would have liked nothing better than to show Andrew off, have him introduced to her mother’s friends. It would have set the seal on her family’s approval; been as good, almost, as an announcement in The Times. ‘Are you sure you –’

‘Very sure, Julia, though I promise you I shall think more urgently, now, about the matter. And I would have been happy to accept – you know that, Lady Sutton?’

‘Then in that case would you – oh, dear, this is going to make things even worse.’ Helen’s cheeks burned bright red. ‘Would you, for my sake and Julia’s, perhaps consider borrowing?’

‘Of course I would – if you can find someone with a suit to spare – and one that fits. I’m not so foolish, ma’am,’ he said softly, ‘that I’d let pride stand in the way of such an invitation.’

‘Then I thank you, and I’m almost certain we can find something. My husband, you see, would never throw anything away, and the smallest – the slimmest,’ she corrected with a smile, ‘of his evening suits is still hanging there. It is the one he wore when first we were married, but it isn’t at all dated. You are his height and build, doctor. Will you – after we have eaten – consider trying that one on? And I’m sure that somewhere there’ll be a shirt to fit, and shirt studs, though shoes I’m not too sure about. But would you …?’

‘I would indeed,’ he replied, gravely.

‘But, Mama,’ Julia gasped. ‘You never – I mean –’ Nothing that was her father’s had been discarded. Nothing that was his had been moved, even, since the day he died. His pipe still lay on the desk in the library; the loose coins from his pocket on the dressing-table where he had placed them; his cape and driving goggles still hung behind the garage door.

‘It’s all right,’ said Helen gently. ‘I have come out of my black and accept that I must face the world again. And I am bound to confess that the doctor is so like your pa once was – even the colour of his eyes – that I shall take no hurt in seeing John’s clothes on him,’ she whispered. ‘Please indulge me, Andrew?’ she asked, using his name for the first time. ‘I think perhaps that on Friday night I might feel a little unsure and need John with me, but if you are there, and Giles …’

‘I understand, ma’am. And far from taking exception to your offer, I take it kindly. We must hope,’ he smiled, ‘that the suit fits me.’

And Julia closed her eyes and fervently hoped so, too, and thought that she had never loved her mother as she loved her now.

‘Vegetables?’ she smiled, offering a dish, her eyes bright with affection, her heart so full of happiness she felt light-headed. ‘And if they don’t quite fit, I’m sure Hawthorn could do a quick alteration on them – I’m sure of it.’

And dear, sweet Lord, thank you for my lovely family and for this great singing happiness inside me.

And please let me keep it?

Alice held Morgan’s lead tightly, reluctant to release him. She wanted with all her heart to see Tom, even if it meant walking alone in Brattocks again, but she had felt relief, almost, when Miss Clitherow had asked her to sponge and press the suit.

‘The doctor’s evening dress. He’ll be coming to the dinner party,’ was all that was offered by way of explanation, but Alice at once suggested it be hung out to air, so strong was the camphory smell of mothballs on it. The suit wasn’t really the doctor’s, Alice knew; rather something long stored away and in need of a good valeting. Yet Doctor Andrew being asked to the Friday night dinner – now that was good news, she had thought, as she pegged the hangers firmly to the drying-green line. And then she had felt so guilty about Tom that she had taken Morgan’s lead and run to the library, where the impatient creature waited, tail wagging.

And she must face Brattocks Wood again. She had promised Mr Giles, him being away seeing the agent, that she would take Morgan out; had said it would be all right, that the doctor had even suggested that she do it.

‘A bit like falling off a horse,’ he’d assured her. ‘You get straight back in the saddle …’

Yet now here she was at the woodland fence – unsure, and wanting to keep Morgan beside her, even though she was certain that Tom would be there and Elliot Sutton would not; even though her hatpin, on good advice, was secure beneath the lapel of her jacket.

‘You never know,’ Tilda said sagely, recounting one of her love-book heroines who had defended her virtue with the pin from her Sunday hat.

‘No,’ Alice whispered to the animal who had become used to being released at the fence. ‘Stay now, there’s a good dog.’ Carefully manoeuvring the lead from hand to hand, she climbed the stile, then stood, ears straining for the snapping of a twig that might betray some other presence. But Tom walked without sound as a keeper should, and the silence comforted her. ‘Tom?’ she called. ‘Tom Dwerryhouse?’

At once she heard his answering whistle. It was all right! He was waiting for her! Bending, she released the lead, relief pulsing through her. Nothing could harm her, she should have known it, and taking in a deep, calming gulp of air, tilting her chin high, she began to walk the narrow, moss-edged path.

She needed to see Tom, she urged silently; wanted him to hold her, touch her, because last night she had discovered the depths to which a man could sink and she needed to be sure that men like Elliot Sutton were few and far between. She wanted to close her eyes and lift her mouth to Tom’s so she might forget the way another man had kissed her; but most of all she wanted to know she had not changed, that what had happened only a few yards from this spot had not caused her to mistrust all men – even Tom, who loved her.

‘Alice, sweetheart …’

He was there, Morgan at his heels; the same Tom. So why did some strange voice inside her demand she must be sure that he should know the line that divided love from lust – and never step beyond it?

‘Alice?’ He walked slowly to where she stood, rooted to the ground, her feet all at once useless.

She ran her tongue round her lips, then moved them consciously into the shape of a smile, thinking for one wild moment to turn and run back to the stile and climb it again; place it like a barrier between them. But she did not, could not.

‘You came, then,’ she murmured, eyes on her boots.

‘You knew I would. I came at teatime, too, though I thought you’d not want to venture here again just yet.’

‘I did, though. Well – Morgan is with me,’ she defended.

‘Aye. He’ll not let anyone harm you.’ Carefully, as if she were some small, cornered animal, he raised his hand; gently he placed his fingertips to her face.

‘Poor little love. Does it hurt bad?’

‘Hardly at all. It looks worse than it is.’

‘I wanted to kill him, last night,’ he muttered, thickly. ‘I wish I had.’

‘No, Tom. Never wish that – he’s not worth it.’

‘He harmed you, dirtied you. I’ll not forgive him for that!’

‘It’s over,’ she urged, her voice no more than a whisper. ‘It’s behind me.’

‘But is it behind you? Can you be sure, lass? Can you be certain that what happened hasn’t set you against me, against all men?’

‘No!’ she cried, unnerved that he could look into her eyes and read the thoughts behind them. ‘Why should I think that?’

‘I don’t know, though I wouldn’t blame you if you did. But I won’t ever harm you, and you must know it, or there’s no future for you and me. So tell me why you’re holding yourself back from me – because you are …’

‘Tom!’ She glanced wildly around her, unwilling to meet his gaze. ‘How am I to know? How can I be sure that once we’re wed you won’t turn into –’

She stopped, tears choking her words, sudden fear making her want to run away from this encounter; run back to the warmth of Rowangarth kitchen; to Mrs Shaw and Mary and Tilda and Bess. And Miss Clitherow, looking down her nose.

‘That I won’t turn into an animal like the one that attacked you last night? Well, I won’t, Alice. I love you. It would be sweet and gentle between us.’

‘And you wouldn’t change, and look at me wild? And you wouldn’t hit me, tear at me? Because, Tom, if that’s the way of it, if that’s the way it happens …’

‘It isn’t the way of it. With love between us it’ll be giving, not taking. And I shall make you want me, sweetheart, not make you feared of me. Loving, real loving, isn’t like it was with him, I promise you it isn’t.’

‘Then you’ll give me time …?’

‘All the time it takes. All the time in the world.’

‘Tom!’ She took a step towards him; one small step across the divide, and it was all she needed. ‘I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to think as I did. And I’d be obliged if you would kiss me like you always do when we meet, for I’ve wanted you near me so much, even though I was afraid …’

‘Alice, my little love.’ Gathering her to him, he rocked her in his arms, whispering into her hair, hushing her, waiting until he felt her relax against him. Then he tilted her chin as he had done the first time, and placed his mouth tenderly on her own. ‘Will I kiss it better for you?’ He murmured, his lips over the bruising on her face, all the time making little comforting sounds, as if she were a frightened bird he had loosed, hurt, from a poacher’s trap. ‘I love you, Alice Hawthorn; love you – do you hear me?’

‘And I love you. And you aren’t like him – I think I always knew it. But forgive me for doubting?’

Slowly she raised her arms, clasping them around his neck, lifting her face for his kiss.

‘Will I tell you something?’ he smiled. ‘Reuben told me an’ it’s on Mr Giles’s orders. If that Sutton so much as sets foot on Rowangarth land, he’s to be treated like we’d treat a poacher. My, but I wish he’d try it. I’d like nothing better than to kick his backside off the place. Hell! I do so detest that man!’

‘Then don’t. He isn’t worth your hatred. Elliot Sutton will get what he deserves one day, so leave him, Tom; leave him to God. Promise me?’

And because he loved her, his lips formed the words she wanted to hear, whilst secretly he swore he’d have justice for her, should chance ever offer the means.

‘All right, then,’ he said. ‘I promise.’

Then damned himself for a liar.

10

Friday came in clear and blue and bright, so that Tilda didn’t grumble overmuch at leaving her bed an hour earlier to clear the oven flues of soot, and when Mrs Shaw made her sleepy-eyed appearance, the kitchen range shone with blacklead polish, the fire glowed red, and a kettle puffed lazy steam from its spout.

‘Good girl, Tilda,’ Cook approved. ‘You’d best mash a sup of tea and make us a couple of toasts. And them as lies in their beds till the dot of six are going to miss out on it, aren’t they? Think we might open a jar of the strawberry,’ she added comfortably, knowing the kitchenmaid’s fondness for her ladyship’s special conserve, and knowing too that so small a reward would be repaid in extra effort during the day ahead; the hot, hectic, dinner-party day just beginning.

William called, ‘Hup!’ and the horses broke into a canter. On the carriage floor lay the ice, collected from the fishmonger in Creesby, and, atop it, to keep it cool, a parcel of lobster meat for Mrs Shaw’s thick fish soup.

Fuss and bother, that’s what dinner parties were, the coachman brooded. All coming and going and do this, William, do that. He brought down the reins with a slap. Best get a move on or Miss Clitherow would glare and he’d be in trouble with Cook an’ all. She could be a bit of a battleaxe when the mood was on her, none knew it better than William Stubbs, though she was usually good for a sup of tea and a slice of cake when it wasn’t. But all thoughts of fruit cake were quickly dismissed from William’s mind when there were matters of greater importance to think on. The carry-on in Brattocks, for one, and the to-do it had caused at Pendenys. He’d got it from the under-gardener there, so it was fact – Elliot Sutton with a badly face; his father going on something awful, and Mrs Clementina throwing a fit of the vapours so that Doctor James had to be brought in the motor.

Mind, you couldn’t expect much else from the likes of Elliot Sutton. Not real gentry, the Place Suttons. Not like Rowangarth, so you couldn’t entirely blame Pendenys for their lack of refinement, them being half trade, so to speak, and liable because of it to throw a wrong ‘un from time to time. But the atmosphere over at the Place was cold as charity if talk was to be believed. Something was going on there, or why had the laundrymaid been ordered to wash all Mr Elliot’s linen and boil and starch his shirts – every last one of them? Taking himself off, was he? Away to London again, out of the reach of his mother’s tongue? And a fair wind to his backside if it were true, thought William with grimmest pleasure. A good riddance, and no mistake.

There had better, warned Mrs Shaw, getting things straight right from the start, be no idling this morning. Indeed, they should all count themselves lucky there had been time for breakfast, so pushed were they going to be. True, the soup was well in hand, two salmon lay cooling on the cold slab in the meat cellar, and the four ribs of beef – any less would have seemed penny-pinching – had been quickly browned in a hot oven to seal in the juices, and now cooked in slow contentment on the bottom shelf.

The ice-cream and sorbet were Cook’s biggest worry, though both were safely packed with fresh ice now, and should turn out right, as they almost always did.

‘That’s the soup and salmon seen to, the beef doing nicely, and the savoury part-prepared …’ Cook was in the habit of thinking aloud on such occasions. ‘And the meringues for the pudding done yesterday, and please God that dratted ice-cream is going to behave itself. Tilda!’

‘Yes’m.’ Tilda gazed mesmerized at the pile of vegetables brought in by the under-gardener at seven that morning; a pile so enormous it had set her longing for the day she would rise to the heights of assistant cook – or even under-housemaid would do – and so be able to watch some other unfortunate scrape carrots, peel potatoes, slice cucumbers and pod peas. Yet, she conceded, as the scent of strawberries – the first of the season and straight from the hotbed in the kitchen garden – teased her nostrils, being a kitchenmaid did have its compensations, for no one would miss the plump half dozen that would find their way to her mouth when no one was looking.

‘Think we can manage a breather,’ Cook murmured, hands to her burning cheeks. ‘Might as well have a sup of tea.’ Heaven only knew when there’d be time for another. ‘Put the kettle on, Tilda, then pop upstairs and fetch Mary and Bess and Ellen …’

Mrs Shaw’s long, dramatic sigh masked the excitement that churned inside her. Dinner parties at Rowangarth again! Oh, the joy of it, and herself thinking she would never live to see another. Goodness gracious, what a hustle and bustle and delight this day would be.

Ellen had arrived early that morning, leaving her children in the care of her mother-in-law, walking the half-mile to Rowangarth with a lightness of step. In the brown paper parcel she carried were her carefully folded frock – her best one, in navy – and a stiffly-starched cap with ribbon trailers and a bibbed apron, wrapped carefully around a rolled newspaper to prevent creasing. It would be grand to be with them all again, and tomorrow there would be a knock on her front door – her ladyship was always prompt with her thanks – and William would deliver a letter marked By Hand in the top, left-hand corner; a letter signed Helen M. Sutton and containing five shillings for her pains.

Five beautiful shillings. Ellen’s step had quickened, just to think of it. It would buy material for a Sunday-best dress and tobacco for her man, and a bag of jujubes for the bairns.

Now, in what had been her second-best uniform, and which still fitted her even after two pregnancies, she and Mary and the head gardener, his feet in felt slippers so as not to leave marks on the carpet, were setting a table splendid to see, with sweeps of fern looped around the table edges and, at each corner, a ribboned posy of carnations – carnations being known to keep fresh the longest. And thank goodness for Rowangarth’s heated glasshouses: peaches and nectarines, ready long before nature intended, made up part of a magnificent, two-feet-tall centrepiece of fruit, roses, lilies-of-the-valley and maidenhair fern. Already she had checked the fingerbowls, laid ready to be filled with water and sprinkled with rose petals later in the afternoon, and now, menu in hand, she checked the cutlery for correctness, walking round the table unspeaking.

‘Will it do?’ Nervously, Mary moved glasses a fraction of an inch, wondering if she had folded the table napkins into anything less than perfect waterlilies. ‘Have I done anything wrong?’

Ellen continued her progress from chair to chair, then looked up, smiling.

‘It is perfect, Mary. I can’t fault it. It would seem I taught you well. You can tell Miss Clitherow that only the place-cards need to be seen to now, for where guests will sit is nothing to do with us. Then we shall do as Tilda bids, and be off to the kitchen for a sup.’ She took the parlourmaid’s arm and tucked it in her own. ‘I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Mrs Shaw hasn’t made cherry scones: she always used to on dinner-party days. I still remember those scones. Oh, but this is going to be a rare day for me, Mary. It’s so good to be back at Rowangarth.’

Mrs Shaw sat herself down in the kitchen rocker and, taking a corner of her apron in each hand, billowed it out like a fan to cool her burning cheeks.

‘You can pour now, Tilda, and pass round the scones, for I’m fair whacked already …’

And loving every minute of, Ellen thought, washing her hands at the sinkstone; loving it as she always had before Sir John was taken and there had been a dinner party at least once a month.

‘Come now, Mrs Shaw,’ she admonished with a forwardness permitted only because of her marital state and her past years of service at Rowangarth. ‘You know you’ll be queen of the kitchen tonight, and all of them upstairs exclaiming over your cooking.’ And though she knew that a parlourmaid must never repeat table talk, it would be expected of both herself and Mary to pass on overheard compliments. ‘I can say for certain that Judge Mounteagle will allow himself to be persuaded to take another of your savouries, and you’ll have seen to it there’ll be extra, especially for him.’

Glowing, Cook accepted the plate and cup placed at her side, knowing everything Ellen said to be true, for wasn’t she indeed queen of her own kitchen, and as such had never seen the need for wedlock when all her heart could ever want was at Rowangarth. Here, she could go to bed master and get up next morning her own mistress, for the title of ‘Mrs’ was one of kindness, allowed to unmarried cooks and nannies. Truth known she was Miss Shaw and for ever would remain so.

‘Aah,’ she murmured, drinking deeply, smiling secretly. ‘Queen of nothing I once was. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was my twelfth birthday and the next day I left school. There were nine of us bairns; all to keep on a sovereign-a-week’s wages. I was one of the middle three, the fifth, right in the middle, and middle children had a hard time of it, I can tell you.’

She closed her eyes, calling back the firstborn brothers, well able to stick up for themselves, and the three youngest, petted like the babies they still were.

‘Us in the middle were all girls, all mouths to feed and backs to clothe; so Mam had no choice. Taken to Mother Beswick at the Mop Fair all three of us were: in them days, servants was hired at the Mop Fairs. I remember when it was my turn to go, and Mam telling me to work hard and not complain and say my prayers at night. Then she kissed me and gave Mother Beswick a florin and asked her to place me with an upright family if she could manage it. I never saw my mother again …’

‘And?’ prompted Ellen, as the elderly cook lapsed into remembering and Tilda sniffed loudly and dabbed her eyes with her apron.

‘And I was the luckiest lass in the North Riding that day,’ Cook beamed, ‘for didn’t Mrs Stormont’s housekeeper take me? Lady Helen’s mother, Mrs Stormont was, and a real gentlewoman. And I was trained up to under-cook, then came here to Rowangarth with Miss Helen when she married Sir John.’

‘Ar,’ sighed Tilda, who liked happy endings, ‘but what if you’d been placed middle-class? What if some shopkeeper’s wife had taken you for a skivvy?’

‘What if nothing!’ Cook selected another cherry scone. ‘I ended up here, didn’t I, and determined never to wed and have bairns to rear to line Ma Beswick’s pocket; a lesson you’d do well to heed, young Tilda.’

‘Yes, Mrs Shaw,’ agreed the kitchenmaid, though she was only waiting, like the heroines in her love books, to be swept off her feet by the romance of her life. Exactly like Miss Julia had been; snatched from the jaws of death by a young doctor who’d been waiting for a beautiful woman to fall at his feet in a faint. Miss Julia, who was head over heels in love.

Tilda drained her cup, then resumed her peeling and scraping and slicing and podding. Resumed it for the time being, that was. Until he came.

On hands and knees in the great hall where tonight milady would be receiving, Bessie rubbed tea-leaves into the rugs. For the past two days, teapots had been drained and the swollen leaves squeezed and set aside for carpet cleaning. There was nothing like them for taking away the dusty, musty smell and freshening jaded colours, Miss Clitherow insisted.

Bessie brushed the tea-leaves out vigorously, mindful that the under-gardener waited outside with a barrow filled with potted plants and ferns from the planthouse, to arrange in the hall so that tonight it would seem as if the garden had crept inside.

Bessie sighed happily. Tonight, in place of Alice whose face was not yet presentable, she would be on duty in the bedroom set aside for lady guests, on hand to receive cloaks and wraps, offer small gold safety-pins if required, and smelling-salts where necessary, and listen, eyes downcast, to the gossip. And, best of all, she would see the beautiful dinner gowns at first hand instead of being stuck below stairs, seeing nothing, hearing nothing.

She didn’t mind the extra work at all, because this sad old house had come alive again, and there would be luncheon parties and dinner parties galore from now on. And there would be at least a shilling in tips left for her on the dressing-table, she shouldn’t wonder.

‘You can come in now,’ she told the young man she had kept waiting for the past ten minutes. ‘I’ll leave the pan and brush so you can sweep up after yourself if you make any mess, for I’m too busy to do it,’ she declared, whisking away so that her skirts swung wide, offering a glimpse of ankle that made him flush with pleasure.

He formed his lips into a long, low whistle, a sound that stopped her in her tracks. She turned to face his slow wink of approval. ‘Cheeky!’ she said airily. ‘And you’d best leave the pan and brush at the kitchen door when you’re done,’ she ordered.

Cheeky he might be, but when he returned the pan and brush, she just might return that wink …

‘Now tell me,’ whispered Ellen, as she laid her best dress and apron on Mary’s bed, ‘if it’s true what I hear – that Miss Julia has an admirer?’

‘It’s true,’ came the unhesitating reply, for Ellen was entirely to be trusted. ‘Met him in London, in Hyde Park. Ever so romantic. She tripped and fell, see, because of her tight old skirt, and he was there like a shot, holding her hand, seeing to her. It was meant to be, if you ask me. And he’s so nice and kindly in his manner. Make a lovely couple …’