Not Until You

“Look at me, Cela,” he commanded, his tone harsh.

Her attention snapped his way, as if she couldn’t stop herself from obeying.

He held her eye contact and slowly drained his own shot.

Poured another, drank again.

Then another, drank again. “I could keep going.”

In Foster’s peripheral vision, Pike gave a slow, satisfied grin. “Honesty. I like it.”

Cela’s throat worked as she swallowed hard, her lips parted, closed, opened again as if she had words to say but couldn’t pick which ones.

“Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours,” Foster said, keeping his voice even. “You don’t need to be afraid to say what you’re thinking.”

She licked her lips, the pulse at her throat visibly jumping. “First, I need to know what this is—tonight.”

Pike angled toward her on the couch. “We told you, doc. It’s your night to have a good time, whatever that may be.”

She looked to Pike, then back to Foster and lifted her hand to the neckline of her dress. Her fingers dipped underneath the material and moved along her sweat-dampened skin, riveting Foster’s gaze. She pulled a small square of paper out.

“What’s that?” Pike asked.

“In less than a month, I’ll be back in the small town I grew up in. Everything there is planned out for me in a nice, neat path. The job I’ve always known I’d have, the guy I’m supposed to date, the place I’m going to live.”

She hesitated and stared down at the paper, her thumb rubbing across the smooth white surface over and over again. Pike put a palm to her back, a gentle grounding touch that seemed to replenish Cela’s resolve. She gave them both a wavering half smile before continuing.

“I’ve lived my whole life working toward exactly that goal. It’s what I’ve wanted for so long. But I realized tonight that I’ve missed out on a lot of experiences that weren’t bullet points in the plan. I don’t want to go back home with a Never Have I Ever list a mile long.” She set the square of paper on the table, let her fingers linger on top of it for a moment, and then pushed it toward the center. “And I was hoping you two might help me scratch some things off the list.”

Foster’s attention zeroed in on the note, his heartbeat climbing up a notch.

“Whoa,” Pike said, her declaration apparently stunning the nothing-shocks-me musician.

Before Pike could take the liberty, Foster reached out and laid his palm over the small square, the paper slightly damp from being against Cela’s bare skin. He resisted the urge to bring it to his nose and inhale.

“That is,” she rushed on, her eyes darting toward Foster’s grip on her note. “If y’all are, you know, really interested in me or whatever but if not …”

“Shh …” Pike said, pressing his fingers against her lips. “Doc, if what’s on that sheet has anything to do with getting to touch you again, I have no doubt we’ll be all for it.”

Foster lifted the paper, unfolded it carefully, and stared down at the neat, bulleted list Cela had written on half a notebook page.

Never Have I Ever …

Broken the rules.

Had a one-night stand.

Lived out a fantasy.

Slept with the hot neighbors I’ve been crushing on for a year.

Lost control.

But I want to …

The paper crinkled beneath Foster’s fingertips as all sights and sounds around him seemed to fade, the words on the page nearly glowing at him. But I want to … He looked up at Cela, the vulnerable expression on her face reminding him of her youth, her innocence. But his stampeding libido trampled over those concerns, his cock hardening past the point of maybe. Yes, she was sweet. Inexperienced.

But the woman who wrote this list knew what she wanted, what she craved.

And he’d be damned if he was going to let someone else give it to her.

If Cela wanted to lose control with someone, he knew the guys for the task.

He stood, tucking the note in his pocket, and holding out a hand. “I think we’re done dancing.”

* * *

My heart was pounding hard enough to make my chest hurt, and a fine sheen of sweat had gathered on my neck, but I managed to get to my feet and take Foster’s offered hand. This is what I had wanted when I’d knocked on their door tonight. Wanton abandon. A departure from all that my predictable life normally was.

But now that I was standing with my toes peeking over the edge of the precipice, preparing to leap, the ingrained voice of my father was firing in my head like a machine gun. What are you doing? You don’t know these men. You’re not this kind of girl. What would people say?

And the ever popular, Don’t shame the family.

My father had used that one ad nauseam throughout my childhood. My older sister, Luz, had fallen into the wrong crowd in high school, had a boyfriend who’d stolen from people in town, and had gotten pregnant at sixteen. The taint of that had hung over us for years, even after my father had sent Luz away, disowning her after she terminated the pregnancy. So with my oldest brother away in the military and Luz gone, it had been left to me and Andre to prove that “those Medina kids” weren’t all bad.

Be a good girl or you won’t be part of this family anymore. My father had never stated it that way, but the sentiment had hung in the household like a stench you couldn’t air out. And now here I was putting myself into the hands of two men, giving them a laundry list of sins I’d like to commit.

Foster’s fingers laced with mine, and he pulled me closer to him, dragging me from my swirling thoughts. He brushed my hair away from my face and graced me with a smile that sent warmth bleeding through me. “You’re panicking already, angel. Don’t. There’s no need.”

The endearment and soft tone were like soothing strokes to my climbing anxiety. He probably called girls angel all the time. I wasn’t under the delusion that I was any different than the women I’d heard in their apartment over the last two years. But something about the way he said it, the reverence in it, made me want to curl into him, to block out the harsh voice in my head.

“Is it okay that I’m a little scared?” I asked, offering my own attempt at a smile.

He cradled my face, his blue eyes seeming to read me as if every emotion were printed in permanent marker on my forehead. “It’s all right to be scared of the unknown, to be nervous about exploring things you’ve only thought about in private moments. But you don’t have to be scared of us.”

Pike stepped up behind Foster. “He’s right, doc.”

“But I have no idea what I’m doing. I want this, but I know I’m in over my head,” I said, the men’s stark gazes pulling blatant honesty out of me.

Foster chuckled. “Lucky for you, there isn’t anything I like more than being in charge and giving directions.”

Pike smirked. “No truer words have ever been spoken.”

“Come on.” Foster’s grip tightened on my fingers, and Pike came around to flank my opposite side, grabbing my other hand. “Your only instruction for tonight is going to be an easy one to follow.”

One instruction? My mind flipped through possible scenarios like a day calendar in a wind gust as Foster and Pike led me down the stairs and through the crowd on the bottom floor. What would they expect from me? What if they asked me to do something I couldn’t handle or didn’t know how to do? What if they laughed at me like the frat guy had my sophomore year?

Pike retrieved my purse from the coat check stand, and by the time the three of us finally pushed through the doors and the night air hit us, my nerves were gnawing at me, chewing through my resolve. I glanced back and forth between the two guys, but neither was giving anything away.

The valet hailed a cab and Pike climbed in. I peeked over at Foster, gathering courage. “Can I ask what my one instruction is going to be?”

He grinned and pressed his lips against my ear as he guided me toward the cab. “To show us exactly how much pleasure you can take before you beg us to stop.”

“Oh,” I whispered, my insides liquefying.

He slid into the cab next to me, pressing me against Pike. Pike draped his arm around me, and Foster laid a hand along my exposed thigh.

“The Hotel St. Mark, please,” Foster said to the driver.

“Hotel?” I asked.

He traced a small, sensuous circle along my inner thigh, making me think of gentle tongues and nips of teeth moving higher. My sex clenched.

“Wouldn’t want to wake the neighbors.”

Chapter 6

I was in a cab on the way to a hotel with Foster and Pike. Foster and Pike. I kept blinking, staring out at the road in front of me, wondering if the whole scene was going to fade before my eyes. Maybe I’d passed out drunk in my apartment and was hallucinating. Could you hallucinate from alcohol? Because surely this couldn’t be me—Cela, the high school valedictorian, the no-I-can’t-go-out-tonight-because-I-have-to-study good girl. Nice girls like that didn’t get in a car with two sexy, older guys for a one-night stand—a one-night threesome. Shit. This was crazy.

Cuh-razy.

I’d never been so simultaneously excited and nervous in my entire life. But despite all the implications about what kind of girl this made me, I found myself desperately hoping that this wasn’t some dream, that it truly was real.

“You okay?” Foster asked me after giving the driver instructions.

I nodded, though the move felt stiff and jerky. “You bet.”

He chuckled quietly and settled in, his hand resting casually on my knee. His mouth dipped close to my ear. “Breathe, Cela.”

“Trying,” I whispered, my heart stuttering at the warm feel of his skin on mine. Pike stretched his arm over the back of the seat and sent me a reassuring smile.

I closed my eyes and inhaled a long, deep breath before opening them again. Surprisingly, it seemed to help a bit. Well, that and the fact that the guys seemed to refuse to let me be anxious for long. I expected the cab ride to be tense, the question—Am I really going to do this?—on thunderous repeat in my head. But with Foster’s hand caressing my thigh and Pike’s fingers teasing the hair at my nape, I was losing myself in the rising tide of hormones. The nerves were siphoning off with each gentle touch, each caress. And the question of Am I going to do this? transformed into if not now, why not? It wasn’t like I could find guys I was more attracted to. And they weren’t going to pressure me. If I didn’t like something or changed my mind, they would stop. I knew that in my gut. This was my chance to have a fantasy night, and I’d be stupid not to take advantage of it.

Internal pep talk complete, I relaxed against the seat, Foster’s and Pike’s body heat bookending me, their combined scents like bottled sex and man. Mmm.

Foster smiled down at me. “Feeling better?”

“Getting there,” I said as I closed my eyes, my voice taking on a dreamlike quality even to my own ears. No longer was I thinking of the past, my lack of experience, or what kind of girl this supposedly made me. All I was thinking about was twisted hotel sheets, naked skin, and feeling these two guys against me, on top of me… inside me. Even thinking those last two words gave me a hard shiver, a heady cocktail of desire and fear filtering through my blood.

Foster’s hand drifted higher, the strokes against my thigh deceptively light. If the cabbie turned and peeked back, Foster’s touch would look like an afterthought, casual. But the soft, circular glides were a silent, relentless assault on my starved libido. I ached for more, for the intensity I sensed lurking in this man. Foster’s touch moved even higher, and as if acting on their own volition, my knees parted a bit further than was appropriate.

I opened my eyes, surprised by my own involuntary response, and caught the hint of Foster’s smile in my peripheral vision. He kept his eyes forward as he asked the cab driver a question, but his pinky snuck beneath my dress and grazed my satin panties.

Oh, Lord. A hot ripple of heat sizzled up and outward. I bit my lip to keep from gasping. This was not happening. Couldn’t be.

Pike joined in the conversation with the driver—something about the basketball finals maybe—but I couldn’t be sure. My brain was in reboot.

Foster’s hand disappeared beneath my dress again, this time more boldly. If the driver really looked back now, he’d know something was up. I set my purse on my knees, blocking the view. Foster’s fingertip dragged across the damp satin, finding my hot button through the thin fabric and circling around it.

My muscles tensed like I’d been Tasered, and my fingernails curled into the leather of my purse. Pike’s hand cupped my neck and squeezed, letting me know that even if he was carrying on a mundane conversation, he knew exactly what Foster was doing to me and how my body was responding.

Foster stroked me through the fabric once, twice—knowing exactly where to touch. I tried not to squirm in the seat. My body was near detonation already after what had happened on the dance floor. I hadn’t been touched like this by anyone other than myself in years. And, God, how many times had I fantasized about this very guy being the one to do it? I wasn’t going to be able to hold it together.

And apparently he didn’t want me to, because before I could even catch another breath, he was moving aside the fabric. The pad of his finger brushed embarrassingly slippery skin and dipped lower, finding my entrance. He slipped one long finger inside. I did gasp this time, unable to hold it back, but Pike conveniently coughed over the sound.

Foster moved his finger back to my clitoris, gliding over me with the exact amount of pressure that offered pleasure but not release. I had to fight hard not to make a sound, while Foster continued his calm conversation. “Can you take a left? It’s the longer way, but I don’t want to get caught in that overnight construction.”

“No problem,” the cabbie said.

“And do you mind turning up this song?” Pike asked. “I love this band.”

The music filled the cab, and Foster’s teasing touches turned purposeful. I curled my lips inward, a moan building in my throat. Oh, God. If he didn’t stop, I was going to climax right here in the cab. Loudly, if my lungs had anything to do with it.

He leaned close to me, his words barely audible against my ear. “Come for me, Cela. Let’s scratch something off that Never Have I Ever list of yours.”

His finger dipped inside me again, his thumb strumming my clit, and everything went white behind my eyes. Oh, God, oh, God. I turned my head, my lips parting, as the orgasm crashed over me. I wasn’t going to be able to stay quiet. But before a sound could slip past, a hot mouth was on me, my cry swallowed by Pike’s kiss.

My mind went blank, and inhibition dropped from me like a snapped anchor. I tumbled into the moment, the touch, the kiss. My body fluttered around Foster’s fingers, begging for more, for the real thing. And I poured that need into the kiss with Pike.

“Hotel’s right around the corner,” the cabbie said, clearing his throat and yanking me from my slow drift back down to earth. “Do you need to go through the lobby entrance or are you heading to their wine bar?”

“The lobby,” Foster said, tracing his fingers along my inner thigh again.

Pike eased away from our kiss, his gaze hooded. “The next one’s mine.”

My brain and body were buzzing in some lust-laced haze when I turned to face forward, and everything was hot, flush. Foster’s hand was back in his lap, but the bulge in his jeans was prominent. After a few breaths to return my breathing to normal, I demurely straightened my dress, then reached out and squeezed Foster’s knee in silent thanks—almost afraid to look at him because I knew I’d lose my stoic facade.

He lowered his head next to mine as the car rounded a corner and nuzzled the shell of my ear, sending a hot ripple down my left side. “That was beautiful, angel. I love feeling your fear slip from you as you let your desire take over. There’s nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and has the guts to ask for it.”

I closed my eyes, letting the warm honey of his voice slide over me.

“The Hotel St. Mark,” the driver announced.

“We’re going to make this very good for you, Cela,” Foster promised, and then Pike was taking my hand, helping me out of the cab, and leading me into the vast unknown.

Pike steered me with a hand on my back into the lavish lobby of the St. Mark. Unlike the modern lines of the club we’d just left or the sleek hotels that filled this part of downtown Dallas, this building had the look of lovingly cared-for historical opulence—inlaid marble tile, rich dark wood furniture, and a grand staircase that would make a bride-to-be weep.

“Wow, this is beautiful,” I whispered, feeling as if I needed to keep my voice down, lest the building realize I was far too small town to be staying in a place so elegant.

Foster smiled down at me as we made our way over to the front desk. “Glad you approve. I book all of my out-of-town clients here.”

Clients? The statement was like a one-two punch of reality. My step stuttered.

Both guys paused, as if totally in tune with my every movement. “Everything okay?” Pike asked.

I glanced between the two of them. “Yes. Fine. I just…”

“Go ahead,” Foster said, giving a nod of encouragement.

“Well, I just realized two things. One, there’s no way I could afford to pay for even half a room here. And, two, I have no idea what you do for a living, Foster.”

Foster leveled a gaze at me. “First, you won’t pay for anything, ever. So let’s get that out of the way.”

“But—”

He put a finger to my lips, my scent still on him. “That part is non-negotiable. Secondly, I own a tech company called 4N Solutions.”

My eyebrows lifted. He owned a company? And he shared an apartment in my complex? Either he was very bad at his job, very frugal, or something else was going on there. Maybe he had a lot of college debt or a greedy ex-wife or child support to pay. The last couple of thoughts had my lungs constricting.

“You’re panicking again, doc,” Pike said softly.

Foster lowered his hand. “Cela, if you need to ask more questions, need to know us better before we do this, just say the word. We can go to the bar and talk… or even go home if you want.”

I swallowed past the knot in my throat. What did it matter if he had an ex or even if he had kids? This was not the start of a relationship. This was not a compatibility test. This was sex. A fun, hot diversion before I moved home. I knew I was safe with them, and God knows I was attracted to them. Those were the only must-haves for this type of thing.

I nodded. “I’m okay. Maybe y’all can help me shut off my overanalytical brain.”

Pike grinned. “Challenge accepted.”

He slipped an arm around my waist and gave my hip a squeeze, instantly easing that last coup of my old self.

Foster stopped at the front desk and gave the pretty blonde behind the desk his name. “We’ll need a suite for the night.”

“Absolutely, Mr. Foster,” the woman said in that elegant, library-quiet voice that luxury hotel employees must practice. She tapped on her keyboard with long fingernails, then looked up, taking in the three people standing in front of her. “Two queens?”

“Just a king,” Foster said smoothly.

“Of course.” The woman’s lips pressed together, and her gaze slid over to mine.

I braced for the impact, but where I expected judgment, I found envy in the other woman’s eyes. Huh.

Three key cards appeared on the granite countertop. “You’ll be on the top floor to the right. Is there anything else I can help you with? I’m about to go on break, I could show you to your room if you’d like.”

I heard an extra dose of suggestion in the seemingly innocuous statement, but Foster’s response was swift, his smile painstakingly polite. “No thank you…” He glanced at her nametag. “Tabitha. We have everything we need.”

Foster grabbed my hand and gathered me to his side. “Come on, angel. I have a feeling the view upstairs is going to be fantastic.”

Oh, I had no doubt. The thought of seeing these two naked had crossed my mind so many times, I could paint a detailed portrait of what I imagined was beneath their clothes. But as the elevator loomed in front of us, my conscience niggled at me, urging me to tell the guys the whole truth about my Never Have I Ever list. I hadn’t put anything on that list that wasn’t true. But like any former Catholic school girl knew, lies of omission were just as bad as blatant ones.

The gold doors of the elevator dinged, and Pike took a quick step forward to hold the door open for me and Foster. We slipped into the elevator, and Pike followed, along with an older couple who were deeply involved in their discussion of the symphony they’d seen earlier. As the gray-haired lady tried to convince her husband that the tickets had been worth the price, I pressed my back against the side of the elevator, holding the rail behind me and listening to the warring factions in my head.

Pike glanced down at my tight grip on the rail, then nudged me with his shoulder. “Got a fear of elevators, doc?”

I made a weird sound—some hybrid of a nervous laugh and a snort. Totally attractive no doubt. “Not quite.”

Our ascent slowed, and the doors opened to the other couple’s floor. The lady offered a cursory good-night to everyone, then stepped out with her husband, leaving me alone with the two guys and my thoughts.

Pike stayed where he was, but Foster crossed over to the other side and turned to face me. “Cela, look at me.”

With a sigh, I dragged my gaze upward.

“Tell me what you need from us. I’m not stepping out of this elevator if I think you’re going to be white-knuckling your way through this. I want you to enjoy tonight.”

I held his stare, willing myself to say something, anything. The last thing I wanted to do was go home. But I also couldn’t bring myself to tell him what was knotting me up. Speak, my brain shouted. The loud ding of the elevator was like a clap of thunder in the silence. The doors slid open with a smooth whir.

Foster reached out and pressed the Door Open button but made no other move. Pike glanced at me, questions in his eyes. Neither of them were going to step out until I said something.

I wet my lips, and my throat seemed to narrow. Panic was edging in now that the moment was here. No, no, no. Don’t back out now. I thought back to the cab, the way I’d felt when Foster had touched me, and how he’d taken what he wanted without asking. The shock of that had shut down my brain, had pulled me deep into those minutes and scared off any errant thoughts. It’d just been a taste, but I wanted more of that, more of that free fall.

I forced my fingers off of the bar behind me. If I was going to jump, I couldn’t keep ahold of anything. My eyes stayed focused on Foster, on the commanding set of his jaw. “I had a bad experience the last time I was… with a guy. I fumbled a bit, things were awkward, and he made fun of me. Not in a playful way.”

Anger flared in Foster’s eyes. “What an asshole.”

“And an idiot,” Pike offered.

I gave a little smile. “Definitely. But even knowing it was him who was in the wrong, it’s left me a little gun-shy.”

The door tried to shut, but Foster pressed the button again. “You have to know that we would never disrespect you that way, and I kind of wish I had the address of the jerkoff who did that to you, because I’d like to pay him a visit and teach him some manners. But beyond that assurance, is there anything else you need to feel more comfortable? We can take things as slow as you want.”

I looked up at him again, the rest of the story hovering on my lips. I knew I should spill it. It was the right thing to do. But if I told him the whole truth, it would ruin everything. It wasn’t worth the risk. He said he liked a girl who wasn’t afraid to ask for what she wanted. I could do that. I knew what I hoped for tonight, had heard all I needed to know listening to Foster through my thin wall. Now I just had to say it aloud. I flexed my fingers, trying to shed the nerves. “I don’t want to make any decisions tonight. I need you two to take over. Tell me what to do. I don’t want to be asked each step of the way.”