Falling Again For Her Island Fling

‘I need to inspect the reef,’ Meena said, checking her list. ‘Many of the ones nearby have suffered from coral bleaching or damage from boats, and my initial look showed that these reefs appeared to be suffering similarly. At the very least we would need to do any remedial work before building is approved and make a plan for how it can be protected from further human damage. My other main concern is the turtle population. I saw tracks on the beach that indicate there may be a nesting site. We need to wait out the incubation period to see what, if anything, hatches, and to ensure that increased use of the beach won’t impact on breeding or migratory patterns.’

He nodded, wondering how much time this was all going to take. But these were details, and he was no longer the details guy. He was the money and he was the vision. One of the joys of being the boss of your own multi-billion-dollar resort business was letting someone else worry about the bloody turtles.

‘I’m sure your report will be fine, Miss Bappoo. Just submit your findings to my office and someone will be in touch.’

He turned away from her but then stopped, his feet halting in the sand. Was this it? Was it all finally going to end with a glib remark about turtles? With Meena having no idea that they had met before today? He turned back and looked at her. Really looked. He saw pink rise in her cheeks at his unmasked appraisal of her.

Seven years. That was how long it had been since he had seen her. And yet he couldn’t see any sign of it on her face. Her cheeks, rosy beneath the warm bronze-brown of her skin, were still the smooth apples that he remembered. Her eyes were as golden and as full of challenge as they had been then.

What would she think of him, he wondered, if she remembered the man—boy—he had been? Would she find him much changed? His body was no softer—he had worked hard to ensure that. His heart, however, was harder—she was responsible for that. He shook his head. That wasn’t fair. He couldn’t entirely blame her for the way he had behaved after they had broken up. He had to carry that alone.

He held her gaze for a moment longer. He needed to know that she had seen him—really seen him. To give her one last chance to recognise him. To remember.

The blush faded from her cheeks as he refused to look away and her expression changed. He didn’t know her well enough any more to guess what she was thinking. But in that moment it wasn’t indifference. Curiosity, maybe. Desire. Did he want that? Would this feel better if she wanted him? If he was the one to walk away this time? Probably not, he conceded.

Anyway, those wounds had healed a long time ago, he told himself. He didn’t need them to be reopened. ‘So, goodbye, then,’ he said, and turned from her, walking back towards his speedboat, knowing this would be the last time that he saw her. It had to be.

CHAPTER TWO

‘COME IN.’

Guy glanced at the schedule on the computer monitor; he wasn’t expecting a meeting and the knock on the door had taken him by surprise. In fact, he hadn’t been expecting still to be on the island at all, but the search for a replacement project manager was proving to be more difficult than he had hoped. He’d already delayed his departure from the island by a fortnight, and the replacement that he’d hired couldn’t fly out for another week at the earliest. Guy was going to have to get the environmental permissions he needed before he could get back to Sydney. Whoever was at the door had better be quick. He had three days’ worth of work to do that evening. The last thing he needed was an unscheduled five o’clock meeting.

In the promotional brochures he’d had mocked up, he’d billed his island as paradise. But most of what he’d seen of the country in the last two weeks was the inside of its government buildings and his air-conditioned office. He could have been in the offices of any of his corporate buildings for all he’d seen of the local environment.

The door opened and he glanced up; his body registered her presence before his brain did. Before her name formed on his lips, his heart was beating wildly in his chest and there was a tightness, low in his belly, that seemed a response unique to being close to her.

‘Meena, what are you doing here?’

Way to play it cool, he chastised himself, angry that she still had that hold over him, the ability to make him say what he was thinking without any regard for whether it was a good idea. When they’d been younger, it had felt like a blessing: their mutual honesty helping them past the barrier of dive instructor and pupil. Past the social conventions of a conservative culture and into the realms of something much more personal.

‘Your environmental reports,’ she replied, her brow furrowed into a curious expression. ‘I emailed them over to Dev and he told me you’d want me to come and talk through my findings in person.’

‘And why is that?’ he asked, wondering why his assistant had thought that another meeting would be the way to cap off today. ‘Never mind. Just give me the highlights.’ He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. The last thing this project needed was more delays.

‘Well, the headline is, I’m not giving the approval for your permits.’

Guy sighed, leaned forward again, rested his elbows on his desk and gestured towards the chair opposite, inviting her to take a seat.

‘Why not? What’s the problem?’

She crossed to his desk and laid out the paperwork in front of him. ‘The main problem right now is that the reef won’t withstand an increase in boat traffic or sedimentation from the building work. There’s been extensive bleaching and it needs to be stabilised and then an ongoing regeneration plan put in place.’

He gritted his teeth. Ongoing. ‘Ongoing’ wasn’t a word he wanted to hear in the context of this development, and not from Meena of all people.

‘Anything else?’

‘There’s still no sign of hatchlings from the possible turtle nesting site. We need to wait out the incubation period and see what we’re dealing with before I could give the go-ahead.’

‘How much time are we looking at?’

‘A couple more wee—’

‘Unacceptable,’ he interrupted. ‘This needs to be wrapped up within a week maximum, Miss Bappoo. I can’t leave the island until they’re done, and I need to get back to Sydney.’

‘With all due respect, that isn’t for you to say,’ she replied, crossing her arms. ‘This will take as long as it takes. It’s not something you hurry. It’s not something you can hurry. This is my call.’

He looked at her, assessing. Was she doing this on purpose? he wondered. Because of their past? And then he had to remind himself that she didn’t even remember their past. She wasn’t angry with him. She didn’t feel anything for him. He envied her ignorance. He wished that he could see this as she undoubtedly did: a simple business matter with no personal feelings involved.

‘That’s not good enough,’ he stated, leaning back in his chair.

She mirrored him, implacable. He remembered that look and he knew that it meant that there was no changing her mind. ‘Unfortunately for you, your feelings on the matter aren’t a criterion in my report.’

He shook his head. A standoff wasn’t going to get them anywhere fast. Cooperation was the only way that he was going to get this project moving again. ‘Tell me what I can do to make this happen faster.’

He saw his more relaxed demeanour soften her. ‘You can stop asking questions like that for a start,’ Meena said. ‘Faster isn’t the aim here; environmental conservation is. I’m not letting this island come to harm because you want to throw your hotel up faster.’

‘I’m not throwing anything,’ he retorted. ‘And you say that like you think I want to cause harm. I don’t; that’s why you’re here.’

‘Good to know. I’ll note it in the report.’

He paused. ‘Meena, I...’

She was doing all this to protect the island. Their island. The tiny speck of sand and rock in the Indian Ocean. Could it be that she remembered it? That that was why she was being so fiercely protective of it? The thought warmed him somewhere deep but he shook off the feeling. That wasn’t what this was about. She didn’t remember him. She didn’t remember anything about who they had been to each other.

‘Look,’ Guy said. ‘I want this application to go through and I have no interest in doing any harm to Le Bijou,’ he lied. ‘Tell me what I need to do to make that happen.’

She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. ‘You really want to do this right?’

He nodded. ‘I really do.’

‘Then you need a marine biologist on your team once building starts. Someone to ensure you are considering environmental impacts at every stage. You need short-term and long-term sustainability plans, and someone to hold you to account.’

He gave an ironic smile. ‘You seem to be doing a pretty good job of that.’

‘For now.’ She smiled back. ‘But my job’s done when the reports are completed. This island needs a permanent guardian.’

‘You’re right. And you’re perfect for the job.’

As he said the words he knew that it was true. Much as he hated to admit it, she would be the perfect person to make sure that the island was protected through the building of the resort, and after. And once his new project manager started he would be gone and he wouldn’t have to see her again. If this was what it took to get the permits approved, he would do it. He could see from her face that she was surprised by the offer nonetheless.

‘I have a job,’ she said abruptly.

‘True.’ He shrugged. ‘But here’s the offer of another. Because you’re right. An in-house marine biologist should always have been a part of the plan. I think this offer shows how serious I am about getting these permits. Your report proves you know what you’re doing. And you love the island.’ He knew what love looked like on her. He had seen it before. He remembered lying on that beach, seeing her look at him and knowing—knowing—that she loved him. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve it then. He knew that he didn’t deserve it now.

Which was why it was such a spectacularly bad idea to offer her the job. He should be putting as much distance between them as he could right now. Not creating yet another bond.

It was fine, he reminded himself. As soon as he had a replacement project manager in place, he would be leaving this island and not coming back. In his headquarters in Sydney, he would have no more contact with Meena than with thousands of his other employees and contractors. She wouldn’t be his problem any more. Wouldn’t be in his life any more.

‘I’ll have to think about it,’ she replied slowly, as if looking for the catch in his offer.

She could do a lot for Le Bijou as the resident marine biologist, Meena acknowledged, turning Guy’s job offer over in her mind. She had done a lot of good when she had worked at another resort before her accident, she reminded herself, educating holidaymakers and divers about the local area and how to dive without impacting the coral reefs. She had even started a programme of coral regeneration with newlyweds, planting out coral, something that would carry on growing long after the honeymoon was over.

She could do the same at Le Bijou, she thought, if she took up Guy’s job offer. She could stay on the island. Do her best for it. Protect it as best she could once the works were completed and the worst of the damage had been done.

Perhaps damage limitation was all she could do. Guy owned Le Bijou, and it was going to change. Her sanctuary. It just wouldn’t exist any more. Not in the way that she wanted—needed—it to.

But something made her hesitate before telling Guy that she wanted the job. Working with Guy, specifically, made her hesitate.

She’d thought a lot about men the last few years. A lot about specifically what sort of man would make her fall for him. She knew she wouldn’t have slept with someone she didn’t love. Last she remembered, she had been a virgin planning to wait until she was married, as was expected of her. And then she was waking from a coma, finding out that she had been pregnant, and the only clues she had to her mystery boyfriend were notes she’d found months after she had finally left the clinic, scribbled in French on the back of a dive planner.

I love you. I can’t wait to see you again. Meet me at our beach.

She had wondered ever since then who he could have been. Who her type was. What sort of man she had fallen in love with.

And now here was Guy and the strange sense of déjà vu she felt around him. It was probably just his accent, she thought. The twang of his Australian vowels that was so familiar from her scholarship year studying there. That was what was giving her this strange feeling, she decided. There was no way that Guy was her mystery boyfriend. The way that he looked at her was so cold, so impersonal, it couldn’t possibly be him.

Which made the dreams she had been having about him all the stranger. They felt so vivid, so real. She had touched him. Smelled him. Tasted him. In her sleep last night she had run her fingertips over every part of his body and then followed them with her tongue. He had spanned her waist with his hands, cupped the curve of her hip and her buttock, teased her with his lips.

All of which was making this meeting extremely awkward.

She risked another glance up at him, but his eyes were still fixed on his computer screen.

‘I want to know what working with you will mean.’

‘I’m glad you’re considering it.’ He didn’t look as if he thought it was great. Considering he’d made the offer in the first place, he looked as if he didn’t want her there at all. Well, it was too late. She’d been thinking about Le Bijou. What it would mean to stand guard over it. However awkward things got with Guy.

‘Are you sure we haven’t met before?’

She wasn’t really aware of thinking the question before it popped out of her mouth. He was just so...unsettling. He unnerved her. And she couldn’t help thinking that there must be a reason he had this effect on her. Must be a reason why her body reacted to him every time that he was close. A reason her heart was racing and her palms were sweating.

Was it you? Her mind jumped to the familiar question. Did you love me? Did I carry your baby? Lose your baby?

He sighed, looked up and made eye contact with her for the first time since she had walked into the room.

‘What period of time are you missing memories from?’ he asked. ‘I’ve only visited St Antoine once before.’

She told him the date of her accident, and that she didn’t remember the three months before, wondering at the change in his demeanour.

‘I was here then,’ he said. ‘My parents own the Williams resort on the mainland. I was staying there for the summer.’

‘But I worked there!’ Meena exclaimed. ‘I was working at the dive school before my accident. It was the summer after I got back from Australia,’ she added, realising she’d never mentioned to him that connection. Was this the reason for his strangeness? For the strange familiarity she felt around him? Would she have mentioned that if she’d bumped into an Australian guest? Would she have struck up a conversation about that common link?

‘So maybe I have seen you before, or maybe we spoke back then? I’m sorry,’ she added, realising she was speaking out loud. ‘It’s just, it’s hard, having this gap in my memories. It makes me question myself. Question what I know, you know?’

Of course he didn’t know. How could he? How could anyone know what it felt like to live in a body and a mind that didn’t fully belong to them?

‘Maybe we did meet.’ Guy shuffled some papers on his desk, not looking at her. ‘I went to the dive school when I was here before. Maybe we crossed paths.’

‘But you don’t remember? You don’t remember me?’ It was clear from the way that he had turned back to his work that he was ready for this meeting to be over. But it had been so long since she had had any new information about that time that she couldn’t let this drop, no matter how annoying Guy seemed to be finding her.

Just once in her life, she wanted a straightforward answer. No, scratch that. Once in her life she wanted to know the answer to questions about her life herself, without relying on near strangers to fill in the gaps. But as that didn’t seem to be an option, no matter what she or her medical team had tried, she would have to settle for getting answers from someone else. For trusting other people to paint this picture of who she had been.

‘I don’t remember you,’ Guy said, looking back at his screen. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘No need to be sorry.’ Meena shrugged, tried to cover her disappointment. No answers, again. No reason for why she felt this strange familiarity around Guy. For him and for Le Bijou.

‘Get in touch with Dev about the details of the new job, if you want to consider it. And keep him updated with your progress on the environmental reports. If there’s nothing else...’

It was clear she was being dismissed.

‘Okay, great.’ She forced professionalism back into her voice. ‘Well, I’m going to go have another look at the reef tomorrow. To see if there is any way that its decline can be reversed, or at least halted. If you want to come and see for yourself, you would be welcome.’

Guy glanced up at her, meeting her gaze again. Maybe this was why he avoided it, Meena thought, as she felt her cheeks warm under his scrutiny. Maybe he could see the effect he had on her when he turned his full attention on her like that. No wonder he didn’t want to encourage it.

‘I’ll see what I can do. But I have a very full week.’

Did he remember her? Only every night in his dreams, in waking moments when his mind wandered, and for a moment he was back there, the sun and her lips on his body once again. He remembered everything.

And it broke him, almost daily now.

Because whatever, wherever they were now, they were never going to get that back. What they had had back then had been beautiful. It had been pure. It had been innocent. And then the darkness in his heart when he’d thought that she had abandoned him had sullied it. And that simply couldn’t be undone.

He must have been broken before he had even met her, for that rot to have set in and cause the damage that it had.

If he told her what they had shared, what would she think of that? What could she take from it? Worst-case scenario, she would want to try to turn back time. To see what had brought them together then. To see if it still existed.

She had lost all the time that they had been together. He had spent three months on this island, ostensibly getting to know his family’s resort on the St Antoine mainland as preparation for a formal role in the company. But in truth he had spent most of it getting to know Meena. His parents hadn’t even been disappointed when they’d realised how little work he’d done that summer. As if they’d been expecting his failure all along. It was so easy to disappoint them, he realised, when they had such low expectations of him.

Meena thought that she wanted to know him, but she was wrong. The only possible outcome was her getting hurt, and he could spare her that at least.

Of course, his heart had hurt when he’d seen how lost she was without those memories. And he could fix that, he knew. He could tell her everything, and she wouldn’t have to worry and guess at what had happened in those months.

But would that help her, really? To know that she had been in love with a man who didn’t exist any more? No, it was kinder to say nothing, he told himself. Kinder—and safer—that she never knew what they had once had, and what they had both lost.

CHAPTER THREE

WHY HAD SHE invited him? Meena asked herself for the millionth time that day. It had been a stupid idea at the time, and felt even stupider now that she was sitting in her boat, in a rash-guard swimsuit and shorts, wondering if he was going to show up.

Of course he wasn’t. He had been awkward and uncomfortable for the entirety of their short acquaintance, so he was hardly going to be signing up for extracurriculars. And no wonder, considering the way that she had quizzed him the last time that they had met, making a near stranger uncomfortable by trying to use his memories to patch together her defective one. And it had all been for nothing anyway. He hadn’t known her then and didn’t care now.

She checked over her equipment one more time, including the battery and memory card on her underwater camera. Ideally she needed some close-up shots of the unstable areas of the reef so that she could make a more thorough assessment of whether the damage could be reversed. She was hoping that transplanting in new corals would stabilise it. But if the damage had already gone too far and the reef was starting to crumble she would have to rethink her options. The best way to decide was to get down there for another look. But if Guy didn’t show she would have to make do with photographing from the glass-bottomed boat. Even seven years after her accident, when the chance of having a seizure was minimal, she wouldn’t risk being out in the water alone.

She needed to choose the best sites for transplanting in the coral pieces she’d retrieved after a storm a few months before, and had been growing out in the lab ever since. If Guy turned up and she had a buddy, then she could get her fins wet and take a closer look.

She looked along the beach, wondering how long she should wait for him, then shook her head; it was time to get to work. She steered her boat over to the reef, anchored carefully in the white sand, taking care not to damage the reef, and pulled out her clipboard and her camera, ready to make her observations.

As she took her first shot, she heard the steady buzz of motor. She looked up, shielding her eyes from the fierce morning sun, and spotted the company-branded speedboat rounding the far side of the island. Guy. She took a moment to calm her nerves and gather herself before he stopped on the beach. He didn’t know that she was still dreaming about him, and he definitely didn’t know about the X-rated images her brain was now happy to summon at will. The light, golden tan of his skin beaded with sweat. His eyes creased with intensity as he moved above her. His body a collection of hard planes that her hands had explored and come to know so well.

In her sleep.

It wasn’t real life. And he would never, ever find out about those dreams.

The speedboat pulled up to the jetty and she watched Guy climb down the couple of steps to the sand and then look around. He spotted her and gave a brisk wave as she pulled up the anchor and steered back to the shore. Guy came over and helped her to tie the boat to the small wooden jetty. He was dressed more casually than she had seen him before, in cargo shorts and a polo shirt, and she tried to keep her eyes on his face, well away from the extra skin that he was showing.

The last thing her brain needed was new material. It had done quite a good job of conjuring up a naked Guy from just the skin of his hands and his face, and that triangle of his throat where he left his shirt open at the collar. But it turned out her peripheral vision was doing a more than okay job of measuring him up: the golden-blond hair on his forearms that caught the morning sunlight. The strong lines of his calves above his beach shoes. Even his feet seemed familiar. Her brain had been remarkably thorough. And accurate. She had to give herself credit for that.

She must be retrofitting, that was all, she told herself. Her brain was seeing the real thing now and simply slotting the new images into her memories of her fantasies.