Confession… A fairy tale in the style of sentimental cynicism

In fact, we are on “you” with her, including the rules of psychological conversation. But, given the importance of the moment on the one hand, and the undoubted irony, and the stupidity of the situation in which I found myself with my lofty reasoning and gaps in secondary education, it is this ironic appeal of “YOU” seems to me the most appropriate.

Ah, I am an old jackass; I forgot elementary zoology for the 7th grade. Well, of course, pupa, how I could forget. Now everything has finally fallen into place. It is so simple. It is at this stage that I am now. My caterpillar died in all senses, except perhaps physical existence. It happened at the very moment when the cup of my boundless happiness was overflowing. That is how, probably, life should end in all senses suddenly and irrevocably at the very peak. Quite so a fighting fighter breaks into a tailspin from the highest point at the very moment when the force of gravity becomes stronger than the power of any super powerful engine.

– Linger, still linger, beautiful illusions, – Wolfgang von Goethe exclaimed, apparently, when also understood this.

And it was this unknown force that led Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin to the Black River on the very take-off. Apparently, his caterpillar has fully fulfilled its function in this world. However, Alexander Sergeevich is a unique phenomenon; his pupa lasted only about two days from the time of the duel to death, because the soul of his caterpillar was already perfect.

Following the logic of these two outstanding historical examples, all people go through all these three necessary stages. The brightest reason for the onset of the pupal stage is the highest achievement in the spiritual sphere, that is, creativity in any of its manifestations, the next is the peak in the sphere of feelings (my case), well, further downward, until reaching a limit in milk or sugar consumption, which I mentioned earlier. That is about I thought, after all, I am on the second sensual, and not at the creative level, and my pupa is given a chance to move to the highest level. Therefore, I will try to justify the high trust shown to me. Then the issue is for the small, if at least anybody will react otherwise than indifferently when reading this text. And it does not matter at all whether my pupa will still be alive in the physical sense at that moment.

15 cents from Eugene.

About the perfection and maturity of the soul, I agree with Alex completely and think this question is important and irrefutable. But, nevertheless, here I want, if not argue with him, then although would contribute some refinements. Because there is something, in my opinion, even more important than the maturity and perfection of the definite soul. This is the second and, again, in my opinion, more significant side of this immense issue. This question is so immense that it seems to me that it can be a separate topic in a separate book (research). So now, we will touch on this issue slightly and as thesis. And this second aspect is in the following. The fact is that the caterpillar in addition to growing and nurturing a butterfly inside itself fulfills another very important function. It is the improvement of the environment. That is the environment at the entrance of a new caterpillar and at its exit in the form of a pupa are two different environments. At that, as you can see, the new environment at the output of the caterpillar should be more perfect. But why? Because the caterpillar, developing and improving its butterfly at the same time improves the surrounding world. What for? Yes, to all the following caterpillars would come to an increasingly perfect world, and the development of new butterflies would be more effective and at a higher level. That is such a self-regulating interconnected system.

In addition and in order it would be clear regarding the importance of each caterpillar for the perfection of the environment, I will explain with one example. Try to remove some caterpillar from the history of the world around us, and you will understand everything at once. And in order this understanding to be “weighty, rough, visible,” we will take not just a caterpillar, but a caterpillar of an outstanding personality, which Alex has already mentioned. Imagine the world around us, but only without Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. It, this world, will immediately shrink and dull. I even imagine how it can physically look, that is, as, for example; we see how the bulb dims in a thunderstorm in the country cottage when the voltage drops. Together with the world around us, we will also cringe and fade, and our future butterflies immediately will lose a lot.

That is, the system turns out to be really closed and interconnected. Each caterpillar contributes to the improvement of the environment, and the environment helps to bring up new perfect butterflies.

In addition, one more thing, butterfly, when it comes time to part, must thank the caterpillar. I am well imagining how this will happen for my caterpillar. To do this, there is a special room for farewell next to the entrance to the tunnel leading to eternity (other world). For myself, I have already come up with a program of this farewell. The program has five points, and each of them is mandatory:

• A Glass of Hennessy X. O.

• Spoonful of Beluga caviar with a slide.

• The first Chapter of “Eugene Onegin” performed by Sergei Yursky alive.

• The song Stumblin’ In performed by Susie Quatro and Chris Norman necessarily from their first performance 1978.

• Repetition of sex July 27, 20….

Ode to Black Caviar and the Laws of ASIwP

Let me tell you what I know about black caviar. For me, caviar is comparable to sex and even for two reasons. The first is that there was a lot of sex and caviar in my life. Second, and probably the main, that I understand a little about both. To make it clear what it means “I understand a little”, I will try to explain it on the example of black caviar. For example, in relation to black caviar, the technologist at the factory for the production of black caviar with thirty years of experience is ideally versed in it. He probably does not even need to taste it. He may with one look and smell from a distance of three meters to tell what the quality of this caviar. Of course, so I cannot, but I am not a professional, but only an advanced Amateur, or as in modern language User.

There are many such examples in any field. In each area, there are experts who will clearly define the main features that characterize the highest level. I play a little badminton (in sports hall, of course), i.e. I am not an expert here, but I am able to assess the highest level. This is, for example, when the world champion, standing on one side of the site methodically sends the shuttlecocks one by one through the net into the tube for the shuttlecocks with a probability of hitting 99%. Tube is with a diameter of 6 cm and stands vertically in the middle of the opposite ground at a distance of 6—7 meters.

If we talk about sex, it is impossible to surprise anyone here, and in the life of any normal person sex is a lot. Another thing is that by a strange coincidence, caviar in my life was also a lot, and because of this, I consider myself an expert and connoisseur in this field. Besides, I, and apparently not the only one, believe black caviar, as well as sex is one of the highest pleasures in life. Please note, we are talking not about ordinary black caviar and not about ordinary sex, but about one and about another of the highest quality.

A little remark, to read further makes sense if the words “bad sex” and “bad black caviar” do not cause you bewilderment and rejection.

The one and another, occupying, one of the top steps in gradation existing enjoyments can be bad, middle and of highest quality. About caviar in this sense, it is more difficult to talk about than about sex, because it is possible to talk about the quality of black caviar, probably, only in a rather limited audience. I suddenly thought, what if we gather in one place all the people on the criterion of experts in black caviar to discuss its merits. It will be a strange mixture of the personable kind of men in tuxedos, mostly elderly and signs of well-being and wealth in all their appearance and young beautiful, I would even say, unacceptably beautiful girls and women in wonderful evening gowns on the one hand, and the other… On the other hand, this public will be represented by men with weathered tanned faces and often with drunk faces in fishing clothes or just in some rags. The first part of the public is millionaires or just rich famous people: politicians, businessmen, top managers, highly paid actors and athletes, as well as those who can first of all share with them the happiness of enjoying the taste of black caviar: it is their wives, mistresses and girlfriends, sometimes disposable. Although no, disposable girlfriends we exclude, for one time you can get a pleasure from black caviar, but it is impossible to become an expert and connoisseur. The second part of the audience is poachers of different types which are interspersed with a small number of people in the uniform of water militia (not police, I mean the past). All these people could really argue about the quality and taste of black caviar.

***

…Buying black caviar for the New Year is quite a separate and entertaining story and it is reasonable to give a few words on it. For some time, I began to pay attention to the fact that the Internet is literally littered with offers of selling the caviar. It looks like the caviar is the most popular and demanded product today. However, I do not risk trusting in this important issue to the Internet. First, it is because of my age and already some conservatism. Second, and perhaps most important, it is absolutely unacceptable to entrust the solution of such an important issue to a system that cannot convey neither taste nor smell of the product. Although, in accordance with the trends of modern time I, of course, use the Internet when buying goods, products and services. But at the same time in my, as, indeed, many other people, online shopping practice there were a couple of cases when in fact I received by the Internet delivery absolutely not what I wanted. At the same time, I do not even take cases of outright fraud, which are present in abundance on the Internet just want to say that for the choice of the product by its image and even by the most high-quality image, and even more so edible product of eyesight, as the only sense organ, it is not enough. In order to fully understand what you are buying, and not to make a mistake, all the sense organs should be involved. Even if you buy simple sneakers for five hundred rubles, you need at least to feel how they fit on the foot, and even more so if we are talking about a product that costs as minimum a dollar per gram. In addition, two more points. Oddly enough, the Internet caviar prices are not the lowest, and besides on the Internet the purchase procedure is a trivial process: order-delivery-payment. And buying caviar in the wholesale market turns into a sacrament and a solemn procedure of pre-NYE YEAR preparation.

Yes, about the last ten years I have been buying black caviar for the New Year in one the same place, from well-known already to me owner of the fish pavilion in the wholesale market. I have here several undeniable bonuses and advantages. First, despite the fact that I buy caviar there a maximum two times a year, I have long been listed as his VIP client, and have the appropriate privileged attitude in full, which undoubtedly flatters my ego. In addition, I understand that the seller sees in me if not a professional, then, in any case, an advanced user, and accordingly respects this my status. Therefore, every buying process becomes, in some sort, the little match of professionals. Seeing me in the General queue (for the New Year the queue for delicacies is obvious), the owner delicately takes me aside, and making sure that the black caviar and this time included in my food basket, leads me further into a small niche behind the fridge, where there is a small table for testing the product. And here the most important mystery begins. It is clear that the purchase procedure includes a mandatory test of my professionalism, a kind of annual certification as a connoisseur of black caviar. As with the wave of a magic wand from somewhere in the bowels of the pavilion first half-kilo jar appears, of course, of the standard state sample. Meanwhile the owner without fail informs me place of origin. All the main places of origin of caviar are known. As a rule, caviar by origin can be Astrakhan, Dagestan, Azerbaijani, Kazakh, Turkmen, Khazar and Iranian. However, sometimes there are more exotic variants, such as Israeli, Ukrainian or Siberian. The only one of possible I have not yet met Chinese caviar, although I know for sure that it exists. About Israel and Khazar caviar I will notice separately. When I first saw Israeli caviar, of course, I was very surprised and checked on the Internet. It turns out that Israel is now one of the first places in the world for the production of black caviar. Sturgeon there respectively bred in ponds and, apparently, more than fifteen years, because just this period is necessary for the female sturgeon to reach sexual maturity. My fellow, a lawyer in the specialty, living in Israel, then confirmed this information by. A few more words about the Khazar caviar. This name does not exist in nature, and we use it here for reasons of tolerance and political correctness. Because it is not necessary to offend the whole Nation, if on its territory and its representatives carried out (I hope very much that I can talk about it in the past time) one of the most heinous environmental barbarities in history. Perhaps we will dwell on this issue a little later in the paragraph about the Volga hydroelectric power station named after the XXII Congress of the CPSU.

The procedure of caviar testing begins. The seller carefully removes the fixing gum, opens the jar so as not to disturb the shape of the layer of caviar rising above the edges of the jar, and with the help of a plastic spatula a few eggs are caught by an experienced hand. Exactly one gram, that is, respectively, on the dollar. Also, slowly and carefully he passes the spatula with eggs to me. I also solemnly and slowly accept from his hands a spatula and wise these several eggs in my mouth. It is clear that this is the first jar that the seller presents to me for expert evaluation, of the worst and cheapest. Although, the fact is not one hundred percent exact because this test is not only caviar, but also me, as an expert. In any case, regardless of my real opinion about this first sample, I, after a minute savoring and for the testing procedure to continue, just have to curl my lips and reproachfully look at the seller.

– You mock me, my dear, – my eyes and twisted lips express. To speak it is not necessary, everything is so clear, – Why do you propose me some shit? Give me the real product.

He carefully closes and seals the first jar and pulls out, and opens the next. It already costs one or two thousand rubles more. However, it can cost the same, but another manufacturer. One by one, I test 4—5 five cans. Accordingly, during the testing I have eaten caviar for four or five dollars. The testing procedure is over, the most important moment of truth and the final choice comes. Accordingly, I make this choice. The easiest way to choose the most expensive jar, exactly you would not be mistaken, the difference from the lower price will be up to five thousand in increasing. More often, I do just this way, but sometimes I stop at the intermediate version, relying entirely on my taste buds and sense of smell. Finally, the choice is made and the jar is postponed. After that, a few more fish and crab delicacies are sent to the shopping cart, and then the total calculation is made. When I hear the final amount, my eyes indignantly rounded, it is also included in the bidding procedure. The seller, following the law of the transaction, adds to the food basket as a bonus another delicacy, of those that I wanted to buy, but for some reason did not dare. After all this the final bargain already comes, as a result of which I try to recapture another three to four thousand rubles, that is about ten to fifteen percent, but we usually agree on half of the requested discounts and satisfied with ourselves we part with the best congratulations and wishes for at least six months. These greetings and best wishes are very simple and concise, and include the following:

– My friend, we have not met exactly a year, but as we can see, in our status for this year, nothing has changed for the worse. Therefore, I wish both of us to meet here in one more year and on the same occasion.

That is, in this case, the very caviar itself is the determinant of a certain prosperous life status and success.

***

If I am allowed to express my opinion, I would like to say the following. Despite all the barbarity of catching sturgeon, the damage caused by poaching then is not comparable in scale with the damage caused to the environment and in particular to sturgeons by construction of the Volga HPP, as it was then named after the XXII Congress of the CPSU. On this example, very well it is visible that in our country in General it is accepted to blame with a sick head on healthy. For centuries sturgeons caught in the Volga and nothing, ecology was not broken. And when as a result of construction of hydroelectric power station, the sturgeon population began to rapidly decrease, they quickly found who was guilty of this – the poachers.

Here, however, there is one remark, because it was the turn of my promised earlier the story about the Khazar caviar.

Here, my opinion is quite the opposite and concerns the large-scale and most importantly sanctioned and legalized barbaric poaching by the state. I immediately make a reservation, in order not to be accused of libel that I tell not about today, but about the Soviet times, and at the same time, I hope that today at least something has changed for the better. At the same time, I simply state what everyone knows, at least, in the Volga region. It all began with the fact that The Khazar Khanate, which historically had no access to the Volga River, suddenly and unexpectedly, got 12 kilometers of the coastline of the great river. I was never able to find on the Internet who of our leaders made this generous gift to Khazars. In any case, it is either Sergeevich or Ilyich. However, based on my own memories, as well as on the obvious corruption and criminal component of the donation process, it was still Ilyich. Yes, judging by the sophistication of the deal, of course, Ilyich, perhaps, Sergeevich is too simple for that. This decision is in its Jesuit essence comparable to the most famous vile acts in human history, and in the history of the destruction of ecology, it can claim one of the first places. You can ask why. Yes, just because by the granting to this very Khanate the access to the Volga River was immediately death sentence imposed to the entire population of sturgeon. That is such a tragedy of far from being local importance. The basis of this death verdict was the fact that the Khanate was granted not just access to the river, but the entire river from shore to the opposite shore for 12 kilometers length. That is, the Khazars had already became the full masters of these twelve kilometers, and they already could do there all that they wanted. We must pay tribute to the then leadership of the Khanate; they behaved like the most outright timeservers. The most barbarian poaching lawlessness of the regional authorities began on this site of the river. In addition, in order all the other inhabitants remained silent, seeing this lawlessness, they also tacitly were allowed to engage in poaching. That is poaching in all kinds on these twelve kilometers was not halted in any way. The only thing that was strictly controlled, it was unauthorized and illegal transportation of caviar outside the Khanate. It was the exclusive privilege of the authorities. Although, in passing, I note that to provide absolute control over the movement of the caviar in the boundless Khazars steppes task is in principle impossible.

15 cents from Eugene.

Here, perhaps, we should pay attention to one principle on which there is a higher bureaucracy. Alex noted this principle in the text about lawlessness in the Khazar Khanate. This is when the authorities steal, but at the same time turn a blind eye to the fact that everyone else, following power’s example, also start stealing. Of course, the scale of theft in the first and in the second case are incommensurable. However, the fact is that both the power in the person of officials, and the people are engaged in the same, steal from themselves. I would call this principle the Principle of distribution of guilt. This is the basic principle on which our state exists. It turns out that the bureaucrat who stole a million dollars and the hard worker who sneaked off a hundred dollars in production are tied by the same principle. And it turns out that the hard worker has no reason to grumble at his share and accuse the powers that be in the acquisitiveness. Because he also has a finger in the pie.

All the tackles of Volgograd and Astrakhan poachers, of which I spoke above, just childish pranks compared to what was going on in this twelve-kilometer-long section of the river. If the Volga hydroelectric power station just blocked the sturgeons the opportunity to reproduce, the Khazars had already begun to wage the total war of annihilation with the sturgeon population on the subordinate territories. Huge bottom fishing nets blocked the Volga River from one Bank to the opposite, and fishes already in principle could not pass through this site up on the river, and simply were caught completely. As a result, while the general catastrophic decline of sturgeon population, above this section of river the sturgeon, in the river did not remain at all except for a small sterlet. Here, by the way, I can sympathize with the Volgograd poachers. Because we survived to the point that as a poacher’s delicacy in the Hero city it is already sold sterlet caviar. Idiocy triumphs! In the history of the Great River, this has never happened. A little more and we will begin to produce the caviar from the aquarium guppies.

It is clear that such lawlessness was possible only because of close and mutually advantageous cooperation of the Khazar governors with the highest echelon of the power and most likely in their General interests. In those days there was a high-profile criminal case connected with illegal sale of black caviar abroad under the guise of sardines in tomato sauce. It seems, someone from the Ministers and leadership of the trade network “Ocean” were convicted. However, all these are pawns in a big game. It seems to me that lawlessness in the Khazar Khanate is one of the links in this great Scam. And the scale of the Scam shows one thing, it was organized at the very top.

Still a small remark on the same subject. In the nineties, my wife and I in pedagogic purposes sent 10 thousand rubles (those cheap) on behalf of and with the participation of our son to the Fund for the protection of wild animals on rescue of the Amur leopard, and then for fifteen years we were receiving letters of thanks from the Fund. Each time we received these letters, we all felt part of a great cause. I think the Fund spent a lot more money on these letters than ten thousand. Well, but that is not what I am speaking about now. I have another question, why we so selflessly try to save Far Eastern tigers and leopards, but at the same time conduct systematic deliberate war of extermination, a relict species, a contemporary of the dinosaurs.

By the way, I thought, that it was very easy to calculate the economic benefit or damage from the construction of HPP against the background of Khazar lawlessness and the simultaneous destruction of the population of sturgeons. The amount of electricity generated by the HPP during its existence is known. The question is easy, it is necessary to calculate how much profit was lost from the possible production and sale of caviar during the existence of the HPP. Let only the ichthyologists will determine the size of the population of sturgeon in the year of start of hydroelectric power station operation and possible volume of annual production of sturgeon and sale of black caviar, including abroad, for all these years. The price of caviar, let me remind you, is known, about one dollar per gram.