Christmas With His Wallflower Wife

It was good to see the rest of the family, though. And dear Jane…his childhood playmate: the squire to his knight, the soldier to his general, the pirate to his captain. Shame about Pippin… God knew what her father was about, allowing that old witch to pick on poor Jane the way she did.

Alex pushed away from the tree and shrugged out of his jacket, then rolled up his shirtsleeves. Warm, dry days had been few and far between this summer—although it was still an improvement on last—but today was one of them: the sun high in a cloudless sky and insects humming. Alex wandered through the trees, his jacket hooked over his shoulder, absorbing the peace, disturbed only by the occasional burst of laughter from the garden party, taking little notice of where he was going. It was only when the sun reflecting off the surface of the lake dazzled him that he realised where he was. He stopped, his guts churning in that old familiar way.

He’d had no intention of coming here, to the place where it had happened. His mother’s favourite place. And yet his feet had led him there. Unerringly. As they always did. The summer house overlooking the lake was no more—destroyed by his father after his mother died, a weeping willow planted in its place, in her memory.

The willow had grown in the years since he had last seen it, its fronds now sweeping the ground, and the surrounding trees and shrubs—also planted after her death—had matured, isolating the willow in a clearing bounded by woodland and water.

He stood, just looking, the dark memories close, clawing their way slowly, inexorably, out of the chasm of the past. His heart drummed in his chest, nausea rising to crowd his throat as he shoved those chilling memories of his childhood—of that day—back into the depths and slammed a mental lid on them. He’d had enough practice at keeping them at bay. Eighteen years of practice—he’d only been seven when his mother died…when she was killed.

He shoved harder, feeling sweat bead his forehead. He shouldn’t have come here, should’ve stayed with the others, endured their chatter and their laughter, but it was the same every time he returned to his childhood home. No matter his best intentions, this spot drew him like a lodestone.

The sound of a scuffle and a scream, quickly cut off, grabbed his attention. He scanned his surroundings, still shaken by the past that lurked, ready to catch him unawares. He saw no one, but a muffled cry and a grunted oath sounded from beyond a clump of rhododendrons. His heart thudded. Those sounds… The memories swirled, trying to form. He swore and strode into the copse, rounding the bushes. Whatever he saw would be preferable to the images hovering at the edge of his mind.

‘No! Please! Stop!’

Breathless. Pleading. Scared.

No…terrified. Alex broke into a run, deeper into the trees, even as the sound of a slap rang out. He rounded another thicket.

Rage exploded through him—a starburst of fury that electrified every single nerve ending and muscle. He hauled the man off the woman beneath him and jerked him around, vaguely registering the stink of alcohol. His fist flew and he relished the satisfaction of the crunch of bone and the bright claret spurt of blood. He cast the man aside.

She was curled into a defensive ball, her back convulsing with silent sobs. Alex knew that feeling…he shoved again at the memory that threatened to burst free. The past needed to stay in the past. He fell to his knees and gathered the woman into his arms.

‘Shh…shh. You’re safe. He’s gone.’

He’d recognised him. Sir Denzil Pikeford, a local landowner, who’d been well into his cups when Alex spoke to him earlier and now stumbled away through the trees, hands cupping his bloody nose. Pikeford would suffer the consequences for this, but he could wait.

He held the woman’s head to his chest as he stroked down her back, soothing her, registering the bare skin, the ripped clothing. Her shuddering sobs gradually subsided. Her breathing hitched. Slowed. Hitched again.

‘There now. You’re safe.’

Alex looked down. And realised for the first time she was a lady…one of his father’s guests then, not a maid, or an unwary farm girl caught off guard.

‘Alex?’

A quiet, halting enquiry. She looked up, face blotchy with tears, one cheek stark red, eyes puffy, ringed by spiky wet eyelashes. Recognition thumped Alex square in the chest. He recalled the slap and another surge of fury rolled through him. How could anyone single out a girl as kind and inoffensive as Jane?

She pulled away from him with a gasp, frantic hands scrabbling to gather the tattered remnants of her gown to cover her exposed breasts. Then her eyes rounded with horror as voices called out. The sound of feet trampling the undergrowth came closer. Swiftly, Alex reached for his jacket—fallen nearby—and slung it around Jane before, still on his knees, twisting his torso to face her parents.

‘By God, sir! What is this?’

Lord Stowford, Jane’s father, was mottled with rage. Alex stood to face him, but before he could speak Jane’s stepmother reached her husband’s side.

‘Oh! You wicked, deceitful girl! You are ruined!’ She turned to her husband. ‘Stowford! Do something!’

‘Beauchamp! You shall answer—’

‘Papa! No! Alex saved me. It was Sir D-Denzil.’ Jane scrambled to her feet.

‘I knew it!’ Lady Stowford pressed one hand to her bosom and plied her fan vigorously with the other. ‘As soon as I saw you sneaking off with him!’

Alex frowned, glancing down at Jane. Surely she knew better than to be so careless? But…he took in Lady Stowford’s expression. The smug smile in her eyes. If she’d seen Jane and Pikeford, why not follow them straight away, and intervene?

Jane swayed and Alex moved closer, cupped her elbow, supporting her. Shivers racked her body and tears rolled down her face. Alex stared in disgust at Jane’s stepmother. Cold-hearted witch! What kind of a female…a mother…was she? Where was her concern for another female in distress, let alone one she had raised from a baby? But, then…she had always resented Jane.

‘I didn’t.’ Jane was shaking her head in frantic denial. ‘I s-s-swear it, Papa! I had the headache and hoped a walk by the water would help. He followed me. He grabbed me.’

‘It matters not! You are ruined!’ Lady Stowford’s words rang with triumph. ‘Stowford! Go and find Sir Denzil at once. He must make an honest woman of Jane. Then all will be well.’ She eyed Jane with pitiless disdain. ‘I will not allow your disgrace to taint your sisters.’

‘Noooo!’ Jane sagged against Alex as she uttered a low moan of despair.

‘Have you no compassion?’ Alex glared at Lady Stowford. A memory surfaced…of Her Ladyship trying hard to promote a match between Pikeford and Jane during last Season. And Jane’s disgust at the idea. ‘That foul drunkard attacked your daughter! He was forcing himself on her and you would have her marry him?’

Her haughty gaze raked Alex. ‘I would, as would any responsible parent. At least she will have a husband at long last! She should be grateful.’ She turned to her husband, his expression that of a man wishing he was a thousand miles away. ‘Well, Stowford? Do not just stand there. Go and find Sir Denzil. You must see Jane has to be wed now she is no longer pure.’

‘No! He didn’t… I am still… Alex stopped him in time, Papa! Please, Papa!’

‘Stowford! You must think of our other daughters. Their reputations are what is important now. Jane must be wed.’

‘Then I shall marry her.’ Alex released Jane’s elbow and wrapped his arm around her waist, hauling her into his side.

‘Alex?’

His heart plummeted at that voice. Behind the Stowfords three figures came into view: Alex’s father in the lead of his uncles, Vernon and Zach. Father’s eyes swept the group. Returned to linger on Jane, then levelled a searching look at Alex.

‘What happened? Pikeford? We saw him stagger out of the copse just now.’

Grateful for his father’s swift understanding, Alex nodded. He held that silver-grey gaze, his gut churning with the same mix of hopeless love and unwanted revulsion he always felt towards this man he so desperately longed to love unconditionally. Father walked forward, ranging himself alongside Alex and Jane.

‘This matter can be contained, Stowford. No one will know but us. There is no need to force Jane to marry anyone.’

The swell of relief was brief. One look at Lady Stowford’s expression—even as she was agreeing with his father—was enough to stir Alex’s doubts. That old witch wouldn’t rest until she had her wish—Jane married off, no matter the circumstances.

Jane was still trembling, like an injured bird…fragile…terrified.

‘No,’ he heard himself say. He slid his arm from around Jane’s waist and grasped her shoulders, manoeuvring her so he could look straight into her swollen eyes. ‘Lady Jane Colebrooke…will you do me the honour of being my wife?’

Jane’s head pounded. She shouldn’t accept him. She knew she shouldn’t—this was just like Alex. Impulsive. Doing things he would later regret. He’d been like it all through their childhood. But Jane had no energy. No strength. No courage. The fear Stepmama would, somehow, force her to marry Pikeford was all-consuming.

She had dwindled until she was a mere husk and, like a husk, she allowed herself to be carried on the wind. ‘Yes.’

All she wanted was for all of this—and all of them—to go away. The Duke, she could see, was uneasy. But Stepmama—oh, she was delighted! Not only was her nuisance of a stepdaughter finally off her hands, but the family would now be irrevocably connected to that of the Duke of Cheriton, one of the most powerful and influential men in the land.

Jane’s conscience made a valiant late attempt at fairness and she clutched Alex’s hand.

‘Alex! No… I should not have… I am not thinking straight… You need not…’

Her breathless protest died away as he held her gaze with those gorgeous golden-brown eyes of his. Alex grinned that old reckless care-for-nothing grin that had stolen Jane’s young heart years before. He pulled her close and put his lips to her ear.

‘C’mon, Janey. It’ll be all right. It’ll be fun.’

The same words with which he had led her into devilment during their youth—he to prove he wouldn’t be confined by rules; she, willing to do anything to escape Stepmama and to please her childhood hero. There had always been consequences, of course, but now—here was her chance to escape Stepmama for good. Never again would she have to bite her tongue as she endured one of Stepmama’s diatribes about how plain and useless she was.

‘Thank you.’

She caught the Duke’s frown from the corner of her eye and quailed inside. But it seemed Alex had noticed, too, because his arm snaked around her waist again and he faced his father, chin jutting, head high, bringing to mind the defiant boy, full of bravado.

‘Father?’

His challenge was unmistakable. A muscle leapt in the Duke’s jaw, but he nodded.

‘If it is your wish, then we will make the arrangements. Wait here.’

He turned on his heel and strode away and Jane felt the tension leach from Alex. She eyed those left in the clearing. Stepmama was already crowing to Papa about the connection and the splendid society wedding she would arrange. Alex’s uncle, Lord Vernon Beauchamp, walked over to Alex and Jane, followed by Mr Graystoke—a half-Romany whose father was an earl, and who was married to Alex’s Aunt Cecily, but refused to be called ‘uncle’. Stepmama—for all she fawned over the Duke—held his brother-in-law in disdain and made no secret of the fact.

‘Alex? What can I do to help?’ Concern etched Lord Vernon’s face as he gripped his nephew’s shoulder.

‘You can shut her up about lavish society weddings,’ Alex growled. He looked down at Jane. ‘Come and stay at the Abbey, Janey. Don’t go back there and let her terrorise you into having what she wants. Unless…do you want a big wedding?’

Jane shook her head. She could think of nothing worse. ‘Stepmama only wants one because she thinks it will help my sisters attract husbands.’

Mr Graystoke’s lip curled. He strolled unhurriedly across to where Stepmama was still talking at Papa. Silence descended.

‘The young couple prefer a quiet wedding. Family only,’ he said.

Papa flushed red as Stepmama visibly bristled.

‘Who do you think—?’

Her mouth shut with a snap as Lord Vernon joined them.

‘And Lady Jane will stay at the Abbey until Alex obtains the licence,’ he drawled. ‘I foresee no objection from the Bishop and you may rest assured Jane will be well chaperoned in the meantime.’

‘I shall come myself to collect her belongings,’ Mr Graystoke added and Stepmama spluttered, spots of outrage colouring her cheeks. ‘Shall we say in two hours? If you leave now, that should give you sufficient time to pack her belongings.’

The two men turned their backs on her parents and strolled back to Alex and Jane.

‘That shut her up,’ Lord Vernon said, with a wink.

Over his shoulder, Jane watched her parents leave, Stepmama gesticulating furiously. Even though she wanted them gone, it still hurt to see Papa walk away without a word.

‘Maybe you should take her back to the house, Alex, and not wait for Leo,’ said Mr Graystoke. ‘She’s had a shock.’ He crouched slightly and tipped up her chin, holding her gaze with his dark eyes. ‘All will be well, my dear. You are part of the family now. You are protected.’

The anxiety agitating her stomach settled and stilled. ‘Thank you.’ She glanced up at Alex, who was frowning at her. ‘What is it?’

‘You can’t go back with your gown all torn like that. I—’

His jaw snapped shut and Jane followed his gaze. Alex’s father, a gown draped over one arm, was approaching, the Duchess—Alex’s stepmother—by his side.

‘Vern, Zach, Alex…come. Let us return to our guests. Rosalind will help Jane. The fewer people who know what happened here, the better.’

‘We’d better find a way to stop Lady Stowford from spewing her poison all over the district, then,’ said Lord Vernon. ‘I believe Zach and I might have contrived to upset her. Just a smidgeon, you understand. And totally without intention.’ The twinkle in his eyes belied his apologetic tone.

‘I have already helped the Stowfords to understand it is in their best interests to remain quiet,’ said the Duke.

‘We met them on their way back to the house,’ added the Duchess, ‘and Lady Stowford made the mistake of attempting to pull rank on Leo, claiming rights as the mother of the bride. I believe she now accepts it is what Alex and Jane want that is important. Now, off you go, you men, and leave me and Jane to make her respectable. Go on! Shoo!’

Chapter Three

Left alone with the Duchess, Jane found her voice again.

‘I shouldn’t have accepted Alex, Your Grace. I’m sorry. He doesn’t want to marry me. I know he doesn’t. Stepmama gave him no choice.’ Suppressed tears thickened her voice. Why would anyone want to marry her? She wasn’t pretty or even vivacious. Alex had been trapped. ‘She would keep saying I was ruined and I must marry S-Sir Denzil.’

‘Jane…you cannot possibly marry that villain after what he tried to do.’ The Duchess took her hand. ‘You and Alex have always been friends, have you not?’

Jane nodded.

‘Then allow him to help his friend and…’ The Duchess paused, a line stitched between her brows. Then her chin tilted. ‘And, in return, you can be a friend to him. Alex needs someone like you in his life…’ she nodded, emphasising her words ‘…although he would never admit it. Unless, of course, the thought of being wed to him truly repels you?’

Hazel eyes searched Jane’s face. She shook her head. No. That thought did not repel her. Not at all.

‘Good. Now, come, let us get this gown off you and make you respectable. I have even brought a comb and hairpins. No one will guess what so nearly happened and Leo has already shut Sir Denzil in one of the outbuildings until he sobers up and can be…um…“brought to fully appreciate the iniquity of his actions” were, I believe, Leo’s exact words.’

They were all being so kind, but Jane dreaded to think what they really thought of her. She knew Alex had stopped Pikeford in time, but did anyone else believe her? She shuddered at the memory of his hand painfully squeezing her breast…his fingers between her legs… Her stomach roiled, pushing the contents up. She ran to a nearby bush, bent double and vomited. Tears blurred her eyes. She could not stop retching, even after her stomach was empty and sore. Gradually, the heaving slowed and she became aware of hands supporting her, holding her hair back.

‘Better now?’

‘Yes. Thank you, Your Grace.’

‘Then let us make you respectable again and return to the house.’

They avoided the lawn at the rear of the Abbey, where the garden party continued, by following the lake around until they met the grass path that wound up through the copse towards the formal gardens leading to the terrace and the library. The Duchess peered through the hedge into the gardens before smiling encouragingly at Jane.

‘They’re empty. When the Duke told me what had happened, I ordered bath water to be heated and a bedchamber prepared. You must be exhausted. Come.’

She slipped her arm around Jane’s waist and they hurried through the gardens and up the steps to the terrace, where one of the French doors into the library stood open. Within minutes the Duchess had whisked Jane upstairs.

Father, as was his wont, moved swiftly to avert any scandal. Pikeford had already left for Plymouth, escorted by two footmen to ensure he took passage on the first ship bound for the Continent, thus thwarting Alex of the chance to thump the bastard again. But Father did not broach the subject of Alex’s impending marriage until after dinner that evening, when he invited Alex to join him in his study.

Alex braced himself for the interrogation, every muscle locked tight, as though his body was preparing itself for physical battle.

‘Well, Alex?’

Alex unclenched his jaw with an effort. ‘Well… I hope you will wish us happy, sir.’

Father stared at him for several seconds, his eyes troubled, before pouring them both a glass of brandy. He handed one to Alex and gestured for him to sit in one of the pair of wingback chairs either side of the unlit hearth.

‘You’ve had time to think this through, Son. Marriage is a big step—it is not something that should be rushed into on a whim.’

‘It was not a whim.’ As ever, he instinctively opposed Father.

One dark eyebrow flicked high. ‘Did you know this morning you would propose to Lady Jane Colebrooke today?’

‘Of course not! I—’

‘Then it was a whim.’

As Alex opened his mouth to protest again, Father held up one hand. ‘Hear me out, Alex, before you shoot me down again.’

Alex subsided. How he wished he could emulate Father’s cool, calm control. Nothing ever seemed to rattle him whereas he… Alex…flew into the boughs at the slightest provocation. He must learn to control that tendency with a wife to consider.

His insides clenched. A wife! Marriage! He’d never, ever imagined marrying. He knew himself too well to believe he could ever make a good husband.

‘It’s not too late to change your mind, Alex. Once you exchange your vows, you will be together for life.’

‘My mind is made up,’ Alex muttered.

‘Nevertheless you should listen to what I am about to say, not only for your own sake, but for Jane’s, as well.’

‘Jane’s sake?’

Father didn’t reply, but held Alex’s gaze with his own.

‘Jane will be happy to get away from that witch of a stepmother of hers.’

‘Granted. But if I can guarantee you that Jane will never have to return to her father’s house, will you reconsider your decision?’

Alex stared at his father. ‘How?’

Hope warred with resentment inside. Hope, because marriage was irrevocable. His father was right, although Alex would never admit that aloud. Resentment because…well, resentment was his habitual reaction to everything his father said or did.

‘I will undertake to find her a decent husband.’

He didn’t like the sound of that. How could his father possibly know a man’s character, or how he might change? Once Jane was wed, that would be it. She’d be bound for life to some stranger she didn’t even know. Every fibre of his being rebelled against that idea… Jane was his friend. He’d always protected her, right from when they were children.

‘You think I couldn’t make her a decent husband? We’ve been friends a long time.’

‘I am aware of that. But…you’re only five-and-twenty, Alex. It’s a young age for a man to take such a big step.’

‘Dom is only a year older than me. He got married this year.’

‘He thought it his duty. But then, thank goodness, he fell in love. Besides, you and Dominic are very different characters.’

Alex scowled, biting back the urge to rip up at his father. The truth hurt sometimes.

‘You were only eighteen when you married my mother.’

‘The circumstances were very different. My father was dying and fretting over the succession of the dukedom. I married for him.’ Father thrust his hand through his hair. ‘Alex…this is not wise… Allow me to find a good husband for Jane… Don’t rush into this. You might both live to regret it.’

Alex drained his glass and rose to his feet. ‘And we might not! This is my decision. I leave for Exeter first thing to obtain the licence.’ He’d already arranged for Dominic to drive him in his curricle. ‘The wedding will take place as soon as possible.’

Then he could leave this place with all its threatening memories and go home to Foxbourne where he was happiest.

‘I intend to make the same offer to Jane tomorrow.’ Father’s voice was clipped. ‘She deserves to know she has a choice.’

Alex’s simmering temper boiled up at that. ‘There is no need for you to involve yourself—I don’t want you pressuring Jane just because you think you know what is best. You cannot manipulate us to your bidding like you manipulate everyone else. I bid you goodnight.’

His temper raged until he was halfway to his bedchamber when—as so often happened where his father was concerned—it cooled as suddenly as if doused in a bucket of icy water, leaving shame behind. He contemplated rejoining the family downstairs but couldn’t face having to act the part of happy brother, nephew and son. Not to mention happy prospective bridegroom. He couldn’t face his family. Couldn’t face his father again. He continued on to his room, eyeing the bed with disfavour, already anticipating the restless night to come.

Why was life never straightforward?

He’d refused his father’s offer, driven by that familiar but inexplicable defiance, but that didn’t mean he knew exactly what he did want.

He was torn.

He’d been fully reconciled to life as a bachelor, with no need—or wish—to share his life with anyone. And as for marriage to Jane—she was like his little sister! No. She was more than that. She was, and always had been, his friend. But…marriage? Didn’t that mean sharing his feelings and his innermost thoughts? That was unthinkable. He kept those to himself. Always had. He was an island—even when he was out with his friends, carousing, he was always separate, somehow, and that was how he liked it.

But, strangely, now he was faced with it, a part of him—a newly emerging, hesitant and hazy part of him—quite liked the idea of marriage. To Jane. At least she knew him and knew about his past. And at least she never looked at him with that infuriating mix of sympathy and pity he all too often identified in his family’s expressions. He and Jane were friends—surely they could at least be comfortable together, as long as he learned to suppress his black moods. He could do it with the horses…when he worked with them it was as though nothing else existed. No past. No future. Just him and the horse. Could he learn to do the same for Jane?