The Nanny's Secret

“I’m here about Mandy.” He shoved aside his half-empty mug. “I want to ask—” He broke off as his glance moved beyond her to another room. A utility room. He could see packing boxes there, all neatly taped up. At the same time, he belatedly realized the kitchen had an echoing feel to it. And the walls were bare, many of the shelves empty.

“Are you moving?” He stared at her.

“Yes. I’m going home.”

“Where’s home?”

“The island.”

It was the last thing he’d expected. Oh, he’d known she might turn down his proposal outright and that even if she’d accepted it, she might haggle about salary, hours, any number of other things. What he hadn’t once anticipated was that she might be leaving the Lower Mainland and going to live on Vancouver Island. “You’ve made your plans?”

“Everything’s settled. I’m going to stay with my mother till I find a place of my own.” She finished her tea, put down her mug. “Now…it’s very late…and you still haven’t told me why you’re here.”

“It doesn’t matter. Not now.” He rose from the table, put his mug on the counter. “I’ll be on my way.”

He was at the door, opening it, before she said, “Wait.”

He turned. She was standing still, her face very pale.

“You owe me an explanation,” she said. “You can’t come here in the middle of the night and not tell me why.”

He shrugged. “You won’t be here, so…what I wanted to ask you…doesn’t matter.”

“It was something about Mandy, wasn’t it? If there’s anything I can help with, please let me know. I realize it must be difficult for you to look after her—she has her own little ways, and if it’ll make it any easier for you, I’d be happy to sit down and go over them with you. For example, her hair gets tangled after it’s washed, and to keep her from fussing when you brush it, you have to…”

Her voice trailed away when she saw him drag a weary hand over his nape.

“What is it?” She took an urgent step toward him. “What’s wrong? You must tell me!”

“Mandy’s miserable. I’ve never seen a kid so unhappy.” Jordan wanted to go down on his knees and plead with her to stay but his pride wouldn’t let him. Instead, he gave another shrug—a deliberately careless shrug. “I just thought—at least, my sister Lacey suggested it, I was dead against the idea—Lacey suggested it might help if I were to offer you your old job back. For Mandy’s sake.”

Her lips parted in a round, soundless. “Oh.”

“But since you’re leaving, I’ll have to find someone else. It’s no big deal.” He turned his back on her and opened the door. “I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

He went out into the night and as he walked in the moonlight to his car, he felt as if the world and all its worries were pressing down on him from every side.

What the hell was he going to do now! He’d told Ms. Fairfax he’d find someone else.

There was no one else.

He kicked at a stone, and hissed out a word that would have made Lacey’s hair stand on end.

Wrenching open the car door, he was about to throw himself inside, when from behind him he heard someone call, “Mr. Maxwell! Wait!”

And when he turned around, Felicity Fairfax was running breathlessly toward him.

CHAPTER TWO

FELICITY thought her heart was going to burst.

What Jordan had said had stunned her. And then joy had exploded inside her, lending wings to her feet as she raced out of the apartment.

Now, catching up to him, she gasped, “Do you really mean it? You want me to look after Mandy again?”

“I don’t recall using exactly those words…but yes, that’s what I came here to ask.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“I was hoping you could start tomorrow. I’d planned—if you were available—to bring Mandy over here on my way to the office. But since you’re moving out of the area—”

“But I don’t have to move—I don’t want to move! If you could only wait till I find another place, there’s nothing in the world that I’d like more than to look after Mandy again.”

A car stopped, farther along the street. Its headlights illuminated Jordan’s face, and there was no mistaking his expression of relief. Then the vehicle turned into a driveway and once again his face was shadowed.

“I can’t wait,” he said. “I need you to start tomorrow.”

“But I have the movers coming on Tuesday. And I’ll have to find another place to live—”

“You’ll stay at Deerhaven.”

“At your house?”

“Right.” Impatience snapped in his voice. “You’ll come home with me now, and tomorrow you can change all your moving arrangements.”

Felicity felt her initial exultation give way to indignation. If he thought he could ride rough-shod over her, he had another think coming.

“I have not,” she snapped back, “even finished packing yet!”

“You can do that tomorrow night after I get home from work.” Restlessly, he shoved his hands in his pockets, to a jangling of keys or coins. “Now, if that’s all settled, I’ll give you a couple of minutes to pack a case with your immediate needs, and then we can—”

“I have a cat.”

“Ah, yes.” His tone was mocking. “The handsome beast. I’m not a cat lover myself. I don’t suppose you’d consider giving him up for adoption?”

“I most certainly would not!”

“Then he’ll be part of the package. Just keep him out of my way, or I won’t answer for the consequences.” He leaned back against the car. “Right, I’ll wait here.” He made a big play of looking at his watch. “I’ll give you twenty minutes to get ready.”

Felicity took thirty.

Oh, she was ready in twenty, but she sat in her darkened bedroom for an extra ten, letting her new employer cool his elegant heels outside.

Jordan was well aware that Felicity Fairfax had saved his job for him. And he knew he should be grateful to her. But as he drove his car up the narrow drive leading to his house, all he could feel was resentment—resentment that Fate had put him in the position of being beholden to her.

It made his blood boil.

Had Fate not dealt him a bad enough hand already, throwing his wife and Denny Fairfax together at that charity “do” last Christmas? His wife had always been an outrageous flirt, but at least she’d known which side her very expensive bread was buttered on and so she’d never become involved with anyone outside of their marriage…until she’d met Denny Fairfax—

“Who’s looking after Mandy just now?” Felicity asked.

He pulled to a halt in front of the house. “My sister. I believe you’ve met her.”

“Lacey. Yes, she came to pick up Mandy several times. Couldn’t she look after Mandy tomorrow?”

“No.” He could have told her Lacey was flying off to California in the morning; he chose not to. Felicity Fairfax was going to be his employee and he wanted to keep their relationship as impersonal as possible. “Now let’s get inside.”

He carried her case in from the car, she carried a hold-all in one hand and the cat in a wire cage in the other.

As he opened the front door, Lacey came across the hall from the sitting room. Before she realized he wasn’t alone, she said, eagerly, “How did it go?”

He stood aside to let Felicity step past him, and she walked into the hallway, swinging the cage in front of her.

“Oh, Felicity!” Lacey beamed at her. “I’m so pleased!”

“Hi, Lacey.” Felicity returned the friendly smile. “It’s lovely to see you again.”

“And is that your case? You’re going to stay here? Oh, I guess so,” she chuckled, looking at the cat. “You’ve moved your family with you.” She crouched down and said, “Psst! RJ!” The cat pulled back, pushing its rear end against the cage. Lacey laughed, and straightened. “It’s so good of you to come, Felicity.”

Jordan cleared his throat. “Is Mandy still asleep?”

“Yes. She’s been a bit unsettled but she hasn’t wakened since you left.” Lacey gave Felicity another friendly smile. “I’m leaving now—I have an early start tomorrow, I’m off to California on a shoot.” She swept up her scarlet linen jacket from the deacon’s bench at the door, and swung it over her shoulders. “I’ll be able to leave with an easy mind, knowing Mandy’s in your hands.”

“Thank you, Lacey.”

“’Bye, Jordan.” Lacey gave him her usual hug. “I’ll be in touch when I get back. Probably Friday.”

As the front door clicked shut behind her, Jordan said, “I’ll put you in the room next to Mandy’s so you’ll be able to hear her at night.”

They walked up the stairs and as they did, he saw her looking around.

“I can’t think why,” she said, slowly, “But I feel as if I’ve been here before. It all looks so familiar to me—those Mandori oil paintings, the cream marble floor in the hall, this lapis-blue carpet on the stairs and…this.” She ran a hand lightly over the Benducci grandfather clock in the curve of the stairwell. “Where have I seen this before? I know it’s one of a kind, made for some Italian count…”

“Do you read architectural magazines?”

“My friend Joanne sometimes passes her copy on to me.”

He ushered her on, up to the landing. “Then that is where you may have seen the interior of Deerhaven. There was a spread in—”

He paused as they reached the door to Mandy’s room. They’d spoken quietly, but they must have disturbed her because she’d started to fret. She sounded as if she might be waking up, though her mumbles and whimpers were drowsy.

Felicity had paused beside him. He heard her breathing quicken. “May I see her?” she asked.

“Best not go in. She’ll drop off again.”

But she wasn’t about to drop off again. He heard the creak of her mattress, and pictured her scrambling to her feet. He almost groaned aloud. Another sleepless night lay ahead, not that there was much of the night left.

Now she was crying, the cries becoming louder, more demanding, by the moment. This time, he did groan aloud. He loved his daughter more than anything on this earth, but so help him, if she didn’t let him get some sleep, he was liable to go take a very long walk off a very short pier—

Felicity touched his forearm lightly. “Why don’t you show me where I’m to sleep, and then get yourself off to bed. I’ll take care of Mandy.”

“No, I’ll need to show you the lie of the land. Downstairs, too, because I’ll be out of here before you’re up in the morning. I need to give you a tour—”

“I’ll find my own way around.” She swung the cat cage forward. “Is my room along this way?”

She was bossing him. Taking charge.

Well, okay, but just for tonight. And just because he was bushed. Tomorrow, he’d show her who was head honcho around here.

Fighting a huge yawn, he opened the door next to Mandy’s.

“There you are,” he said. “It’s all yours. En suite included.” Mandy’s crying had taken on a shrill singsong note, which he knew from experience she could keep up for hours.

“Good night, Jordan.” Felicity walked past him and set down the cat’s cage.

He knew he should say ‘Thanks’ but the word stuck in his throat. He turned to go…and then turned back.

“What about the cat?” he asked curtly.

“RJ? Oh, he’ll be fine now till morning. Then I’ll take him for a walk outside—on a leash—to get him acclimatized to his new surroundings.” She dropped her holdall on the carpet. “In a few days, once I’m sure he’s not going to run away, I’ll give him free rein.”

Even as she was speaking, she’d tossed her shoulderbag on a chair and thrown her anorak onto the bed.

Flicking back her braid, she looked at him with a challenging sparkle in her eyes. “I’m ready,” she said. “You can hit the hay now, and I’ll see you…” She gave a light shrug, her gaze amused. “Whenever.”

She walked past him again and headed for Mandy’s room. After a brief hesitation, he turned on his heel and proceeded along the corridor in the other direction, to his own room, which was on the far side of hers.

Halfway there, he turned to glance back…

She had already disappeared from view.

Felicity tiptoed into the child’s bedroom.

Rose-pink light glowed from a night-bulb plugged into an outlet by the curtained window. In its gentle gleam she could see a single bed to her right. It was neatly made but unoccupied.

She flicked her glance around and was taken aback to see Mandy in her crib—the large white-painted designer crib Marla Maxwell had delivered to Felicity’s apartment when Mandy was six months old. It had remained at Felicity’s apartment until Jordan Maxwell had sent a van for it the day after his lawyer had notified Felicity her services would no longer be required. That was three months ago, right after the car accident that had changed all their lives.

Felicity had known that although Mandy had loved napping in her crib when she was at the apartment, she had long since graduated to sleeping in a bed when she was at home. So why on earth was the three-year-old not in that bed now? Certainly the crib was big enough for her because she was dainty as an elf, but surely using it was a backward step? She’d have to ask Jordan about it tomorrow.

Tonight, her aim was to comfort his daughter.

Mandy was standing up, hanging on to the crib rail, her head thrown back, tears spilling from her eyes. She was crying in a keening way that tore at Felicity’s heart.

Tears pricking her own eyes, she whispered, “Oh, my poor darling!” as she hurried across the carpeted floor.

She ached to scoop Mandy up in her arms, but she didn’t want to frighten her. Instead, she gently set her own hands atop the child’s small-boned fingers, which were wrapped tightly around the top rail, and in a soft and soothing voice, she started singing Mandy’s favorite lullaby.

The crying stopped.

Mandy froze. And for a long moment, the only sound was a sudden loud hiccup that echoed around the room.

Then slowly, very slowly, she lifted her head up from its lolled-back position, and stared, wary-eyed and open-mouthed, at Felicity.

Felicity smiled. And blinked back a tear.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she whispered. “It’s me.”

Another hiccup. Then a shaky, teary voice that was filled with wonderment and disbelief. “Fizzy?”

Felicity’s smile was watery. “Oh, yes, my darling, darling child. It’s Fizzy. Come to look after you.”

Now she leaned in and tenderly lifted the three-year-old in her arms, and cuddled her against her bosom. Mandy seemed lighter, even more fragile than she’d been last time she’d held her. Poor baby, she’d been through so much.

Feeling a surge of joy as the child’s slender arms wound their way around her neck, Felicity sought the nearest chair—a comfortable armchair by the hearth—and sank down.

“Fizzy?”

“Yes, sweetheart.” Felicity smoothed a hand over the tear-damp hair, and kissed the tear-damp forehead. “What is it, my little love?”

“I missed you.” Mandy started to weep again, but this time in low-strained sobs even more heartbreaking than her loudest most desperate wails had been. “I missed you every day.”

“And I missed you, too, precious. You’ll never know just how much. But we’ll always be together, from this moment on. You can count on it.”

She felt the grip around her neck tighten as the child gulped out an anguished “Promise, Fizzy?”

“Yes, my darling.” Felicity injected all the assurance she could into her words. “I promise.”

If there was one thing he hated, it was the smell of burned toast.

It hailed Jordan as he strolled along the corridor to the kitchen next morning, and set his teeth on edge.

She wasn’t to have known, of course, that toast always stuck in that old toaster; a person had to stand beside it and pop the toast up when it looked ready. Still, she shouldn’t even have been downstairs, far less making toast! She should have had the savvy to stay upstairs till after he’d gone. She must know how he felt about her; and the last thing he’d want was to have to make conversation with Denny Fairfax’s sister at the best of times…and first thing in the morning, before he’d even had his first mug of coffee, was certainly not that.

Surly, and prepared to be curt, though not to the point of rudeness, because dammit, he needed her—at least for the time being!—he shoved the kitchen door open.

And found the room empty.

Oh, she’d been down all right, and not too long ago. The smell of burned toast was even more cloying in here. The sweetish aroma of strawberry tea fought a losing battle for survival under it.

A black-and-red tea caddy, with a pattern of dragons, sat on the counter.

A note on the table read “Your Toaster’s Broken.”

And over by the back door, on the gleaming white-tiled floor, her cat was throwing up.

“Good morning, Jordan!” Bette welcomed him with a cheery smile. “Glad to see you back…and you’re the first one in!” She ran an approving glance over him. “Looking like your old self, too. Nice shave, hair immaculate, no pink hairbrushes peeking out of your pocket! So I gather you’ve solved your problems with Mandy? You’ve found someone reliable? You’re—”

“Yes, yes…and yes, to whatever your third question was going to be.” Jordan ran frustrated fingers through his hair, making a mockery of Bette’s “immaculate” comment. “Java, Bette. Please tell me you’ve made the coffee?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Yes, I have. But you don’t usually have any here till midmorning. You always have coffee at home first thing in the morning to set you up—”

“Not this morning, I didn’t!” He was already halfway to the staff room. Over his shoulder, he threw back, “Not with that darned cat throwing up all over the place.”

The coffeepot was full. He took his mug from the cupboard—the one he’d got last Christmas from Mandy with her picture on it. According to the child, “Fizzy” had had it done at a photo shop, ’specially for him.

He’d never met “Fizzy,” his daughter’s baby-sitter, but he’d appreciated the thought that had gone into the gift. He’d always meant to let her know, but time had slipped away from him…and then…it was too late. The very name “Fairfax” had become anathema to him, and “Fizzy” Fairfax was the last person in the world with whom he’d wanted to become involved in any way, shape or form—

“Cat?” Bette materialized at his side. “You can’t stand cats! What was a cat doing in your kitchen?”

Jordan filled his mug with coffee. “You don’t want to know.”

“But I do.”

Bette Winslow had been married four times, and had, she often said, “Seen it all.” In her early fifties, she had the kind of personality that invited confidences—and all the agents knew that Bette in Reception was closer than a clam.

Jordan was a private person and normally he didn’t talk to outsiders about his personal problems. Today, however, frustration had him wanting to tell someone about his impossible situation. And if anyone would listen and show him sympathy, it would surely be Bette.

He added milk to his coffee, and drank half of the teeming mug in one long swallow.

Only then did he set the mug on the table, fold his arms over his chest, and say, “It’s Felicity Fairfax’s cat.”

Like everyone else in the office, Bette had learned that his wife and Denny Fairfax had been having an ongoing affair during the several months before Denny had smashed up his sports car, killing Marla in the process and sending himself into a coma. And she must know how he would feel about any of the Fairfaxes.

“So,” she said, “you’ve rehired Felicity Fairfax to baby-sit Mandy, and she’s going to live in.”

Bette, he mused, never needed to have things spelled out. “Right,” he said.

“A wise decision.”

“I had no other choice. My hours are erratic, you know I work late more often than not, and I couldn’t go leaving Mandy with her while I’m closing some late-night sale or—”

“I meant it was a wise decision to rehire Felicity Fairfax. I don’t know her, but my cousin Joanne does, and she has only the nicest things to say about her.”

“You missed my point, Bette. It wasn’t a so-called ‘wise decision’ to rehire the woman. A Fairfax is the last person I’d have hired, if I’d had a choice. I hadn’t.”

“You’re not telling me, Jordan Maxwell, that you’re tarring the sister with the same brush you were quite justified in tarring her brother with!” Censure tinged Bette’s voice. “For heaven’s sake, Jordan, the girl—”

“She’s not a girl!” He felt like a schoolboy put out after being reprimanded by a favorite teacher. “She’s a woman, and one I don’t want to be around.” He sounded, now, like a sulky schoolboy, and that irritated him.

“You have to put Mandy first. She’s the one who’s important here…not you. The poor child lost not only her mother but the baby-sitter she loved. I know she adores you but she needs a mother—or at least, a female to mother her. I don’t think you’d have had quite so serious a problem with her if she’d lost just one care-giver—in that case, she’d have been able to turn to the other for comfort.”

“I know that,” he growled. “You don’t have to…” His voice trailed away as a thought occurred to him.

“Then what are you going to do, Jordan? I don’t see a way out. You’re determined to do what’s best for Mandy, but you’re just as determined to dislike this woman. Children sense conflict. It’s the last thing Mandy needs.”

“Don’t worry.” Jordan put his hand in the small of Bette’s back and ushered her toward the door. “What you said just now…you’ve given me an idea.” Smiling, he escorted her through to the reception area. “Thanks to you, I believe I see a way out of my dilemma.”

Felicity looked down at her sleeping charge and wondered if she’d ever felt happier. She’d told Joanne the truth when she’d said she couldn’t have loved Mandy more if she were her own child. Being here, caring for her again, was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to her.

Her heart went all mushy now as she gazed upon the little girl, who looked adorable in sleep. Her bubbly blond curls were tousled, her cheeks were flushed to the same pink as her nightie, and her rosebud mouth pouted, as if she were blowing bubbles in her dreams.

She looked like a fairy…but at the thought, Felicity frowned, wondering again why Jordan still put her to bed in her crib. She reminded herself to ask him about it.

In the meantime, she was looking forward to spending the day with Mandy and wished she would wake up!

As if the child had read her mind, she opened her eyes and when she saw Felicity, her face split in a smile.

She scrambled to her feet. “Fizzy! You’re still here!”

“Of course I’m here, darling. Didn’t I tell you I always would be?”

“Let me out! Out, out, out!”

Laughing, Felicity unhooked the side of the crib and slid it down. Then taking both Mandy’s hands, she encouraged the child to jump, and swung her down, her narrow feet landing with a light thump on the carpet.

“I’ve been waiting for you to waken,” Felicity said, “so we can start our first day here together.”

Ten minutes later, they were on their way downstairs, with Mandy wearing the yellow T-shirt and shorts she’d chosen from her wardrobe, with a pair of yellow sandals.

“After breakfast,” Felicity said, “We’ll go out for a walk. But before we go out, would you like to show me over the whole house? It’s lovely, but so big. I’m sure to get lost if you don’t show me where everything is.”

“And I’ll show you outside, too.” Mandy skipped along happily. “There’s a garden, and a greenhouse, and a hot tub. Daddy sometimes uses the hot tub, but only in the winter. He says it’s for grown-ups, to relax after a hard day. Do you have hard days, Fizzy?”

She’d had some very hard days over the last three months, but now, thanks to whichever angel was sitting on her shoulder, life was going to be wonderful.

“From today on,” she said, “for me…and for you, Mandy dear…the hard days are over.”

Jordan didn’t get home till after seven.

Silence met him as he walked into the foyer. He stood and listened. Not a sound…except for the steady tick-tock of the grandfather clock in the stairwell—a clock he personally thought looked hideous. The price had also been hideous, but Marla had wanted it so Marla had bought it.