Tara - The Journey To One's Self

Yes, that was right. But how did Guruji now also know things about my childhood?

Instead of answering my thoughts as usual, he simply smiled at me enigmatically. I was just going to ask him about it, when he said: “Later, Tara! Later.”

“Now I shall introduce you to the secrets of stillness and peace and quiet.

The most important thing you must learn is not to constantly increase the speed of your life.

The first step is to learn how to enter into stillness and peacefulness. For these two are your entrance ticket into a wonderful and happy life.”

Guruji handed me a note containing a quotation:

Stillness is a great blessing,

it clears up the mind and lends it vitality.

And this stillness is a source of great energy,

not only the energy of thinking or the energy

of machines, but unspoilt energy

that has immeasurable powers and abilities.

This is the place where the very active mind can be still.

It is exactly this intensive activity

of the brain that embodies the character

nd beauty of stillness.

(Jiddu Krishnamurti)

I read the quotation through several times and considered it.

“Is that where the saying ‘In stillness lies the key to strength’ comes from?”

“That too. The world has become noisy. And in order to recognise the secrets of life you have to be quiet, otherwise you cannot hear them!

It’s important to give yourself some time out every day. Give yourself the luxury of stillness, having a bit of time and doing nothing for a moment! Do it for your own sake! Learn to listen to your inner voices again! In stillness you free yourself from the distractions of this world and enter a wonderfully exciting place. Silence gives you the power to be active and creative. That’s when you hear the whispering of the gods.”

His words sent shivers down my spine. The ‘whispering of the gods’ sounded thrilling. “What do I have to do to hear these whispers?”

“Take a bit of time every day to meditate, in other words find a time for peace and quiet. Sit down and relax, settle down and listen. Listen to your inner voices.”

Guruji closed his eyes and, in only a moment, seemed to be deeply entranced. And all the while he radiated an incredible and absolutely intensive stillness.

I copied him and closed my eyes too. I was so hungry for inner peace and wanted nothing more than to fall into this state of quiet and stillness myself.

But it wasn’t quite as easy as I had imagined. Inside my head things were not quiet at all. I kept having to think of this or that event or some task or other.

I only had to pull myself together and concentrate a bit harder and then I would succeed in shutting out my thoughts, I reassured myself. I was desperate to enter a state of peace and quiet. After all, Guruji had said it was the key to a beautiful and enchanting world of happiness.

But no matter what I did, nothing helped. Vainly I tried to concentrate even harder, but the more I tried to concentrate, the more my thoughts went into a spin. The craziest and – above all – the most banal things went through my head.

My attempts slowly turned into frustration. Apparently I was too stupid to succeed.

“Tara, just relax. You’re all tensed up”, said Guruji, breaking the silence.

“Yes, I know – but what am I supposed to do! My thoughts keep drifting off. I simply can’t concentrate enough”, I responded, disheartened and despondent.

“Just let your thoughts happen, Tara. As soon as a thought comes, consider it in all calmness, and then let it move on. Imagine these thoughts are simply clouds or soap bubbles. Take a look at them and let them go. Allow yourself a little lightness. As soon as a thought enters your head, regardless of how absurd or banal it may be, look at it, smile at it, and then wrap it up in a soap bubble and let it drift by.

If you get annoyed about thoughts disturbing you, you only give them unnecessary power. You bind them to yourself. These disrupting thoughts have received enough attention from you to feel really at home and then linger for longer than necessary.

You don’t have to and you shouldn’t concentrate, Tara! Concentration is effort and that’s not what’s meant by meditating.

Simply sit down, breathe, and see what happens.

If you want to and it helps you, pay attention to your breathing – how it comes and goes.

You’ll discover peace and stillness all by yourself.

Stop trying hard and relax! Enjoy the lightness of being when you’re meditating!”

I looked into his friendly face and immediately felt peaceful.

Again I closed my eyes, breathed in and out and in again... I sensed my breathing, coming in and going out again – apparently all of its own accord – and felt myself gradually becoming calmer and calmer. As soon as a thought popped up, and believe me there were many, I imagined it to be a soap bubble and happily let it drift on by.

Immediately these uninvited thoughts, these troublemakers, lost their power over me.

“If you like and it makes things easier for you, then you can think up a spiritual place of meditation”, Guruji continued teaching me.

“Keep your eyes closed, breathe in and out deeply, and now imagine a place where you feel really good and at ease! It can be a place at the seaside, in the hills, or on a meadow. You can make it a house or a place in the open countryside. Whatever you like and wherever you feel really comfortable and happy. Let your imagination fly.

What’s the atmosphere like at this place of yours? Try to feel it with all your senses!

Feel the grass, the wind, and the sand under your feet. Hear the birds twittering and listen closely to the sounds of mother nature!”

Guruji paused a little while and then asked me: “Where are you now, Tara?”

I’d found a truly wonderful place.

“I’m in a clearing. It’s warm and filled with sunlight. Before me there’s a waterfall pouring down from about three metres above. The water cascades into a small stream dotted with bigger stones. There are colourful plants growing in rich abandon. The birds are twittering away to their hearts’ delight and the water is gushing along. To the right there’s a swing with two seats.”

I really had the feeling of being there in that place.

“Go over to the swing and sit down on it, Tara, and enjoy the moment!”

I sat down on the swing and gave myself up entirely to this almost heavenly place.

After a time, Guruji bid me return: “Now you’ve found your very own spiritual place of meditation, your safe haven. You can come back here whenever you want.”

I opened my eyes and felt the happiness within.

It had worked. I had understood the first step. I beamed at Guruji and he smiled back at me.

“You are a good pupil, Tara.”

We continue to sit together for a little while, until Guruji finally said:

“It’s time for you to go home now, back to your life. Integrate peace and quiet into your daily life, Tara! You’ll see how it does you a world of good.”

Guruji folded his hands together and made a small bow, as he had done in taking his leave the previous time. So it was truly time to go.

I really had to tear myself away from this wonderful place of peace and quiet.

“Come back whenever you want!”

I once again took a deep sip from the love and calmness brimming over in Guruji’s eyes, stepped out onto the landing pier, and the inevitable happened: just like the last time, I turned around and wanted to wave goodbye to Guruji, but…

...the raft had disappeared. I took a look at my watch and, like before, not a second of time had passed by between my arrival and now.

Strange! The whole thing was very mysterious.

And again I was quite puzzled. What was happening? Something like that just couldn’t be.

I went to the riverbank and looked out onto the water. Still a little confused, I put my hands into my pockets and discovered the quotation Guruji had given me before. There was the proof – it had all actually happened!

An so this slip of paper immediately became a true treasure. I ran home, hardly able to contain my excitement.

I put on some candles, sat down on a cushion, and unfolded the slip of paper:

Stillness is a great blessing, it clears up

the mind and lends it vitality.

And this stillness is a source of great energy,

not only the energy of thinking

or the energy of machines,

but unspoilt energy

that has immeasurable powers and abilities.

This is the place where

the very active mind can be still.

It is exactly this intensive activity of the brain

that embodies the character and beauty of stillness.

(Jiddu Krishnamurti)

I read the quotation through again and again.

I woke up next morning lying on the carpet. At some point I must have simply fallen asleep, exhausted but extremely happy. In any case I felt really great that morning. I was full of energy and happy all round!

Still radiant, I reached the office.

That day I found working really easy.

Anna, my assistant, seemed very surprised at the change in me and kept giving me quizzical sideways looks. One could actually see what was going on in her mind: she was astonished at my sudden good mood since recently I’d been nothing but frustrated and irritable. The way she was looking at me, she probably thought I was freshly in love.

But just to be on the safe side, Anna didn’t mention it. It was wait and see for the moment. In any case it was a wonderful and even successful working day.

As a reward, I visited my favourite bistro for lunch. What a wonderful day! – I ordered spaghetti mediterranea and a latte macchiato.

I somehow felt like celebrating.

I picked up the book I’d brought with me and began to read it.

But suddenly a slip of paper fell out.

I picked it up and was surprised to read the following:

The more you concentrate on the inner world, the less problems you will have with the outer one...

As yet you are still confined,

but if you manage to meditate daily and

expand your consciousness from the finite world

to infinity, you will be free.

(Paramahansa Yogananda)

It took my breath away. Where on earth did this slip of paper come from? Was Guruji perhaps here, too? I looked around the bistro but everything was as usual. Although there were some people sitting around the tables, of Guruji there was not a single trace anywhere.

Slowly it began to dawn on me that the things happening to me just now were not a matter of “common sense” and still less a matter of “understanding”.

I read the quotation again. One thing was clear – this slip of paper was no coincidence. Of that I was absolutely sure. This note had to be a message for me! Meant for me quite personally! This was probably all Guruji’s doing. And I was immediately filled with affection for him. I popped the note carefully into my pocket.

These notes with messages apparently from another world were as precious to me as a whole treasure of diamonds. In short – I began to understand that they would one day be much, much more valuable than anything one can buy.

The rest of the day passed by in a flash. Together with the rest of the team, Anna and I sorted out material for the new summer collection. We found wonderful, colourful designs and marvellous soft-flowing materials. The mood in the office was relaxed and cheerful.

Once I finally got home I decided to redesign my living room by transforming a corner of it into a place of meditation. I placed the new, saffron-yellow cushion I had bought during my lunch break onto the ground, placed a small table before it, and hung up a magnetic board on the wall, to which I attached my two precious slips of paper.

No sooner said than done. I then set up a few candles – and the job was done.

On finishing, I looked at the result and was happy with what I saw.

Somehow it looked rather ceremonial, almost like a small altar.

That was it exactly – now I had my own small private chapel.

Happy with the effect, I sat down cross-legged on my new cushion and inaugurated my new meditation corner.

Peace, quiet, and doing nothing, into which I took a deep dive, were my entry tickets.

At first the wildest thoughts filled my head once again, but this time I let nothing deter me. Again and again I affectionately enveloped my irritating peace-killers in soap bubbles and let them drift away. For a while this continued, but finally I managed it: I was filled with a wonderful, deep feeling of joy and was moved to tears. It was an incredibly uplifting moment!

This had to be what Guruji had been talking about.

I felt simply incredible – as if I had bathed in pure happiness for a moment.

The next few days passed by like an express train. I had quite a lot to do but the new collection was almost complete and looked very promising.

As I was told later, apparently all the members of my team, and especially Anna, noticed that I was beginning to change. A new aura seemed to surround me in fact. I frequently had a big smile on my face and was suddenly full of understanding and consideration for others. Working with me was a lot of fun. And God knows, that hadn’t always been the case. The stress I had apparently still spread around me only a short while ago was suddenly gone. And this was all happening despite our being in the very middle of the most hectic phase of developing our collection!

At first my team was sceptical, but with every passing day the working atmosphere got better and was more relaxed, and the office climate became cheerful but focused and creative.

Finally there came a day when I managed to truly astonish my employees. I announced that the room next to my office, which had been relegated to serving as a storage room, was to become a place of meditation and retreat. Anyone who felt like it could seek refuge there and enjoy some peace and quiet.

I make no further comment.

I lovingly decorated the room in yellow and orange tones and placed large cushions on the floor.

At home I drafted a short booklet on finding peace and quiet and placed it in clear sight in our new “office”, the room of tranquillity. Whoever felt like it could read it. It was simply an offer, nothing more!

I had noticed what good these periods of peace and relaxation did me and sensed the power and energy these breaks released in me; now I only desired that my employees might also develop a taste for this and reap the benefits, for in the meantime I had realised how immensely constructive the activity was that could come from an apparently passive state of doing nothing.

Having experienced all these positive changes, I was filled with a real yearning to see Guruji which grew ever stronger.

Finally I could wait no longer and (once again) I dropped everything I was doing and set out to see him. I walked towards the pier and...

It was the same ‘old’ story.

I was back on the raft with Guruji who greeted me warmly and took my hands into his, beaming broadly.

We sat down and drank some tea together. And immediately the familiar and wonderful feeling of warmness which emanated from Guruji streamed through me.

Yes, I was really back in the most beautiful place in the whole wide world!

Guruji sank down into the lotus position on the floor. Warm and soft sunlight radiated in and around the raft and once again there was a heavenly atmosphere. The strange thing was that it had been foggy outside and the sun had not broken through before I had stepped onto the raft...

Whatever! The only important thing was just to be here.

I made myself comfortable and eagerly awaited what Guruji would tell me or teach me that day. Expectantly I looked at him but Guruji held his eyes shut and gave the impression of being very absorbed.

Okay then! Probably I was supposed to curb my impatience. So I closed my eyes and try to settle down and become still.

I managed to do so effortlessly and after only a few moments I was deeply relaxed.

After a while I heard Guruji’s voice say, “Give me your hand, Tara, today we’re going to go on a small excursion!”

Guruji reached out his hand to me. A little surprised, I put my hand in his.

And once again something very, very strange happened.

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