Virtually Perfect

“Where did you have them stored?”

Bristling at his interruption, her eyes went glacial.

“I always keep my active folder on the desktop, so I can have quick access to it.”

“Maybe you deleted your files by mistake. Folders and files don’t usually delete themselves.”

“No, they don’t. But neither did I. Something happened, and they were gone.”

He sighed. It was never anyone’s fault when something happened to their computer. “Anything else?”

“Yes, last week I could barely get anything done. My computer kept freezing up, and was very slow. I had to keep shutting it down and restarting. Then it just snapped out of it and was fine.”

“Sounds like minor stuff. Probably won’t happen again. I’ll send a tech up to look at it later.”

With that, he gathered up his laptop and walked out of the office, leaving her feeling abruptly dismissed. Raine sat down in her chair and let out a breath it seemed she had been holding the entire time he had been in the office. What a strange conversation. Why did he dislike her so much? And why had her body leaped in response to such a casual, accidental touch? It was horribly embarrassing, especially with him.

She tried to forget it. Maybe he hadn’t even noticed. He was in no small hurry to get out of her office, so she wouldn’t have to worry about it again. Shaking off the uncomfortable feeling, she checked her in box, and saw the e-mail pop up on her screen. From Rider. No subject line. Opening it, she saw only one word.

Please.

The decision to meet Rider was becoming a vague possibility in her mind. She kept trying to push down the sense of anticipation, of hope that this time—this man—could be different, but it kept emerging, especially after talking to Gwen. How could she use this as research when she was so obviously losing her objectivity? What if he was just the way he was online? Could she do this? Should she? Her stomach fluttered thinking of it.

What if meeting him turned out to be a total bomb? What if he was crazy, or even worse, married? But in her gut she knew neither one would be true. He would be great. And she would be…well, she wasn’t exactly chopped liver, but she also wasn’t the adventure girl that she had come across as online. In fact, far from it.

But she had always thought, with the right man, someone whom she could open up with, someone who would care, maybe things could be different. Maybe she could be different. At the worst, the spark would fizzle when they actually met, and that would not be a tragedy.

All in all, she led a pretty normal, sane and sometimes boring life. Could she live up to the sexual fantasies they had shared online? Her sex life had ranged from mildly interesting to nonexistent.

But maybe it wouldn’t even come to that. All she had to do was meet him. That was all.

Her readers had been sending her tons of similar questions and stories about their Internet romances and how to handle them. And now here she was, like so many of her readers, wondering what to do. Take the chance? What was life without a little risk, right? How could she ever really know unless she took the leap? She would just control the risk, make sure things didn’t go any direction she didn’t want them to go. Maybe. Maybe she could risk it. One more time.

JACK SHOOK OFF his aggravation, catching a coffee at the cafeteria and heading back downstairs to the Batcave, as they affectionately referred to the subterranean floor of the office building.

He tried to ignore the anxiety of wondering what Nilla was doing at this very second, what she was wearing, if she was thinking of him, if she was considering making them a reality.

The incident with Raine only had his body more fired up, and he hoped something would happen soon, or he was either going to have to dig into his address book, which he was loath to do. They were women he had dated, and whom he liked. He wouldn’t feel right using one of them to work off the hots he had gotten from someone else. It was more likely he was facing several weeks of cold showers until he got over this.

Never again would he get involved in an online love affair. It was just too hard on the body. He slid a furtive glance at his e-mail. He couldn’t believe it, but his heart actually flipped when he saw an e-mail from her. Sent only moments ago.

He stared at it for a few moments, then opened it. One word.

Okay.

Hot damn! He thought his face would split from grinning, and all of his aggravation was lost in a consuming sense of anticipation. He was caught unawares by the person standing behind him.

“Uh, sir? Sir?”

Jack spun around in his chair, realizing he probably looked as if he had won the lottery, and not really caring. One of his guys, Neal Scott, was standing in the doorway behind him. Taking a breath, he got his excitement under control and put his professional face on, though he couldn’t quell the buzz of anticipation that was running through his blood.

“What’s up, Neal? Sorry, I just, um, just got some good news.”

“Oh, that’s good, sir.”

“Please don’t call me sir, Neal. Jack is fine.”

“Okay, um, sir, Jack. You asked me to stop by to look at the security bug you were dealing with.”

Jack watched the young man in the office. Neal was a great worker, and a nice kid, if a little shy. Jack knew he was in his twenties, but there was just something about him that made him seem much younger. Neal kept to himself a lot, but Jack had been including him more, trying to draw him out a little, and it was working. Neal was loosening up a lot, and had even gone out with a bunch of them a few times.

Jack liked the kid and thought he could really be an asset to the company. Hell, Neal seemed to do nothing but work—he had been in his office most of the weekend, which Jack had seen when reviewing the security logs.

He was smarter than hell, too, but he didn’t have much confidence, and was generally overlooked by management. So, Jack had been giving him some more challenging jobs, bringing him along slowly. He pulled a chair up and gestured for Neal to sit down.

“Yeah, take a look at this. It’s been giving me a headache all day.”

Neal squinted behind the thick, black-framed glasses he always wore and read the screen full of numbers and symbols quickly and with interest.

“Yeah. There. I see it. Might be a worm.”

“I’ve tried to close it down about ten times, but it keeps popping open. You are a much slicker programmer than I am, can you work on it?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Neal got up to leave and Jack shook his head.

“Hey, Neal. I see you were here all weekend?”

“Um, yeah.” Neal creased his forehead and then pushed his glasses up.

“I appreciate initiative, and you’re doing a great job—but don’t get burnt out—there’s more to life than work.”

Neal nodded, and headed to the door.

Jack sat back and flipped the e-mail from Nilla back on screen, smiling broadly again. He knew he wouldn’t be spending his weekend at work. With any luck, he would be spending it making a fantasy come true.

3

RAINE DASHED THROUGH her apartment door and almost dropped the pizza she’d grabbed on the way home. She was giddy with nerves. She didn’t want to think about why the change in her decision to talk to Rider tonight had such an effect on her mood. After all, she was just going to talk to him. If anything didn’t hit her right, she would call it quits and that would be that. She would remain in control of the situation.

Forgetting the pizza on the entry table, she made a beeline to her computer and logged on. Connection time was slow, and she jittered on the sofa, wiggling her fingers in the air over the keys, going crazy waiting for the screen to tell her she was ready to go. “C’mon, c’mon!… There, good!”

A few quick keystrokes and she was in. She looked at the list of players logged in, and his name was not there. Damn!

She fell back against the cushions, closed her eyes, and let out a frustrated breath. It was only seven; it was early yet. She thought about the pizza, but wasn’t hungry now. She put a hand over her eyes. Was she crazy? Maybe it was better this way; maybe she had made the wrong decision. This could be her reprieve. Then she peeked through two fingers and sneaked a look at the screen, smiling widely.

“Wake up, hot stuff. You beat me here. Your e-mail made my day.” I kiss you warmly.

Raine watched the cursor blink, and felt as she typed that every line was rewriting her life in ways she couldn’t even imagine. She hoped it was for the better.

I kiss you back.” You’re pretty easy to please.”

“Generally. But you seem particularly good at it.”

Raine held her breath, and typed, before she could change her mind.

“We need to talk more about what we want out of this whole thing.”

“Well, how can we know until we meet? Maybe nothing, maybe we end up married with five kids, who knows?”

Raine felt her jaw tense, and responded bluntly.

“You see, that’s it, Rider. I don’t want a house and five kids. I don’t want anyone pushing me. That is why I‘m not sure this is a good idea.”

“Okay, well, I wasn’t proposing marriage there, just saying that we can’t possibly know what we want, or what this will be.”

Raine pressed on, screwing up the courage to say what she really meant.

“Yes, we can—we can say what we want it to be, we can say what we will do, and what we won’t—what things are possible, and what things are not. So there are no unreasonable expectations, and no one gets hurt.”

“Okay, not getting hurt is good. So you want rules?”

“I suppose…sort of. Yes.”

“What rules do you want?”

Raine considered, and typed slowly.

“All right. First of all, maybe both or either of us may not be interested right away. At that point, maybe we have a nice dinner and part ways.”

“Okay, I’d say that’s a given.”

“And if we do like each other, if we are just as attracted as we are here, we can just let it be what it is—it doesn’t have to get weighed down with all the emotional baggage, promises of forever.”

“Nilla, are you saying you only want to have a no-strings relationship?”

“Are you saying that you wouldn’t be interested in that?”

Jack sat back and thought. What was she offering him? No-strings sex if they hit it off? Or was she saying it could never lead to anything else? Something itched at the back of his mind, and he turned cautious.

“Nilla, are you married? Or involved in some way that would keep you from having a committed relationship with me?”

“Oh no…no! Geez, Rider, do you think women can’t pursue simple, uncomplicated lives? I am just saying, you and I can avoid messy emotional entanglements. Because we have met here, and we have already shared so much…I just think we should be clear about our expectations.”

Jack considered that. He wasn’t in love with her, he knew that. But he was intrigued by her, and he thought there was more than sex going on between them. Less than love, more than sex. Something in between. That seemed to be what she wanted. He wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He wasn’t looking for commitment, either, though he was open to the possibilities.

“I think I understand. We can see if we are even attracted to each other, and go from there, gorgeous.”

“You don’t know if I am gorgeous or not. I could look like a frog.”

That had crossed his mind. He didn’t think so, but no matter what reptile, bird or fish she might resemble, if she could do half the things to him in real life that she could online, it would be worth finding out.

“Mmm. I like frogs. Especially their legs. Very tasty.”

“Well, then, I suppose we have to talk about this, set something up?”

“I guess for starters, what is your real name, Nilla?”

“Let’s not share too much here—we can find out names and those kinds of details when we meet. Tell me what you’ll wear, so I can recognize you. We can meet at a restaurant or something. Plus, I may bring a friend, if you don’t mind.”

Jack felt a stab of disappointment, but realized she was going by the book, and he was glad for it. It was smarter not to share names just yet or share any physical details about herself. Anyone could easily locate you that way, or simply go about prying into your life.

“Sounds good. I’m thirty-four, about six foot, one-ninety, and I’ll wear jeans, a brown leather jacket and a Red Sox cap. That’s pretty much what I wear everywhere. Friends are fine. Maybe I’ll bring one, too. Your turn.”

Raine stared at the screen and felt her mouth go dry, her imagination filling in the rest of the details. So far, this was sounding very, very good. And he hadn’t balked at meeting in a public place, or with friends—that was a good sign. Then she laughed.

“Okay, well. I just turned thirty-two last month. I don’t know what I’ll be wearing, but I’ll put a rose in my hair, so you’ll know me that way.”

“When? Make it soon.”

Raine smiled at the sexual intensity he could communicate in so few words, and began to feel a deep sense of anticipation soak into her, right to the bone.

“Yes, soon. But I don’t even know where you live. Red Sox cap? Are you in the northeast?”

“Yep, live north of Boston. On the coast, just below Gloucester.”

Raine practically fell over in shock. They were neighbors! She’d figured he was in the same time zone because they were always online at the same times, but she hadn’t thought he would be that close. That could end up being either a very good—or a very bad—thing. For now she would go with it being good.

“Hey, looks like we’re neighbors. I live in Salem, a bit of a drive, but not too far.”

“Less than an hour’s drive. I commute to work every day, so that is no problem at all. I can leave now, be there by ten.”

Raine felt her heart pound and almost told him to come.

“Tempting as that is, I think we should wait. But this makes it more convenient, at least. I’m glad. I thought you might be far away.”

“It wouldn’t matter. I would come anyway.”

Raine shivered and took the leap.

“How about this Saturday night, seven, at the bar in La Luna, on Pickering Wharf. It’s a nice place but not too formal. Great food, if nothing else works out.”

“Okay. Let’s make it six—we’ll have a drink before dinner.”

Raine watched the words travel across the screen and could hardly believe it. They were going to meet, to really meet. In person. For real.

I stare into your luscious brown eyes. “Okay. So, in three days we’ll know.”

I pull you close to me. “It seems like forever. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive up tonight?”

I run my fingers through your hair. “No, I am sorely tempted, but this is probably a better idea. And remember, it is just dinner—we can opt out at any time.”

Jack knew it was the right thing, though he was so hot for her he could barely imagine not touching her, or making some of what they had shared a reality. But she was providing an out for him, too. Just in case. And when he got there, if things were good, who knew what could happen? He had a feeling about this; he was willing to just go with it.

“Agreed. Just dinner—unless you beg me to go back to your place and engage in illicit activities.”

“You never know. Maybe it will be you doing the begging.”

Jack smiled. Desire raced through his blood and flowed through his fingers out into the words.

“I’d beg for you, Nilla, you can count on it. I’d like to drop to my knees in front of you, kiss your feet, taste the skin on the back of your knee, and then work my way up, slowly, taste you, run my tongue over you until you come with my mouth on you, until we are both begging. And that’s only the beginning.”

“Um, I am not sure this is a good idea….”

Raine swallowed, and tried to focus as her breath became shallow. The hunger she had been feeling for weeks was suddenly a little frightening. This wasn’t a game anymore; it was real. He was real. They were going to sit across a table from one another and have dinner and talk, and all that while they would both be remembering the secrets that had passed between them. She closed her eyes and tried to settle herself.

“Why not?”

“I don’t think we should really discuss this, considering…”

“Nilla, tell me how you feel, how your body feels right now….”

Raine tried to think, and quell the heat pounding through her bloodstream. She wanted to back off, and knew she should, but sheer desire weakened her. She knew what she wanted, and reached down for the courage to ask him for it.

“Rider, your number. Give me your number.”

“What?”

“Your phone number, Rider, tell me. I’ll call you. I need to…hear you.”

Jack was shocked speechless as he contemplated her request. No, not a request, a demand. The idea of actually talking to her stole his breath, and he didn’t bother thinking about it, but just responded.

“Oh, yeah, sweetheart, yes. Here.”

Jack typed in his cell phone number.

“I’ll call you in a little while. I just want to shower and change out of my work clothes.”

Work clothes? He smiled knowingly, pure masculine satisfaction pooling in his heart. She had come directly to find him. He acknowledged her message, and signed off.

His house was suddenly incredibly still and quiet, and he could hear his own heart pounding. The wind howled outside the windows, and minutes slowed down as if he was drugged, the feeling of waiting for the phone to ring weighing down on him. God, she had taken him by surprise.

She was changing. She was taking a shower. He closed his eyes and imagined the hot water running over her naked, soft skin. Then she would put on…what? His imagination nearly drove him mad. By the time the phone rang, he had imagined her in everything from black dominatrix leather to pink lace—and then in nothing at all. His mind went still. He pressed the talk button, and was relieved to discover his voice actually worked.

“Nilla.”

Raine thought for sure she would pass out just hearing him say her name—well, her screen name, but the same difference. Low and smooth, it slid over her like hot lava, and she tried to sound calm in response.

“Hey, Rider.”

Her voice was like whiskey, hot and golden. He closed his eyes and let it ease over him for a moment before speaking again.

“It’s much like I imagined it would be.”

“What’s that?”

“Your voice.” He settled more comfortably into the chair, and smiled into the phone. “When we talked online, some times I imagined I could hear you, but the real thing is a million times better.”

Raine smiled. “It is. I love hearing you too.” She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. “This is pretty intense.”

“Something tells me it’s about to get even more intense, Nilla.”

Raine felt weird being called by her pseudonym, and almost caved to the temptation to tell him her real name, but held back. That could wait. For now, this was good. She laughed, and almost didn’t recognize the husky, sexy sound of her own voice.

“Could be.”

“Um, Nilla, not to be too cliché, but exactly what did you change into?”

She laughed. “Rider, are you actually asking me what I am wearing?”

He laughed, too, a warm, husky, sexy laugh.

“You bet I am. You can’t leave a guy hanging like that and not expect him to go half-mad with wondering. Tell me, Nilla.”

Raine looked down, and nervously smoothed her hand up and down over her thigh.

“It’s no big deal…usually when I get home from work I shower and change into my comfortable clothes.”

“Tell me about them.”

Raine smiled, and shook her head. This was crazy. She had thought calling him might add the edge of reality and stem the passion that was quickly getting out of control online.

She couldn’t have been more wrong. Voice to voice, they were spontaneously combusting. She took a breath, and spoke, feeling a little silly, but pressed on anyway, remembering that Nilla would have no problem responding to this request.

“Flannel pajama shorts and a top. Cushy socks. Not exactly Victoria’s Secret, but soft, warm, and comfortable.”

Jack chuckled, intrigued by the thought of her cuddled in flannel, the cotton sliding against warm, soft skin, clean and smelling of soap and powder. The slight edge of shyness that came through her voice made him want to break through, to make her lose control and tell him what he wanted to hear.

“I wish I could smell you. I want to slide my hands along your skin, touching you. I want to know what secrets you are keeping under that flannel.”

Raine felt rather than saw the flush work its way over her body, his voice setting off pins and needles of passion on her skin. She tried to speak normally, but her breath caught, betraying her response.

“Rider, I think we should just talk, we probably shouldn’t…”

She could almost see his naughty grin as he spoke. “That’s what makes it so much fun, Nilla. Forget the shoulds and shouldn’ts for a minute. Just relax. It’s just me—Rider. Do something for me?”

“What?”

“Touch yourself—and tell me what you feel.”

Okay, stop the bus!

She was not prepared for this! Nothing in thirty-two years prepared her for this onslaught of what she wanted to do, which was completely in conflict with what she didn’t know if she even could do.

He was asking her to share something wildly new, and for her, something incredibly daring. It had been easy online. This was different. Way different. She closed her eyes, and couldn’t think of a single way to respond. He spoke again.

“It’s all right—we’ll go at whatever pace you want. It’s just that you are driving me crazy. The sound of your voice.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“Nilla, don’t you know? You turn me inside out.” The words ground out of him and shocked her—frustration, desire, and control that came across clearly in his voice made Raine feel a bit faint. “Just hearing your voice has me close to coming, all I would have to do is touch myself. God, Nilla, tell me you want me to.”

Raine squeezed her eyes shut and almost dropped the phone, fumbling to catch it, and wished she had bought the speakerphone she had seen on sale a few weeks earlier. She was in a sexual twilight zone, nothing was real, and everything seemed to be magnified, every touch, every sound, every thought.

She pictured him as he existed in her imagination, sitting on the other end of the phone, needing her, wanting her. Fear and feminine power warred in her mind, and in her heart. She took a deep breath, and she let herself slide out of reality.

“Yes. Yes, Rider, I want you to touch yourself, to make yourself come. I want to help you, to be part of it.”

Jack slid one hand under the thick cotton of his robe, and let his head fall back on the chair as he slid his fingers over his swollen penis, rubbing his thumb over the dew that had accumulated at the head. He squeezed, sucking in a sharp breath, slowing himself down before it was all over too fast.

“Tell me, Nilla, talk to me…I’m aching for you….”

Raine turned off her light and quickly slid out of her clothes. She didn’t—wouldn’t—think about this. She just wanted to experience this moment of absolute letting go. She slipped back on her bed, not needing the covers. Her body was white hot and ready to go. She felt awkward as she spoke, but just said what she felt.