My Favourite Mistake

“Screw you,” I said before I realized I’d walked right into that one.

“I’d like to.”

“I thought you didn’t screw people you like.” I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He stretched his arms over his head, his shirt riding up and showing just the tiniest bit of lean stomach. I snapped my eyes away quickly. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen it the night before.

“For you, Missy, I’d make an exception.”

I glanced at my phone, but we still had at least fifteen more minutes until class started. The room was nearly full, and the chatter echoed in the acoustically tuned space.

“I was thinking about making dinner tonight. You in?”

What was wrong with him? Seriously, he had to be bipolar. Or he just really, really liked messing with me. Or maybe it was a little of both. I shouldn’t respond.

“What are you making?”

“You tell me what you like and I’ll make it.” His face was set in a smile, but it was different than his cocky smirk. This was more genuine. The smile you’d give a friend if you hadn’t seen them in a while. Open, honest.

“You’d really make what I wanted?”

“Why not?”

There had to be a catch.

“You made me pay for a song, what do I have to do for dinner?”

“Sit next to me while we eat.”

“That’s it?” That couldn’t be it.

“That’s it,” he said, opening his hands.

I narrowed my eyes, trying to root out the catch I knew was there. He just looked at me innocently, which made me want to laugh. I was interrupted by a teaching assistant shoving a stack of syllabi in my hands and telling me to pass them down. I took one and handed the stack to Hunter. Our hands brushed briefly, and I pulled away as fast as I could, grabbing my notebook and writing the date neatly in the corner.

Our teacher was a woman with gray hair who wore a long purple, gauzy top and matching purple pants. She reminded me of someone who had been a hippie and had never really gotten over it. There were a lot of those at UMaine.

She called us to order as the TAs collected the last of the extra syllabi. There were four TAs for such a large class.

Marjorie, she introduced herself as, got her PowerPoint up and running, and took us through her extensive lesson plan, including her personal history and educational credentials, the papers she’d published and the degrees she held. For someone who looked airy-fairy, she certainly had a lot of degrees and accolades. I’d heard nothing but amazing things from other people who had taken the class, and I had to admit the subject matter interested me. How could it not? Sex was interesting.

“I’ll bet you already cracked the textbook open and took copious notes.”

So sue me, I’d skimmed it before class. I was curious about how graphic the diagrams would be. Turned out pretty graphic.

“I’ll bet you’re going to rip the pages out and plaster them on the ceiling,” I whispered back as Marjorie walked back and forth, using one arm to gesture and the other to click through the PowerPoint slides.

“It’s all up here,” he said, tapping his head.

I was facing forward, pretending to be engrossed in the slides. He grinned at me and pulled out a pen, tapping it on his knee one, two, three, four, five times before he paused and started again.

I stole the quickest of quick glances and noticed something else behind his left ear when he moved his head. Looked like another tattoo, but it was so small I couldn’t tell what it was.

The girls behind me yapped the entire class, and I wanted to tell them to shut up but didn’t want to start anything. The room buzzed with the hum of chatter the entire hour and a half. Granted, it would have been impossible to keep that many college students quiet for that long.

Hunter was fidgety the entire class. Whether it was pen tapping or knee jiggling or stretching or twitching. He was like a five-year-old high on cotton candy. I hadn’t noticed him twitching so much the day before, but maybe I just hadn’t been paying attention. But I thought I would have seen him vibrating like he’d had twelve cups of coffee. It was very distracting.

“Are you on speed?” I whispered as Marjorie was going through the grading scale for our homework assignments.

“Huh?”

“Are you on speed? Your knee is going a mile a minute.”

“I’m fine,” he said, leaning over and putting his ankle on his jiggling knee.

He started pen tapping again, and I reached out so he’d stop. My hand connected with his. It was the first time I’d really touched him. My fingers closed over his fist and the tapping stopped. I removed my hand without looking at him.

“Thank you,” I said.

He didn’t respond, but his hand stayed still the rest of the class. When it was time to leave, I was hoping he’d just get up and go, but that didn’t happen, of course. He packed up his things slowly, as if he was waiting for me. I took my sweet time.

“Do you have another class, or is this it for you?”

“I’m done for the day,” I said, standing up.

He followed suit and walked behind me as we left the room. I hated the fact that he was behind me, because he had a full view of my ass as I walked up the stairs. I half expected him to grab it, but he didn’t.

We walked side by side out into the bright sunshine. It was blinding after being in the dark lecture hall.

“Mind if I walk back with you? I don’t have class again until four, so I figured I’d crash for a little while.”

“It’s not like I can stop you. It’s a free sidewalk,” I said, looking left and right before crossing the road. He walked beside me, shortening his stride so he could match my stubby legs.

“True, but if I ask it makes me seem like a nice person.”

“You’re not a nice person,” I said.

He laughed. “You’re right. I’m not.”

He shook his head as if it was the funniest thing ever. It wasn’t, really. Most people wanted other people to like them so they tried and were overly nice. Hunter wasn’t like that. He was what he was and didn’t give a shit if people liked it or not. No matter how crazy he drove me, I had to admire that about him. Sometimes I cared too much what other people thought of me. It must have been freeing to go through life like that.

We didn’t talk much as we walked. At first it was strange, but the more we walked, the easier it was. It was the longest I’d heard Hunter go without a sarcastic comment or sexual innuendo. It was kind of nice.

“So, about dinner,” he said when we walked into the apartment. “What do you want me to make?”

The room was quiet; the other girls must still have been at class.

“You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

I set my bag down and leaned on the counter. Okay, Hunter Zaccadelli, you can make me dinner.

“Stuffed French toast, sweet potato hash and strawberries and cream.”

“Breakfast for dinner? You rebel, you.”

I shrugged. “What can I say? I live on the edge. So, think you’re up to the challenge, Z?” I said, using the ridiculous nickname the bouncer had used last night.

“Piece of cake. Or toast, in your case. I’ll stuff your toast, baby.”

I rolled my eyes. Soon I would be desensitized to his comments, but I hadn’t quite gotten there yet.

“Whatever. I’m going to take a shower. No, you can’t come with me,” I said, cutting off whatever comment he was going to make.

“Anytime you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

Unfortunately, I did.

Six

“How the hell did you do that?” I said, looking at the dining room table. It was spread with mounds of my favorite French toast that was stuffed with oozing Nutella; sweet potato hash that he’d made exactly how I did, despite my vague and confusing-on-purpose instructions; and strawberries that he’d somehow cut and stuffed with the hand-whipped cream. He’d even found champagne and made mimosas.

“I’m a man of many talents. Some of them are hidden. Some are not. Maybe sometime you’ll let me show you some of the hidden ones.” I was too dazzled by the meal to make a snappy comment.

“Holy crap, dude. I didn’t know you could cook,” Renee said, coming out of her room.

Darah had already picked up her job as a desk attendant at the Union and wouldn’t be back until late.

“We should probably eat it before it gets cold. Dig in, ladies,” he said, handing me a plate. There was definitely enough food for about twelve people. “I hope you don’t mind, but I invited Mase over. Dev and Sean might come, too.”

So that was why he’d made so much. I couldn’t really stop him from having his friends over, but I didn’t want our apartment turning into a frat house with beer cans everywhere and strange girls sneaking out in the morning from one-night stands on our couch. Yuck and ew.

“Fine with me,” Renee said, piling her plate with strawberries and cream and only one piece of French toast.

What was it with girls being afraid to eat in front of guys? I’d never had that fear, so I loaded my plate up. Just as I was about to plunge my fork into the French toast and unleash the Nutella-y goodness, there was a knock at the door. I had to hand it to them, at least they hadn’t just barged in.

Hunter opened the door, and Mase and Dev came in.

“What are you making? It smells fantastic,” Mase said, going right for the table full of food.

“I made this on Taylor’s request. She doubted my cooking skills, so I had to show her what I’ve got.”

“You should never doubt Hunter when he brags about something. Most of the time if he’s bad at something, he just won’t talk about it. If he’s bragging, it means he’s telling the truth,” Mase said, grabbing a fork and shoveling French toast onto a napkin.

“Do you want a plate?” I said.

“Nah, I’m good like this. Then you don’t have to wash an extra.”

How considerate. Dev was more cautious, asking me where the plates were and waiting until everyone else had gotten their fill before taking what was left, which wasn’t much. Sean followed suit. There weren’t enough chairs, so we crashed on the couch and the living room floor like we had the night before with the pizza.

Choruses of “oh my God,” “mmm” and “dear sweet Jesus” were interspersed with loud chewing and swallowing. Other than that, the conversation was nonexistent.

Okay, okay, I had to admit it. Hunter hit it out of the park. French toast was one of those foods that seemed easy to make, but was crazy easy to screw up. He’d overstuffed the middle with so much Nutella that it oozed out when I cut it with my fork and dripped down my chin when I bit it. I wiped it off and licked my finger. Hunter was watching me, as if waiting for my reaction.

“It’s okay, I guess,” I said, cutting up another piece and shoving it in my mouth. He raised his eyebrows and took a bite of his own, chewing slowly.

Sweet Christ it was like I’d died and gone to breakfast heaven. I really hoped he wouldn’t use his cooking skills as leverage for sexual favors. For this, I might have to give in.

“I think we need to have a toast,” Renee said, raising her glass. Well, it was really a plastic cup. None of us had brought champagne glasses with us when we moved in. “To hidden talents,” she said.

We all clinked our glasses. Hunter winked when ours met. I wrinkled my nose at him.

“If you guys are going to eat like this every night, I might have to move in,” Mase said. “All we have is microwave popcorn, beer and week-old fried chicken that no one remembers buying.”

I shuddered, as did Renee.

“My ex-boyfriend never stocked his fridge. I always had to bring my own groceries when I stayed over,” Renee said, emphasizing the word ex. As if everyone hadn’t caught it.

“I think it’s a guy thing,” I said.

“Not every guy,” Hunter said.

“Apparently not,” I responded.

My phone vibrated with a text from my mother, and I excused myself to chat with her. Hunter gave me a questioning look, but I hit Call, put the phone to my ear and ignored him.

“Hey, Kid, long time no talk! I thought you were lying in a ditch somewhere,” she said as I settled onto my bed to chat.

“Nope, sorry to disappoint. I’m alive and well. Sorry I haven’t called you. Things have been a little nuts.”

“How did moving in go?”

I gave her a quick rundown. I felt like I needed to record myself telling the story so I could just hit Play when someone asked. I left out a lot when I gave her the mom-version. I didn’t want to worry her. She always worried about me more than Tawny. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was the baby or because of my issues. Perhaps both.

“Oh, no.” She proceeded to urge me to go right down to housing and give them hell. I told her that was what I had done, but I hadn’t gotten anywhere.

“Well, I’m going to call and give them a piece of my mind. That’s ridiculous that they won’t do anything. They’re just being lazy. Hang on,” she said, and I could tell she was putting me on speaker so she could look up the number.

“Mom, it’s okay. I’ll deal. You don’t have to fight the bullies for me.”

“But I’m your mother. I’ll always want to beat the crap out of people who are mean to you.”

“No one was mean to me. It’s fine.” I was beginning to regret telling her. Mom was always trying to make up for not protecting me that one time. She’d been making up for it since I was twelve, and I didn’t know when it was going to end, or at least lower in intensity. I loved her more than I could say, but I didn’t need her to fight my battles for me.

“Are you sure? You know I can make things happen.”

It was true. That woman could talk her way in or out of anything. She had this way of making people believe what she wanted them to. In another life I thought she would have been a lawyer.

“I know you can, and I love you for it. I’ve just gotta deal with it, okay? How about we talk about something else. How’s work?”

She was reluctant to leave the topic but switched for my sake. We chatted for a few more minutes while she told me funny stories about her coworkers at the bank and silly customers who couldn’t understand how to use a debit card. She’d worked her way up at a local bank from teller to manager. I chatted a bit about my classes and told her about my job search. Nothing heavy, nothing serious.

“Your father called today,” Mom said, casting a dark cloud over our chat.

“What did he have to say?”

“Not much. He said he wanted to see you soon.”

He said that every time he called. My parents had gotten divorced when I was thirteen, and he lived in Connecticut now, which wasn’t far enough, in my opinion. He called me every now and then, but I always deleted his voice mails.

“I’m sure he does.”

“You should go and see him. I know he misses you.”

“If he missed me, he’d come to see me.”

“I know, Kid. I know.” She sighed, and I twisted my hair around one finger.

“Listen, I’ll call you this weekend and we can talk more, okay?”

“Okay, Kid. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I hung up and sat back on my pillows, closing my eyes. A soft knock made me sit up. “What do you want?” I knew it would be Hunter. The door cracked open, and he poked his head in.

“Just wanted to let you know the guys are gone, and Renee went to the library to get some reading done, so if you wanted some privacy you didn’t have to hide in here.”

Renee already had massive amounts of reading since she was a nursing major. She also had a sick obsession with gory descriptions of diseases.

“Where are you going to be?” I said.

“Where do you want me to be?” His smirk was back.

“Wherever I’m not,” I said, getting off my bed and pushing past him into the living room. I really didn’t have any homework that had to get done tonight, so I decided to finish the book he’d so rudely distracted me from reading that morning.

I got out my e-reader and folded myself on the couch. I had to use my left hand to hold it because my right was still recovering from the encounter with Hunter’s face. I should probably have put some more ice on it, but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

The kitchen was spotless, the dishes already in the drainer and all other evidence of the breakfast buffet was gone. Guess cleaning was a hidden talent as well. Darah hadn’t had a chance to make our chore chart yet, but I was sure she was on it.

“Do you mind if I play?”

“No, go ahead,” I said, not looking up from my book.

He went to our room and came back with his guitar. I hadn’t really looked at it the day before, but it had definitely been through the ringer. It was black and dinged and scratched all over. He sat in the chair across from the couch and settled the strap around his neck. I kept reading but waited for him to start.

“Requests?”

“I thought I had to pay for them,” I said.

“I’m feeling generous. I’ll give you a few freebies.”

“How generous.” He strummed a chord. I thought about it for a second. “‘Smooth Criminal.’ Either version.”

He looked surprised for a second, and then he started to play. I couldn’t help but groove to the familiar tune. Against my will, my head bopped and my feet twitched. He didn’t sing, but he played the song and that was enough. He was very talented. When the song ended, he continued to strum a transitional tune.

“Next?”

“‘On My Own.’” There was no way he’d know that one. I’d had a brief obsession with musicals in high school and had a minor part in the community theater production of Les Misérables. I’d wanted more than anything to play Eponine, but there were too many other girls who tried out and had been in theater since they were born, so I didn’t get the part. I’d been mildly crushed for at least a month.

“You think you’re going to stump me, but I assure you, I can play pretty much anything,” he said before he launched into a guitar version of the song.

Honestly, I’d thought even if he knew it, he wouldn’t be able to play it on a guitar. I had been proved wrong again. I was still holding my e-reader, but the book wasn’t captivating me as much as Hunter.

He got lost in the music, throwing his whole body into the song. It was like he wasn’t even aware of what he was doing; he was just getting lost in the music. It was beautiful to watch. Hunter played with everything he had and he was good. No, he wasn’t good. He was amazing. Hypnotic. Could this be the same boy who’d said I was fuckable last night?

He abruptly ended the song, placing his hand on the strings so they’d stop vibrating.

“Free request time over. If you want to pay, I’ll continue.”

I could only imagine what he’d take in payment, so I just picked up my book again. After a few minutes, he started again, just picking out random notes and tunes. He’d play a few lines of a song, enough for me to recognize it, and then it would melt into something else.

“Can I ask you something?” I said a half hour later.

“You can ask whatever you want, doesn’t mean I’m going to answer.” He quickly plucked one string.

“Why are you a business major? I’d rather eat glass than admit it, but you have talent.”

“This?” he said, pointing to the guitar. I nodded. “So I can be a starving artist? There are ten thousand guys with guitars who can play.”

“But if you love doing it, then why wouldn’t you?”

“I am doing it. Right now.”

I just wanted a real answer from him. If I was going to be stuck with him for the rest of the week, we might as well get to know each other. He may have been a jerk, but he was an intriguing one. I wanted to know how he’d become the guy he was. You know, before I tossed him out on his ass.

“You know what I mean.” He shrugged and went back to strumming. “Oh, so you shut down when you don’t want to talk. I see how it is,” I said.

“You don’t want to know about me, Taylor. You really don’t. Trust me when I say those things are not worth knowing.”

“I could be the judge of that, I think.”

He gave me a smile, but it was twisted.

“That’s what they all say. Everyone says they want to know you, but they don’t. They want to know the nice things, the pretty things. No one wants to know the ugly parts, the parts that keep you up at night. They say they’re okay with it, but then they drift away and you never see them again. I’ve seen it happen way too many times. Girls don’t want to know that shit.”

“Maybe this one does.”

His smile appeared again. “That’s what they all say,” he repeated.

I decided to give up and went back to my book. He went back to strumming, and we stayed like that until Darah got back at ten-thirty. She seemed shocked to find us in our current positions, but she recovered quickly.

Renee got back a little while later when the library closed, her eyes glazed over from all the medical terminology she’d tried to cram into her brain in just a few hours. I was exhausted from the previous night, so I wanted to turn in early. I made sure to take my damn pill so I wouldn’t wake everyone up with my night terrors. I was already in bed and had my eyes closed when Hunter came in after his shower.

The smell of his clean skin overwhelmed the room, and I tried to pinpoint what it was. It was something similar to wood or cinnamon. Something warm.

I heard him get into bed and slip his boxers off.

“I don’t know if you’re awake or not, but good night, Taylor.”

I decided to pretend I was asleep. He waited for a response, but when I didn’t give one he rolled over and sighed.

“Damn you,” I heard him say under his breath.

Right back atcha.

Seven

I was the first to wake up the next morning. Somehow our blackout curtain had gotten pushed aside, and a crack of sunlight was poking under my eyelids. I opened them and moaned. Stupid sun. I rolled over and checked the clock. It wasn’t even seven yet. Why had I woken up? Then I heard a voice.

Hunter was talking in his sleep, just like he’d said he would.

“No, I don’t think so,” he said. It was hard to make out what he was saying because his back was to me and he was mumbling. Figuring I probably wasn’t going to get back to sleep, I turned so I could see him.

“Don’t. Stop it. Put it down.” His voice was calm, but his words were not. He seemed to be having a nightmare. Guess I wasn’t the only one.

“Please don’t.” His voice had a hint of tears in it. I wondered if I should wake him up. He tossed in his sleep, throwing his covers about. I didn’t have time to shut my eyes, but luckily his blanket covered strategic places. It was also still pretty dark. Even still, it showed enough. His back was to me, and I saw yet another tattoo in the middle of his back.

“Stop!” he said louder.

I got out of bed and stumbled over. Maybe I could poke him and get back into bed quick enough so he wouldn’t notice. I shoved his shoulder, but he moved so fast that I stumbled and nearly fell on top of him. A hand lashed out at me, and I had to duck to avoid it.

“Hunter! Wake up!” It was déjà vu. I hoped this wouldn’t become a pattern.

A strong, warm hand grabbed my shoulder, and his eyes flew open. He gasped, as if he didn’t know where he was. His grip relaxed.

“Hey, it’s okay. You just seemed upset.”

He glanced at his hand on my shoulder as if it didn’t belong to him. He let go and pushed away from me.

“Go back to bed,” he said.

“Are you okay?”

“Go. Back. To. Bed.” His teeth were gritted, and he looked like he was angry that I’d woken him. My bad.

“Sorry,” I said before stepping away and crawling back into bed.

He breathed heavily and rolled back over. I didn’t go back to sleep, and I could tell he didn’t either. A half hour later I heard him get up and put his boxers and a T-shirt on. I pretended I was asleep. A little while later I heard low voices in the kitchen. Deciding it was about time, I got up and went to find some breakfast.